Chapter 1

Tyler

A few months ago…

I've been watching Cindy Carter for months.

She has no freaking clue. And I've no idea what I think I'm doing.

For one, it's unethical, watching someone from the cafe across the street from the stadium every day. Two, it's kinda stalkery.

Who am I kidding? If it were anyone else, I'd think it was downright creepy.

But Cindy has had me from hello. She has no clue about that either.

I rarely see her at work, despite being at the stadium most days. But I first noticed her when she joined the Hawks last year, right before Stacey and I got together.

It's just been more recently that I've honed in on how fucking beautiful she is and how I have the full-blown hots for her.

Each day, I get a tall macchiato from Cafe Grande and sit at the window, just to see her swipe her pass at the administration entrance.

I'm always intrigued to see what she'll be wearing today. Usually it's the Hawks polo, or the long sleeve version and bomber jacket when the weather is less than idyllic. But it's the shoes that make me smile. Some days it's high heels and wrap around the ankle pumps, some days it's glittery vans or a pair of Nikes.

Every fucking day I anticipate how she's going to wear her hair, and if she's done something different with her makeup. I'm surprised at how I notice these things.

Cindy is a slight woman with long legs, dark hair to her waist with a blunt cut fringe, and dark almond-shaped eyes.

Oh, and did I mention she happens to be Coach Carter's daughter?

That's an interesting clincher for me to try to get around. Fuck knows if she'll even be interested in me.

Watching her every day has certainly taken my mind off Stacey and our recent breakup. It's been a few months, and the guys are starting to notice that there hasn't been anyone else.

I feel a thump next to me and my heart momentarily lurches.

My head quickly snaps sideways. It's Jay.

He's one of my best friends and plays center for the Seattle Hawks.

He's blonde, blue-eyed, and a hit with the puck bunnies. That's all he's ever been interested in.

Jay Jefferson has made more headlines than me recently, but I"m happy for him to take the spotlight.

"What's up, bro?" He announces his arrival by throwing his Hawks cap on the bench table in front of us and runs his hand through his hair.

"Rough night?" I quirk an eyebrow.

"Some blonde gave me nightmares." He smirks.

I resist the urge to roll my eyes. Normally I would encourage him to provide more details about his recent activities, but my mind is elsewhere as I haven"t seen her yet. I don't want to fucking miss her walking in. This is a strategic and desperate operation I have going on here.

Or more like how pathetic I've become.

"Spare me the details," I mutter into my coffee.

He looks at me strangely. "You wake up on the wrong side, Ty?"

I don't bother answering.

"You gonna tell me why you sit here every freaking day at the same time?" he prattles on.

I give him the side eye. "You gonna let me drink my fucking coffee before the barrage of questions?"

"You should be so lucky. Speaking of lucky; man, I hit the big time last night. You should come out with me on the weekend. We can hit the clubs. You need to get out more and let loose."

"Last thing I need," I tell him. "Especially in the middle of the season."

He waves it off. That's the thing with Jay. He can pull all-nighters and still perform on the ice the next morning. He's younger than me, I'm thirty-three, and the all-night benders definitely don't agree with me anymore. Especially not during the season.

"That Stacey chick has really done a number on you." He shakes his head.

If only that were my number one problem. "Far from it," I tell him. "I'm fine. I'm just lying low. It"s not ideal for my image to be out partying right after our split."

"Since when did you care about your image?"

I glance at him. Good point and as observant as ever. He's the kinda guy that's always jovial, making everyone laugh, and in everyone's shit. You kinda forget he's fucking smart and observant at the same time.

"Since now." My heart starts to kick up a notch because I can see Cindy's car pulling in.

Yep. The cafe is located with direct access to the side of the stadium, where I get a full-blown view of the staff parking lot. I doubt anyone else sits here like a freak just for a quick glimpse of the girl who works in the same building but is rarely seen.

I need to grow some balls.

Jay's looking at me. But I don't move my eyes from her svelte frame. She's grabbing all her shit from her car and trying to close the door while she juggles it all.

A smile inadvertently pulls from the corners of my mouth.

This is the fucking highlight of my day. Not watching her juggle shit, just watching her full stop.

I should ditch Jay, run on over there, and help her carry something. Could be the perfect icebreaker.

Maybe I will tomorrow. Famous last words.

Jay's rabbiting on about something in my ear while I sip my coffee, drowning out everything around me, including him. Having the ability to do that takes some practice. I guess coming from a large family will make you good at most things.

My fellow teammates, Taylor and Ashton, are practically experts at drowning out the noise. They"ve become close friends over the years, as has Jay. They're the ones who told me about using visualization techniques to drown shit out on the ice during important plays. I guess it's kind of the same thing as I'm doing here in the cafe. Sort of.

"… then she grabs me from behind, and slides her hand down the front of my jeans right there in the middle of the club. She didn't care who saw. We practically did it on the dance floor…"

Jay, please shut the fuck up for five seconds.

The highlight of my day is about to slip into the stadium. I'll have to come up with an excuse to pass by her office. I know it's true. Because I've resorted to that kind of shit, instead of being my upfront usual self and just walking up to her.

That's if I can even catch a break.

I've been lying low on that front, not wanting to draw attention to myself.

And that's unlike me.

Maybe I'm feeling ill. Or maybe she's just too good of a distraction.

I notice Jay has now stopped talking. I turn my head to see if he's fallen unconscious.

With a sly grin he turns his head from the exact direction of the employees entrance, then back to me.

Here we fucking go.

"Anyone would think you're sitting here stalking the admin girls," he chuckles as his coffee is brought over by the bubbly server and he gives her a wink and a smile.

For fuck's sake, Jay.

I slowly turn my head to look at him. "What?" I try to feign confusion.

The best thing with him is to play dumb, or at least attempt it.

"Eight thirty every morning," he sighs. "It's all coming to me now."

"What's coming to you?" Not that I want to know the answer.

"You're telling me you just like the coffee here?"

"No idea what train of thought you're on this time." I take another swig. "But yes, I do like the coffee here." I'm internally disappointed that she was quicker than usual at getting inside the building. My moment is over before it's even begun.

And I can't tell anyone, even Jay, because it can never go anywhere.

"Wasn't that Cindy Carter just now?" He continues.

I try my best to ignore him, even if I'm clenching my fist under the table.

Why he takes this moment in time to be more observant than he's ever been is beyond me. I think I'd rather him ramble about his grab-fest on the dancefloor last night than scrutinize what I'm doing. Jay wouldn't care, he'd be all for it. In fact, he'd be devising ways around the little non-fraternization clause thing in our contracts without permission. The truth is, I want to keep it to myself until I figure it out.

I know I'm being a possessive motherfucker to my friend over a girl I don't even know, but know enough that I can't ever have her. And I'll never know. "Who?" I give him a quizzical look.

He grins. "Whatever, bro. But she's outta all our leagues, even yours."

"What makes you say that?" I bite, and I know I shouldn't. I need to keep my fantasy and obsession under wraps. Fucking bide your time, idiot.

"Coach Carter's daughter, for one. Do you want me to add to that?"

"Am I going to be able to stop you?"

I blame Coach Carter for this even happening in the first place. Not because he's the father to such a stunning daughter to begin with—one that not only looks mysterious but I've heard is super smart and most definitely loves hockey—but because I overheard her dad talking to someone before all my stalkery started and I heard something that I can't wrap my head around.

Something no one was supposed to hear.

And now, it's made me even more protective of her. Someone I don't know personally, but I feel a connection to that I can't explain to anyone, even myself.

Protecting? Yes. That sounds better than being a stalker.

Not that she would ever want, or probably need, my protection. But if I watch from afar, at least I can know she's safe.

My mind wanders back to the conversation Coach Carter had just a few weeks ago; When I walked up to his office to ask him about the line-up for the upcoming finals, and to go over a few strategy things…

"She's fitting in perfectly well, Adele, she's been here long enough now to know what she's doing… I know that, you think I don't know? We can't keep her contained in bubble wrap for the rest of her life…"

I pause by the door, feeling like an ass, because I should just walk away. But who are they talking about? Maybe Cindy? I've no idea what Cindy's mom is called, but I know Coach is married to a beautiful southern lady called Angelique, and I don't think that's Cindy's mom.

I linger because I really need to get his attention. Coach Carter is one hard guy to pin down.

I pull out my cell and play around with some messages while he finishes his conversation. Hopefully that won't take long.

"You've got to let Cindy live her life, Adele. She has the same set of friends since college. They're good kids… no, she isn't seeing anyone, not that I know of… I know but it's been a long time since that incident." My ears prick up at the mention of Cindy. So they are talking about her. It must be his ex-wife. "I've protected her the best I can her whole life. You can't have twenty-four-hour security. She wouldn't want that. It was a near miss in college, Adele. We were lucky. They charged that asshole who tried to grab her in the parking lot. It's over with… and Damon too. You can't keep harping on at her every time you talk about her ex boyfriend, that's what pushed her away in the first place."

My interest is more than piqued now. Like a complete and utter asshole, I've stopped scrolling and I'm hanging onto every word. Someone tried to grab her in a parking lot when she was in college? What the fuck? And what about her ex boyfriend?

I've been sweet on Cindy ever since I broke up with Stacey. Well, actually, I noticed her before that, but when Stacey and I got together, I only had eyes for her. Now I've done a complete 180, and have been trying to figure out ways to talk to Cindy outside of work.

"If you want to talk to our daughter, you need to pick up the phone and do it yourself."

His voice is getting louder and more and more annoyed. Coach sounds annoyed most of the time. It's his natural tone; rough, gravelly and everything New York. And let's face it, he even scares me sometimes and that's saying something.

He's a highly respected coach in the industry, and great at what he does, but you don't wanna get on his bad side, ever.

Of course, I can't hear the reply of who he's talking to, but his tone suggests he's about to cut things short. "I have to go, Adele. She's your daughter too, so maybe bring something up with her that doesn't involve hashing up the past… Alright, I'll believe that when I see it. Gotta go…"

He hangs up the phone, and I wait a second or two before I announce myself. I don't want him to think I'm loitering outside listening to a very private conversation about his daughter, even though that's exactly what I just did.

I knock on the door, clearing my throat, awaiting Coach"s permission to enter...

I gained so much knowledge from that conversation just a few weeks ago. More than I should have. And, of course, I acted completely natural when I walked into his office.

His words kept my mind reeling.

Yet my thoughts continue to spin.

Someone hurt Cindy? For fuck's sake. I mean, he did say they were lucky—so maybe nothing sinister happened. The idea rattles me more than I have a plausible excuse for.

I guess I've always been like this; protective of my younger brothers, cousins, good friends, anyone I consider in my circle… except Cindy isn't in it. And yet I feel the same surge of protectiveness wash over me.

It isn't normal. My attraction is turning into something more pressing. A burning in the back of my throat and somewhere deep within me. I have a yearning for her that I just can't shake.

Someday I might pluck up the courage to talk to her.

"She's ripe for the picking," Jay says, breaking me out of my reverie. "That's all I have to say about it. If it weren't for that fraternization clause in my contract, I'd be giving it my best shot?—"

I realize he's still talking about Cindy as I hold my palm up to stop one more fucking word from coming out of his mouth. "Jay, I'm warning you."

He grins his head off and surrenders both palms up. "I was joking. Trying to get a rise out of you and I see it worked. You have it bad though for someone, don't you?"

"I don't know her."

"I said someone, not her specifically." He shakes his head again. "And you're not exactly answering the question, bro. You seem all agitated all of a sudden, the second I mentioned Cindy."

"Just reacting to my surroundings." I sigh. "Besides, we have to get going."

"You know, there are ways and means around it," he whispers.

I still can't help myself from looking over at the entry door to see if she may have forgotten something from the car. If Jay wasn't here and she came back out, would I jog over the road and go and talk to her? Just to help her with her things?

Probably not.

I've turned into a pussy. What can I say?

"Not gonna happen," I tell him. "What would you know about it, anyway?"

"Can't say I've fucked anyone who works for the Hawks, but I have flirted with some of the office babes. Kinda hot when you think about it. Like forbidden fruit, isn't it?"

Cindy Carter is way more than forbidden fruit.

However, I won"t disclose this to Jay. It will only encourage him to annoy me.

"You're right about one thing," I mutter. "The office girls are off limits, and too good for any of us."

"You'd only fuck it up, anyway." He squeezes my shoulder in solidarity.

I glance at him again. "Thanks, bro."

"Hey, I tried to tell you about Stacey. I knew you two weren"t compatible."

"How does that make me being the one who fucked it up?"

"You never let anyone get close."

"Who the hell are you now, Dr. fucking Phil?" I swipe a hand over my face in exasperation.

I know I need to do something about this obsession. Or at the least, get to know her. She needs to know my existence, at least.

Surely they can"t throw me off the team just for that?

While I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize my career in the NHL, my growing need to know Cindy Carter is starting to get consuming. And not just because of what I overheard. I've seen her in the halls, sometimes at the cafeteria.

I like the way she holds herself. She's sweet, and maybe a little on the quiet side. And I get the impression that she may not be too sure of herself because she's reserved in our staff meetings and is often looking down. I don't think she has any idea how beautiful she is.

Understated elegance is what my mom would call it. And fuck, I need to call my mom now I'm thinking about it.

Jay shrugs. "I know a hell of a lot more than you might think."

"All your worldly experience?" I muse. "I wouldn't exactly call your track record knowledge, Jay. No offense."

"None taken. But I'm the one getting laid every night, brother. Just remember that."

I give him the side eye and shake my head. Until Stacey, I never thought I'd be the one even thinking this, but I know there's more to it than just getting laid every night.

I mean, I know there is. I was in an exclusive relationship with Stacey for the past year. But in the end it was all physical with me and her, and even that faded out.

Maybe I need something more than that? One part I do miss is having someone there for me. Even just a text message during the day to check in.

"Shit gets old," I say, before I can even stop the words.

Jay laughs and slaps me on the back. "You really have it bad, Ty. For fuck's sake."

I shake my head. "Stace got to me, that must be what it is. It's been a while since I dined out, remember?" I stand up and finish the rest of my coffee, placing the cup back down on the table.

He stands up too, grabbing his takeout cup. "You ate in a lot, Ty. But you're free to do whatever you want now."

"True." I nod. But there's only one thing I want. And it starts with the letter ‘C'.