20. Elias

The poundingon the door is like a hammer against my temples. I raise my head, and the papers that were covering my desk are stuck to my face and arms. I unpeel them and lay them back down just as the knocking sounds again.

I stumble out of my office and to the front door, and as soon as I see Davis standing on the other side, I leave the door open and head to the kitchen. Coffee. I need coffee.

I haven’t slept in over forty-eight hours, and before that, I didn’t sleep much either. I was up most of the night with Chloe, but I was fine missing sleep for her.

“To what do I owe the honor of this visit?”

Davis comes in, turns my table chair around, and straddles it. “You look like shit.”

I get the coffee machine going and cross my arms as I lean back against the kitchen counter. “Yeah, thanks. I sure appreciate that. Now, did you need something or did you just think you’d come over to harass me?”

“I came to congratulate you, that’s what.”

I blow out a breath. All the guys give each other shit, and I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s some kind of prank or some bullshit going on right now. “Oh yeah?” I drone on, sounding bored. “Congratulate me for what?”

He opens his mouth and closes it, and that gets my attention. Davis is never speechless. Especially when it comes to busting someone”s balls.

“Congratulate me for what?” I ask again.

He tilts his head. “Why do you look like shit?”

I look at the coffee pot impatiently. I really should have gotten one of those quick one cup coffee makers because I need it right now. “Because I’ve been working for the last forty-eight hours, and I’m almost delirious over the lack of sleep. So what’s up? Can we do this later?”

Davis’ eyes get huge, and he runs his hands through his hair. “So you haven’t talked to Chloe?”

That makes me alert, and I go from leaning on the counter to standing straight up, ready to pounce. “No, I haven’t talked to her. Why?”

Davis starts to pace, and I follow behind him into the living room. “Fuck.” And if that’s not enough, he says it again a little louder. “Fuck.”

“Is Chloe okay? What is it?” I ask frantically.

He turns to me wide-eyed. “She’s fine.” He blows out a big breath and holds his hands up. “Okay, so this is good. Who knows how you’re going to react, so this is good. I’ll tell you and—”

I cut him off. “What the fuck, Davis?” I walk over to him and get in his face. “Tell me what the hell is going on.”

“Sit down.”

I raise my hand over my head. “I’ve had it up to here. Now tell me—”

He cuts me off again. “Trust me, you’re going to want to sit down when you hear this.”

I sit down on the edge of the couch. “Okay. I’m sitting.”

He sits down across from me. “Chloe is pregnant.”

He barely gets the words out and I bolt to my feet. “What? She’s pregnant? But—” I start, ready to say that we used condoms, and then I remembered the first time I walked her home. The night she found out about the picture in my wallet and we had sex that night without anything.

Davis is looking at me worriedly. “I mean, maybe it’s not—”

I put my hands against his chest. “Don’t finish that sentence. The baby is mine.” When he nods his head, I start to pace. “How do you even know this and why didn’t she tell me?”

“She passed out at the gym the day before yesterday.. It was a whole thing but—”

I stop pacing. “She passed out?”

He waves his hand. “Yeah, but she’s fine. Natalie was with her, and Abby went to check on her last night. I just assumed you knew.”

I shake my head, trying to figure out what this all means. Why wouldn’t she tell me? I go to grab my phone, and there are not any missed calls and there are not any text messages from her..

“I have to go.”

Davis blocks my path. ‘You can’t drive like this… and you need a shower.”

“Fuck!” I know he’s right. “Give me five minutes. Can you drive me into town?”

“Sure thing.”

I shower, and by the time I get out and am walking out the front door, Davis is handing me a coffee in the travel mug. It’s not until we’re halfway into town that I put voice to my thoughts. “Look at me, Davis. I shouldn’t be anyone’s dad.”

Davis doesn’t get outraged or even try to argue with me. “I’m not sure I would lead with that when you go in there.”

I look out the window and watch as we pass through the small town. “Why didn’t she call me… why didn’t she tell me?”

Davis stops at a red light and looks at me. “I don’t know, but if you’re still saying she’s the one, then you better figure this shit out, Elias. Have you told her how you feel about her?”

I think back on the last few weeks and I know I fucked up. “Shit. She told me she loved me and I said nothing—”

Davis looks at me as if I’ve grown two heads before pushing on the gas when the light turns green. I don’t need him to tell me what a dumbass I am because I already know.

I pick up my phone and make the call I should have made as soon as I hooked up with Chloe. My boss answers on the first ring. “Hey, Elias, I’ve been expecting your call. I hear congratulations are in order.”

I pull the phone from my ear and look at it. Does everyone fuckin’ know that Chloe’s pregnant? “Yeah, hey, Walker, I was hoping I could schedule a time to come in and talk to you about my position.”

“You’re not quitting,” he commands.

I nod. “I don’t want to quit… but I do want to solely work from Whiskey Run. I understand there’s some things I may have to travel for, but I hope you understand… I need to stay put.”

“Done.”

Shocked is putting it lightly. “Done? That’s it?”

Walker chuckles into the phone. “Yes, I”ve talked to Dr. Kline, and she says you’ve made great progress and your work last night proves you’re irreplaceable. We need you… and I’m okay if you want to stay near your family. You’ve earned that right, Elias.”

Every part of what he says overwhelms me, but mostly when he mentions my family. “Thank you, sir.”

“Sure thing. So let us know if you and Chloe need anything. The first trimester is hard, so make sure you spoil her. Trust me on this, I know what I’m talking about.”

“Got it,” I tell him before we say goodbye.

I’m speechless as we get closer to Chloe’s.

“Wow,” Davis says, and I nod my head in agreement. Walker’s known as a good guy, but I had expected some kind of argument about wanting to cut out traveling for missions.

Now that I have that fixed, hopefully I can focus on what I need to do.

When Davis pulls onto the main street in town, my pulse picks up. We pass by the gym, and all the lights are off already, so I’m assuming Chloe’s home. “Any last-minute advice?”

He pulls up to the curb of her house. “Yeah, tell her how you feel.”

I get out of the truck, thank Davis for the ride, and as I’m walking up the walkway, I hear him holler, “Good luck!”

I stride up the steps to her house and knock on the door. I hear her walking around, and when she opens the door, I lose all train of thought. She looks at me worriedly as she leans against the open door. With no emotion whatsoever, she says my name. “Elias.”

I am fighting with myself not to touch her. “Can I come in?”

She almost looks as if she’s going to say no, and I’m ready to argue with her, but she steps to the side and waves her hand toward the inside of her house. “Sure.”

I walk in and stand awkwardly in the living room. “You doing okay?” I ask her.

She crosses her arms over her chest. “You know, don’t you?”

“Davis just told me.”

She purses her lips and nods her head. “Yeah, the whole town knows, it seems.”

There’s no hiding the hurt in my voice. “Except me. I didn’t know… you didn’t tell me.”

She wraps her arms around herself as she walks over to the couch. She sits down, drawing her legs up under her. “Have a seat. I’d say we have a lot to talk about.”

She gestures to the chair across from her, but that’s not going to work for me. I sit on the couch cushion right next to her. “I should have—”

“I can do this—”

We both start talking at the same time, and when we both break off, I gesture to her. “You go first.”

She bites on to her lower lip. “I was just going to say that I can do this on my own. I know this wasn’t something you had planned on, and you can be involved as much or as little as you want to be.”

Dumbfounded, I sit back. There’s a pain in my chest like nothing I’ve felt before. She has to know that I’m going to be involved. “What do you want, Chloe?”

She juts her chin at me and blinks her big eyes at me. “I want you to be happy.”

I see the truth in her words, and it pains me to know that she’d literally do anything for my happiness. “Okay.”

She rears back, searching my face. “Okay? That’s it? What does that mean?”

I’m still holding back and not reaching for her even though that’s exactly what I want to do. “That means I’m going to do what makes me happy.”

I move to sit on the coffee table in front of her, positioning her knees between the two of mine. I put my hand on her thighs trying not to hold her too hard. “Ask me.”

She blinks up at me, and it takes everything in me not to kiss her right now. “Ask me what makes me happy.”

She sits up a little taller and asks me softly, “What makes you happy?”

I lean forward as she looks at me as if she has no idea what I’m going to say. “You do. You make me happy.”

She rolls her eyes and tries to get up, but I hold on to her, afraid if she moves away from me, I’ll lose any chance of convincing her we could be good together. “Please, hear me out.”

She sits back down and scoots to the back of the couch, putting some distance between us. As she juts her chin at me, she snaps, “I’m listening.”

“Five years ago, I fell in love with you. I know I’ve made mistakes, and maybe I didn’t handle things the right way all the time, but when I thought I was dying… when I thought I didn’t want to live another day, you’re the reason I survived, Chloe.”

“But…”

I shake my head. “There’s no buts. Every day I looked at that picture of you and did my best to become the man that deserved you. I’m not, though. I know I don’t deserve you, but I can”t let you go, baby. Not again.”

She twists her hands together in her lap. “I’m pregnant, Elias.”

I nod and tilt my head. “I know. Are you not happy about it?”

I hold my breath, waiting for her to answer. Maybe she doesn’t want a child, or maybe it’s just she doesn’t want my child. The thought swirls around in my head until I feel dizzy from it. “Talk to me.”

“I couldn’t imagine having a child with anyone else, but…”

I want to reach for her, but I’m not going to push her. “But what?”

She tilts her head to the side and stares at me. “Where do I start?”

I clear my throat because I’m half afraid of what she’s going to say. “All of it. I want to hear whatever you have to say.”

She purses her lips, and I can see her thinking. “Okay, well for starters, I haven’t heard from you in two days… I thought for sure you knew I was pregnant, and you…”

Her voice trails off, and I can’t hold back any longer. “I didn’t know you were pregnant until probably thirty minutes ago. I told you that I had work to do and didn’t know how long it would take. I’ve been up for forty-eight hours.” I hold my hands up. “But that’s on me. In my line of work, I get completely focused on what I’m doing. I should have called you and checked on you.”

She is shaking her head. “I don’t mean it like that. I know you were busy, and I know that what you do is important. I was just all up in my head about it. I thought… I thought you didn’t want the baby.”

I rear back. “Didn’t want the baby? Chloe! I want this baby.”

She nods, and a single tear rolls down her cheek. “Okay. Okay, that’s good because I’m keeping her.”

“Of course you are. I never would have thought otherwise. This baby is a part of us.” I put my hand against her flat stomach. “A part of you… how could I not love him or her?”

She puts her hand over mine. “Okay. This doesn’t have to change anything. I know you have your career and it’s important to you—”

I move to sit next to her and pull her onto my lap. “What is important to me, is you.”

She leans her head against my chest. “Elias, let’s just keep things the way they are. I don’t want to pressure you into saying anything or doing anything… I don’t want you to be with me because of your sense of responsibility.”

“Chloe.”

She doesn’t let me talk, though. “No, seriously. You’re a good man, Elias, and I don’t want…”

I tilt her chin up so she has to look at me. “Listen to me, Chloe. I love you. I should have said it the other day. Hell, I should have said the words to you five years ago. I kept telling myself that I didn’t deserve you… that you needed a better man than me—”

“Quit saying that… there’s not a better man than you.”

I cup her jaw and look at her with amazement. “You truly believe that, don’t you?”

She nods. “Of course, I do.”

“Marry me, Chloe.”

She starts to shake her head, and I start to ramble. “Marry me and make me the happiest man on earth. I promise I will do everything I can to be the man you deserve.”

“Elias… this is a lot. You just found out we’re having a baby… you haven’t slept. We don’t have to rush anything.”