5. Chloe

For the last week,I’ve looked over my shoulder everywhere I go. I’ve held my breath in anticipation of seeing Elias again, but I haven’t caught one glance of him. He’s not come around, I’m sure of it. It seems my body is completely attuned to him, and it knows he’s not been anywhere close to me, so of course I’ve started to regret confronting him last week.

Maybe if I’d just let it go, he would still be turning up.

I let out a sigh without even thinking about it. I should be focusing. I love when we meet for book club, and tonight we’re discussing Kat Baxter’s Awaken My Heart. I was so looking forward to this story, and it didn’t disappoint.

I’m drawn from my own self-pity with Olivia’s exclamation.

“Come on, you guys! It’s been fifteen years. It’s time that Daddy Whitmore got laid.”

Abby is the first to react. “Olivia! Can you be any louder?” She’s looking around with her cheeks crimson. “I mean come on. Do you have to scream it out for the whole town to hear?”

Olivia just laughs. “It’s all in good fun. So what did you guys think about the book?”

“I loved how much he loved his wife,” Abby says.

Emerson chimes in, “Yeah, but he deserved his happily ever after.” And she leans in, making her voice a lot quieter than Olivia’s. “And yeah, fifteen years is crazy when you think about it, but it just makes the whole love story better.”

“Five stars!” Olivia exclaims.

“Agree,” Abby and Emerson chime in.

Olivia turns to me. “What about you, Chloe?”

I can’t look any of them in the eye. “It was a great love story.”

Abby tilts her head. “But? I hear a but in there, right?”

“No, I mean it was perfect. It was beautiful and a really good heartfelt book.”

All three of them are staring at me, and I start to ramble. “I just… I don’t know. Do people really get their happily ever afters? I mean, I know it’s fiction, but I’m just wondering I guess, why can’t that happen in real life?”

My eyes widen when I realize what I just said, and I put my palm to my forehead. “Shit, that was dumb. Of course, it happens. Look at you guys. You all found the one. Maybe—” I shrug. “Maybe it’s just not meant to happen for me.” I wave my hand in front of my face. “Forget it. I’m being all emotional, ignore me. I loved the book. I’ll probably read it again.”

I’m hoping that they move on, but Olivia gives me a look, and I know she’s not going to let it go. “What’s up with you?”

We’re sitting at the Whiskey Whistler for our book club meeting, and Olivia, Abby, and Emerson are all staring at me. “Nothing,” I mutter.

Olivia barks out a laugh. “Yeah, pull the other one. What’s up, really?” She holds her hand up. “And don’t try to feed me any bull crap because I see right through it. Something is bothering you.”

“I… uh, nothing is wrong with me,” I lie, looking straight into her eyes. I’m a horrible liar.

She looks as if she’s going to question me further, and I shake my head. “Forget it, really. It’s been a long week, and this book just hit me in all the feels, that’s all.”

I stand up. “All right, next round is on me. What’s everyone having?”

I wait for them to tell me their orders and then I go to the bar. I could have waited for the server to come, but I needed to take a breath. When I get back to the table and hand out the drinks, I sit down and start sipping on my white wine.

The conversation continues around me, and I try to jump in so I don’t have to answer any more questions about what’s wrong with me.

The longer the booze flows, the louder the girls get, and before long, I’m genuinely laughing with them. When Emerson and Olivia go to the ladies room, I take the opportunity to talk to Abby. “Can I ask you something?”

She smiles. “Of course you can. What is it?”

I try to act nonchalant even though it’s the last thing I’m feeling. “You know Elias? Davis’ friend?”

Her eyebrows lift. “Elias?”

I really try to act like me asking about him is not a big deal. “Yeah, they uh, served together, right?”

“They did.” She gasps. “Oh, Chloe, no. You’re not interested in him, are you?”

The way her nose is scrunched up, it’s obvious she thinks it’s a bad idea. I’m quick to reply, “I’m just wondering what happened to him, that’s all.”

She tilts her head and levels me with a look. “You mean the scars? He’s a hero, Chloe.”

I hold my hands up. “I know he is. I’m messing this up. I’m not trying to gossip or anything. I’m just wondering about him, that’s all. Just… is he okay?”

She lays her arms on the table between us. “Are you interested in him?”

I shrug. “Am I interested in knowing if he’s okay? Yes, I am.”

“Uh, yeah, he’s okay. I mean, I only really talk to him when the guys are all around or something. He’s quiet and doesn’t say a lot. Davis said he’s always been that way but even more so since the bomb.”

I nod, wanting her to keep talking, and she doesn’t disappoint me. “He was there when Davis hurt his leg, Kanan hurt his arm, and Jason lost his sight. Their friend Randall died.”

My stomach turns thinking that it could have been Elias. What if something had happened to him? Obviously something tragic did, but it could have been worse. What if he never came back to Whiskey Run?

Abby shakes her head, and I realize now that all of this makes her think about her husband and everything he went through. “Anyway,” she says with a big breath. “Elias is a good guy. I just don’t think he’s someone you should get too attached to, that’s all.”

I shift in my seat, and there’s no way I’m not asking. “Why not?”

She looks around the room and back at me. “Well, I just don’t think it would be a good idea, and I don’t want to see you hurt, that’s all.”

I tense up. “But why?”

She shrugs. “I really don’t know all the details, but I’ve asked Davis about him before. I guess there’s a woman. Or there was, I’m not really sure. He has a picture in his wallet, and Davis said any time they had down time on missions, he was looking at the picture. Davis said no one knows anything, and Elias has never talked about it, but obviously there’s a woman that he’s in love with. That’s the only thing I can figure.”

She starts to ramble on about how she doesn’t want me hurt, but all I can do is think about Elias and wonder if there really is a woman he loves out there.

Emerson and Olivia make their way back to the table, and book club continues. I’m still sipping on the same glass of white wine when I feel the shift in the room. My whole body starts to tingle, the hair on the back of my neck rises, and the dead giveaway is that my nipples pebble. Yep, even if he’s not here to see me, my body knows that Elias is in the building.

I force a laugh out at something Olivia said and then take a peek around the room. Almost instantly, I see Elias seated at a table with his back against the wall. His eyes are glued to me, and I can’t look away from him.

All these times he’s followed me and not said a word, I’ve tried to figure him out. But after my talk with Abby, I’m wondering if I could have been looking at it wrong. I put my chin on the palm of my hand and really look at him. Could I be the woman in the picture that he carries in his wallet? There’s only one way to find out.