31. Anastazia

I shut my eyes for a second to enjoy the foot massage Asif was giving me as we sat in his big ass tub. He wasn’t exactly a fan of baths but would always agree to take them with me, especially after sex because he thought it was a gateway to round two. Often, it was.

“Pretty ass feet.” He kissed the bottom of one, making me smile. We exchanged flirty grins for a bit after, and I could tell by his lustful gaze he would be trying his luck soon.

“I wanna open a women’s center for abused women and for women who are struggling financially with children,” I said. “I’m telling you because other than the fact that you’re my man, I think it could be something we could do together. The center will need protection, and it could be something your soldiers could do, something else to make them look legit all the while protecting the ladies who reside there.”

Asif regarded me momentarily before saying, “I like that. When you decide on this?”

“Kind of recently. Jacinta came to me for help, and I really didn’t have any options for her. Also, back when I was dealing with Cedric, women’s centers weren’t an option, because he would barge right in there and snatch me out.”

Asif’s jaw twitched a bit, so I would be sure not to mention Cedric again for the night. I knew he wanted to put hands and anything else on him but couldn’t, which was frustrating. So it didn’t help when I brought up things he’d done to me.

“Makes sense,” he finally said, taking my other foot to massage. “You feel bad for that girl? After all she did?”

“I do.” I scrunched my face, knowing it was foolish to. “I don’t forgive her, but I feel bad that she’s in that situation. I feel bad for any woman in that situation because even the shadiest hos like her don’t deserve that. And I’ve been there, feeling scared and hopeless, and like you’re gonna die being miserable and afraid. I didn’t like seeing her like that; it truly bothered me.

“She had to be hurting, too, because having to tuck her tail between her legs and admit she was wrong probably took a lot. And he is hitting her in the face, something he doesn’t typically do. He only did it to me the night I shot him because he was so vexed that he’d lost all control. Then talking to Scotland, her having nowhere to go when she was with her ex, I just think we could help a lot of people.”

Tugging me across the large jacuzzi tub, Asif made me straddle him. “Yo’ man is wealthy as hell, so use my fucking money to do what you want to, to help. I don’t care what it cost.” He kissed between my breasts as I smiled hearing that. I wasn’t asking him to pay for it. I hadn’t thought about the finances yet, but it was nice to know he would. “You a good person, you know that?”

“I can be.”

“Nah, you are.” His lids lowered for a minute like he was studying me. “You care about muthafuckas, even when you shouldn’t. You put yo’self on the line for the people you care about, and ain’t a lot of people like you. Not too many women would tell a nigga not to kill his old jump off causing issues.” I giggled as he smirked subtly before getting serious. “You rare, and I’m fucking lucky. I want you to understand that shit, love.”

“I’m lucky too.” I cupped his face to kiss him.

“Nah, you getting what’s owed to you out of life, but I’m gon’ double that shit up. I meant it when I said I’m gon’ make sure you get every fucking thing you want, need too. Put a cape on yo’ ass, call you Super Satisfied.” I tossed my head back to laugh, and he joined before it ceased. “Niggas gon’ know it’s impossible to impress you, Sophie, and any other daughters we create, and I put that shit on everything.”

“I love you.” I spoke against his mouth before we kissed.

His mouth dropped down to my neck then my collarbone, before he took my nipple into his mouth, making me moan.

“You so fucking soft. I wanna eat yo’ ass up.” He gripped handfuls of my ass under the warm water.

“Do it then.”

Before I could finish, the nigga was up out of the tub, still holding onto me as he took me to the bed, continuing his reign as the best eater I’d ever met.

THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA V. CHASE…

As I took my seat on the stand, I already felt nervous, mainly because Cedric was staring a hole through me, right along with his family. I could tell by the way he twisted his jaw he wanted to jump over here on me, and as crazy as he was, I wouldn’t be surprised if he did.

Thankfully, my people were here, too, including my mother, Analicia, Asif, and even Lisara and Prime, which I appreciated. Sophie was with my aunt Fiona, and we’d retrieve her this evening.

Bashar approached me, giving me a look that told me to focus on him and not on Cedric across the room, slinked back in his wheelchair like a buffoon.

“Ms. Chase, how are you today?” Bashar questioned.

“Okay as I can be.” I gave him a half smile.

“Good.” He nodded. “Why did you shoot Cedric Pete?” He got right to it, hands in the pockets of his expensive slacks.

“Because he was abusive, and I wanted to get away from him.” I answered truthfully like Bashar had advised of me.

Nodding, he frowned. “Why not just pack up and walk out the door then?”

“I did once, when my younger sister told me he’d flirted with her. But when he found my whereabouts, he snatched me up and proceeded to try to drown me until I agreed not to leave him. From that point on, I was afraid of him.”

I tried to keep my composure and focus on just answering versus recalling the actual events like Bashar had instructed me to. If I started to visualize the things that happened to me, it would affect me too much.

“I see.” He paced a bit. “Did you try to call the police?”

“I did, but the first few cops that came told me they couldn’t remove him from the home because it was his residence. I would have to file a restraining order. He was mad I called the cops, though, so as soon as they left… um, he reacted.” I cleared my throat. “The abuse went on until I was finally able to get away to try to file the restraining order since he had an on-site job and wouldn’t be able to follow me. But the officer told me someone like Ced—him, wouldn’t be pressed about a restraining order, and it would only upset him further, to which I would have to deal with.”

I caught Cedric’s eyes as I talked, and he looked pissed off. The more I talked, the harder his jaw clenched as he watched me. I saw Asif just as perturbed but for different reasons, obviously. Seeing him and how handsome he looked in his suit brought me some relief though.

“You seem nervous, Ms. Chase. Why is that?” Bashar queried.

“Because he’s right there, and he’s watching me.” I nodded in his direction and watched Bashar give a look to the jury who was already horrified by what I’d said. If that shocked them, I could only imagine if they heard the gory details.

“Can you tell me what a typical day with Mr. Pete was like?” Bashar leaned a hand on the stand.

“Um,” I thought for a second, “usually, I would wake up pretty early before him and be able to go to the bathroom finally. After that, I would brush my teeth, shower, and then check on our daughter, Sophie. If she was awake, I would get her together, make us all breakfast, and by that time, he would be up.

“If he had a job to do, he would eat and then get ready before leaving, but if not, he would basically follow me to drop Sophie at daycare, then to work, where he would randomly roam my floor to keep an eye on me. Pretty much, he would watch me all day and then follow me out when it was time to leave, grab Sophie, and go home. Then after I cooked and bathed Sophie, he would make us all go to bed. He and I would have to have sexual intercourse, and I would have to lie there with him holding me for hours, unable to use the restroom or get up until the morning.”

“You mentioned that he was abusive, was this every day?”

“Every day, yes, but not always physical. Some days it would be emotionally, verbally, and then others, physically. But it would always be something.”

“I want the jury to take note of these photos, please,” Bashar said as his assistant set up the projector, handing him the remote to control it.

The jury gasped seeing some unreleased photos of the injuries I’d incurred from Cedric. I turned away, not really wanting to see them because it would make me remember too vividly. After going through his slideshow, Bashar let us know that was all the questions he had.

At that moment, the prosecutor, Emilia Finley, stood up. She gave me a fake smile as she greeted me. She was young, older than me though, so around Bashar’s age, wearing a brown skirt suit and a hairstyle that was very dated. She looked like the type of woman who gave everything to her job, and it scared me. Just like Bashar, I could tell she was good at what she did.

“Ms. Chase, is it true you practiced at a gun range months before you shot Cedric Pete?” Her brows kissed as she looked at me for an answer.

“Well, I wanted?—”

“It’s a yes or no answer, Ms. Chase. Did you or did you not go to the gun range in order to perfect your skills well before Cedric allegedly assaulted you the night you shot him?”

“Yes.” I blinked rapidly, suddenly uncomfortable.

Emilia nodded with a smirk like that was the exact answer she wanted as she paced in her brown pumps, eyeing the glossy courtroom floor for a moment.

“Did you also drop your daughter off before you went home that night?”

“Yes.”

Wearing a look of confusion, she glanced at the jury, then back at me and asked, “Why? Your child lives with you, yet you suddenly drop her to her grandmother’s?”

“Yes, because my mother wanted to see her,” I lied.

Emilia laughed, letting me know she didn’t believe me.

“So let me get this straight, Ms. Chase. Cedric Pete, this abusive tyrant of a man who wants to control everything, would’ve been perfectly fine with you deviating and dropping your daughter off to your mother after work?”

“Sophie wasn’t much of his concern.”

“Okay, let’s go with that. Why wait until after work? Why not drop her at your mother’s earlier before you went or even the next morning? Was it because you knew you planned to go home and shoot Cedric and didn’t want her to see it? She’d already be safe somewhere else just in case things went awry maybe?”

Yes , I thought. That was exactly why.

“Objection, leading,” Bashar stated calmly, and Emilia put her hand up to say she understood.

“Sustained,” the judge said anyway.

“So, Ms. Chase, you dropped your daughter off and went home hoping to have a regular night? If that is the case, why did the detectives see a half-packed suitcase. Were you planning something?”

“I was. I was going to leave him.”

“When Cedric had a contract, what time would he typically get home?” she inquired.

“Depends on the job.”

“Okay. Well what time did he get home when working the job he had around that time?” She gave me a fake smile again.

“Like between seven and seven-thirty usually. But he’d come home earlier on occasion, surprising me.”

“Right. Okay, so if you knew what time he got off, majority of the time, why not plan this escape prior to that?” She locked her hands behind her back, awaiting my answer. “Why wait until he would be getting home to start packing?”

“I was at work.”

“Ms. Chase, I looked you up and talked to some people. You were a very dedicated employee with insurmountable vacation and sick time. You could’ve easily taken a half day for something as important as escaping your abuser.” She used air quotes around abuser.

I hated this bitch but had to commend her at the same time.

“I didn’t?—”

“It’s because you wanted to be there when he got home so you could shoot him. You wanted to goad him into an altercation so you’d have reason to kill him.”

“Objection—”

“Yes, I did!” I cut Bashar off and watched everyone, including his, eyes mushroom in shock. “I planned in advance to shoot his ass because I wanted to be free and get the fuck away from him before he killed me and possibly killed my daughter! Because I knew as long as he was alive, I would never get away from him! I didn’t care about going to jail at that point. All I gave a fuck about was possibly saving my life and making sure my daughter didn’t grow up with an abusive father!

“I was tired of living in fear, hoping he didn’t break a fucking rib, and I would have to act like I wasn’t in pain at work all day. Or hoping he didn’t mistakenly slap me too hard, leaving a mark because then I would have to pretend I was sick or mad with my mother and sister so they wouldn’t invite me anywhere!” I started to tear up. “I wanted to be able to go to sleep and wake up in the middle of the night to pee! I wanted to fall asleep instead of being drugged and waking up to realize I’d been violated sexually.

“So yes, I planned it! I went to the gun range, I purposely waited until he got back, and I shot him, hoping to kill his ass because if I didn’t, he would kill me! If I didn’t, he’d be the one you would be prosecuting for killing me and possibly my baby because law enforcement doesn’t give a fuck about women being abused until they’re being lowered into the fucking ground! I hate that I only paralyzed his bitch ass!”

“Alright!” The judge banged his gavel, and I noticed as I talked more, Counselor Emilia’s smug expression faded slowly. I could tell by her eyes that she believed me. “Let’s take a recess now. Ms. Chase, one more outburst like that and you will regret it.”

I nodded curtly, chest still heaving from yelling. I was suddenly regretting my outburst, knowing I had probably disappointed Bashar. He’d worked so hard on this case, and I had just most likely ruined it.

As soon as we got outside, Bashar led me into a private room.

“I’m so sorry, Bashar.” I pleaded with my eyes as I looked up into his. “I know I wasn’t supposed to?—”

“Nah, that was perfect.” He smirked. “They needed to see that because as you may or may not have noticed, the jury is mostly women. And the few niggas on the jury were raised by single mothers, so that explosion is gon’ affect their asses heavily.” He smirked, and I did the same.

Chuckling, I asked, “Did you somehow make sure the jury was comprised of those kinds of people?”

“Maybe.” He shrugged, following it up with a wink before the door came open, Analicia, my mother, and Asif walking in.

“I never wanted any brothers, Bashar, heard too many bad reviews, but if I could pick one, it would be you, hands down.”

He laughed at my statement just as my little sister walked up to hug me, then kissed her husband before nuzzling into his side. My mother hugged me tightly, before moving out the way for my man. He stared down into my eyes once he pulled me in and kissed me slowly.

“You aight?” he asked.

“I wasn’t, but now I am. I think the word vomit helped me a little bit. You better calm down though.” I stared up at him. “I could see you mean mugging him the whole time.”

“I’m trying, love, but the more I hear, the harder that shit gets,” he admitted.

“It’s almost over, bruh. Then you can do you.” Bashar patted his shoulder.

“Let me rap with you real quick,” Asif told his brother before kissing me and walking out.

The door was propped open, so right in my line of vision, I could see Jacinta pushing Cedric’s wheelchair by. Thankfully, they were across the big ass hall, so they didn’t see us.

“God.” Analicia scoffed, right along with my mother.

“She’s not with him by choice,” I said, feeling stupid for defending her. Though I felt like Jacinta had an easier out than me, maybe there was shit I didn’t know. I was sure people once thought the same of me.

“Oh, she’s not?” My mama raised a brow.

“No. She came to me saying she wants to get away but doesn’t know how.”

“Um, tip his ass over in a pool and run,” Analicia replied before we all broke out into laughter.

“I get that she may be going through it, but I will never forgive her for trying to make you out to be like Bashar’s ex,” my mother said.

“Right!” Analicia bucked her eyes. “Talking about you threatened to kill yourself if Cedric left you. I was like, no this nigga didn’t use my man’s story.”

We cracked up, shaking our heads as Lisara and Prime came in, hugging me.

We chatted for a little longer, then used the bathroom before it was right back to it. Afterward, Asif and I picked up Sophie, then Prime treated us all to a private early dinner.

Later that night…

Asif and I were laid up in front of the fireplace in his bedroom, me lying on his chest, enjoying the smell and comfort of him along with the plush loveseat.

The colder months had approached, and though LA was typically even in weather year-round, the cold nights had become much colder than usual.

“You did a good job today, baby.” His fingers brushed the bare skin of my back as he spoke.

“I did? Even though I blew up?” I pressed my chin into his abs to look up into his sexy face. I half smiled as I posed my question, but Asif didn’t return it.

Moving an errant strand of hair from my face, he said, “Some of that shit you told, I ain’t know. Nigga tried to drown you? Why you ain’t tell me everything?”

“Don’t like talking about it. I hate I have to do it now, but I know it’s in order to keep myself out of jail.” I swallowed hard. “It was a scary time, and when I talk about it or describe it in great detail, I get flashbacks, and I don’t like the feeling.”

He nodded slowly, taking me in for a minute.

“I can’t wait until this shit is over. It’s like I can’t think about shit else other than getting that nigga up out of here.”

“I know.” I kissed his abs. “Just a little bit longer.” I trailed my kisses downward. “For now, you can think about something else.” I removed him from his sweats, immediately taking him into my mouth.