8. Elias

She’s beggingfor me to fuck her, and I can’t resist. To hear the words coming from her mouth as I kiss every inch of her body is my undoing.

I would give anything to strip down naked, lie down, and press my body to hers, but I don’t dare. I know if I did, I would ruin this for her. She would see all my scars and wouldn’t be able to look at me without pity, and that’s the last thing I want.

I pull her to the edge of the bed, undo my pants, and pull my cock out. I grip myself tightly and stroke from root to tip. I line myself up at her entrance and slowly enter her, giving her time to adjust to me. I watch as my cock enters her tight channel, and the urge to thrust is overwhelming.

“Look at me,” she demands.

I can’t give her what she wants and take my clothes off, but I can do this. I lift my eyes and gaze into hers. She’s clutching the bed covers, and when I slam into her, her eyes widen, and a guttural moan escapes her mouth. “Yes!”

I watch her as I thrust in and out, and at some point, it goes from just looking at her to looking into her very soul. She’s baring herself to me, and I see everything in the way she looks at me and meets me thrust for thrust.

Emotions war inside me, but I can’t look away.

She’s offering herself up to me completely without any strings and expects nothing in return. I want more. God knows I want more, but I won’t ask her for it. There’s no way I’d put her in that position.

She bends her knees to her chest, taking me deeper. She groans, and I about come right then. How in the world am I supposed to survive this when she’s taking me so well and looking at me the way she is?

At one point, looking into her eyes becomes too intense. I’m going to confess everything to her, tell her how I haven’t stopped thinking about her in five years. How being apart from her has about killed me, and I’d give anything for her to be mine. It’s on the very tip of my tongue to admit it all to her when I force myself to pull out.

She’s up on her elbows in an instant. “Elias!”

I grab her leg and help flip her onto her stomach. I know I’m an ass, but I don’t trust myself to look into her eyes while I fuck her. I’ll tell her everything if I do.

I pull her to the edge of the bed, push down on her upper back and pull her hips up, line myself up, and pummel into her in one swift thrust. I bottom out inside her, and she starts to convulse around me. But I don’t stop.

Over and over, I move in and out, going as deep as I can, and she moves up the bed.

She moans with each thrust, and I hold onto her hips as I drive into her.

“I can’t. I can’t,” she moans.

I reach around to strum my finger along her clit. “One more. Just give me one more, Chloe.”

Her pussy floods, and the heat coming off her is intense. Her orgasm has her clamping down on me, and she reaches down between her legs. When her fingers touch my balls and she squeezes me, I lose all control. There’s no holding back as I bury my cock deep into her honeyed depths and paint her insides with my cum.

She moans, but I don’t stop. With a firm grip on her hips, I pump into her, wanting her to take every drop.

The orgasm is primal and all-consuming as it wracks through my body.

My heart is like thunder in my chest, and I lie forward to try and catch my breath.

I’m panting as I lean over her. Her body is shaking from exertion, and we lie like this until our breathing starts to even out. I move up onto my hands to hold my weight, and she reaches for me, grabbing on to my jean-covered legs and trying to hold me in place. “No, stay. Please, just like this. Just for a minute.”

I lay my forehead on her back between her shoulder blades. I don’t have to ask her or say anything because I know how she’s feeling. I don’t want this to be over. I don’t want it to end.

With a heartfelt sigh, I kiss her back and push myself up. “I need to clean you up.”

I pull out of her, but I don’t walk away. From this angle, I can see my cum dripping from her cunt, and I fight the urge to push it back in. Fuck, I didn’t even think about birth control.

I put my hand on her ass. “Stay right here. I’ll be right back.”

I don’t bother cleaning myself up; I just tuck my dick in my pants and zip up, leaving the top button of my jeans undone.

I walk into the bathroom and turn on the faucet and then search for a washcloth. As I put it under the warm spray, I look at myself in the mirror.

For the first time in a long time, it’s not the scars on my face that I see. My eyes look lighter, my face more relaxed, and by the tilt of my lips, I look happier than I normally do.

I squeeze out the excess water on the cloth and then make my way to the bedroom. She’s in the same position, and I smile as she looks at me over her shoulder. There’s exhaustion on her face, but she smiles. “I know this isn’t the best look. I’m a mess.”

I run my hand across her bare ass as I start to clean her up. “I don’t know. I think you look good a mess. Especially with my cum dripping from you.”

She tenses as I finish, and I ask her, “What is it? What’s wrong?”

She stands up, without looking at me. “Nothing. Nothing’s wrong. I think I’m going to take a quick shower. Want to join me?”

She’s staring at my shirt and frowning, knowing how I’m going to answer her. “Nah, I better head out.”

Her frown deepens, and she shakes her head. “Oh sure, yeah, no worries. Uh, thanks… for everything.”

I should walk away, but all I can do is stand here and stare at her. “Chloe…”

She won’t look at me. She’s looking over my shoulder and biting her lip. When I don’t continue, she shakes her head. “I’m fine, Elias. I know what this is. I asked for sex, and you gave it to me. I’m not reading more into it than what it is.”

“But—” I start, and she interrupts me by holding her hand up.

“Seriously, I better shower and get to bed.” She looks down at herself. “Forgive me for not walking you out, I’m not really dressed for it. I’ll see you around, Elias.”

She walks away mid-sentence, and as soon as she says my name, she closes the bathroom door between us.

Instantly, I jam my hand through my hair and mutter, “Fuck.”

I fucked that up. I couldn’t have fucked it up any more if I tried.

I walk over to the bathroom door and put my hand on the knob. I’m about to turn the handle when I stop and suck in a breath. I clench my eyes and shake my head. On one hand, I want to barge in, rip off my clothes, and show her every vulnerable part about me. The other side of me knows that leaving now is the best thing to do. Chloe deserves more than I have to offer. I should just be grateful she gave me one night. I grip on to the handle a little tighter, fighting the urge to open the door and confess everything to her.

I shake my head and release the door knob and turn on my heel.

I stalk through her house and out the front door, making sure to lock it on my way out. I jump off her porch and practically run off her property without looking back. Because I know if I do, I won’t be able to walk away. Not again.