25. Chapter 25

Chapter twenty-five

James

A melia's lips parted, and I held my breath, waiting for her answer. I loved her, but that did not mean that she returned my regard, though I would wager she did. Our time together was too…

How could I put it into words? Amelia brought a smile to my face merely by showcasing her own. She made me laugh, comforted me in sweet but subtle ways. I never felt the need to hide my interests. She matched my wit with a playfulness I'd never experienced in courtship, and she saw me as more than a man of title.

I had imagined, time and time again, the two of us spending our evenings together. Perhaps I would read poetry to her or listen to Amelia recite those she had written herself. Our days would be filled with joy, compounded only by the addition of children and, eventually, their families.

It was everything I had ever wanted. The dream rested before me, within my grasp, but I needed to know whether Amelia shared that dream. I could not change the images in my mind to something real on my own.

I slid my fingers toward her ear and teased the hair that had fallen from one of her pins. Amelia closed her eyes, as if reveling in my touch. Her voice, softer than the whistle of birds overhead, struck my heart with more power than a full orchestra.

"Yes. Yes, I still love you." Her mouth tipped up on one side. "I have loved you this entire time, James, and I cannot imagine myself ever not loving you. "

My heart threatened to beat completely out of my chest. I wrapped one arm around her waist and pulled her snug against me. "I regret that I did not see you sooner. All I ever wanted was within my reach, and I failed to recognize it."

She shook her head, but her smile grew. "You thought you had found your match. I cannot blame you for putting everything into your courtship with Sabrina. It would not have made sense for you to notice me. You're a good man, James. If anyone was blind, it was the duchess. Why she could not see how wonderful you are is something I shan't ever understand."

My throat grew dry, and my eyes burned. For months, I had wondered if my failed engagements were the result of a fault, something about myself that I could not readily identify. But Amelia had loved me before my heart had broken. She had loved me even when I locked myself away from the world and wallowed in self pity.

She loved me now. Loyally. Truly. With a promise to always do so.

I saw it in her eyes, felt it in her touch as her hands slid up my chest and around my neck. A shiver ran down my spine when her fingers played with my hair. She whispered again the achingly sweet sentiments I had longed to hear, and then her lips pressed to mine.

Amelia loved me, and it would never be a shallow kind of love that forgot its purpose or lost its way. It would be a stout love, full of perfect moments and trying challenges. It would grow as the waves during a storm or a tree in lush grassland, over months and years, the roots deepening and the branches extending to capture the sunlight. It would fill my life with warmth and anchor me when trials threatened my foundation.

My arm tightened around her, and I returned her kisses, each one as tender and hopeful for the future as the first. I held her close, and still the distance felt too great. If this was to be my life, if kissing Amelia would always feel this way, then I would want for nothing.

This kiss—this moment—was everything. She was everything.

Amelia pulled away, and though I was hesitant to allow even an inch of separation, I loosened my hold. She leaned against the ash tree, her lips swollen from our exchange and her color heightened. The result of our activity only made me wish to engage in it again, so beautiful was the way she smiled after being thoroughly kissed.

Amelia cleared her throat, though it did little to reduce the joy in her expression. "Well, that was…enlightening."

"Enlightening?" I asked with a chuckle. "How am I to take that response?"

"What I mean is that I have come to a conclusion."

My heart skipped, but I fought down the urge to panic. What if I did possess some unknown fault and kissing me had revealed it? The idea was ludicrous, perhaps, but fears are often based in the illogical. "And what conclusion is that?"

"A few, in fact, but the one we must focus on at present is how Sabrina and her father will react to my decision to marry you." Her cheeks turned a dark red. "That was your intention, was it not? To propose?"

I pulled her back into my arms and placed a soft kiss on her freckled nose. "You honestly think I would kiss you like that and not ask you to marry me?"

"You misunderstand, James. I would never question your honor, but I have spent a long time hoping and dreaming. Sometimes, I worry I still am. That, at any moment, I will awaken back in my cage."

My lips flattened. Her cage, the one she was not entirely free of, still held her back. It may not create physical distance between us, but I could sense its presence, feel the gap that prevented Amelia from fully allowing me in. The bars were breaking, but we were not clear of them yet. Not completely, at least. "You will never be locked in that cage again if I have any say in the matter. Whatever Sabrina does, whatever rumors spread, I will stand at your side." I paused and tilted my head to one side. "Or in front of you, should you require that level of protection."

"I have no doubt you would, but are you truly certain? Marrying me, especially given my status, could bring you harm, James. Reputations are fragile things, perhaps more so for women, but you are not immune. I've no desire to see you ostracized and your name dragged through the mud."

I shrugged, my lips twitching. "I've never been opposed to a little mud. Perhaps I am an unintelligent pig after all."

"I thought we had agreed that a pig was not an accurate comparison," she said, barely restraining her laughter, much of the worry fading from her expression. "And certainly not unintelligent."

"Then what animal would you choose for me, darling? "

"None." She laid her head on my chest, and I pressed my lips to her hair, the sweet scent of her perfume filling my senses. Heavens but it felt good to hold her, to finally know her heart was mine.

Amelia sighed contentedly. "You are James Blakely, the man I love. There is no animal or person that could ever compare, so I have given up trying to find one."

"I am rather unique."

"One of a kind, to be sure."

"Perhaps I am a unicorn."

Amelia shook with laughter. "Perhaps, though I must admit you are not at all how I have pictured them based on the folklore I've read."

"Why do I feel as though I should be offended? Is there something I should change to appear more majestic?"

She snuggled farther into my arms. "Not at all. I prefer you as you are, James. I always have."

I felt the truth of those words. They sank into my soul and spread warmth through my chest. Sabrina's letter had caused me to question myself, but I hadn't realized how much I needed this reassurance, how much I needed to know I was enough, until coming to Fallborn. Amelia was the remedy to a secret anguish that had lived inside me for over a year.

"Then we are in agreement." I pulled her away from me, just enough to see her face. "You will marry me? We can share a life together, face whatever comes our way together?"

Her expression softened, and the way her eyes studied my face, the tendrils of warmth flowing from her hands resting on my chest, bewitched me. I was hers, and she was mine. It was not lost on me that I had never experienced feelings like this, but I had never had my affection returned like this either. Sabrina hadn't loved me. Katherine Garrick hadn't loved me.

But Amelia had given me her heart long before I knew I wanted it.

"Yes, James," she whispered. "I will marry you."

Unable to help myself, I pressed my lips to hers, stealing her breath. With each kiss, I was reassured more of her affection and, I hoped, she of mine .

"How are we to reveal our engagement?" she asked, slightly breathless. "I understand you are willing to face the consequences, but that does not mean any of this will be easy."

"If it is to be difficult no matter how we approach it, then I would prefer to tell everyone sooner rather than later. I've no wish to delay our wedding, regardless of how others respond. Perhaps we ought to present the news now."

"Now?"

I scooped up her hands and grinned. "Right this very minute."

She winced slightly but nodded. I understood her hesitance, her nerves. There was far more riding on how Sabrina, and her father for that matter, reacted for Amelia than there was for me. She had her sister to consider, and I realized that our engagement may come at Miss Grace's expense. I would do everything in my power to see to it that Grace was welcomed into society during her first Season, but sometimes being welcomed and being respected were not the same.

As we entered the house, Gregory's butler eyed our clasped hands with both curiosity and amusement. The entire household would know of our engagement within the hour. I led Amelia into the drawing room, partially wishing we would find Mr. Perry and his daughter there and partially dreading that very situation, but only Miss Grace, Gregory, and Mrs. Davis were present.

The women looked up from their needlework as we entered, and Miss Grace's face lit with excitement as her eyes fell to our intertwined fingers.

"Oh!" She tossed her embroidery onto the cushion and stood. "Is this good news?"

"Yes," Amelia responded, her cheeks pink. "Lord Emerson has proposed, and I have accepted."

"James," I corrected. "I am among family and won't have any of you addressing me so formally."

"Then you must call me Grace." Amelia's sister stepped forward and wrapped her in an embrace, requiring me to release her hand. "Oh, this is such good news. I could not have hoped for anything better."

"Yes, indeed!" Mrs. Davis remained seated, but her eyes sparkled with approval. "A love match at my house party. My influence will be in high demand after this. All of our neighbors will turn to me to assist their daughters. We will have more party requests than we can handle. "

Gregory scoffed. "What are you on about, Mother? You act as though you played the matchmaker in all of this. You cannot take credit for their engagement." He turned to face me and Amelia. "Congratulations to the two of you, by the way."

"Your mother did provide the opportunity for this to occur," said Amelia as her sister retreated to the settee.

"Hah!" Mrs. Davis pointed at her son. "There. You see."

Gregory groaned and rubbed his temples. "Do not encourage her, Miss Scott. I beg of you. The next thing we know, she will try to leg-shackle me to some poor woman."

"Not the worst idea," Mrs. Davis muttered.

"I am certain your mother will make an excellent matchmaker for you, Mr. Davis," Amelia said teasingly. "Though I believe Grace is the one responsible for Fallborn's recent matchmaking."

She gave her sister a pointed look, and Grace colored prettily, dropping her gaze to the embroidery in her lap. "I take full responsibility. I hope you are not terribly angry with me. I wished to help, and the two of you really are so perfect for one another."

Amelia sighed. "I am not angry with you, though you did have me fretting a great deal the last few weeks, worrying my diary had fallen into the wrong hands. I must ask you to never take my diary again."

"I solemnly promise," said Grace with an air of seriousness that made me chuckle.

Amelia's smile faded, and I noted the concern growing there instead. "You know everything, then?"

Grace nodded. "Everything. I wish you would have trusted me with this secret. Or even Papa or Mama."

"I would have told you myself had I not been afraid of losing you." Amelia straightened, holding her chin high. "But I'm not afraid anymore. I am blessed with the most wonderful friends and family." She glanced up at me, and smiled. "And soon, the most wonderful husband."

I smiled back at her. "I am glad you think so. Perhaps your cousin will offer his blessing now."

"Wait a moment," said Gregory. "If I am to be counted as a friend, then I should know this secret. You cannot talk in riddles and then refuse details. "

"Quite right, my boy," said Mrs. Davis. "How can we be supportive if we don't have all the information? Clearly whatever this secret is has placed great stress on you, Miss Scott. You can trust us to keep it safe."

Amelia's eyes glistened with unshed tears, but before she could answer Mrs. Davis, Sabrina and her father entered the drawing room. Mr. Perry's gaze swept over the space until they landed on me. Instinctively, I reached for Amelia's hand, taking it in my own and adjusting my stance to partially shield her with my body.

The man's nose wrinkled. "Before you go public with the news, Lord Emerson, I suggest you hear what my daughter has to say. It is my understanding that she knows some things about Miss Scott that you may find displeasing."

My hand tightened around Amelia's. I knew everything, but neither Sabrina nor Mr. Perry were aware of that. "Nothing she has to say will change my mind, Mr. Perry. I already know of Amelia's circumstances, but I thank you for the concern."

"You know ?" The man's brows furrowed, and he turned to face his daughter, a threatening look in his eyes. "You said he was unaware. Why is it he can know but I cannot? If this information you claim to have is worth anything, why is the earl not fazed by it?"

"I told you, Father." Sabrina's eyes pinched closed. "He loves her. I assume she has told him, but regardless of how he found out, it clearly does not matter."

My jaw went slack. I had never seen Sabrina so dejected, nor had I ever expected her to pronounce my affections as an observation she did not disgust. She seemed oddly fine with the idea, and I wasn't certain whether that made me feel more anxious or less.

"It does matter," Mr. Perry spat, his face red with anger. "Tell me—tell everyone here—what you know!"

Sabrina looked from me to Amelia, uncertainty shining in her eyes. I fought the urge to plead with her. Nothing I said would make a difference, not if she intended to have her vengeance, but I saw no desire for it in her expression, no ill-will.

Sabrina straightened, taking on that regal posture fitting of a duchess. "I don't have any idea what information you are referring to, Father. Miss Scott is…" She swallowed, and I wondered if she was reconsidering her current path and we should prepare for the worst, but Sabrina raised her chin. "Miss Scott is an admirable woman of impeccable quality. I can think of nothing that would harm her reputation."

" What? " Mr. Perry sputtered. "You said—"

"I do not recall saying anything." Her gaze shifted to Amelia once more. "I have no intention of saying anything."

I heard the breath of relief that escaped Amelia, and while I would hold onto caution, the duchess's defiance to her father's demands proved her resolve.

"Time wasted!" Mr. Perry spun around and marched out of the drawing room. He shouted for his daughter to follow before his orders for his trunks to be packed and loaded began. Sabrina winced, but she made no effort to remove herself from our company.

After a long minute, Sabrina took several tentative steps toward me and Amelia. I tensed, instinct pressing me to place myself between the two women. The duchess had hurt Amelia enough already, and I would not allow it to continue. But she had also made the choice to protect Amelia from Mr. Perry, likely at great cost to herself, and with that realization, I relaxed somewhat.

Sabrina, though, seemed to notice and chuckled lightly. "You've nothing to fear from me, Lord Emerson. Not anymore."

"What will you do now?" asked Amelia.

"I'm not certain," said Sabrina. "For now, I must go with my father."

"But—"

"You needn't worry about me." Sabrina smiled wryly. "I do not deserve your concern after all I have put you through. I have made a number of mistakes, but this is one I can set to rights." She removed a folded piece of foolscap from her dress pocket and handed it to Amelia.

Amelia blinked back tears. "Your father put you up to all of it. I know he did. You cannot blame yourself entirely."

Sabrina's lip trembled. "You are far too kind. Too generous in your forgiveness. Perhaps one day I will deserve it. My father may have made demands of me, but for a very long time, I was happy to go along with them. I treated people as assets. I looked at marriage as an exchange of wealth and status. I understand now that it can and should be so much more than that." Her gaze flicked to Gregory, who was watching the entire conversation with some mixture of curiosity and concern .

"I am sorry," said Sabrina. "For everything I put you through. Both of you."

Amelia nodded, but I said nothing, too stunned to reply. Sabrina had apologized. Apologized . Suddenly I wondered if I was the one dreaming.

"I must go pack my things." Sabrina backed away from us, a sad smile settling on her lips. "Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials."

I couldn't let her leave. Not until this entire situation was put to rest.

"Sabrina?" Her name left my lips, dry and hollow, but it stopped her retreat. She looked at me, her head tilted with confusion.

"I forgive you," I said.

The words lifted a heavy weight from within me. I didn't fully mean them. Not yet, anyway. Sabrina had hurt the woman I loved, and it would take time to completely embrace forgiveness, but this was the first step. This was me breaking out of my cage and reaching for freedom.

Amelia squeezed my hand, and without looking, I knew she was smiling. Her support would get me through this. If she could forgive Sabrina for her treatment and show the woman sympathy, then in time, so could I.

"Thank you." Sabrina curtsied. "Good day to you all."

She left the room, and for a few minutes, silence surrounded us. It was not unwelcome, as my mind needed time to reflect on all that had happened. Sabrina would not reveal Amelia's parentage. Though my trust of the woman was rather low, somehow my confidence that she would keep her word soared. Perhaps it was merely hope, and foolish hope at that, but I allowed myself to bask in it.

"Well," said Mrs. Davis, "this is the most interesting house party I have ever hosted."

"It is the only house party you've hosted, Mother," said Gregory flatly.

"Then we will need to fix that. You still need a wife." She winked, and Gregory scoffed, but his gaze flicked to the open doorway where Sabrina had disappeared seconds before. Something told me that, despite my friend's objections to marriage, he wasn't entirely opposed to the idea.

"Rowe?"

I followed Amelia's gaze to the door, where Mr. Apsley now stood, a book in hand and his brows furrowed. He gestured over his shoulder with his thumb. "Mr. Perry is in a rage. I believe he has called for his carriage. "

"Good riddance," muttered Mrs. Davis.

Her remark did little to appease Apsley's confusion.

"You are late to the party, cousin," said Grace with a chuckle. "You've missed all the biscuits."

"Biscuits?"

"Oh, yes. We've had loads of biscuits today."

A laugh escaped me when Miss Grace waggled her brows. Apsley seemed more confused than ever, but his lips twitched as this was not the first time he'd experienced his cousin's antics. Miss Grace would certainly keep him on his toes in London.

Apsley shifted his attention to me. "I had intended to enjoy a quiet hour of reading before dinner, but it appears Emerson and I may be due for another conversation."

Amelia rested her head against my shoulder and smiled up at me. "Indeed. Do try not to be so stingy this time. Both of us would very much like to have your blessing."

Apsley nodded. "It will be easier to give this time around, I think, so long as there are no strings holding anyone back." His brow raised, and I understood the question for what it was. As Amelia's guardian, it was natural that he should worry about her reputation, but for Rowe Apsley, it was more than simple duty. He truly cared for the Scott women, and I respected him a great deal for it.

"No strings," I confirmed.

I looked down at Amelia and returned her warm smile, barely resisting the urge to kiss her again. There would be time for that, a lifetime, in fact, and I would enjoy every moment of it. For now, here among our friends and family, I was content having her near, content in the happiness she exuded. A happiness that had been hard won for us both.

I leaned close to her ear and whispered. "We are both free, darling. We are both free."