9. RAE

9

RAE

T he days blended together in a mix of pain and rest as I recovered from my injury. The storm had left the forest a muddy, treacherous mess, making it impossible for me to get around on my own and there was no way I could get down that mountain and back to town.

A part of me wanted to be in my own cabin, away from everyone and everything.

A part of me was glad I was with Tanner.

I tried not to pull it apart too much, to define exactly why I felt that way. I wasn’t sure if I would be okay with the answers I found.

His cabin became my temporary sanctuary. With Tanner, the past was impossible to escape, and some days it felt like the walls were closing in… but then I saw glimpses of the man he was and the relationship we had, and it all opened up again, and I could breathe a sigh of relief.

It was like coming home, kicking off my heels, and stepping into comfortable slippers, worn and soft.

Despite the tension between us, Tanner surprised me with small acts of kindness. He brought me food that he put extra effort into cooking. He would often just take smoked meat for himself, but for me he made soup or stew.

“You need it to recover,” he would say.

He made sure I had enough blankets and stoked the fire to keep the cabin warm. His gruff exterior was always firmly in place, but sometimes, when he thought I wasn’t looking, he would be the man he used to be—the man I had fallen in love with.

One morning, I woke up to the smell of coffee. I sat up, wincing as my ankle throbbed. I could hobble on it now, put a bit of weight on it and support myself. Tanner didn’t have to help me around anymore.

When I crept out of the room, Tanner was in his small open-plan kitchen, his back to me as he poured a steaming mug. The cabin was small but cozy, the wooden walls adorned with simple decorations and shelves lined with books and tools. He’d made this place his home, and he was in every inch of it, seeping through the wooden walls, caught in the moss outside and the fur inside. The fire crackled softly in the hearth, bringing warmth.

“Morning,” I said, my voice still rough with sleep.

He stiffened before he turned, his expression unreadable.

“Morning. How’s the ankle?”

“Sore,” I admitted, shifting to make myself more comfortable. “But better.”

He came to me and held out his hand. I hesitated before I took it, and he led me—slowly—to the couch. When I sat down, he handed me the mug of coffee.

“Here. Drink this. It’ll help.”

“Thanks.” I took the mug and savored the warmth. “You didn’t have to do all this, you know.”

Tanner shrugged, looking a bit uncomfortable. “Just trying to make sure you’re okay.” He cleared his throat. “The sooner you’re better, the—”

“Sooner I can leave,” I finished for him.

“—the sooner I can relax and know you’re okay,” he corrected me, saying what he’d meant to say.

My stomach twisted, and my cheeks burned.

“I’m not all bad, you know,” he added.

I didn’t answer him. I knew that, but he’d left me. I couldn’t forget that part. No matter how great he was being, how comfortable it had become to be here with him, playing house like in the old days… he’d left me.

I sipped the coffee, watching him as he moved around the cabin. He seemed restless, like he didn’t quite know what to do with himself. There was a softness in his eyes when he thought I wasn’t looking, a vulnerability that he tried to hide behind his gruff demeanor, but when he turned to me, his mask was in place, muscles tense, as if he was ready to fight at any moment.

With my ankle the way it was, sparring would be a long way away. Why was he so ready to fight all the time?

It was getting harder and harder to stay mad at him, especially when he was so clearly trying to make amends. Being in the cabin together felt strangely intimate, like we were rediscovering each other all over again.

After bringing his own mug, he sat down across from me

“This is pretty good coffee, considering,” I said.

“Considering I live in the woods?”

“I thought maybe you’d make tea from tree bark or something.”

He chuckled. “You know there’s a town within walking distance and a general store that stocks normal stuff, right?”

I laughed. “Yeah, I know. You just don’t look like someone who…” My voice trailed off.

“Who what?”

I shrugged. “Who can be normal.”

I’d wanted to say who can be the way we were before , but I had to stop bringing up the past.

He laughed instead of getting mad.

“If you go to the land of normal, no one will be there, sweetheart.”

The term of endearment wasn’t sarcastic. It was genuine, and butterflies erupted in my stomach.

“I guess you’re not wrong.”

“Picked up a thing or two along the way. The quicker you realize what people really are, the less disappointed you’ll be.”

“Mm,” I agreed. “Isn’t that the truth.”

We looked at each other, and the atmosphere shifted when we both thought about him leaving, about how he’d disappointed me.

“So, tell me about life in the mountains,” I said, breaking the silence and changing the topic to something safer. “What’s it like living out here?”

Tanner leaned back, his eyes thoughtful. “It’s hard work, but it’s peaceful. There’s something about being out here, away from everything, that makes you feel alive. I spend most of my days hunting, chopping wood, and taking care of the cabin. It’s simple, but it’s enough.”

I nodded, imagining the solitude and the sense of purpose that came with living off the land. “It sounds nice. Different, but nice.”

“It is,” he agreed. “But it can get lonely sometimes.”

“Isn’t being alone why you’re here?”

He frowned at me. “I didn’t choose solitude.”

“Of course you did,” I said, my voice harder.

Tanner shook his head and clenched his jaw, looking toward the window.

“No one chooses to leave the world they know and love behind,” Tanner said, his voice gruff. He still looked pissed off. I was angry with him for leaving, but God, I was so tired of fighting.

“I used to work with numbers,” I said softly, changing the topic again. “In the city. It was a good job, but…”

“But what?” He turned his face to me, those eyes deep and impossible to read.

“But it wasn’t enough,” I admitted. “I felt like I was drowning in the noise and the chaos. And then when hell showed up on my doorstep…” I sipped my coffee. “I had to get out.”

“Did he hurt you?” His eyes were dark and dangerous now, a different side of him bubbling to the surface. Cold, calculated, but protective, too. I didn’t feel like his darkness was aimed at me.

“No,” I said softly. Something about Tanner was scary as hell, but I didn’t get the feeling that I had to fear him. “He just did some things I found out about. I had to leave.” I couldn’t tell him more. If Tanner knew too much, it would put him in a position I didn’t want to put him in.

“He’s not going to hurt you,” Tanner said, his voice hard.

“He’s dangerous. He has connections. It’s not as simple as that.”

“If he so much as looks at you, he’s a dead man,” Tanner threatened.

I shook my head. “You have enough trouble of your own, remember? You can’t deal with mine, too.”

Tanner shifted closer to me.

“If he so much as looks at you,” he said in a deep voice. “He’s. A. Dead. Man.”

Tanner was so close now, his eyes drowning deep, and I stared at him. Tension crackled between us, but it was loaded with need. Tanner would give everything to protect me. I didn’t know how I knew. With him, Jethro wouldn’t stand a chance.

He left you , a little voice screamed at the back of my mind. You had to fend for yourself until now. But I squashed the voice and before I could think or do anything else, Tanner kissed me.

His lips were strong on mine, but his kiss was tender, questioning.

I answered, kissing him back. Our lips melded together, and his tongue slipped into my mouth, swirling, tasting, probing.

I moaned softly, and Tanner pulled me closer, his arms strong, his body taut with muscles. He could do anything to anyone—he was strong, and when his eyes became cold and hard the way they’d been at first, I imagined he could do a lot of damage.

But the way he kissed me, the way he touched me, gentle despite his strength, told me that no matter what, he would never hurt me.

Not physically , the little voice shouted again. But emotionally…

Tanner pulled me on top of him, careful of my ankle, and I straddled his lap. His cock pressed against my crotch, and I rocked my hips back and forth. I wore his oversized sweatpants, and the material was thin. He groaned; one hand wrapped around me and the other slid under his flannel shirt and onto my breast. I wore my bra, but he pulled down the cup, and his fingers found my erect nipple. He rolled it between his fingers and pulled me closer toward him as I rocked on top of him.

He growled at the back of his throat.

“Fuck, Rae,” he muttered into my mouth. “You’ll be the end of me.”

His fingers pinched, and I gasped, electricity running through my body, heat following on its heels. I ached for him, the need inside me growing. It was more than just physical, too.

The thought scared me, but not enough to stop what we were doing. I’d fought myself for long enough. I was losing the battle.

He was the one who ended our kiss. He lifted his head, his breath coming hard. He stared into my eyes, and his hands were tight on my body.

“I want you,” he said.

My own breath was ragged, and I nodded. “I want you, too.”

His gaze didn’t waver. “If I start now, I won’t stop.”

“I don’t want you to stop,” I whispered.

Tanner kissed me again, hard. He wrapped both arms around me, hands on my ass, and stood, lifting me as if I weighed nothing. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he carried me to the bedroom. We collapsed on his fur blankets in a tangle of limbs, and his hands roamed my body while he kissed me, our tongues sparring.

He sat up long enough to remove his shirt before he all but ripped open the one I wore. His eyes fell on my chest, and a look of pure hunger crossed his face. He dipped his head, his mouth finding the delicate skin on my chest, and I gasped when his stubble scraped the swells of my breasts.

He tugged down the cups of my bra again, rolling one nipple between his fingers while he sucked the other into his mouth.

I gasped and bucked on the bed. “Fuck, Tanner,” I muttered, my voice hoarse. “Oh, God.”

He groaned and slid his hand over the waistband of my pants. His fingers slipped beneath the fabric, and his touch sent waves of heat coursing through me as he pressed them against my clit. My panties were already wet, and the friction of the material against my clit was glorious. I gasped and moaned, bucking my hips in a slow rhythm as he drew a circle over my most sensitive spot.

“You’re soaked,” he mumbled.

“It’s all you,” I breathed in response.

Tanner pushed his hand into my panties.

He groaned again, and his fingers explored, his thumb circling my clit. I cried out at the intensity. “Yes,” I sighed, throwing my head back.

Tanner pushed his finger inside me, and I shuddered. He added another, and his thumb still rubbed against my clit.

He worked his fingers in and out of me, stretching me, my panties pulling at my hips.

“Wait,” I breathed, and he pulled away, always stopping on my word. I wriggled out of the pants and winced when I hurt my ankle.

“I’ve got you,” Tanner said, and he pulled the sweatpants down my legs, carefully, teasingly.

When the pants hit the floor, I shrugged off the flannel shirt and peeled off the bra so that I was naked in front of him.

Tanner looked at me like he’d never seen me naked before, taking in the sight of me.

“Fuck, Rae,” he said, his hazel eyes finding mine. “You’re fucking gorgeous.”

I blushed, but Tanner didn’t give me a chance to say anything. His hands slipped between my legs again, and he parted my thighs.

His fingers slipped into me, and I cried out. He pumped them in and out of me, and I squirmed on the bed, aching for him to fill me completely.

He leaned forward and put his mouth on me, closing his lips around my clit.

I gasped and arched my back as his tongue swirled around, sucking gently. He moved his tongue up and down, his fingers dipping in and out of me until I was squirming and moaning, a wet, needy mess.

“You taste amazing,” Tanner said, his voice low, the vibrations coursing through my body, and he flicked his tongue against me. “So sweet, Rae. Fuck.”

I moaned in response.

He licked and sucked, and without warning, my orgasm came hard and fast, crashing through my body. I bucked my hips, my toes curled, and I cried out, unable to speak or form a coherent thought.

Waves of pleasure crashed over me; I was drowning in ecstasy.

I opened my eyes and Tanner let go of me, pushed up so that he stood on his knees. He undid his pants and pulled out his cock, rock hard and ready for me.

I sat up and wrapped my fingers around it.

Tanner sucked his breath through his teeth. I looked up at him, and slowly I moved my hand up and down his shaft.

He moaned, closing his eyes.

I pumped my hand faster.

“Fuck,” he moaned, and I wanted to taste him.

But Tanner had other ideas.

He backed away. “You’re going to end this before I even get started,” he growled and got off the bed, kicking off his pants so that he was naked, too.

He crawled on top of me.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, my legs around his waist, and pulled him toward me. I kissed him, tasting myself on his lips.

“Take me,” I whispered into his mouth, and he groaned.

His cock pressed against my entrance, and I shivered, pushing my hips toward him. I wanted him. Now.

I gasped as his cock pushed into me. He was thick, and the sensation was amazing. He was slow at first, teasing me. He filled me up to the brim, his cock thick and long, better than I remembered it. He pulled out again and rested at my entrance, a mischievous grin on his face.

“Tanner,” I gasped. “Please.”

He brushed his lips against mine, but I didn’t want to play games. It had been a lifetime since I’d last done this with him, and I was desperate for him to take me hard and fast, the way he used to.

I pulled him into me, and he let out a moan, thrusting into me.

He pushed harder, and I cried out, arching my back.

“Is this what you want?” he asked in a husky voice.

I nodded. “Don’t stop.”

He pulled back and slammed into me again. I moaned and bucked my hips. He filled me up, and his hands explored my body as he thrust into me.

He grabbed my hips, angled me so he was deeper.

“Fuck,” I moaned.

Tanner’s pace picked up, his strokes short and fast, and the friction against my clit was intense. The bed shook and squeaked, and our bodies slapped together, the sound echoing through the room.

“Rae,” he grunted. “Come for me, baby.”

I gasped and moaned, the tension in my body building. Another orgasm was coming.

“I want to feel you,” Tanner groaned. “Fuck.”

He pounded into me, faster and faster, his face red, his muscles taut.

“Tanner!” I shouted his name, and I was lost, flying.

He grunted and slammed into me a few more times before he groaned, and his cock pulsated inside me.

“Fuck, Rae.”

We came together, our orgasms pulsating, feeding off each other. Being with Tanner again was like going back to the past, knowing every step, and learning his body all over again as if we were strangers.

Tanner collapsed onto me, his cock inside me as our orgasms slowly faded. My arms were around his neck and our bodies were melded together, skins slick with sweat.

Finally, he lifted his head, planted a kiss on my lips, and rolled onto the bed next to me. He pulled me close, wrapping his arm around me. With his free hand, he tugged furs over us so we didn’t get cold.

He kissed my forehead and closed his eyes, and I watched him for a moment, trying to figure out how I was feeling.

It was good to be with him.

But a small part of me was terrified. He’d left me before. What if he left again? But I was in his house, his territory, not the other way around. And the truth was that eventually I would be the one leaving. As soon as the winter was gone, I would keep moving if Jethro hadn’t found me yet.

I pushed the thoughts away and closed my eyes. There was nothing to think about or talk about right now.

The time for those things would come later.