8. TANNER

8

TANNER

T he rain beat against the cabin windows, a relentless barrage that echoed the turmoil in my mind. Rae sat in front of the fire, soaked to the bone and shivering despite the warmth and the towel I’d given her.

I hadn’t been able to leave her out in this storm. Hell, I’d been a dick but I wasn’t a monster.

The part of me that wanted to protect her screamed louder than the part that told me to be careful, and, fuck it, it was Rae. She’d always had a part of my heart. I had to get used to it, because, damn it, no matter how hard I tried to convince myself, it wouldn’t change.

I had to man up and handle it.

The fire crackled in the hearth as it grew, eating at the wood. I’d built it when the storm had just started, and it cast a warm glow over the room. My cabin was small but sturdy, and it wouldn’t buckle under the weight of the storm. The walls were lined with rough-hewn logs, and the floor was covered in thick, woven rugs, keeping danger out and warmth in.

“Let me see your hands,” I said gruffly.

Rae hesitated, her eyes large and unsure, but then held out her hands. I took them gently, examining the scrapes and cuts. Some were pretty deep, but they weren’t as bad as they looked, just bloodied and full of mud.

When I’d seen her first, drenched and bloody, my heart had nearly stopped.

I fetched a first-aid kit from the bathroom. As I cleaned and bandaged her hands, she winced but didn’t pull away. The tension between us was palpable. She hated that I was looking after her—I didn’t need her to tell me that to know. I knew her. Her expressions, her thoughts. She might have changed in a lot of ways, but she was also still exactly the same.

“How many times are you going to tell me you stumbled across my cabin before you realize that I know it’s bullshit?”

She glared at me. “Are you calling me a liar?”

“I just don’t think any of this is an accident.”

She shook her head. “The first time was. The second time, I remembered where you were. I needed to hide from the storm, but I’ll leave as soon as it’s over. Don’t you worry. As soon as I can get out of here, I’m gone.”

Her words were hard, and they cut me. I didn’t want her to leave. But I was pushing her away. That had always been the plan, right?

When her hands were bandaged, she pulled the towel tighter around her, but she still shivered. Her clothes were wet and the fire wouldn’t help.

I stood. “You have to get out of those wet clothes. You’ll catch your death. Come on.” I turned away from her.

Rae followed me to the bedroom, her footsteps hesitant. I rummaged through the dresser, pulling out a pair of old sweatpants and a flannel shirt. “It’s all I have,” I said, handing them to her. “They’ll be big, but they’re dry. You can shower, get rid of all the mud, and get dry.”

“Thanks,” she muttered, taking the clothes. She headed to the bathroom, closing the door behind her. I heard the shower start, the sound of water a soothing counterpoint to the storm outside.

While she was showering, I stoked the fire, adding another log. The cabin was warm, the scent of pine and woodsmoke filling the air. I couldn’t shake the feeling of protectiveness that had settled over me. Despite everything, despite the questions and the mistrust, I couldn’t stand to see Rae suffer.

When she emerged from the bathroom, she was dressed in my clothes. The sweatpants hung loosely on her hips, and the flannel shirt was practically a dress. But fuck, I’d never seen anyone hotter. Her hair was wet and curled around her face.

“Feel better?” I tried to keep my voice neutral.

“A little,” she admitted, moving closer to the fire before she added in a whisper, “Thanks for this.”

I nodded. “You’re welcome.”

She glanced at me but said nothing.

No matter how hostile we were toward each other, there was a spark underneath it all, the same spark that had always been between us.

The wind howled outside, the storm crashing down all around us, reminding us that nature was so much bigger and it could crush us if it wanted. We were hidden from the storm but I was under no illusion where I stood on the food chain.

Humans always believed they were on top of the world, but it wasn’t that simple. Death came too easily, and surviving wasn’t simple.

The storm brought darkness much earlier than was normal for this time of year, and I turned on the oil lamps.

“You should rest,” I said. “It’s going to be a rough night; this storm isn’t letting up any time soon. You can take the bed.”

“What about you?”

“I’ll be fine. I’m used to rough nights, and the couch is close to the fire.”

“I’ll sleep on the couch,” she said.

I shook my head. I wasn’t letting her sleep out here. It would be safer for her in bed, with fur blankets, and if I was on the couch, I could be the first line of defense if someone came through that door looking for her.

What the hell is wrong with you? Her problems are not yours.

But that was bullshit. Her problems were mine, because I would rather die than see her suffer.

You have to choose what you’re willing to live for. Willing to die for. Bear’s words echoed in my mind again.

“I’m not taking the bed—” Rae started arguing, standing in the process. When she did, she winced and fell back onto her chair. “Shit.”

“What?”

“My ankle. It’s so much worse than earlier.” She pulled up the sweatpants. Her ankle was bruised and swollen. “I didn’t think the sprain was that bad.”

“Come,” I said, pulling her up. I slid my arm around her waist, and she put an arm around my neck. Her body was warm, delicate against mine, but her muscles were tight, her body tense. I helped her hobble to the bedroom.

She didn’t argue. I helped her onto the large double bed I’d built. It was sturdy, with a thick mattress I’d had to buy and fur blankets I’d made.

I tucked her into bed, and her eyes fluttered shut.

My heart constricted. She looked like she was in pain, and her vulnerability made me want to fight off the hell she was going through—whatever it was.

“I’ll be out of your hair in the morning,” she mumbled sleepily.

“We’ll see how it goes.” I pulled the blankets higher, tucking them around her.

She was asleep in no time, her body giving in.

I watched her for a moment, my heart aching. I wanted to protect her, to keep her safe. But I knew that wasn’t enough. She needed answers, and I wasn’t sure I was ready to give them.

The storm continued raging outside. I sat by the fire, watching the flames, listening to the crackle. Memories of our time together flooded back. We had been so good together once. She’d been my everything.

The fucking air I breathed.

And now she was in my bed again, small, fragile, hurt.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair, and found another fur blanket. I put one more log on the fire and got onto the couch, settling in for a long night where the storm inside me raged louder than the storm outside.

The storm had transformed the forest into a muddy mess, the ground slick and treacherous.

Rae’s ankle was worse than expected, swollen and bruised. She couldn’t walk on it, and I couldn’t let her leave in this condition.

I sat her down on the couch, elevating her injured ankle and wrapping it with an ice pack. “You need to rest this,” I said firmly. “You’re not going anywhere for a few days.”

Rae looked at me, her eyes wary. “I can’t stay. I have work, and I won’t invade your space.”

“You’re not,” I replied, my voice softer. “I’ll take care of you. And I’ll talk to Hank.”

She narrowed her eyes at me. She didn’t trust me. It stung, but she had every right not to trust me. I had to earn that back if I wanted her to feel differently about me—less hurt.

“I’m headed into town now, and I’ll stop at the store,” I said. “I’ll get some extra food for us up here, talk to Hank.”

“And Laken,” she said. “She’ll worry.”

“Fine.”

She nodded, settling back against the cushions. I grabbed my jacket and headed for the door.

“Thank you, Tanner,” she said quietly.

I stepped outside, the remnants of the storm still lingering in the air. The sky was gray and threatening, with more rain still to come.

The path to town was muddy and slippery, and destruction reigned around me. Trees had fallen, branches ripped off, and parts of the mountainside had been shifted in landslides caused by all the water. Boulders weren’t where they used to be and I had to pick my way down a different path than usual.

There was no way Rae would get down here with that ankle.

Finally, I reached the town. I made my way to Garrison’s General Store.

Hank was behind the counter, as usual, his bushy mustache twitching as he chatted with a customer.

I walked through the aisles, finding what I needed to get the two of us through the next few days. Bread, fresh produce, a couple of canned foods. I added cookies and chocolate to the basket because she’d always loved that.

I spotted Laken and walked to her, told her what had happened.

“Oh, God,” Laken said. “I was worried when she didn’t show this morning.” She tilted her head and looked at me. “Just make sure she’s safe, okay? She doesn’t need more pain.”

I blinked at Laken. What did she know? What had Rae told her?

Laken turned back to her chores, an obvious dismissal, and I walked to the counter to pay.

Hank smiled, making small talk while he rang up the goods.

“Anything else you need?” he asked when all items in the basket had been accounted for.

“Need to talk to you about Rae.” I leaned against the counter.

“Oh?”

“She’s going to be off for a few days. Got caught in the storm and hurt her ankle pretty bad.”

Hank’s expression turned serious. “Is she okay?”

“She’s fine. Just needs some rest. I’m looking after her.”

Hank’s face perked up at that. It was gossip that could be spread, no doubt. But he needed to know.

“You’ll keep her position for her?”

Hank nodded, his eyes thoughtful. He smoothed his mustache with his thumb and forefinger. “She’s a good worker. We’ll manage without her for a bit, but her job will be waiting for her when she gets back. Tell her to take care.”

“I will,” I said, turning to leave.

It was harder to make my way up the muddy mountainside, but eventually I reached the cabin.

Rae was sitting on the couch where I’d left her, her eyes following me as I entered. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” I replied, hanging up my jacket. “Hank says to take all the time you need.”

“Thanks,” she said, her voice soft. “I don’t know how to repay you for this.”

“You don’t have to.” I handed her a packet of cookies. Her eyes widened, and a small smile crossed her face before she opened it.

I loved seeing her smile. I loved the sparkle in her eyes that came with small, simple pleasures.

While she munched on her cookies, I unpacked the food I’d gotten into the cabinets. The silence with her in my cabin, watching my every move, wasn’t tense. It was comfortable, the way it was before.

Rae used to be someone I could talk to about everything, about nothing at all.

She used to be someone I could be quiet with.

That was a lifetime ago, before everything went wrong. I had to make sure it wouldn’t go wrong again.

“We need to talk,” I finally said when everything was packed away. I’d taken a piece of meat from the smoker and carved pieces off it, chewing.

“About what?”

“Why you’re really here.” I looked at her, holding her gaze. “Are you going to bring trouble to my doorstep?”

“It’s not the plan.”

“What are you doing here in Silver Ridge? Are you working for him?”

There, the question was out there. I didn’t know if she’d tell me if she was working for my ex-boss, but I had to ask.

“Him, who?” She looked confused.

I stared at her, holding her gaze until she broke and talked again.

She sighed, her shoulders slumping. “I told you. I needed a place to hide. I’m not here for anyone. I’m hiding from someone. Surely you know the difference. I didn’t even know you were here until you barged into my cabin that first night.”

“It’s usually my cabin.”

“Whatever,” she said. “I’m not here to do whatever it is you think I’m doing here. I’m just hiding to be safe. The people I’m running from…” She hesitated. “He’s dangerous.”

He?

My protective instincts flared, and I wanted to wring his neck. Or shoot him in the face. Or beat him to a bloody pulp.

Dangerous , she’d said.

“What did he do?”

Rae shook her head. She wasn’t going to tell me. I guess I couldn’t push her.

“What about you? What are you doing here?”

I frowned.

“Come on, I told you, now you have to tell me.”

“This isn’t a give and take.”

Rae rolled her eyes, and fuck it, if her sass didn’t make me want to kiss her… But I wasn’t someone who could be with her. She deserved more than me. Better than me.

“You don’t know what I’ve done, Rae.” I tried to find the right words. “You shouldn’t have someone like me in your life.”

She set her jaw, jutting her chin up. “Don’t you think that’s for me to decide?”

“No,” I said flatly. “I decide that.”

Her eyes flashed, and she was suddenly furious. Fuck, I was in trouble.

The angrier she got, the hotter she was, and fucked if I didn’t want to grab her, kiss her, carry her to my bed and fuck her.

“You made that pretty damn clear when you left,” she said angrily, but her voice broke and being emotional seemed to just piss her off more.

“I had to protect you,” I said. “If I’d stayed…

“Love means facing trouble together,” she shot at me. “It doesn’t mean running away.”

We glared at each other but my heart ached with regret.

“I did what I had to do.”

Her eyes shimmered. I willed her not to cry. If she cried, it would ruin me. I wouldn’t be able to stand that I’d hurt her that much. But she blinked a few times and all evidence of her emotions was gone, hidden behind the mask she’d slipped back into place.

Fuck.

We both knew how to hide what we felt, but sometimes it was a curse.

“Well, you don’t have to worry. As soon as I can get out of here, I’ll leave you alone, and then you can get back to doing what you have to do .” Her last words were sarcastic and I bristled, but I couldn’t argue with her, fight her on it, because she had every right to be upset.

The only saving grace I had was that she couldn’t leave just yet, not with her ankle in that state.

The realization that I wanted her to stay shocked through me like a jolt of electricity.

What the fuck, Tanner?

My heart was starting to win out over my head, and if that happened completely… I was in deep shit.