Chapter Thirty-Eight

Bianca

I knew Knox and I were on borrowed time once we’d officially gotten together. It was a great feeling, but also a huge pain in the butt. Why, you ask? Knox was scheduled to leave for another three weeks of fashion weeks—this time for mens’ collections—and since I was no longer working, I wouldn’t be joining him. There was simply no reason.

Over breakfast one morning, I broached the subject. “So, you’ll be leaving for London soon, huh?”

Peering at me over his mug of coffee, Knox smiled. “About that, I have an idea.”

I was giddy just wondering what his idea was. “Do tell.”

He stood up and walked behind me to massage my neck. “Come with me.”

Tingling in the best way possible at his touch, I beamed and looked up and over at him. “You can’t be serious.”

He spun around, bent down in front of me, and rubbed my knee. It’d been like this—he’d barely been able to keep his hands off me, always finding even the smallest ways to touch me. Although we hadn’t done the deed yet, which was killing me, I knew it’d happen when it was right. And until that time came, we had both agreed it’d be best for our joint sanity that I stay in the guest room. In the meantime, I lived for each little touch. Interrupting my thoughts, Knox asked, “Why not? Maybe you can make some connections there for your wedding dresses and we’ll get to travel together again, but this time intentionally. I have a room in each city, so you’re covered there. We just need to get you plane tickets.”

I thought about his proposition. It wasn’t a bad one. While he was at shows, I could start making some progress on my new project, and we’d get to spend the evenings together. Bellissima was also supposed to be at every one, too, and I knew my sisters were taking turns covering them with other team members, so that meant I’d get to spend some time with them as well. All in all, it sounded like a good deal. Finally, I said, “Okay, I’m in. I’ll book my flights today.”

He kissed the tip of my nose and sat back down. “Good. I’m excited.”

“I have to text my sisters the good news,” I announced, picking up my phone while he turned his attention to his laptop again.

Bianca: I’m coming to Europe! Knox suggested I go with him, so I am. You guys, we get to hang out! When you’re not working, of course.

Allegra: Yay! I’ve missed you.

Hadn’t I just seen her? Not that I didn’t know it wasn’t the same, my not being in the office every day with everyone.

Bianca: Which are you going to?

Allegra: Paris.

Bianca: Fun! But I’ll see you last.

Allegra: Sadly. Maria’s going to London and I think Perla’s going to be in Milan, unless something changed there.

Bianca: Oh, what have I missed with Perla?

Perla: Nothing, it’s just we kept going back and forth, but I decided to go to Milan because Frankie will be in Italy the week before, so we can meet up when I’m there. He’s shooting a wedding.

Perla: I saw you said you’re going with Knox, good for you! I’m glad to know we’ll get to see you. I miss you!

Bianca: It’s not like I left the state.

What was with everyone?

Perla: I know, but you left Long Island and you’re not in the office. It’s just weird. I miss you. Geesh, can’t I miss you?

Allegra: I said the same thing. She’s a freak. Dead inside.

Bianca: It’s not that. I miss you guys, too. It’s just you all have lives and jobs and I’m like floundering here. Or had been. Anyway, that’s why I texted, to tell you the news. I’m excited!

Allegra: What’s that mean, “had been”? What are you not telling us?

Maria: Hey! Just saw the good news, woot! And did you get a job (she asks, terrified that it’d make it official and you’re not coming back)?

Bianca: *eye roll* No, I didn’t get a job, but I may have an idea on the work front. I’ll explain one day. It’s still new.

Maria: Fine. I’m holding you to that, though.

Perla: We wouldn’t expect anything less.

Allegra: Okay, I got to run. I’ll text you my return flight details just in case you can get on the same one (if Knox’s isn’t an option. . . I already know in the hierarchy, we’ve been bumped down below him) and I’ll see you in Paris.

Bianca: No! Don’t say that! You know I love you guys!

Perla: It’s okay, it happens. When it’s the right man, it happens.

Allegra: Yeah, Perla went through it. And we’re happy for you both, so don’t feel bad. Right, Maria? We’re just glad you and Knox got your shit together before you turned gray.

Bianca: Har. Har.

Maria: Right. And you think Knox is the right man, so you need to see this one through. Unlike the man I’m dating right now.

Allegra: Sure, well, he’s no Dom, so of course he’s nothing to write home about.

Perla: Way to bury the lede. You’re dating someone, Maria? Dish, sister.

Allegra: I think I know everything there is to know about him, so I’m officially going. Bye!

Perla: What?

Bianca: Yeah, me, too. Sorry, sis, you might be the last to know.

Perla: Maria, how can I ever forgive you? *sad face*

Maria: It’s nothing. That’s what I’m saying. You’re not missing out on anything.

Maria: And it has nothing to do with Dom. He’s not factored into everything.

Maria: Anyway, you’ve been busy being married, Perla, and I’m not even sure how Allie knows.

Bianca: Yeah, we all know Maria likes to keep things under wraps.

Perla: For Peanut, yeah, but not me. I’m sad.

Maria: Get over it. I’ll come by your office today and tell you about him.

My heart fell and I was gutted with the reminder that I wouldn’t be doing that with them anymore. It’s funny, they all said things like how it was different (this text, case in point), but it never really dawned on me until Maria had just said that, about going into each other’s office and talking.

I’d lost all that with this change, too.

I put my phone down for a minute and picked up my coffee to try to regain my composure. It was such a silly thing to get upset over, and yet I couldn’t help it.

Knox shut the lid on his laptop and looked at me. “I think we can get you on my fli—” He came to a stop when I think he really saw me. “Sweetness, are you okay?”

I swiped at my cheeks as realization washed over me. I was just in another phase of my life. It would be okay, I just had to learn to accept that things were slightly different with my sisters. It wasn’t another loss, but a gain. I was about to start an entirely new chapter in my life, one that was all about the thing I loved most—designing wedding dresses. “Mmhmm. I’m okay, forget it.”

“I don’t think I can,” he countered, his expression turning serious. The tick in his jaw when he was upset started up.

It was sweet and I loved that he cared, that he wanted to fix everything, but this was something I had to learn to accept. In that regard, the fixing was all mine to do. “Please,” I pleaded and gestured to his laptop. “You were saying?” It would’ve been better for me if he just let this one go, so I hoped he would.

He exhaled deeply, his chiseled chest rising and falling under his thin t-shirt. “You can talk to me about anything. Just know that.”

I nodded, my heart full. My sisters were right. I was right. Knox was the right man for me. I knew it down to my very core. “I know.”

“We can get you on my flight.”

I nodded. “Can you book it for me?” I asked, picking up my phone again, seeing as I just dropped the conversation with my sisters to cry like a baby.

Bianca: So, Maria, London, huh?

Maria: You’re back. Everything okay?

Bianca: Yeah, sorry. Knox was talking to me.

Maria: Good. Perla had to run, but yes, I’m covering London. It’s been a while since I’ve been able to get out there, so I put dibs on it.

Bianca: Will Dom be home with Peanut?

Maria: That’s the plan. It’s good, too, because Dom’s walking for a designer in Milan.

Maria: Jonathon is coming with me from the magazine since it’s menswear.

Oh, I loved Jonathon! He was the Menswear Editor and the nicest person ever.

Bianca: All of that’s awesome. Tell Dom to call me in Milan. We can meet up.

Maria: I’ll let him know.

Bianca: Okay, so before you go announcing you have to run, too, I’m saying goodbye.

Maria: You never did like to be the last one standing. You can have this one. I love you, Bibi!

Bianca: Love you, too!

I put my phone down again and my gaze met Knox’s.

He smiled. “You’re smiling. Everything okay now?”

“Mmhmm. What’s on your agenda today?” I asked.

He visibly cringed. “I have to run into the office and tie up a few loose ends before I leave for London.”

“Promotion-related?”

He nodded. “I’m so close. I can taste it. Just a few more of these fashion weeks, a few more big deals and it’ll all be mine.” When he stopped talking, his face suddenly looked pinched, and I couldn’t understand why.

“What’s wrong?”

He shook his head. “Sorry, I feel like an idiot. Here I am going on about a promotion and you—”

I raised a finger in the air and bent it at the knuckle, slowly pointing it at him. “Don’t you dare! Don’t feel bad for me. Don’t feel guilty. They are two entirely separate matters. You deserve this. I’m in a good place. Sure, I no longer work at Bellissima , but I’m about to launch my wedding dress line. It may be bittersweet, but I’m actually excited about it. Hey, maybe that’s what I’ll call it—Bittersweet.”

“You won’t use your name?”

I shrugged. “Sure, but the collection will need a name.”

“I like it.”

“Me, too. Now get going so you can get home,” I said, standing and walking to the bathroom so I could shower and start my day.

Coming up behind me, Knox wrapped his arms around my waist and spun me. “Not before I have a kiss.” He pressed his lips against mine and pulled back. It was quick, but even I knew we couldn’t handle more, not if Knox was going to get to work.

* * *

As the day progressed, I made headway on a few things Bianca Morelli—my wedding dress brand.

I contacted our family lawyer to get the paperwork started.

I hired a graphic designer to make a logo and build a website.

I reached out to a few people I knew who might be able to help with other start-up matters.

I even set up appointments with different textile suppliers in Europe.

All in all it was a good day, a productive day. And a miracle I got it all done. Somewhere around lunchtime, I was hit with a gnarly headache. Migraine was more like it.

Then my stomach started feeling sick.

I chalked it all up to nerves. And Angelo. For some reason, I kept thinking about him. Maybe it started when I talked to our lawyer and he asked me about my father. I gave some vague answer and tried to quickly change the subject. Thankfully he took the hint and let it go, but it still rattled me. Angelo had no idea about any of this.

In the past, he would’ve been the first person I talked to about it all, getting his advice and whatnot, but now I was moving full steam ahead without any of his input.

But it was all his fault, I reminded myself and tried to quash the nausea.

Knox wasn’t due home for another hour or so and I couldn’t help but think a bubble bath would help make me feel better, so as a reward for all my hard work, I drew myself one.

* * *

Knox

I looked at my watch and knew how late I was, but I’d been nailed with a few things in the office that I’d had to take care of. Sometimes deadlines loomed large with the blog and I couldn’t ignore them. This had been one of those times. But at least I’d been able to pick up dinner for Bianca and I. Frankly, with the last-minute decision to have her join me in Europe for the next few weeks, I didn’t feel like going out to eat or even trying to cook and clean up.

As I opened the door and walked in, I called out, “Sweetness, I brought dinner.” Making a beeline straight for the kitchen, I set the bags down on the counter and went in search of Bianca.

“Sweetness?” I called again as I went into the living room and was met with a strange site. “Are you trying a new decorating style?” I asked, picking up a tissue that was strewn off a lamp in the corner.

Bianca was balled up on the couch with her eyes closed. Something was definitely not right. I hadn’t left her like this. My stomach fell.

I walked to her and knelt on the floor in front of her. “Sweetness?” I laid a hand to her warm forehead and her eyes opened, looking like glass. “Are you sick?”

When she saw me, she was quick to sit up, all the while, more tissues were falling from her body. Where was she hiding them all?

“No!” she was quick to answer. “I just have a sinus thing.”

It seemed like more than just a sinus thing. “I think you’re sick.”

She shook her head. “No. I’m not. I’m all good.” She stood up abruptly, coughing and choking like she’d smoked a pack of cigarettes a day for the past decade.

I backed up and considered running to wash my hands. What the hell did she have? She had been fine this morning. “You’re definitely sick,” I said, knowing there were no two ways about it.

“We leave for London tomorrow night. I can’t be sick. It’s just a sinus thing,” she said again and wiped her nose with another tissue she pulled out of her shirt sleeve. She was like a magician and her trick was making tissues appear out of thin air. “I already started packing.”

I didn’t know where to touch on her, so I patted her head. “That’s good. Listen, though, why don’t we get you to bed, and I’ll bring you dinner.”

She leaned forward and her hot breath hit me square in the jaw. “I’d rather start with dessert,” she said and fluffed her hair. Her hair, I should note, that looked like a pile of wet strings sitting atop her head.

Never had I ever seen Bianca look like this, and I didn’t like it. For a few reasons. First, I never wanted to see her suffer and sick was suffering, in my opinion. Second, and I was just going to be honest here, it was gross. She looked like an ad for one of those medications with the walking mucus ball. So it went without saying that there’d be no dessert tonight. Or any night until she was feeling better. “I don’t think so,” I said, sidestepping her, but slipping my arms around her waist just the same, leading her to my bed where I’d be able to take care of her.

She hadn’t been in my bed yet, and this was not the way I pictured the first time, but I wanted to take care of her—grossness and all.

She turned and tried to kiss my ear and I gently pushed her head back. “Let’s save that for later.”

“But I’m not sick!” she whined. “I know you think I am, but you don’t know everything, Knox Rhodes.”

I raised an eyebrow. “I think I know this. Come on, you just need some rest.” I helped her on the bed, but she refused to lay down.

Instead, she sat up and arched her back, those breasts of hers I loved pressing up against the cutup cropped sweatshirt she was wearing. Too bad in this exact moment it did nothing for me. “Baby, I just want to be with you.”

“And I just want you to get better. You’re warm, you need rest,” I said, the back of my hand on her forehead again to confirm what I already knew from before.

She coughed again and choked out, “I’m just hot with desire for you!” Her voice was deeper than usual, which by itself would’ve been sexy, but coupled with everything else she had going on, I just wasn’t feeling it.

“Um, let’s save that desire for later. I’ll be back. You lay down,” I said again and slipped from the room before this little back and forth we had going on could continue any further.

I couldn’t understand how she could insist she wasn’t sick. I was quickly learning Bianca was definitely not a good patient.

As I walked through the apartment, I started collecting tissues she had strewn everywhere. Definitely not a decorating style I liked. Another thing I didn’t like, as it turned out, women who were sick. So if you were keeping score, now that was crying women and sick women.

I took a few minutes to clean up and tried to sanitize the surfaces I could before I made my way back to the kitchen to get her food, water, and something to help with her symptoms.

By the time I walked back into my room, she had another half a dozen tissues balled up all over the bed—my poor bed—and was out. Like out cold. I turned around and left the way I came, hoping that she’d wake up feeling better and we could keep our plans for London. If not, I knew I had a decision to make.

I couldn’t very well leave her like this, and as much as I didn’t like sick women (see above), I also didn’t like seeing her this way. I wanted to stay with her and help her any way I could.

But if I didn’t go to London, I could kiss my promotion and the big salary raise it came with goodbye. I wasn’t sure I was ready for that farewell yet, though.

So let’s just say she had to get better—fast. For both our sakes.