Chapter 10

Cindy

Ever since the kerfuffle with my mom on Sunday, I've had a pain in my head that won't go away. All my life I've suffered this when things get too much. My stomach hurts and my head spins. I think it's anxiety.

The fact I don't see Mom too often is probably a good thing in that regard. I don't know how I would put up with it if I saw her every week. I know that sounds awful, but her scrutiny has only gotten worse over the years. Not better.

You would think as we got older she would have toned it down, but she's still the same as she ever was, and I have no regrets about what I said.

The truth is, I don't think about that time too much anymore. Even if it shaped me in a lot of ways as I got older. But my mom seems intent on not letting me forget.

Thank God I have Caitlin, otherwise I'd think I was going insane.

Susie calls me on Tuesday night, and I have to admit I'm feeling a lot better.

I have been working a lot lately, and don't spend a lot of time doing nothing, even when I'm at home. Henry loves it. We curl up together on the couch and watch movies. I'm sure he'd love it if I was home all day, every day, and I don't think I would mind either.

"How are you feeling?" Susie asks me as I lay back on the couch with Henry laying on my chest snoozing away.

"Okay," I say, though it's not convincing. She knows all about the Mom lunch debacle. "Better than I did on Monday. Wild horses usually can't drag me away from the team meeting."

"I bet you're bummed about that." Yep, she knows all about the Tyler situation, too.

She likes the game, but she's not one of those real invested girls in the hype. I know she won't say anything to anyone.

"Just a tad." I sigh. Tyler and I have been texting every day, and I'll be back at work tomorrow. We have our coffee date before the team goes away for the weekend, too.

"You need to tell me about that kiss again."

I laugh for the first time today. I haven't told her where his hand brushed past. "It was more like a brush of the lips."

"Still," she says. "It's Tyler Peterson, for heaven's sake!"

"I know, he's divine."

"Do you think things could go anywhere?"

"I might have to dig into my contract a little deeper." Though I know by now pretty much what it says. I remember a list of what is considered appropriate for romantic relationships in the team, though I haven't read over it since things progressed with Tyler. It's not like it was ever a thing for me.

"Does it make any difference if your dad is the coach?" she asks.

"Well, he doesn't exactly make all the rules," I say. "But I'm fairly sure he'd be against it. I mean, do you think Tyler is really that into me?"

She laughs. "Who are you kidding? From what you said, it seems like he's head over heels."

"That's true," I admit.

"It's been long enough. You should go for it."

"You sound like my sister," I chuckle.

"Speaking of which, thank God she was there on Sunday. I'm sorry about your mom."

She knows it's a sore subject for me at times and all the goings on of my growing up.

"It's okay. I should know better than to think we can have one lunch when I haven't seen her in ages."

"Have you talked to her since?"

"Nope, she tried to call later that night," I sigh. "I guess I have to sooner or later. It's not like I can trade her for another Mom."

"I guess not."

I get the life my mom has is the only one she knows. But I still don't understand a lot of her reasoning, considering I'll now be classed as the devil for saying the F word in front of her.

Like she can read my mind, Susie is giggling down the line. "I can't believe you said what you said."

I shake my head at the memory. I mean, it wasn't funny at the time, but her shocked face was priceless. "She gets me so mad, Suse. She sees no wrong doing in what she's spouting. And wonders why I went crazy at her."

"So not cool."

"I mean, why would I ever want to know he's still seeing the same girl he cheated on me with all those years ago?"

"I have no idea."

It may be long in the past, but being cheated on and actually finding them at it that day still haunts me. That's why I don't like it being brought up and prefer not to think about it.

Damon changed the course of my life with what he did. I'd still be back in Buffalo with a husband and God knows how many kids by now. I'd probably even have the white picket fence to go with it.

Maybe it all turned out for the best in some respects. I'm happy where I am in myself. I like my job, and I love my apartment. Most of all, I love my friends and Henry.

I don't see what's wrong with my life, other than I don't have a guy in it.

And I've been weird on the dating front my entire life, but that's probably my only major quirk. One that I'm hoping I will be able to remedy sooner rather than later; my mind flicks to Tyler and I blush. That kiss…

"Keep me posted anyway, on how your coffee date goes. Where are you going to go?"

"Oohla," I say. Just thinking about it causes the flutters in my stomach to erupt, as well as in other places. The thing I loved the most about him being there in the car that night was how big he was. The way I felt protected around him, which is absurd because I don't know him from Adam. But he has something that makes me feel safe. It's like it's automatic.

I liked having him in my space. I liked touching him and he touching me. And god, I loved those lips.

I can barely think about them without feeling it in my panties. He gets me feeling very unnerved every single time. It's almost too much being in close proximity to him. But I'll have to navigate my way through that if we're catching up for coffee.

Fake it until you make it, right?

I'm confident in every other aspect, just not around dating.

But Tyler makes me feel comfortable, and I can't wait to hear what he has to say tomorrow. I've been waiting for it all week.

"Talk to you tomorrow," Susie says before we hang up.

"Goodnight, Suse."

* * *

Things at work are like I've never been away. Andrea is buzzing around our office like no one's business.

"You're chirpy this morning," I comment, looking up from my computer with my large black framed reading glasses. Caitlin says they make me look ultra smart so that's a bonus.

"I just got some leave approved." She grins, pushing up her specs. "You know how much I've been missing things at home, my parents, namely."

Andrea is Canadian. Her parents and family live in Vancouver. "At least you don't have far to go," I chuckle.

"I know." She beams. "I'll wait until the finals are over, of course."

"You deserve a break," I say. "You've worked so hard this season."

"Says you who hasn't taken a vacation since she started working here."

I sigh and fold my arms over my chest as I sit back in my swivel chair.

"I will one of these days."

She gives me a double eyebrow waggle. She texted me yesterday saying Tyler was asking about me in the cafeteria. It was cute.

"We texted back and forth while I was off work," I say to her unasked question.

"I have to say, he seemed disappointed that you weren't at the meeting," Andrea giggles. "I told you he has it bad."

"Hardly." I haven't told her about the kiss thing, but she knows we ran into each other when Suse and I were out having dinner the other night.

"And you should have seen Simon when he came strolling up to our table in the cafeteria," she continues, laughing at the memory. "He didn't know where to look."

"Yeah, Tyler has that effect on a person," I agree.

"How are you gonna play this?" She whispers conspiratorially.

"I have no idea," I whisper back in an exaggerated tone behind the back of my hand. "Just take it as it comes, I guess."

"I'm sure it makes it more intimidating for him that his boss is technically your dad."

"Don't remind me."

"I'm sure there are ways and means around it." Andrea shrugs. "Where there's a will, there's a way."

I can't help but laugh. "No truer words spoken."

I'm itching to see him by the time I'm off work. I haven't seen him around at all during the day. Not even in the cafeteria for lunch. I know they are gearing up for the game away this week and all the team's focus is being poured into that.

I like the fact he wanted to make some time with me before he travels away, though.

That part has me smiling, and maybe it's stupid, but it makes me feel special.

I get a text from him after lunch while Andrea, Simon, and I are having a coffee break, and I can't hide the smile from my face.

They have been sworn to secrecy, of course, and I don't honestly think they would tell anyone.

I don't want it to get out from a slip of the tongue. It worries me a little. People don't always mean to rat you out, but sometimes it happens.

I assure myself nothing even is happening anyway, just two people who work for the Hawk's having coffee. It's simple.

Tyler

Hey beautiful, what time do you get off work today?

My heart flutters ridiculously at him calling me that.

I quickly type back.

Cindy

At 5. Do you want to meet up then?

I see the gray text bubble appear, and my heart quickens again, knowing he's replying.

Tyler

Sounds great. I'll see you soon

"Is that lover-boy you're beaming over?" Simon quizzes me as we fix our coffee and head back to our offices.

"Shhh," I chastise him, but I am grinning like an idiot.

"What? no one can hear," Andrea adds.

"We're not lovers!" I whisper-shout.

"It's just an expression." Simon shakes his head, chuckling.

"You seem pretty pent up about it." Andrea looks down her glasses at me and I can't help but laugh.

"Hello, this is Tyler Peterson we're talking about," I tell them as we round the corner back into our office. Simon's eyes suddenly grow wide as we all stop in short in the doorway to see my dad standing there. Simon quickly salutes his goodbye and scurries off.

"Dad!" I try not to act too startled. I really hope he didn't just hear those last few words out of my mouth.

"Hi princess, just seeing if you have five." Phew, maybe he didn't hear after all.

Andrea quickly walks back to her desk.

"What were you just saying about Tyler?" He asks, his eyebrows knitting together.

Shit. Double shit.

I think fast, not liking lying to him one bit. "Um, nothing, Dad. Just how he's more focused than ever on the finals. Everyone is talking about it."

Dad's lips press together. Satisfied with that, he walks over to my desk while Andrea puts her head down and busies herself with emails.

"What was it you were going to ask me?"

Like he just remembered why he was here, he perches on my desk and folds his arms across his chest. "I was going to ask you about a trip coming up after the finals."

"Yeah, which trip?"

"There's a charity game in Florida after the Stanley Cup is over. A couple of our players have been asked to participate, and I'd like a representative behind the scenes. Marcy can't be there. Unfortunately, she's booked in for surgery."

Marcy is the coordinator of all the team appointments, tours and P.R.

"And you want me to go?"

"I wanted to check with you first before I throw your hat into the ring. It's snapping some photos and just being a rep for the guys. Maybe a couple of press interviews."

I purse my lips together. One thing I absolutely love is photography, and I'd step in for Marcy any day of the week with their social media pages and candid stuff like that for the team.

"Sure thing." I shrug. "I'm sure Caitlin will look after Henry if I give her enough notice."

"Well, it's not for a few weeks yet, so there should be plenty of time. If Caitlin's busy, you know we can take Henry."

"Thanks, Dad. Who are the players going to Florida?" I ask, my pulse quickening in my chest. I am trying beyond hope to be cool with my dad and not act weird.

Why do I want him to say Tyler's name?

"Ashton and Taylor. Maybe Tyler, if one of them can't make it."

I feel Andrea look up at me from her monitor.

"Um, yeah. I mean, sure. Why not," I babble.

Oh god, could I be that lucky to have a charity weekend away with Tyler there? The thought of getting away from everything we know at home is quite welcoming.

It's either a pure genius stroke of luck, or completely insane and asking for trouble.

I can't quite work out which yet.

Dad claps his hands together and makes me jump. "That's great, honey. You'll be fine, the guys will take care of you. I'll get the dates from Marcy and get it booked in."

"Sounds good, Dad."

Little does he know I'm meeting up with one of his precious guys in less than an hour to have coffee with. I don't even want to think about what his opinion would be on that. Yes, he's a hard man, but he's fair in so many respects.

And he's always kept me and Caitlin on the straight and narrow, without all the religious stuff that Mom tried to ram down our throats. Dad shied away from the church after we left Buffalo.

I know he still has his beliefs, but he's not so heavily involved with it all now.

They never truly suited each other now I look at them separately.

Dad put up with it as long as he could, I guess.

"You're not going to go to Florida?" I ask Dad before he leaves. He didn't mention it, but I want to check just in case.

He shakes his head. "Nope. I've promised Angel a break right after the finals are all over. If the team makes it that far. I'm sure we will. But as soon as the season ends, I've assured her I'll give her a vacation."

"Happy wife," I chortle.

I feel Andrea look at me again. I glance at her and give her a quick shrug. I can feel she wants to laugh, the edges of a smile skirts around her lips.

"No truer words," Dad says, standing up and giving me a swift kiss on the head. "I'll see you later. Thanks, sweetheart."

"No problem, Dad."

"Good afternoon, Coach Carter," Andrea nods as he passes by and gives her a smile and a nod.

I giggle as Dad leaves. "What are you living in, mid century England?" I mock how formal she just sounded as she throws an eraser at my head, narrowly missing me.

"I got all tongue tied at what I was hearing," Andrea admits, pushing her glasses up.

"You and Tyler could be off and away on a team trip, all expenses paid!"

"He said maybe Tyler if one of the other guys couldn't make it."

"I think you should drag him along, anyway."

I push my glasses on top of my head. "Sounds way too convenient to me."

Little does anyone know, I wouldn't know what to do with Tyler if I did happen to get him alone in another city far, far away from here.

The irony is almost lost on me. Almost. There's that twinge of hope that I could excel in a situation like the one being thrust upon me.

"It has to be a sign from the universe," Andrea says, just as Simon comes scuttling back in to see what all the commotion and giggling is about.

"What is?" He perches on Andrea's desk as she runs through the entire conversation with him.

"What a stroke of luck." Simon shakes his head after she finishes. "You're practically being handed him on a golden platter."

I shake my head, sipping my coffee. "Dad said it was a ‘maybe'."

"You'll make it work," Simon says with a wink. "Take one for the team, Cinds."

I can't help but smile. At least my friends are happy and encouraging me and not telling me what a crazy, ridiculous idea it is like my subconscious is sometimes.

"Oh, I intend to," I say, with an affirmative nod. Yes, I'm all brave now, but who knows what will happen if and when this charity game even goes ahead?

Though, I'm guessing it will. There are events like this throughout the off-season.

The one in Florida is an all-stars game, and I'm pretty sure some of the local youth kids' teams get to play with the NHL stars invited to the game.

"Atta girl." Andrea fist pumps the air and we all laugh in unison.

I don't think about the consequences any of this could have on my impending future.

I know I seriously need to think about it, but for now, I just want to revel in it.

How perfectly things seem to be lining up. And yes, I may be jumping the gun, but it's obvious Tyler and I have a spark. Would it be the end of the world to explore that spark a little more closely?

Surely it couldn't hurt to just see?

And if things didn't work out, or it was just too risky, we could go our separate ways.

No harm done.

I don't see what could be so hard about that.

I glance at my watch. 4.30. I guess I'm about to find out very soon.

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