Library

Chapter 21

This morning,when Roman left me on the beach, I felt a lot of different things: shame, regret, relief, then eventually anger that he'd just left me there like that.

But, I don't know, maybe that was the best case scenario, because I didn't have to face Roman's pity. No awkward sympathies. No having to wave it off, and assure him that I'm okay, which is what I always end up doing. It's weird, but the couple times I've talked about the incident, I always tried to minimize what happened to make the other person more comfortable.

Obviously that wasn't an issue with Roman. I mean, we"ve only been entangled for a couple of weeks now. We're not dating. He's not my boyfriend, so I don't know why I expected him to be more upset. He doesn't owe me anything.

He clearly felt something, though. His face was hard, like he was trying to process what I'd just told him. I wouldn't be surprised if he's completely scared off by all the emotional baggage I carry now. It's a lot to deal with. And honestly, if he has been scared off, then it's probably for the best, right? It's what I've wanted from the beginning, to be left the fuck alone.

But the thought of Roman pulling away from me feels…uncomfortable, like there's a heaviness in my chest. I swallow and push out a breath.

Just sit with that feeling. Let it flow over you.

Dr. Cunningham's words. I sent him a message earlier. After recounting the details of that night, everything I felt a year ago had come rushing back to the surface, and I was worried it might send me spiraling into another depressive episode. Dr. Cunningham and I ended up chatting for a half-hour, and by the end of the call, I felt better.

I move through the rest of the day, and try not to think about Roman or Bree. No one has heard from her, and no one but me is at all worried by that, which just seems wild to me.

And my flyers have netted zero leads, so that was a gigantic waste of time. Either people don't know anything, or they aren't willing to speak up. It pisses me off when I think about it, because this is my best friend's safety we're talking about. And without help, how am I supposed to find her?

I'm walking across campus to the dining hall, when I see Nathan heading toward me.

"Hey, Lux," he says with a smile. "Where are you headed?"

I return his smile. Out of everyone from the Burning Crown–except for Wyn—he's been the nicest to me. "Hey. I was just headed to the cafeteria. You wanna come?" I pause, and glance around. "Unless you can't be seen with me or something."

Not only is Nathan a guy, which may piss Roman off, but half the membership of the Burning Crown wants me either dethroned, or dead, apparently. So, yeah, that might make Nathan think twice about sitting with me.

"Can't be seen with you?" Nathan repeats, half-laughing.

I shrug one shoulder. "Roman has a temper tantrum when I hang out with other guys."

That seems to trigger his memory, and his brown eyes widen. "Oh, yeah. Ash. They hate each other, though, so that's probably why. I'm tight with Roman and his family, so we're good."

He relays that last bit with a sense of pride that I'll never understand. Why are people so willing to turn away from the ugliness just so they can align themselves with power? It's crazy.

Although…am I really any different? Sure, I put up a fight, but in the end, I'm literally putty in Roman's hand. He knows exactly how to get what he wants from me, and ultimately, I give in. It's infuriating, but I only have myself to blame.

"Oh, cool," I answer awkwardly. "Are you hungry?"

"I could eat," he says, and we start walking toward the dining hall. "So, um, how are things with your friend?"

It's so sweet, he always asks for an update on Bree, when everyone else has just completely forgotten she's missing.

"No news." Then I suck in a breath when I remember his dad works at the hospital. "Did you ask your dad if any Jane Does have come into the hospital?"

He shakes his head. "There haven't been any unidentified patients. But he promised to keep an eye out."

I push out a sigh of frustration. It's not what I wanted to hear, but having more eyes out there looking is something, at least. "Thank you for checking."

We lapse into silence for a second before I remember something. Holding up a finger, I stop walking, and pull my backpack around, so I can dig into the front pocket. I pull out the scrap of paper Jackson gave me, and hand it to Nathan.

"What's this?" he asks as I zip my backpack back up. "A drawing?"

I tap the paper. "Someone saw this tattoo on the guy Bree was talking to," I say excitedly. "It was on his forearm, and the witness said it was new. I guess it was still scabbing."

Nathan stares down at it. His eyes are wide, like he's seen this tattoo before, and he's surprised it has any connection to Bree. Am I just imagining that reaction? Just seeing what I want to see? He doesn't immediately say anything, though, and that's probably the most suspicious part.

"Have you seen someone with this tattoo?" I ask, hopeful. My eyes are locked on him, breath held.

That question seems to pull him out of his daze, and he blinks, looking up at me. "Um, uh, no. But do you mind if I take a picture of this? I could ask around."

I deflate a little, but I smile so he doesn't see it. "Yeah, sure. Thanks."

He pulls out his phone and takes a picture, then hands it back to me. I shove it into my pocket.

"Have you checked with the police?" he asks, though I can hear the hesitation in his voice. Everyone here seems to have a thing about the police around here.

"No, not really. I've updated them on everything, but honestly, they"re not even worried. Every time I call them, they remind me it's not unusual for college kids to go missing, then turn up later completely fine."

I know it's meant to set me at ease, but it doesn't. It makes me feel dismissed, like no one is even listening. I mean, finding her phone on the beach, the argument with a stranger, and that weird text…how does no one else find any of that concerning?

Nathan nods as we continue to walk, glancing over at me. "Well, I'm always around if you need to talk," he says. "I know you're dealing with a lot."

I laugh, remembering he was present for the Ramen episode yesterday. "What makes you say that?"

We reach the dining hall and he opens the door for me. He laughs, a low chuckle that makes me feel at ease. "Oh, I don't know, maybe your new art installation at Rush House, ‘noodles on plaster.'"

I walk through the door, and head straight for the pizza station. "You like it? I call it, ‘unhinged.'"

Nathan grabs a large slice of Hawiian pizza. "I can't really blame you for losing it. Some of the girls in the Burning Crown are in it for the wrong reasons. They want the prestige, the power, and Nicole is one of the worst offenders. She needed to be put in her place."

I grab a slice of plain pepperoni. "I don't really care about all that," I admit. "Nicole just pushed me too far."

Nathan turns to face me. "You should care," he says in all seriousness. "You're Roman's consort."

"Yeah, you know what, people keep saying that, but I don't know…" I turn and head toward the drinks. Nathan follows. I grab a large cup, and start filling it with root beer. "Roman just kind of chose me on a whim, and I don't even really know why. So, honestly, I'm not really involved in any of this." I motion to the dining hall, and the university at large. "Ruling as the campus queen really isn't my thing."

Nathan hands me a plastic top for my cup. "Do you know how many girls would kill to be in your position right now?"

"Yeah, I have a vague idea," I say as we head over to an empty table. But as we move through the dining area, I feel everyone's eyes on us. They're probably anticipating another show down. That seems to happen whenever I'm alone with a guy. Shit inevitably goes sideways, and drama erupts. "You sure no one is going to talk shit because we're sitting together?" I say, looking around.

Sitting down, Nathan leans back and bites into his pizza. "Nah, don't worry about it. Everyone knows I'm loyal to the Sacred Sons."

My eyes narrow. "You make the Sacred Sons sound like a cult."

He shrugs one shoulder in response, but doesn't say anything, so I know I've offended him. There's an awkward silence, and I should probably just apologize, but instead, I change the subject. "Thank you for sitting with me," I say. "It's nice not being alone."

The corner of his mouth curls up into a smile, and he takes another bite of pizza. "It's no problem, really. I think you're pretty cool. I can see why Roman is drawn to you."

I shake my head. "Well, good, I'm glad it makes sense to someone. I get the feeling I'm not the kind of girl he usually dates."

He tilts his head to the side, inspecting me, and I shift in my seat, feeling awkward under his scrutiny. "Yeah, that's a good thing, though, right? You don't want to be a carbon copy of the next girl. Just relax. Enjoy the power you have." He leans in, and flashes me a tight smile. "Because, trust me, it won't last forever."

I blink at him, unnerved by that last sentence. Maybe I'm just reading into it, but the way he said it, low and conspiratorial, makes me feel like he's trying to tell me something without actually telling me, and that sends a chill down my spine…

Comments

0 Comments
Best Newest

Contents
Settings
  • T
  • T
  • T
  • T
Font

Welcome to FullEpub

Create or log into your account to access terrific novels and protect your data

Don’t Have an account?
Click above to create an account.

lf you continue, you are agreeing to the
Terms Of Use and Privacy Policy.