Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

T he wedding ceremony itself passed off without a hitch, Mrs Robinson was in attendance but not Robinson, he was, according to his wife, exhausted by his travels and unable to attend.

The bride looked stunning in deep blue satin that matched her eyes and provided a perfect foil for her copper gold locks. But it was Bethany, in her best pale blue silk gown, that took all his attention. She was an exquisite flower, and his heart ached just looking at her.

He was afforded the opportunity to help her into the carriage that took them from the church back to the tavern and sit beside her. But with a good foot of space between them, and with her sister and brother-in-law sitting opposite, he could do nothing but stare out the window; struck dumb with the impact of her presence.

He had been conscious of her every movement throughout the ceremony and almost missed his cue to hand Mr Lovell the rings he was so absorbed by her. He'd caught her eyes briefly and looked away in a panic in case someone noticed them eyeing each other. When he'd looked back her concentration was all on her sister. Where it should be of course.

Now sitting next to her, getting little wafts of her perfume and the flowers in her hair, he was reduced to a puddle of longing. His resolve to speak to Mr Lovell became a conviction.

Beth sat beside him in the carriage, her gloved hands clasped tightly in her lap, mortified. He wouldn't even look at her! How had they gone from the deepest level of intimacy to the stiffness of strangers in mere days?

He hadn't come to see her or seek her out as she hoped. Each day dragged passed, even though she was kept run off her feet. Obviously, the whole thing was just a fling to him. Of course it was! He was an experienced man of the world, and she was a sheltered ninny!

He had proposed and she had rightly rejected him. But clearly, he hadn't meant it if he didn't push the point. Of which she was glad of course, for she couldn't marry him in the circumstances. It wouldn't be fair to him.

But why was he behaving as if she didn't exist? It hurt! She wanted him so much! she hadn't been able to sleep for thinking of him, aching for him. She wanted everything with him, before it was too late. If only he would look at her…

Her thoughts raced in idiotic circles. She blinked her eyes, determined not to cry, and following his example, stared resolutely out the window.

The carriage drew up at the Tavern and he got out and helped her descend the steps, very properly holding her hand to steady her and tucking it into his arm to conduct her inside. The staff had laid out a generous wedding breakfast, and they took their places at the bridal table.

Seb pushed in her chair and took his seat beside her. He was sweating inside his suit, sitting next to her like this was a sweet kind of torture. She was fiddling with her cutlery and still not looking at him. He had to say something, Break the ice that seemed to have sprung up between them, but what?

A hired waiter, offered to fill their glasses in preparation for the first toast and Beth turned her head just as he was picking up his and seized her own.

She looked so lovely he couldn't keep the words in, "to your beautiful eyes!" Offering to clink her glass with his.

She blushed and touched her glass to his and murmured, "thank you."

She took a large swallow and set the glass down. "That is excellent champagne."

He nodded. "Mr Lovell has sources."

She cocked her head. "Who is he precisely? Everyone seems terrified of him."

"With good reason."

A waitress appeared with plates laden with food and he helped her to fill her plate. Now that they had spoken, he felt more relax ed and realised he had news she would be glad to hear.

"Mrs Temple and Mrs Cummings have been arrested and the house shut down. A half dozen girls were liberated from it."

"Oh famous!" She smiled her eyes dancing and raised her glass. "That is something to toast." They clinked glasses again. "Did you have anything to do with that?"

"I might have," he said modestly.

"I am sure you did." She said warmly. Her softened expression melted his heart. He couldn't tear his eyes away from hers. He felt as if he was drowning.

The next moment he felt a small hand on his thigh, and he jerked in reflex. The hand ran up and down his thigh, causing his already turgid cock to stiffen further inside his breeches.

"Beth!" he breathed.

"Hmm?" she took a mouthful of fish, continuing to stroke his thigh under the table.

He reached under the table and stilled her hand with his. "Someone will notice!" he said softly.

"Let them," she said recklessly. "I don't care!" She drank some more champagne, and the ever-present waiter refilled her glass before Seb could stop him. Beth's cheeks were flushed and her eyes bright as she smiled at him over the rim of the glass. She took another mouth full and murmured, "I want you Seb. Properly. Come up stairs with me later? When they leave?"

He swallowed the groan that rose in his throat. What he wouldn't give to- "No!" he said in a forceful whisper. "I told you I wouldn't- "

"Please?" She murmured, moving her hand higher.

"Beth-" he did groan softly then, fortunately the hubbub of noise around them disguised the sound. Her hand brushed his hardened cock and her lascivious grin widened.

"You can't pretend you don't want to; I can feel the evidence under my hand."

"Of course I want to!" Any man would! But he wasn't just any man, and she wasn't just any woman. When did he start thinking of her as a woman instead of a girl?

"I'll speak to Mr Lovell tomorrow about-"

She shook her head, which made her blonde curls dance about her lovely face. "I want you tonight, now, or as soon as we can. I haven't been able to sleep for thinking of you. Tell me you feel the same?"

Beth, you're killing me! "I do," he admitted, his voice gone husky with emotion and desire.

"Well then," she said offering her glass in toast.

"Beth, I'll not-"

"I want you to kiss me, all over." she cut him off ruthlessly. "I want to be naked in your arms and I want you inside me, fully, completely."

Seb lost the ability to breathe halfway through this brazen speech. Fortunately, it was uttered softly enough that only he could hear. At least he hoped so.

Several hours and multiple toasts to the happy couple's future later, the bride and groom departed in a carriage for the hotel where they would spend their wedding night and the guests were left to continue enjoying themselves a t Mr Lovell's expense.

Stepping back inside the Tavern, Seb felt her hand creep into his. His head was swimming slightly from too much champagne and whisky, and his body was a tumescent mess from the treatment Beth had been subjecting him to for the past four hours.

She wasn't in much better case, judging from her flushed cheeks, bright eyes and slight sway. He'd tried to limit the number of refills of her glass, but he'd lost count somewhere along the way and in his fuddled mind he knew they were both drunk.

"Upstairs," she murmured pulling him towards the stairs.

He tried to form the words to say no and hadn't the heart. She had worn him down over the course of the wedding breakfast and he was one big throbbing ball of need by now. Promising himself vaguely that they wouldn't do more than they had already, he let her drag him up the stairs to her room.

Shutting the door, she flung her arms round his neck and buried her face in his chest.

"I've missed you!" she said piteously. His arms came round her and held her tight.

"I've missed you too, little flower," he murmured. She raised her head, and he kissed her, deeply, thoroughly. "God Beth," he moaned. "What have you done to me?"

She reached for his cravat. "I hope you don't mean to deny me now."

"Huh," he said letting her pull the cravat from his neck and work on the butto ns of his waistcoat. No, he was past fighting her. It didn't matter. He'd see Mr Lovell tomorrow, confess everything and arrange for them to be married with all haste.

The decision made, he turned his attention to getting them both undressed as rapidly as possible. Clothing went in all directions as limbs and tongues tangled and they came together naked in a heated rush. Picking her up he threw her on the bed and crawled on top of her. She was so tiny, he'd squash her if he wasn't careful. Fuck he was drunker than he thought.

His mouth devoured her lovely breasts and tight little rosebud nipples, her hands were all over him, her lips and teeth nibbling at his shoulders and chest. She wriggled under him and moved her legs to spread them either side of his hips.

"Take me Seb!" she said breathlessly, her face ablaze with desire.

"God Beth!" he groaned, his cock twitching and leaking between her legs. He moved, touching her flesh lightly with the domed head and groaned again. She squirmed and panted.

"Seb!" she pleaded. "I'm empty, fill me, please I want you!"

"Are you sure...?" he said, desperately trying to hang onto the last of his self-control.

"Yes, yes! I am absolutely sure!" Her hands clutch him tightly. "Please Seb!"

He shouldn't but God forgive him he couldn't resist. With a groan of surrender, he surged forward and pressed the head of his cock to her entrance and stopped. His heart thudded loudly in his ears and a sweat broke out over his skin. He was too big! He'd hurt her!

She squirmed pushing up into him, "Seb!" she wailed. Her hips rolled and pushed him deeper, and he groaned losing any semblance of control.

He gripped her hips and thrust forward, sliding deeper into her tight, wet, heat. It felt so good he forgot to breathe. He pushed deeper, unable to stop now, even as she gasped and stiffened beneath him. With one last push he was fully seated and held himself rigid above her afraid to lower his weight and crush her.

"Are you alright?" He asked anxiously.

She nodded. But he caught the glint of tears seeping from the corners of her eyes and his heart contracted, his head clearing in an instant.

"Beth I'm sorry! I'm a brute!" He lifted himself up, preparing to pull away but she clamped her arms and legs round him shaking her head.

"No! No, I'm alright. Really it just pinched a bit, you're very big!"

He smiled lopsidedly. "Yes, and you're tiny. I-"

"Hush!" she covered his mouth with her hand. "Finish what we've started."

"Not if it hurts you-"

"I can't explain it, but it's a good kind of pain. I want it, truly I do, please, make me feel good, I know you can." She reached up and kissed him and he melted.

Kissing her with tender care he shifted slightly, adjusting his weight and moving in her slowly, very slowly at first. Taking his weight on one arm, he reached between their bodies to stroke her and gradually he felt her limbs loosen and she began to move under him, her hips pushi ng up to meet his downward thrusts. Her panting breath and face gone liquid with desire told him he was doing something right.

"Beth!" He panted, his own pent-up desire was stirring and ready to run at full flight, he needed her to come soon, or he would lose this battle entirely.

"Hm," she panted, nodding, her hips twisting and rolling, she flung her head back, her spine arching. "Seb, Seb!" she keened to the bed canopy, her voice breaking on a sobbing moan as her body stiffened and shook, and he felt the pulsing of her release, her intimate flesh gripping him as her legs and arms tightened on him in reflex.

His own much tried flesh responded with a rush of pleasure so intense he couldn't breathe, with a mammoth effort he pulled out, his cock fountaining a half dozen blissful shots onto her belly. He collapsed boneless on top of her, trying to catch his breath, the deep heavy thud of his pulse the only sound he could hear. He was mindless for a few moments lost in the aftermath, adrift on a sea of blissful peace.

As thought slowly returned he lifted his weight onto his arms. God what had he done? Was she alright?

She had her eyes closed, her breathing still ragged, her face flushed.

Had he hurt her? He was a beast.

He rolled off her, his limbs still heavy and lax .

Beth lay panting and sore but the ache she had been battling for the past several days, satisfied. She opened her eyes when she felt Seb roll off her, and she turned her head to look at him. He was lying on his back with the back of his hand over his eyes.

"That was not supposed to happen!" His voice gravelly and low, held a note of pain in it.

"It was exactly what I wanted," she said calmly.

"I hurt you!"

"Only a little, the rest was marvelous." She added, "come on, you must admit it felt good!"

He groaned and sat up on one elbow to look at her. "Beth, I very nearly came inside you!"

"I asked you to do it!" she said exasperated.

"I still shouldn't have, it was the whisky-"

"Stop spoiling it!" she sat up and glared at him indignantly. "I was drunk too, that was the only way I was going to be bold enough to seduce you and it worked. I've thought of nothing else since I left your apartment. I wanted it Seb, stop beating yourself up about it."

He sat up fully and took her hand. "I can't pretend I haven't done the same, but I- not like this–so rough and quick!"

She smiled and stroked his face; he was such a dear. She lowered her eyes, she had been so selfish though, letting him care for her. She had to stop, or she would break his heart and he didn't deserve that, he was too good a man.

"I'll speak to Mr Lovell tomorrow. I'd already resolved I'd ask his permission to court you. Now I'll just ask to marry you." His voice deep and sincere, wormed its way throug h her chest and she closed her eyes against the tears that prickled.

"No! Please don't. I told you I won't marry. This isn't some childish fancy. I cannot marry. I will not, please don't ask me to."

Seb stared at her bent head stunned. "Beth, I love you! Did you think I was playing with you?" He pulled her into his arms and kissed her hair. "I admit my address is lacking, but you cannot doubt my sincerity. I adore you sweetheart and I want nothing more than to call you my wife and take care of you for the rest of my life. I thought you cared for me too?"

"I do," she said her voice muffled by his chest. He smiled, relief coursing through body.

"Well then-"

She pulled away from him and looked up, her eyes awash with tears. "It is precisely because I do care, that I cannot marry you."

"Beth you're not making sense-"

"I know, but you will just have to accept it. I am not going to discuss it any further." She turned her back and got off the bed, reaching for her clothes.

Seb was not a man easily angered and the last person he would exercise his temper against would be Bethany, but he was aware of a burgeoning frustration. Getting up, he came round the bed and gripped her arms gently but firmly. "Beth you can't say that to me and offer me no explanation."

Her face closed in a way he had never seen before she said quietly. "I know it's not fair. I was selfish to make you do this - " she waved at the bed. "But you won't change my mind so stop trying."

He swallowed the lump in his throat. A pain the like of which he'd never felt before struck his chest and he lashed out with uncharacteristic venom. "So, I'm good enough to fuck, but not to marry, is that it?"

She shook her head, turning away to hide the tears his words provoked. She had taken this further than she should. She recognised his hurt behind the nasty words. "No, that isn't it. Please go!"

"Beth," his hands on her arm tugged her round to face him. "I'm sorry, that was crass! Please tell me why you won't marry me, if you care for me?"

"I just can't!" she stomped her foot and pulled away from him. "Just go!"

"Beth, I must marry you! You could be pregnant!"

She blanched and looked at him with big, haunted eyes. "No. You pulled out, you said -."

"I know it's unlikely but there is still a risk! The method isn't completely foolproof," he said grimly.

She swallowed and looked down.

"Beth I've taken your maiden head; I have to marry you!" He stroked her arms and gripped her shoulders gently. "That was your fault, love," he said wryly. You're impossible to resist."

"If I'm pregnant nothing will matter," she whispered brokenly.

"It won't because I will marry you."

"No," she said. "No, you can't. I won't let you." Her heart thudded and skipped in her chest and panic began to rise. She had to stop this somehow.

"Why?" his voice, grim and stubborn, demanded an answer.

She gave the only one that would silence him, she turned her back because if she looked at him, she would be able to say them.

"I lied. I don't love you," she whispered. The tears seeping down her cheeks betrayed the lie in her words.

"You don't mean that," his voice cracked, rough and broken.

She squared her shoulders, she had to convince him, for his own good. It would hurt him a little now, but better that than a lifetime of heartbreak. She turned and said firmly. "Yes, I do. I was just using you."

He gaped at her and the hurt in his eyes almost undid her. Her body was shaking but she kept still and silent. He had to believe her.

He shook his head and reaching down he pulled on his breeches and shirt, gathered up the rest of his clothes and let himself quietly out of her room.

As the door shut on him, she sank down on the bed and sobbed like her heart was breaking.

Seb found another room to redress himself and then slipped down the back stairs and out into the rear alley. He was in no fit case to see or talk to anyone. He bought some whisky on the way home and finished the bottle before falling into a drunken doze near dawn.