37. Erin

Chapter thirty-seven

Erin

I’ve been running most of my life.

When my mother and father died, I ran from the pain, drowning it in whatever I could so that I wouldn’t have to feel. I filled my days with study, working until I fell into a deep sleep. With a heart of stone, I’d smiled until the mask felt real. I chased the goal post, and I kept moving it, chasing it harder.

I ran from connections with others. I ran from meaningful relationships with people. I used to think that they were afraid of my designation, my job, and myself. I set myself up as different.

Until I came to Twin Rivers. Until an omega got on the bus and ripped my world out from under me.

Now, after finally slowing down, I’m running again.

The pavement is hard under my sandals, but I barely feel it. All I can do is watch as Locke turns in her arms. That snake. I’ve seen her around, I didn’t recognise her. No one would have. Purple hair, watching us for weeks, spying, right there in our midst. I’ll slaughter her.

Why is he turning? What is he doing?

But I’m focused on running, the dress of my skirt fanning out behind me. All I can see is forward. I refuse to look back.

What will you do? The question thunders into my mind. The question comes to me in my aunt’s voice. In Finn’s voice. Bray asks me. Shane asks me, and finally, I hear Locke say it.

What will you do, Erin? How far will you go?

They’re talking, but I’m too far away, I know I am. I won’t be able to get close enough. I can’t hear the words, but I feel his resignation. I can feel his resolve growing, the sorrow, the longing, the intense grief.

I catch movement and tear my eyes from Locke and the dark figure that is behind him. Bray is racing towards them, his eyes focused on Locke. He’s closer than I am. Perhaps he can…

No! Wait! What’s happening?

LOCKE! NO!

I let out a wild scream. I don’t even have the ability to find words.

He’s moving, sidestepping fast, dragging the woman with him, and then he’s falling over it.

Falling. Into the river.

It’s freezing.

I scream louder.

Locke disappears from view.

Bray glances up and meets my eyes. One despair-filled look.

Then he dives over, head first over the bridge. Following our omega.

I don’t even have the air to scream a third time. My lungs are aching, I have a stitch. Everything hurts, but worse is seeing Locke, and now Bray, disappear over the bridge.

I run. But the night is cold, and I’m alone again.

I run faster than I ever have, and when I get to the bridge and peer over, all I can see is ripples. The banks are dark, frosted slopes. The water is midnight. I remember the game where they went in that water and it was so cold it made grown men shriek.

My gasps are loud in the silence. It seems forever ago Locke fell and just moments ago, too. How did he disappear so fast? Did I take too long? Oh, god, what do I do?

I lean over further when someone breaks the surface of the water. The concrete is cold under my hands. Who is it? Who? Who?

It’s Bray, he scrapes his wet hair back and turns in a circle, searching wildly.

He’s okay. He’s alive.

I put a hand to my chest, feeling my heart pound. But I can still feel Locke. He’s not dead. I would know, but the bond is alive. Quiet but alive.

Where is he?

I scan the black water and the banks. I think I see something.

“brAY! OVER THERE!”

I hear a noise and turn. They’re running, led by Shane and Finn. The town is running.

I glance back at the inky water where Bray and Locke have vanished.

We’re coming, I promise.