Chapter Seven

Brayden

My hand on Nina's shoulder is a brazen move, with Jordy right there across the street. All she has to do is look up and she'll see me touching Nina in a way that is too familiar, too much for someone I should barely know. Part of me wants Jordy to look up. To see my hand on another woman. To realize that I have wants and needs too. That I had a direction for my life once that didn't include the one we're on now.

This isn't Jordy's fault, though. She didn't ask for this anymore than I did. And now we're in this place where she sees the future in my eyes, and I am just getting through a day at a time. I love her. I think I love her. But is it enough? I thought it could be. But that was before I met the girl sitting in front of me now.

A portion of my awareness remains with my fiancé, but most of it is with her cousin, as it's been this whole drive home. On the sweet air she breathes into my car. On the quiet way she hums when she's thinking. On the few times she's laughed, and in the way her eyes blaze when she's angry. On my hand that rests on her shoulder. I'm barely touching her, but fuck, my hand could be inside her with the way she's affecting me right now—for the past two hours, since I saw her at dinner, since I met her two nights ago.

"I'll think about it," Nina says, agreeing to something I had no right to ask in the first place.

I hear the car door across the street slam, and my hand drops from Nina in a heartbeat, and in the next, I see Nina's face fall, just for a moment before her mask is back on. Jordy knocks on my window, and I roll down the window.

"I have to use the bathroom," Jordy says, then pokes her head in. "Nina, please let me use your bathroom."

"There's a gas station a few blocks down the road," Nina says, sliding out of the truck, grabbing her purse behind her. "Thanks for the ride." She doesn't even look at me, pretending like we're perfect strangers—and we are, I suppose. So why does it feel like my heart is folding inside of itself?

"Come on, Nina, it's an emergency. I wouldn't ask otherwise."

Nina shakes her head. "Hell, no. I don't need you poking around so you can report back to the family."

"Come on, Jordy," I say. "We're only about fifteen minutes from home."

"I cannot hold it that long," Jordy hisses, and the panicked look on her face tells me she's serious. I take one look at her white pants, and then the sudden paleness of her usually tan face, and I realize this is a do or die situation.

"Nina," I start, and she sighs.

"Fine, but don't look around. I wasn't expecting anyone, and the place isn't exactly company ready."

Jordy practically sprints up the stairs while I slowly follow behind. She squirms while Nina fishes for her keys, and I'm fairly sure is taking her time on purpose. When she finally finds them, she unlocks the door and pushes against it, but then pauses.

"Not a word," she warns Jordy, then opens the door. Jordy pushes through, and I can hear her footsteps retreating down the hall. I start to follow, but Nina stops me. "Nuh-uh, buddy, you stay out here with me."

"You're not going to watch to make sure she doesn't steal anything?" I'm trying not to laugh, especially as I see the mischievous glint in her eyes. She was fucking with Jordy the whole time, probably hoping she peed her pants.

"I keep all of Nanna's good stuff in the safe," she says. "Alongside my millions of dollars."

"Is this what it will be like if you actually let her move in?"

Too far. I realize it as I see her expression darken, her whole body go rigid. She might be considering letting Jordy move in, but she's definitely not there yet. And I'm sure as shit not saying anything to Jordy about this at all. Let the two of them figure it out.

Besides, if Jordy doesn't move here, maybe we can put the wedding off for a little longer.

Jordy comes out a few minutes later, visibly relieved. Keeping to her word, she says nothing negative to Nina as we say goodbye. I turn back to the house after I help Jordy into the truck—just a glance—and then swallow my disappointment that she's not there.

"You should see what she's done to my Nanna's house," Jordy says as soon as I'm in the driver's seat. "The place is a hoarder's wet dream. There isn't a space in that house that's clean. It's like the rooms threw up and covered every inch of the floor, the furniture, everything."

"Was it unsanitary?"

"Who knows, with Nina," Jordy says, grimacing. "But no, not exactly. I mean, the kitchen looked gross. But the bathroom was usable. It was mostly just her clothes everywhere, or things not put away, and it was like that in every room on the main floor."

"So you snooped." I shoot her a sideways glance, and she shrugs her shoulders.

"I mean, wouldn't you?"

No, I wouldn't. But I don't bother answering her.

"I couldn't help it. I haven't been in that house since Nanna died, and I was just curious. Besides the junk, nothing was different. Nina hasn't even tried to make the house her own, or at least make things more modern. My Nanna kept that house like a historic museum, and it's all still there."

"In the same condition, too?"

"I didn't look that closely. I only had a few minutes. But I think it was. Nothing looked ruined, at least. Just messy."

I don't know Nina well enough to make any snap judgments, but what Jordy is describing makes me concerned. Things obviously changed a lot when her grandmother died, more than just the loss of the family's matriarch, and now that Nina doesn't have a roommate, she admitted she was lonely. I'd sensed something in her voice then, and now the alarm bells are sounding.

It's a lot like that dark place I was in ten years ago, when I ran away to college as an attempt to escape reality. But that darkness hung over me like a cloud, following me no matter where I went. Even now, I feel the cold whisps of fog sinking into my pores, trying to drag me back down.

Is that what Nina feels?

"Are you still thinking about trying to move in with her?" I ask. Jordy huffs a laugh and shakes her head.

"She almost made me pee on the sidewalk. You really think she'll let me live there? It's doubtful. Even if she did, I can't live in a place like that. It's a huge house, but with all the shit that's in there, it doesn't seem to have room for another human."

"You are going to school for stuff like this, though," I point out .

"For interior design, not clutter control."

"Yeah, but you're good at it. Remember when you helped Jake consolidate his grandmother's things before she moved into that senior home, and then helped organize her new apartment? That was a lifetime of things you sorted through, and you did it in no time flat."

Jake works at the ranch, and he'd been worried about his grandma for a while. His parents lived out of state, so it was just him, and the job seemed overwhelming. Jordy had volunteered her weekends to helping out, and she was incredible the way she honored Mrs. Hendley and the sentimental hold she'd had on her belongings. Somehow, Jordy was able to get it done in just a few weeks, two days at a time, and make a home out of that stark, empty room in the facility. I was so proud of her, not just her talent, but her compassion—and it made me a bit more excited about our future together.

"I'm telling you, Mrs. Hendley had less stuff than Nina has in that place. If the main floor looks like that, I can only imagine what the rest of the house is like."

"You know, she's not that bad." It's a weak argument, because Nina is incredible. But I can't say that to Jordy.

Jordy nudges my knee with hers, then gives me a grin. "She got to you, huh?"

"What are you talking about?" I quickly scroll through the last five minutes of our conversation. Was I obvious? Does Jordy know?

"She charmed you, it's what she does. It's how she got to my Nanna, and how she bilked our family out of millions. Now she's doing it to you because you don't know any better."

I've heard Jordy slam Nina dozens of times. In the past, I've just let her vent, but now that I know the person she's referring to, I can feel my whole body tense up .

"You sure figured all that out without even hearing what was said," I say, shooting her a side glance.

"I mean, tell me I'm wrong."

"You're wrong."

Jordy looks shocked that I'd disagree with her, but I continue.

"Nina did not try to charm me. In fact, she was quite angry that we were forcing her to accept the ride home."

" You forced her," Jordy says. "And forced me too. I would have let her figure out her own way home."

"Fine, but you didn't hear her talk. I think there are two sides to the story about your Nanna, and you've only heard one of them. And who narrated that story for you? Your mom?"

Jordy doesn't answer, which is confirmation enough.

"It's a shame that you've let family drama ruin the relationship you shared with someone you were extremely close with.

"We weren't that close," Jordy mutters.

"That's not how it sounded whenever you told me about your childhood. You may think you hate her, but I think you might actually miss her."

She snorts, but she doesn't argue.

We pull up to the ranch, and a black and white blur races out of the barn, barking at the truck. I open the door and Cherokee, my favorite ranch worker, dances in front of me until I stoop down to scruff the back of his furry neck.

"I swear that border collie has a tracking device on you. He could be across the field, and he'd still be at your door by the time you park." Jordy reaches down and pets Cherokee too, who licks her hand before going back to saying his hellos to me. "I'll just wash up and see if your mom needs help," she laughs, keeping her soiled hand away from her outfit and pulling her bag out of the bed of the truck with the other .

I take a moment to head to the barns to check on my girls, Cherokee close to my heels. The staff has long since gone home, and the guests are all in their cabins, so I'm quiet as I give each horse a nose rub and a handful of cob. We have eighteen horses in all, enough for two tours at a time along the many trails that border the coastline. Salt and Sea Ranch has been a Sunset Bay destination for horse lovers my whole life, starting the year before I was born. And now, with my dad in a wheelchair, it's up to me to make sure the place continues running for many more years to come. But will I be the one to keep it going? I don't know the answer to that.

Once I get married, everything will change.

I reach the last stall, and Sara nickers at me as my hand brushes against her nose. She's my favorite of all the girls, with her rust-colored fur, the white stripe that centers her head, and the long black mane that's now sectioned into braids with little daisies peeking through the wave. I smile, plucking one flower from the braid and twisting it between my thumb and forefinger. My sister Hazel, most likely. She's always showering Sara with attention, probably because she's my horse.

"That's my girl," I say as Sara takes the rest of the cob from my hand, then laugh as she searches my shirt for more. "You'll get more tomorrow, sweet thing. For now, it's time for bed."

"For you too," my mom says behind me. "And you have someone waiting not so patiently for you to say goodnight." She hands me a napkin with a piece of persimmon cake on it, then nods in the direction of Jordy's cabin. "We already had some, but I brought you a slice so you don't get lost in the house too."

"I'll just say goodnight and then be right behind you," I say, taking the cake from her hands.

"Sure you will." She winks at me. "Your dad is already in bed, and I'm heading there too. I doubt we'll be awake to notice what time you make it to your bed." She pats the side of her thigh. "Come on, Cherokee, it's time for you to go to bed too."

I lean in and kiss her cheek. "I'll be in soon," I promise, because those are my intentions. A curious look crosses her expression. I take a bite of the cake, then hum my appreciation, trying to sidestep whatever question is on her mind. "That's some good cake, Mom."

She smiles, her curiosity disappearing, just like the last of the cake. "Goodnight, Bray." Then she leaves the barn, taking my dog with her.

I leave the barn a few moments later, turning right and heading to Jordy's cabin. I'm not actually sure if she's waiting for me, even if she hasn't been to the ranch for a couple weeks. We've been going through the motions lately, and I haven't let it bother me. I've been busy with work, and she's been overwhelmed by school, so things have been lukewarm between us for a while. It's like we've just been throwing kindling on the fire of our relationship, only to make sure it doesn't go out. But I've noticed the distance I've been feeling hasn't felt very one-sided lately. That said, I know she still loves me and wants to make this work.

Yet, my doubts have escalated the past few weeks, starting with her plan to move closer. Meeting Nina didn't help, but this has been going on for much longer than that. I thought it would pass, that I might actually feel excited to have her closer—instead, there's dread. Am I just too used to the long-distance nature of our relationship? Will she tie up all my time once she's here?

Maybe. But any plans we're making just brings me that much closer to the day we get married and plan a life away from the only home I've ever known. I'm trying my hardest to find something in this to get excited about.

And I'm failing.

I push through Jordy's cabin door. She's already in bed, a book in her lap, but she looks up with a smile as soon as I enter .

"Well, hello there, cowboy," she says, putting her book aside. She makes room for me on the bed, and I join her, wrapping my arms around her as she backs herself into the cove of my body. I inhale the sweet scent of her hair and neck. But all I can think of is the way my body reacted to Nina's scent when I grabbed her car keys, how consumed I was as her natural perfume filled the cab of my truck, how it felt every single time I touched her.

"Long day, huh?" I'm setting the stage for an early exit, but Jordy has different plans in the way she scoots closer. Despite my earlier thoughts, my dick twitches at the invitation.

"We could put a bow on it," she murmurs, arching against me. It's all the coaxing I need as my hands wander over her thin tank top, finding the peaks of her erect nipples, then coasting over the hard smoothness of her curves. Jordy has a smoking body. With her silky tan skin and toned muscles, she's like a Victoria's Secret angel. She works hard on her appearance, spending hours each day in the gym and eating mostly foods that grow out of the ground. It's what turned my head before I knew her. She was turning everyone's head back then—still is—and yet, for some reason, she only has eyes for me.

But as I climb over her, lining my hard cock against her slit, my hand brushing over the firmness of her body, I can't help thinking of someone a little softer. I try to keep my mind with Jordy, staying in the present as my hands weave through her hair, our hips keeping perfect rhythm; but Nina infiltrates my mind with her sweet scent, her luscious curves, and her careful smile. I breathe into Jordy's neck, trying to forget about the softness of Nina's skin under my hand, how I wanted to run my palms over her bare thighs, massage her feet before sucking on her pretty toes, grab the cushion of her hips, and bury myself in her.

I come so hard, muffling my mouth into Jordy's shoulder to keep from saying Nina's name. I lay there for a moment, catching my breath, and willing my guilty heart to slow its beat.

"Wow, that was some pent-up energy," Jordy laughs. I slide off her, then to a sitting position on the bed. She pulls the blankets up to her chin, then looks at me with sleepy eyes and a soft smile.

"I guess it's been a while," I say with a light laugh, then lean forward to kiss her forehead. But inside, I'm dying. She can never know what just happened, and it can never happen again. It's not fair to her that while I'm fucking her, my mind is fucked by her cousin.