Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR

"You want to fill out your captain's log even when anchored. I record the wind speed and direction, fuel, update my supply list and food and alcohol rations, and the weather."

I leaned over Mattie's shoulder, breathing in his coconut-scented sunblock. His skin was tanned gorgeously. I loved he was almost my height. Try as I might to remain neutral, I couldn't help but notice how attractive he was. Dark hair cut shorter, dark eyes, solid build with a hint of muscle. My nephew was fucking hot. He was lazy about shaving, and his jaw was covered with a dark scruff that made him look more mature than his nineteen years.

"I can do that for you if you want."

"Yeah? I'd appreciate that."

I was learning the ins and outs of Matteo's personality. He had claws, but they were painted pink. Basically, he was all bark and no bite. I still hadn't learned the whys, but I sensed I was getting closer to the answers.

He picked up the binoculars from the console and scanned the horizon.

"Thought you said you were sweet on him."

His gaze had come to rest on the couple standing on the bow, locked in a passionate embrace—Nicky and Cass.

"I didn't say I was the only one."

Mattie lowered the binoculars with a gasp. "So, both of you? That little boy takes on both of you?"

I laughed at his gaping jaw. "Are you judging or are you impressed?"

"Honestly? I think I'm impressed. He doesn't seem like the type."

"Like I said, maybe you should get to know him. Seems to me like you're a few friends short of a social circle."

"I don't want a social circle," he sniped, raising the binoculars. He continued to spy on them, and my gaze dropped to his groin. I couldn't help it; it was the most honest response I'd get from him. Matteo didn't disappoint. He was growing thicker beneath his khaki shorts. Seemed he liked the idea of the three of us together.

Was he attracted to guys? It wasn't something I'd considered before, but would certainly explain his attitude and hostility toward Nicky .

Interesting . Time to poke the hornets' nest.

"You ever try something like that?" My tone couldn't have sounded more casual.

Mattie snorted. "Yeah right, I wis—" he dropped the binoculars and glared at me. Busted . "I'm not gay, fuckhead."

I get that he was barking at me to cover his insecurities, but disrespect wasn't something I'd tolerate from him. Leaning on the console, I said offhandedly, "You can drop the dude bro act. You've already played your hand. On this boat, ain't nothing wrong with being gay, and if you think there is, you're on the wrong fucking boat." I pinned him hard with my gaze. "And if you ever call me a fuckhead again, your ass will be swimming back to shore, got it?"

His throat worked quickly, and he nodded. "Sorry," he mumbled.

Nicky and Mattie finally emerged from below deck, ready for a night at the club.

Cass laughed. "You've been Nicky-fied," he observed, looking Mattie over.

His black shorts were short and tight, and his white linen button-down shirt hung open, his toned and tanned chest glistening with tanning oil even though the moon was out. Nicky was dressed in similarly fitting shorts but in white, and he'd paired it with a white crop top. But unlike Mattie, his body oil had glitter in it.

"He let me dress him up. And look, matching necklaces!" He turned to Matteo. "These get you half-price drinks until midnight!"

Mattie touched his necklace, his face scrunching with confusion. "How come?"

"Means you like boys," Nicky whispered loudly. "Draws a crowd of tops who spend money at the bar getting us drunk."

He giggled, oblivious to Matteo's rising anger. But I felt it charge the air, like a storm brewing.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" he spat, focusing his rage on me.

His dark eyes flashed like bolts of lightning. It was the worst, most inappropriate moment to get turned on.

Nicky was quick to smooth things over. "It doesn't have to mean you like to suck dick. It could just mean friendship. Are you so against having friends? Or is it just having friends who like to suck dick?"

Damn, my little spitfire was holding his own. What a show.

"No, it's just. I didn't say…" Mattie sputtered.

Cass slid his arm around Nicky's waist, and I jumped into the fray. "Didn't say what? That you don't like to suck dick? "

His anger returned. "Those are your words, not mine."

"I still haven't heard you say no."

"Fuck off."

Quick as lightning, I lunged for him, catching Mattie around the throat. "Still haven't said no," I growled in his ear. My breath trailed hot down his neck. "Don't worry, I hear you loud and clear. Just don't take it out on Nicky."

It didn't go unnoticed that when we walked into The Grotto, Mattie still wore the damn necklace.

"No fucking way," Mattie bellowed. "This place looks like an outdoor cave!"

"Isn't it cool?" Nicky seconded, clearly already over Mattie's earlier outburst.

My sweet boy.

Mattie touched his necklace. "Half-price drinks, huh?"

"Yup. But don't bite the hand that feeds you," Nicky quipped, referring to men buying him drinks. "The legal drinking age here is eighteen."

"Fuck yeah. "

I shook my head, watching him slink away, but I kept my eyes peeled. I wasn't letting his troublesome ass out of my sight. It wasn't like I had much else to do. Since solidifying my arrangement with Nicky and Cass, and deciding to forego using condoms, I'd agreed not to take other partners. Really, I didn't miss it, not even a little. Not only was hooking up exhausting, but the older I got, the less satisfying it became. Nicky and Cass more than met my needs and Nicky always kept things fresh and fun.

The music pulsed in my ears and vibrated in my blood, and I got lost in the rhythm, pulling Nicky close to grind against my dick. Cass covered him from behind and the boy was in his glory, sandwiched between us, shimmying his slender body to the beat.

We were outside by the ancient cave ruins, and I caught a glimpse of Mattie dancing with a guy about his age. My eyes stayed on him as he danced—a little too close for my comfort. With each drink I watched him consume, he danced closer, allowing his partner's wandering hands more access to his sweaty body.

Perfect fucking timing to discover his bi-curiousness. Jeez.

Two hours later, I watched him disappear inside the caves. I'm sure he thought he was being discreet, but I didn't miss a thing. I followed him and his partner to the darkest, most remote corner, near what was left of the waterfall. My dick twitched as they locked lips. They were a heated tangle of exploring hands and tongues. Mattie didn't pull away when the guy palmed his cock. I rubbed my own, relieving some of the mounting pressure.

His eyes found me, filled with heat and hunger. His gaze dropped to my hand stroking my cock through my shorts.

He fucking wanted it. Me . He wanted me .

There were several times I'd picked up on the current between us, but figured it was just the anger talking. Apparently not.

He allowed the guy to slip his hand inside his shorts while devouring his long corded neck, sucking bruising kisses into his skin. My lip curled at the possessiveness of the gesture. He was fucking marking Mattie. My Mattie.

Not yours , I reminded myself with a mental shake.

But I was responsible for him, and I didn't like to see people fucking with my shit.

Mattie continued to eye fuck me while letting his partner's mouth travel down his torso. How far was he going to take this? Was he playing a game of chicken with me?

I was sorely tempted to let him learn his lesson the hard way because he was a brat, and that's how brats learned best.

When the guy tugged on Mattie's shorts, exposing the head of his cock, I saw fucking red, and still, I held back. My erection faded quickly in the face of my anger, but I held my ground, watching like the worst kind of voyeur.

Just before his lips closed around the head of Mattie's cock, he pushed against the guy's head and tugged his shorts higher.

Fuck, finally!

Mattie stalked past me with a glare, shooting daggers at me, and I followed him out of the club and down the beach.

"Mattie!" He ignored me, and I picked up my pace, falling into a jog as I called after him. "Stop, Mattie!"

"Fuck off!"

I caught him by the shoulder, spinning him around. "You didn't have to stop on my account," I challenged.

"I didn't! What the hell kind of sick fuck are you that you get off on watching?"

"That's a whole other conversation you're not ready for. But I did not enjoy watching you with him." He scoffed and rolled his eyes. "I don't think you enjoyed it either."

"How do you know?"

I called his bluff. "Well, did you? ‘Cause usually when I'm enjoying myself, I don't stop. No matter who's watching."

"I was enjoying it. He was hot. But then I…" He looked away, shaking his head.

"You know what your problem is?"

"I bet you do," Mattie huffed. "You have all the answers, oh wise sex god of the seas."

My shoulders shook with silent laughter. "Nice. I might get that on a keychain." Mattie turned on his heel and started down the beach. I caught his arm and squeezed hard, digging my fingertips into his biceps. "I don't claim to have all the answers, but I got a few more than you do. That's why you're here, so I could teach you a thing or two this summer. Help you get your head out of your ass."

His eyes flashed with challenge. "Is that what you want to do with my ass?"

"Don't push me, Mattie. I don't think that's what your parents had in mind."

"Neither do I," he laughed.

"You've always got this chip on your shoulder, always looking backward. That's no way to live."

He pulled free of my grasp, crossing his arms over his bare chest. "And why do you think I carry such a big chip? Where do you think the anger comes from?"

"I don't know, you tell me."

Mattie scoffed. "Thought you had all the answers."

"I might have a couple of guesses, but it's pointless if you don't come to the realization yourself."

He tried to turn away, but I latched on again, holding him in place.

"Don't touch me!" His eyes burned with ire, his breathing harsh.

"Just drop your fucking attitude! It's okay for that guy to touch you, but not me?"

"Is that what you want, then? Do you want to touch me? Go ahead and touch me."

I was beginning to understand. He wanted me to make the first move, to spell it out for him so he didn't have to say it aloud. Not a fucking chance.

"Is that what you want, Mattie? ‘Cause I'm sure that guy is still available. "

He made a noise, like a plea, but it fell on deaf ears. Mattie took a step closer, his gaze dropping to my lips. The little brat was going to try to kiss me? Fuck no. I took a step backward, letting him chase me.

"Sam, I am dying to touch you." Another step backward. He closed the distance. "What about you?"

"Oh, now you want me to touch you? I'm so angry at you that you may not like the way I touch you."

"Try me." His breath was husky, and he licked his bottom lip, making my dick take notice.

"You know what I think? I think you're just confused."

"About what?"

"About what the fuck you want. You see other people having a good time and you want it. You know you do, but you just won't let yourself have it. Why is that? What are you so afraid of?"

"Not you," he sulked.

"No?" Taking his chin between my fingers, I slid my thumb across his wet bottom lip, making them part for me. His response was immediate, and I could read the heat in his eyes. "That doesn't scare you?" His throat bobbed as he swallowed hard. "I think you're angry because you know exactly what you want, but you're afraid to ask for it."

"Who says?"

"Prove it," I dared. "Ask me."

"You're my fucking uncle." He pushed me away.

The little fucking brat chickened out. "Oh, now I'm your uncle. How convenient." Mattie backed away before spinning around. "You look like a scared little boy running from a fight."

He turned around, spitting mad and breathing fire. "I'm not afraid to fight you!"

"Not me, Mattie. You're not fighting me. You're fighting against yourself. It's ironic," I laughed. "You sit in judgment of Nicky, pretend like you don't understand him or like him, but really, you're just envious."

"Of him? How?"

"Because he may be this tiny little boy, but he's so brave and strong, and he's not afraid to ask for what he wants. He was never afraid to ask for what he wanted." His eyes filled with tears, which caught me off guard. I gentled my tone. "Who knows, if you spent more time with him, you might learn a thing or two."

This time, it was me that turned away, intending to leave his ass there.

"Sam," he called.

I stopped but didn't turn back. But when the silence continued, I glanced back over my shoulder to see Mattie slumped down in the sand, his elbows braced on his knees with his head hanging sadly.

Fuck.

I dropped beside him in the sand, but remained silent, giving him the space he needed to find his voice.

Finally, he said brokenly, "It's my dad. He's a fucking asshole."

That explained everything. It all made sense now— his attitude, his instant dislike of Nicky who was obviously gay, acting out at work and getting fired—I had a dad like his, and I knew that anger intimately.

Taking a deep breath, I slid my arm around his shoulders, pulling him into my side. He came willingly.

"The most important thing I can teach you this summer is how to live your own life. Fuck your father. It's his loss, you hear me?"

He nodded, and I surprised myself by planting a kiss on his head. His vulnerability was bringing out my softer side, a side of me I hadn't seen in a long time.

"He talks nonstop about how disgusting and immoral gays are. Makes snide jokes, thinking he's funny or some shit. It makes my fucking stomach turn. So many times, I just wanted to scream in his face that I was fucking gay, just to see what he would say, to have the last word, you know?"

"Yeah, I know." This time, when I brushed my lips against his hair, I let them linger against his warm scalp.