Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

Law

I was no expert on family dynamics. Not by a long shot. And I’d barely had any personal relationships in my own life that lasted longer than a month. I had no experience to draw from regarding navigating this situation. So I let my gut take the wheel with Shepperd and knew there was no way she’d be leaving. At least tonight. We could reassess the situation in the morning when her emotions weren’t so raw and come up with a gameplan that worked for us both.

I didn’t like seeing her so upset that her entire frame shook while I held her. When I finally made enough sense of the little bits of information she was giving me, my offer remained as genuine as when I initially made it.

“Have you had dinner?” I asked, then quickly added, “I was thinking of ordering something right before you got here.”

She gave her head the slightest shake. I would’ve missed it if I hadn’t been watching her so intently. She looked so fragile sitting on my overstuffed couch, I wanted to just scoop her up in my arms and cradle her there for the rest of the night.

“I’m not really hungry,” she finally answered. “But please, eat, if you are.”

Mentally, I was compiling a list of bad habits I wanted to help her break, starting with her nutrition. But since that was also a hot-button issue with her and she’d already had enough people turn on her today, I said nothing. Whatever I ended up ordering or making for myself, I’d ensure there was enough for the two of us, and she could change her mind without feeling guilty.

“Do you like Chinese?”

“Yeah, it’s not bad. I’m really not hungry, though,” she said again.

“I know, but in case you change your mind,” I said with a wink in hope of keeping the conversation light. Pulling out my phone, I made quick work of placing an order on the take-out app I used and put my phone on the coffee table when I finished.

I walked over to where she was curled up on the sofa, and I towered above her. I wanted to bend down and lift her into my arms but didn’t have that level of comfort yet.

“Can I sit with you?” I asked hopefully.

She nodded and smiled. “I’d like that,” she murmured in a tone low and sultry.

My dick perked up immediately. The woman had a spell cast on me, no doubt. I couldn’t remember another girl who had that type of influence over my body.

After I got comfortable, I pulled her against my chest and wrapped my arms around her. She was so small and fragile yet so brave and mighty at the same time. With my nose pressed to her hair, I inhaled her fragrance and just let the scent move through all my senses.

“You know, as weird as it may sound, this is a perfect night to me.”

“Getting Chinese takeout?” she asked while running her fingernails up and down my forearms.

“No, although good food is definitely an added bonus. I meant just spending a quiet night in, enjoying holding you in my arms. I could do this every day.”

Shepperd just hummed in response, and I felt her body relax into my embrace a little more. Eventually she said, “I had you pegged all wrong.”

“How so?”

“I thought you were more of a social butterfly. Or party animal, even.”

“I’ve had plenty of time in both of those camps. Lately I just want to be here doing my own thing.”

When Shep tried to sit up and break our moment, I held on tighter.

“What’s wrong? Where are you going?” I rushed out.

“I feel bad. Like I’m totally intruding on your private time. It was selfish and inconsiderate of me to just show up on your doorstep and think you’d drop whatever it was you were doing to help me nurse my wounds.”

I tugged her closer and crossed my arms over her chest. “You’re misunderstanding,” I said and waited for her to turn her face and make eye contact. I wanted to be sure she heard my next words clearly. “Your being here is what makes this perfect, darling.”

She was speechless after that declaration, but a slow smile crossed her sexy lips.

“Really?” she whispered.

“Really.” I planted another kiss on the top of her head. I would have much rather kissed her in truth, but the way we were situated made it impossible. Plus, I wanted to be respectful of the emotional state she was in when she first arrived. Even though her mood was slowly improving the longer we just sat together, I had the sense all the unaddressed issues weighing her down were still right there, just beneath the surface.

So we sat quietly and enjoyed the physical comfort of each other. I smiled where I sat behind her, noticing little things about her in our stillness. Some part of her body was constantly in motion. She toyed with the hem of my shirt, the dusting of hair on my arm, or intertwined and then unwound our fingers over and over. Her little frame had so much energy coursing through it, it seemed impossible for her to be completely at rest.

“You comfortable?” I asked softly.

“Yes. So good, I could sleep like this all night. Hell…” She chuckled. “I may actually get real sleep while wrapped in your arms like this. You make me feel safe.”

And why did that light me up from within? It was exactly what I’d hoped for her to get from the cuddling. For her to verbalize her pleasure filled my chest with happiness. Contentment.

It was close to thirty minutes later when the security camera app on my phone chimed. I knew the delivery driver was approaching my front stoop, so I extracted myself from our cocoon and went to meet the guy at the door.

The delivery service didn’t include a tip, so I gave the kid a ten-dollar bill and he was off. Shepperd was still reclined on the sofa where I left her, so I decided to eat at the coffee table. I set the food there and went to the kitchen for plates. Hopefully, they included chopsticks in the bag, but I grabbed silverware in case they didn’t or Shep didn’t like using the traditional utensils.

When I came back into the living room, she was kneeling at the low table, unpacking the bag. A surge of emotions swept through me again from seeing her there. What an odd thing to spark the reaction I was feeling, but instead of overthinking it, I just smiled and exhaled and enjoyed the scene.

She looked so at home here. So right. I wanted to tell her what I was feeling but didn’t want to scare her off. Shit, if I thought about it too long, the ideas running through my head could freak me out too. Expressing these intense emotions this early in a relationship had the huge potential of making me look like a clingy loser, so I kept my mouth shut.

With an almost shy shrug, I said, “I brought you a plate too in case you changed your mind. Smells good, doesn’t it? This is my first-time ordering from this place, so I hope it’s not a letdown.” I was rambling nervously, so I snapped my mouth shut while she studied my every move.

“Why did you stop so abruptly?” The girl rarely missed a detail, so I should’ve expected the question.

“I don’t know.” I shrugged again. “Sounded like I was rambling a bit, I guess?”

“I think it’s adorable,” she said, grinning.

“Adorable?” With one brow hiked high on my forehead, I mused, “Don’t think I’ve been called adorable in a very long time.”

“I don’t know…” Now she was the shy one looking in the empty bag just for something to do other than hold my gaze. “I like thinking I’ve made the formidable Lawrence Masterson flustered.”

I sat down on the floor across the coffee table from her and grabbed the white container filled with steamed rice. “You certainly have some sort of spell on me, woman. No doubt about it.”

After the rice, I grabbed the box with the garlic shrimp entrée I ordered and spooned a healthy amount on top of the fluffy grain. My mouth watered from the aroma, and I couldn’t wait to dig in.

I placed both boxes in front of Shepperd, silently encouraging her to help herself. I didn’t like eating in front of people who weren’t sharing the meal, but I was starving. Any manners I should’ve had about not enjoying the food while she just sat there disappeared when the first bite hit my tongue.

“Damn, so good,” I said between forkfuls.

“You know, when I was a little girl, I used to wish I was a witch with magical powers. I was obsessed with the idea for a while. Every time I saw a shooting star or my dad would give me his loose change for the fountain at the mall, that was my wish.”

“I think you’d be a formidable witch for sure. Did you want to be a good witch or a bad witch?”

“Both.” She smiled, excited to share her childhood fantasy.

I inwardly celebrated the way she was opening up to me. Even if they were little details, I hoped we were building a solid base that we could form something enduring upon.

This felt so right. I was tired of denying myself deeper connections with people out of fear of being hurt or hurting the other person. With Shepperd, I wanted to make the effort. Put in the work to be the best version of myself for her. Then, maybe, she would trust me enough to support her while she found what the best version of her looked like. It was something I really wanted to be a part of.

We ate and continued chatting. I avoided the topic of what landed her on my doorstep but hoped she would open up about it eventually. Even if it wasn’t tonight, I had to keep building her trust in me.

She ended up taking a few shrimp from my plate but never made a plate for herself. When we were finished, we worked together to put the leftovers in containers that I could grab in the morning for my lunch. I was so tired of eating out every day and looked forward to having something easy to grab and go in the morning.

“Are you working tomorrow?” I asked across the kitchen island. “When do you start back with classes?”

Perched on one of the stools while I loaded the dishwasher, she dropped her face into her hands and sat that way for a moment.

“What is it? Did I overstep?”

Quickly, she looked up. “No, you haven’t overstepped. I’m just realizing how shortsighted I was coming here tonight. I don’t have any clothes with me, and I’m supposed to work in the morning. What the hell am I going to wear?”

“Ahh, yeah, that’s going to be an issue, isn’t it. Can you go back to your parent’s place early tomorrow morning? Head to work from there? You said their place isn’t too far from here, right? Just leave like fifteen minutes early?”

She thought about the idea for a few minutes. “That’s not a bad idea. If I’m in a hurry, they might be less likely to start in on me again. My dad is a real stickler for being on time, so he wouldn’t get in the way of that.” She rubbed her forehead with the fingertips of one hand. “At least I don’t think he would.”

Her whole body had tensed from the conversation shift, and I felt like an asshole for asking what I thought was an innocent question.

“I’m sorry,” I muttered.

“For what? It’s not your fault my parents are overprotective and a little crazy.” She forced a smile, and it pierced my heart straight through.

I didn’t like that particular expression on her and was starting to notice a pattern. She put on that fake smile when she was trying to convince someone that everything was fine. But I knew damn well it wasn’t and didn’t want to brush another thing under the rug.

“Darling, don’t do that.”

“Do what?” she snapped, instantly becoming defensive.

“You don’t have to try and sell me a load of crap. I know you’re having a hard time right now with your folks. You don’t have to put on a fake smile like everything is rainbows and unicorns.”

She was quiet for a while. “You’re right. It’s a bad habit that I need to work on.”

Her admission took me by surprise. I was expecting her to get pissed. Maybe even storm off like I’d seen her do a couple of times now.

I rounded the large marble slab in the center of the kitchen and scooped up her hands in mine. “I think you’re pretty damn amazing the way you are. I just want you to know you can completely be yourself around me.”

“You’re so sweet,” she said quietly, gulping roughly as though she was about to say something difficult. “I don’t want to mess this up.” She looked up to meet my gaze. “You know?”

After giving her knuckles a slow kiss, I said, “I do. I feel the same way. So far, I think we’re doing a good job, though, don’t you?”

“I know I’m trying. Probably more than I’ve tried at anything in a long time. You said I have a spell on you.” She smiled shyly before admitting, “I think it’s the other way around, honestly. You make me feel comfortable in my own skin, and I haven’t felt that way in a really long time.”

I glided my palms up her forearms and cupped her elbows in my hands. Her skin was the softest thing I’d ever touched, and I longed to have her laid out on my bed, completely naked and available for me to devour. My cock liked that idea too, and I tried to banish the image before I had a full erection.

“You’re so soft,” I said, my voice sounding rough and needy.

She gave me that shy smile again, and I was hard in an instant. I pulled her to her feet and bent to kiss her. She seemed completely open to it, so I gave it all I had. Sliding my hand behind her head, I kept her in place while I explored her mouth. I trailed kisses along her jaw to beneath her ear and sucked her sweet skin until she moaned.

When I stood to my full height again, she looked up at me with glassy eyes.

“You don’t have to stop.”

“Well, I have to keep checking myself here, or I’m going to break a promise I made, and I don’t want to do that,” I admitted.

Shepperd stood and slid her arms around my waist. “What promise was that?”

“To take things slow. I don’t want to pressure you or risk triggering you. That first night when you left so abruptly…” I shook my head, remembering that night. “That was hard on me. Harder than I expected.”

She just held eye contact without saying anything.

“I was really worried I fucked things up with you and didn’t like it,” I continued. “Can I be honest with you?”

She nodded but stayed silent.

“I really like you. I don’t know what’s going on here, but I mean, I really like you.” I laughed a little hearing my words. “Even saying that”—I gave my head a little shake—“it’s so out of character for me, but you make me feel things, want things. I don’t know. I’m definitely in uncharted waters right now.”

“You said you dated someone for over a year in high school,” she reminded me. “Didn’t you really like her? I mean, that definitely counts as a girlfriend.”

“No. Not really,” I answered immediately. “To be honest, I’ve never had these kinds of feelings before.”

“Not that I’m assuming that’s what you want with me, to be your girlfriend. I’m just asking?—”

“It is what I want. If you do, I mean. Or at least I’d like to try to see how things go between us.” Christ, this all sounded so ridiculous.

Her full, genuine smile was back, and it nearly knocked me off my feet. The woman was so gorgeous when she was open and not guarding her reactions.

“You’re so beautiful,” I admitted and moved in for a long kiss. I couldn’t stop myself from tasting her again.

With our lips pressed together, she murmured a quiet, “Thank you.” We kissed there in the kitchen for a few minutes, but I could’ve gotten lost with her for the rest of time.

Shepperd broke our connection and asked, “Should we go to bed? I think this day has officially kicked my ass. I want to lay my head down and forget it ever happened,” she confessed while I turned out the kitchen lights.

We moved through the living room, and I clicked the lights off there too. At the doorway of the master suite, I realized we never talked about sleeping arrangements. Should I assume she wanted to sleep in my bed with me? That’s what my heart wanted. It was definitely what my dick would choose.

Shepperd looked at me quizzically when I stalled in the doorway, so I just broached the subject with no finesse. “Where do you want to sleep?”

She tilted her head to one side.

“Well, I didn’t want to just assume you’d be comfortable in the same bed. Which I totally vote for. But if you want your own space, there’s a guest room right here.” I motioned to the door across the hall. “You could set up shop in there if you’d rather.”

“Would you mind sharing your bed?” she asked timidly.

“Not at all. Honestly, I’ve fantasized about you sleeping with me,” I admitted, shocking myself that the words flowed so easily.

Her grin was as breathtaking as her genuine smile. Seeing this woman happy and content was quickly becoming my obsession.

“Good, I’d like that too. But now…” she trailed off as we entered my bedroom, “I really want to hear more about these fantasies of yours.”

I grabbed her around the waist and pulled her against me. I couldn’t resist burying my face in the crook of her neck, making her burst with a delightful, playful squeal.

“No way,” I chuckled into her skin. “Those are mine to keep to myself. Don’t want to scare you off just when I got you here.”

She pulled back with a devious look. “Oh, I have my ways of making you talk, Mr. Masterson.”

“Yeah?” I said with a hundred hopeful ideas running through my mind. “I’d like to see you try.”

“Challenge accepted!” she announced excitedly and marched off toward the bathroom. A low light came on at the vanity when the sun went down, so she easily navigated through the unfamiliar space.

But she pulled to an abrupt stop in front of the mirror. I was hot on her heels, so I almost crashed into the back of her when she stopped so suddenly. The look on her face took my mood from playful to concerned in an instant.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t have anything. I keep forgetting I literally have nothing with me other than the clothes on my back. I can’t even brush my teeth. Or my hair, for that matter.” She dropped her face into her hands and let out a deep breath. “This was so stupid,” she grumbled into her palms.

“Hey, listen,” I said, wrapping my arms around her tiny frame from behind.

She didn’t look up, not even to meet my gaze in the mirror.

“Shep, look at me.” I shocked myself with the tone of my voice. It was low and deep and completely in charge. I didn’t want to rewind to the unsure, insecure and emotional girl that I found at my door earlier. I also knew her temperament could change radically in very little time, and I just didn’t want to go back to that place right before bed.

She lifted her gaze to meet mine in our reflection. “I have everything you’ll need for tonight. Tomorrow we can go to your parents’ house after work and pick up more stuff if you decide you want to stay, okay? Don’t stress about it. We’ll work it out.”

“Are you sure? I just need a toothbrush and some toothpaste. I can sleep in my underwear.”

A groan escaped my lips. Christ, just picturing her in nothing but her bra and panties while I held her body to mine made my blood pressure spike. The sound made her smile, even though she tried to hide it the second she realized it was happening.

“You like that idea, I see,” she said and pressed back into my thickening crotch.

“Behave yourself, young lady. I’m trying to be a good guy here, and if you do that again, I’m not sure I can keep the promise I made to myself.”

So she blatantly reached behind and rubbed over the bulge in my pants with her small hands. We both let out a sound that time, and I dropped my head back on my shoulders.

Promise or not, when a hot girl rubs your cock, there wasn’t a man alive who wouldn’t enjoy it. It’s plain biology at work. Add the science of how much I wanted to fuck her, and I burned beneath her touch.

“What promise was that? To fuck me better than anyone has ever fucked me before?” she asked in a low, sultry voice.

I actually choked on the air I sucked in when I processed her suggestion. If I didn’t get a grip on the situation—and fast—there would be no turning back. So I put more distance between our hips.

“I don’t want to feel like I took advantage of you in a vulnerable state. You came here tonight pretty distraught, and I don’t want to be a jerk and jump your bones when you’re looking for comfort.”

She spun in my arms to face me, and I was looking at a much more confident woman suddenly. “What if that’s what I want too?”

“Mmmm,” I replied while trying to get my head on straight. My dick was going rogue at that point and straining toward her from behind the fabric of my pants. It was hard to think when she stared at me like that. All the blood in my body was rushing below my belt.

“You’re a little temptress, aren’t you?” I warned and asked at the same time. She openly raked my body with a hungry stare. The air in the bathroom grew thick and heavy, and our bodies weren’t even touching. Memories of the way we would eye-fuck across the gym filled my mind, and a slow smile spread over my entire face.

“What’s this smile?” she asked and reached a hand toward my chest.

I gently caught her by the wrist before she hit her target, though, and she made the most adorable pouty face I’d ever seen.

“I was thinking about the way we used to flirt at the gym. God, I had to beat off three times one day because I was so worked up by the time I left.” I laughed at her wide-eyed reaction and moved past her in the small space to get her some toiletries.

“Hey,” she called after me. “Where are you going?”

“To get you a toothbrush. I keep extra things here in this linen closet in the hall. Help yourself if you need something and I’m not around for whatever reason. There’s just bathroom stuff in here. Towels, wash cloths, things for the shower.” I figured a little impromptu tour wouldn’t hurt if she was going to be staying.

“Oh, okay. Thank you,” she said so quietly I almost didn’t hear her. But the way she followed my every move with hungry eyes proved the heat between us didn’t dissipate.

About thirty minutes later, we climbed beneath the covers. Shepperd finally accepted one of my T-shirts to sleep in even though the thing hung close to her knees. She snuggled against my side and rested her head on my bicep, and we both let the troubles of the day evaporate into the still air.

“Good night, darling,” I said with a slow kiss to the top of her head. I felt so calm and content. Sleep would claim me in minutes because my normally busy mind was at peace.

She let out a tortured sigh and replied, “Good night, Law.”

I pulled my face back and tried to find her stare in the dark room. “What was that sigh? I feel so peaceful here with you beside me, and you just sounded like it was your turn in the dentist’s chair.”

“Don’t get me wrong. I love being right here with you, too. But this take it slow thing you’ve imposed upon us is frustrating. I thought your resolve would’ve faltered by now if I’m honest.”

“Oh, trust me.” I paused there to make sure I said the right words with the right tone behind them. “I would love to be with you right now. But I want to do this right, you know? I don’t want to mess this up.”

“Have you had bad breakups in the past? I’ve heard you say that a few times just tonight. That you’re afraid of messing this up. I’m wondering what has you so worried.”

The silence between us ballooned while I debated how much sharing was too much. I didn’t want to scare her off, and I didn’t want to taint our budding relationship with shit from the past.

Finally, I said, “No, I haven’t had a lot of bad breakups, per se. Mostly, I never really commit in the first place. But in my own defense?—”

“Please don’t feel like you have to defend yourself. I’m way too familiar with being put in that position and would never intentionally do that to someone else. It’s shitty.”

“I agree. And to be fair, my feelings are my own. You haven’t done or said anything to make me feel one way or another.”

“Spoken like a man who has been to therapy,” she teased with an air of confidence. When I didn’t respond right away, she propped up on a bent elbow to look down at me. “Am I wrong?”

“No, you’re right. We all went when my niece was having…” I paused there, never really knowing how to label Stella’s experience. But I had told Shepperd the entire, awful story before, so when I faltered, she nodded and gently placed her other hand on my chest.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered into the darkness.

I covered her hand with mine. “Don’t be. You haven’t done anything wrong.”

“I brought up something that took the smile I love so much right off your face. That’s enough to owe the world an apology,” she said softly.

Damn, that one hit me right in the feels. I crunched up to reach her mouth and gave her a quick peck. “Thank you. That was a lovely thing to say.”

“It’s the truth. You have that kind of smile that literally lights up the whole room you’re in.” She grinned wider as I studied her features. “And I’m not just saying that because I want to jump you right now.”

“Girl. You’re not going to quit until I’m inside you, are you?”

She shrugged. “A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. Am I right?”

“In all seriousness, though, yes, I’ve seen a therapist.”

“At this age, and especially by your age, everyone has been a few times.”

I poked her ribs before playfully threatening, “You’re going to get it.” Immediately I remembered how tickling her triggered a panic attack and silently prayed I didn’t just repeat the offense.

Thankfully, she let out a delightful squeal and rallied back. “I’m not afraid of you.”

This time she was the one to initiate our kiss, and by the time we were both breathing like we’d run a marathon, Shepperd was straddling my hips and rocking on my stiff cock.

“You’re a troublemaker,” I said with lips pressed to hers. “I can’t take much more of this and not fuck you.”

“Please don’t let me stop you,” she said breathlessly.

“We’re going slow, remember?” I said, completely baffled where the resolve was coming from. “Plus, it’s very late, and we both have to work in a few hours. When I do finally get inside you, I’m going to take my time and fuck you all night long.”

Of course, those words just made the flames in her eyes glow brighter. It wasn’t a lie, though. It was almost two in the morning, and I was exhausted. We were both jacked up on lust, but once we settled down, I was sure we’d pass out. Or I knew I would, at least.

I kissed the tip of her nose and easily moved her off me. “Now be a good girl and get some sleep. I don’t want a grumpy bear in my kitchen in a few hours.”

“Do I seem like the grumpy bear type?” she asked, trying to hold a pout but grinning instead.

“Totally.” We snuggled together again like when we had first lain down. “Good night, darling. Sleep well,” I whispered. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“Me too.”

And we both fell into deep sleep.