Chapter 22

Tyler

Present day…

Things are a blur and a half as soon as we got back from Florida. Our plans to go over and see her dad straight away get pushed back because of Ashton's situation with his father. It's all very tragic and I know he's not in a good mindset, but he has Maddison by his side and she's proving to be his tower of strength.

Cindy and I have been inseparable ever since we got back. The guys were pushing me for info when I met up with them on the ice for a practice game, which we often do, even if the season is out. It's kinda good just to have a muck around with them and not have the usual pressure that's upon us. Our Stanley Cup win is still the buzz of the town.

I tell them nothing, as much as Jay pushes me to reveal some information about me and Cindy. He knows I've got it bad, even if I'm temporarily keeping a lid on it.

In fact, I'm sure Ash and Taylor know that too, even if they don't know what went down on our trip. It's not even that I think they'll tell anyone. I just need to sort my shit out first before I let it fly how much I'm in love with her. I don't regret one word of telling her that either. It's been the one constant thing on my mind around all the chaos that proceeds us.

One thing for sure is that we will be coming clean first with her family and mine, and then come what may with the rest.

As another week rolls on, I'm starting to feel the pressure of the truth I've been keeping from her about Stacey. I can't even get hold of her again and it's irking me.

I've been trying since we got back from the trip and I was that close to blurting it all out in Florida, and again when we got home. It's like this massive burden lurking in the shadows, and I know it has to come out. The problem is, Stacey is MIA and that's worrying. Suddenly not answering any of my texts, or my calls, which strikes me as odd since she was the one that contacted me that night I got to Florida and needed to talk to me urgently.

I need to fucking talk to Stacey. I even try a couple of her friends, but don't get anywhere because it seems no one wants to fucking talk to me.

I finally hear from her just after an exhibition game at the stadium. The season is far from starting, and I'm getting ready to go take some time off.

We're planning to talk to her dad this weekend, and then head out to Mercer Island. Cindy put in for two weeks' leave when Andrea gets back from Canada. We were both surprised it got approved at short notice. It's just as I'm on my way to meet Luke for a bite to eat to fill him in on what's been going on since I saw him last when her text comes through.

Stacey

Tyler, I'm sorry. I was in the hospital. I took a turn and my blood pressure was too high. I'm okay now, the baby is okay too. When do you want to meet up?

I stare at the message and immediately call her. I don't know why she's fucking texting me about this again when she could pick up the phone and dial my number.

"Hey," I manage, when she picks up.

"Hi, Tyler."

"Just read your message."

"I'm okay, the baby is too."

"We need to meet, ASAP. I can drive to yours." She lives just out of the city. She moved when we split, but I don't know exactly where, or her address.

"I'm uptown, staying with a friend close to the hospital. I can meet you this afternoon. There's a cafe just around the corner called Cosmos?"

"Fine. I'll look up the address. I'll see you then."

I run my hands through my hair when we hang up. I feel like the weight of the fucking world is on top of me.

It's probably a good thing I'm not over at Cindy's right now. I feel so damned guilty every time I'm with her. And I'm corrupting her at every turn. We've been slowly exploring since the day we got back, though she still hasn't given me the all clear to eat her out yet. We're working up to that. Hopefully she will still want to be near me when I break the news to her about what's going on.

I need to work out what that even is first. And if Stacey doesn't want to keep the baby, I need to work out what the hell I'm going to do.

Luke's a pretty knowledgeable guy with the ways of the world, he's had a tonne of girlfriends, and more recently, a long-term one. He's always good with advice.

"Bro." I slap him on the back in a pound hug when I see him. He came to the cup with his girlfriend and his parents, but I never got to see them with the commotion and the after party.

"Ty, you look like shit, man."

"Thanks a lot," I chuckle at his brutal honesty. We've always been like that and I don't take offense.

"You look like the weight of the world is on you right now. Shouldn't this be the best time of your life with the Cup and that gorgeous girl you're hooking up with?"

Yes, he knows about Cindy.

"Yah, it should be," I say as I take a seat and shrug out of my jacket. The server comes over and offers us both a menu. I order a black coffee with an extra shot, tempted to ask for a whisky while I'm at it, but I don't because it's early.

"You seem different," he says, looking at me as he sits down.

Luke is a broad guy, solid, with blonde shaggy hair and brown eyes. He has that baby face that's always made him a hit with the ladies.

"I feel different, trust me."

"Banging the coach's daughter is that good, bro?"

I chagrin. "That ain't exactly what's bothering me right now. I wish it was the least of my troubles. We're talking to her dad this weekend, then I have to make it official with the committee. It should be pretty straightforward from there. Though I am kinda worried about what her dad is gonna say. I respect him a lot. I've known him a while now."

"You'll work it out, Ty. You're a good person, he knows that."

"Thanks, man. But the best for his daughter?"

"Why the hell not?"

I chuckle darkly. "You're biased cos' you've known me a lot longer."

"And I've seen the shit you've been through with women. The last one was no ride at Disneyland."

"Speaking of which," I sigh. Settling on a burger and fries when the server comes back to take our order and to deliver our drinks. I'm too exhausted and brain fucked to even take in what is on the menu.

He looks up at me, drinking a soda while I sip on my strong coffee.

"What's going on?" He asks.

"I got the weirdest text when I was in Florida," I start, then run a hand down my face.

I'm so fucking nervous about this whole thing, my hands start shaking.

"You're almost scaring me, Ty."

"Well, she scared me," I sigh. "She said she's pregnant and the kid's mine."

He almost splutters his mouthful of soda all over the table. "Pregnant? What the fuck?"

"So she claims."

"But hasn't it been months and months?"

"Over six months."

"I'm not even comprehending anything you're saying. Let me get this straight, you haven't seen her in over six months and she texts you while you're in Florida to tell you she's pregnant with your kid?"

"That's what I'm saying."

"I think you need a double shot of whisky."

"I would, but I'm driving to see her after this."

"Where?"

"Uptown, some cafe called Cosmos."

"Fuck, brother."

"You're telling me."

"What the hell are you going to do?"

"Oh, it gets better. I called her after I got the message while Cindy was taking a shower. Then she tells me she's thinking about adopting the baby out."

His eyes bug wide, not for the first time since I sat down. "Holy shit, what?"

"Yeah. She sounded pretty confused on the phone. I couldn't believe what I was hearing."

"Did she say why she didn't tell you sooner?"

"Some shit about not thinking I'd want anything to do with it. She thought she could do it on her own, but now she's freaking out."

"It doesn't add up."

"I know. That's why I need to meet her and see what's really going on."

"It sounds completely fucked. What does Cindy think about all of this?"

My eyes flick up to him over my coffee cup.

"Fuck, Ty. She doesn't know?"

"What the hell was I supposed to say while we were together in Miami? I didn't even have the details, I still don't. I don't even know if she really is pregnant."

"You think she'd make it up?"

"I don't see why, but it's really coming out of left field. We left on okay terms, I mean, she was bitter about the breakup. She wanted to move in and I just didn't feel the connection like I did at the start. You know how she was, constantly mad at me for being away, wanting me to drop everything to be with her."

"I know it," he says. "But you gotta tell Cindy. You don't want her finding out in the press, Ty. All it takes is one shot from the paparazzi to blow it up in your face, and it won't just be Cindy finding out in the papers, it'll be everyone."

I know he's right. I've felt it in my gut all along. Cindy and I have been getting closer and closer. Our lovemaking has been almost a daily repetition, and she's getting more and more brave with me. We're both falling deeper, and now I'm fucking scared to tell her in case she runs a mile. I mean, what the hell would she say to something like this?

"You're right. I know it."

"I'd do it sooner rather than later."

I know I've got time before I see Stacey this afternoon. It's only twelve now.

Or I could wait to see what Stacey has to say first, then see Cindy afterward and tell her everything.

"What are you gonna do if it's true and she doesn't want to keep the baby?" He asks.

I sigh. "Well, I have to try to find a way to keep her. It's a girl, by the way. I don't want her to adopt my child out to someone else," I say. "I know it might look impossible, but what choice do I have? It takes two to tango, so I don't expect her to raise the kid by herself with no input from me. I would never do that. But if she doesn't want the baby, then I'm gonna do everything I can to make sure I get custody."

I've decided that much, at least. No child of mine is going to be raised by strangers.

I won't let her adopt our baby out.

"Fuck, man. This is heavy."

"You're telling me. I bet you're glad you asked me to have lunch with you today."

He chuckles. "Never a dull moment in the Ty Peterson world. How are your folks?" He asks, trying to change the subject a little, which I appreciate.

"They're as good as ever. I'll be heading back to Mercer for at least a couple of weeks, starting next week, to catch up with them. I need some downtime."

"Cindy going with you?"

"If she'll still have me."

"From what it sounds like, you two are strong. And I can see you've got it bad for her. I guess when you know, you know. It's gonna be tough on the both of you, but she sounds like the kind of girl that would support you."

"I think she would too. But this is a lot. She's the woman of my dreams, it just works between us, Luke. I don't want to ruin it."

"Something tells me the only way you're going to do that is the longer you keep it from her."

I know he's right. He's the voice of reason that I knew he was going to be. And getting his opinion, being a person on the outside looking in, is invaluable. I respect his input.

We eat lunch and I try my best to talk sports and other shit that doesn't include my impending discussion with Stacey, Cindy, and then Cindy's father. That's going to be a whole barrel of laughs too when he finds out. I think I'm almost dreading that part the most. Not only have I gone behind his back and team policy, but I've been secretly seeing his daughter behind closed doors. I nailed her in Miami while on a work charity event and have been nailing and corrupting her ever since. Now we're about to come clean so we don't get in trouble with our jobs, and my ex is saying she's nine months pregnant with my child she doesn't want to raise.

The mind doesn't just boggle, it's going to explode.

After Luke and I part ways and he wishes me good luck, saying he'll call me later to check how things went, I jump in my car and take it for a fast drive on the back roads out of town. I've got time to clear my head before I head Uptown.

When I'm halfway back to my place Cindy calls and something strikes me from what Luke said, and it's been screaming at me ever since; the words need to come from me first. I don't want Cindy to find out any other way.

Before I even answer, I'm doing a U-turn in the middle of the street to the annoyance of the other vehicles around me, avoiding a near miss and ignoring several horns beeping at me. I decide to head over to her place before I get to Stacey.

"Babe," I say, when I answer. Not trying to sound grave, like my life is potentially over. But I can't help it.

She picks up on it immediately. "Ty, what's wrong?"

"Something's happened," I say. "I met with Luke just now, but I'm coming over if you're there."

"I'm home," she says. "What's happened? Is Luke okay?"

"He's fine."

"Are you okay? Ty, talk to me?"

"I'm physically okay, but there's something else. I'll be there soon."

"You're scaring me."

"I'll be there in fifteen."

I hang up and step on the gas. I can't believe I'd even wait another second before telling her. It's the fair thing to do, and if by some chance the whole Stacey thing turns out to be some kind of sick joke, at least Cindy will know I didn't keep something from her. Even though I have.

I don't know what she's going to think. I defiled her for god's sake. I've been showing her a wild time ever since that night in Miami. And more to the point, I love her.

I've slept at her place most nights with Henry snuggled between us. We both know it's not right sneaking around, but it's all going to come out this weekend. It can't come soon enough for me.

One thing I know is that I need her support. I know it's a lot to ask, and since we're newly dating, it's not the kind of thing that's normal in the slightest.

I don't want her to freak and decide it's all too hard, or be pissed for not telling her when it happened.

My head's a fucking mess. But I need to tackle this head on.

I'm Tyler fucking Peterson. And it's about time I started acting like it.

* * *

I get to Cindy's place in record time.

She's waiting for me the second I walk in. I already have a key. Henry is on me in no time, pressing his paws up on my leg, as I bend down to shower him attention.

She looks relieved to see me okay and in one piece. I'm not exactly sure what she's expecting, but I guess calling and telling her there's a situation isn't exactly the best thing to say to someone without further explanation.

But face to face is what's right, I didn't want to break this over the phone. I needed to see her and gauge her reaction.

I pull her close and give her a soft kiss on the lips. It may just be the last time I ever taste them. She tries to deepen the kiss, gripping my ass and pulling me towards her.

I reciprocate for a moment. Our tongues collide and my hands grip her hips as we kiss hungrily, like we haven't seen each other for weeks.

But my predicament flashes at the forefront of my mind, and I pull away abruptly.

She blinks up at me, a little shocked, I think. "Sorry," she quickly says. "I got carried away for a second."

"It's okay." I want to be buried so deep inside her right now that I actually disappear, at least temporarily. But I can't do it like this, she deserves better than that.

She's my safe place. With her, I can truly be myself and not have to worry about if I'm saying and doing shit right. Now I feel like that could be truly ripped away, quicker than it all started.

"We better sit down, Cind." We walk over to the couch as Henry follows. He jumps up onto his spot on the chaise lounge on top of his fluffy blanket.

She looks wary and has gone more pale than she normally is. I don't want her to think my feelings have changed or she's done something wrong, so I just come out with it.

The whole damned story. From the texts in Miami, which I show her on my cell, to the phone call today when Stacey finally got back to me and she told me about our baby girl.

She sits back in shock, her hands covering her mouth.

"I've no idea what's true and what isn't," I say. "That's why I'm meeting her uptown at four. I can't wait another second. I need to know if it's true, and what she intends to do."

"I can't believe it." She sits there aghast, taking everything in. "Why didn't you say something sooner?"

"I wanted to get the information from Stacey first," I say. "And to be honest, I was in complete shock."

"Ty, that's a pretty big secret to keep from me! So that night you felt unwell after you went to the mini-mart, was that when you spoke to her?"

I look down at my feet. Fuck. That sounds bad when she puts it like that.

"Yes," I admit. "It was."

"Tyler!"

"I'm sorry. I didn't know what to do, Cindy. What was I meant to say?"

"The truth would have been good!"

"I'm here now," I sigh, rubbing my hands over my face. "And I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry."

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know."

"Do you still love her?"

I balk. "What? No!"

"Are you going to get back with her?"

"No! Cindy, how could you think that?"

She stands up now as the cogs turn in her head. "Ty, tell me the truth."

"I am telling you the truth!"

"Do you seriously expect me to believe that you're going to just let the mother of your unborn child walk away?"

"I want to be in the baby's life, Cindy. But I don't want to be with Stacey anymore. I'm not in love with her. I'm in love with you."

She scoffs. It's the first time I've seen her even a little fired up. "You know, the last guy that said that to me screwed another girl right before my eyes!"

"I'm not him, Cindy. I'd never do something like that."

Tears spring to her eyes. And I feel like such a fucking jerk for upsetting her like this. My mind flicks into captain mode. I know I'm not dealing with the team now and my captaincy means shit here, but I need to broach it as carefully and tactically as I would if I were with one of the team right now.

I need to put my feelings aside and reassure her.

"Baby, I love you." I stand to reach for her, but she pushes me away.

"I think you should go. We need some space, and I need to process this."

"I don't want to leave it like this."

"I'm going to need some time."

"I want you to know there's zero chance of me getting back with Stacey."

"You say that now, but you're about to see her heavily pregnant!"

"That doesn't matter. What matters is how I feel about you. I'll do anything for you. Why do you think I'm here? I was going to tell you after I saw her today, but I couldn't keep it in any longer."

"But you've been okay to screw me senseless every day and sleep in my bed every night!"

I don't like her talking about it like that, like what we do is a dirty, sinful act.

But now she's sounding like she's seeing it that way.

"That part was wrong. I should have told you in Miami, I admit that. But it doesn't change how I feel about you."

"It changes everything, Ty."

Her words hit me like a tonne of bricks. I stare at her, realizing, not for the first time, that this could be the straw that broke the camel's back.

She's pissed, and for good reason. But I'm here, aren't I?

But maybe it isn't enough. Maybe I've fucked it up for good this time.