30. Asif

Sitting on the couch, I stared at the stupid ass show Milan had left on the TV, waiting for her to conclude her shower. When I heard the bathroom door open, I stood up and started toward the hall leading to the back, just as she stepped out.

“Asif! What the fuck! Why do you keep breaking into my place?”

“Why you keep popping up every-fucking-where? I think we even.” I started toward her.

“Yeah, well you scared the shit out of me.” She watched me as I neared her in the dark hallway that was only lit up by the light coming from the bathroom. “What’s up?”

“I wanna talk.” I started back toward the living room. “Come here.”

“Okay, let me get dressed and?—”

“Nah, I don’t have all fucking night. Come on.”

Milan hesitated but eventually tightened her robe then came toward me and into the open floor plan kitchen.

Looking scared as fuck, she said, “Listen, I apologize for what I did, coming to the theme park. When I saw Unique saying he was there, I knew you would be, too, for his birthday, and just couldn’t help myself.” It wasn’t long before the waterworks started. “I don’t know why, but I can’t get over you, and I hate her.”

I didn’t say anything as I turned on the stove, watching the flames rise.

Milan’s eyes squinted in confusion, but before she could ask, I had her wrists behind her back and in my hand, while my other gripped the back of her neck, guiding her toward the fire as she hollered out.

“If you ever in yo’ fucking life pull some shit like you did the other day, or anything that results in you bothering me and my girl, or any-fucking-body I love, bitch, I will murk you.”

“Asif! Okay, okay! Please, oh my gosh! Please!” she begged, crying hard as fuck, eyes wide as saucers, face centimeters from the flame. Milan cared about her looks more than anything so having a burnt up mug was just about the worst thing that could happen to her vain ass.

“I should burn yo’ shit up.”

“No, I swear to God! You will never hear from me again! Please!”

I let the flame burn her ear a bit as she hollered bloody murder, then tossed her ass off to the floor. As I cut the fire off, she hurried to her feet and ran so fast, she slipped and fell on her ass. Wasting no time as if I were chasing her, she got back on her feet sporting a brown shit stain on the back of her white waffle material robe, and darted to her bedroom, shutting the door and locking it, all while crying.

Now by myself, I laughed a little bit at her scary ass and how frightened she looked. It was no shock to me that she’d shitted on herself.

Peeping her TV screen once more, I left out, doubting I would have issues with her stupid ass again. But if I did, she was dead.

“You looking good sitting over there, baby,” I told Anastazia as she sat on the couch in my office while Sophie busied herself with one of the books, having ripped more than a few fucking pages.

“Asif, do not start.” She smiled, beautiful ass, as I walked over that way. “It’s too busy out there, Sophie is far from a nap, and just… no. Asif!” She shrieked when I picked her up and put her thighs around me. My mouth drifted to her breasts that looked perfect as fuck in the short ass orange dress that tied around the back of her neck. I loved how orange shit looked on her pretty brown skin.

“I ain’t gon’ ever get tired of fucking you.” I sucked her lip as she hung her arms around my neck.

A knock sounded off on my office door, so I told Diamond she could come in after placing Anastazia on her feet. I still couldn’t forget the shit Unique told me, so I always found myself trying not to smile and shit when Diamond came into the room.

“A woman is here claiming to be your mother. I told her she needed to make an appointment, and she got pretty rude. I know Mrs. St. Thomas is your mother, so I didn’t know what to say.” Diamond exhaled like she couldn’t keep up.

“Go ahead and send her in. Thanks.”

Diamond gave me a curt nod and slipped out, closing the door.

“You sure were all smiley when her ass walked in,” Anastazia commented, putting Sophie’s things into the baby bag.

“Just some shit my brother told me. But where you going?” I asked, smirking since she was staring up at me with a slightly hiked eyebrow.

“I will be back.” She took the book from Sophie and closed it.

“I’ll clean all that shit up.” I halted her from picking up the pages Sophie had torn from the floor. “I don’t want you to go though,” I said as the door opened, letting me know Diamond was bringing Nori.

“I will be back, baby.” Anastazia giggled, leaning up on her toes to kiss me before I pecked Sophie’s forehead. “Gonna run some errands, and then when I come back, we can have lunch.”

“Dessert too?”

“Later.” Anastazia focused behind me, and I knew it was on Nori. “How are you, Nori?” She started toward her.

“Just fine.” Nori’s eyes took my girl in jealously before looking at Sophie.

“Hi!” Sophie waved. “Bye!” she threw out as her mother started for the door.

“Well, nice seeing you again, Nori.” Anastazia left out, so I gestured for Nori to sit down, even though I really didn’t want her to.

I was hoping her house was the last time I saw her ass, but I knew deep down she would seek a nigga out again. She was too hungry for that bread to let me go with no parting words.

“I don’t really like her.” Nori scrunched her nose. “She reminds me of Lisara, ready to steal any man and force him to be a step daddy.”

“And what would make you think I give a fuck what you think about anybody or anything?” I chuckled at the thought, letting my eyes slowly drift away from the scenery outside of my office and toward hers.

“I know, but I don’t want that life for you, having to take care of another man’s child or children. How many does she have?” She frowned.

“You ain’t seen me since I was nine years old, and all of a sudden, you got input on what you want for me out of life?” I couldn’t help but to snicker a bit at her ass. She was delusional for real. “I’m a grown ass man. Anything could’ve happened to a nigga, and you just now coming around to see me yet claim to care about how my life will turn out.”

“I was put away for a long part of that, and you can blame your father for it because?—”

Waving her off in irritation, I said, “Man, I don’t wanna discuss, rehash, and talk about all this other shit. Fuck you come here to say? I don’t got long.” I sat down on the couch, leaving a seat in between us.

She cleared her throat and nodded like she understood, smoothing down her dress some.

“Firstly, I wanted to say that I apologize for the way Brian came at you. The stepfather comment and asking you for a loan at a family dinner was uncouth.”

Sitting up, resting my arms on my legs, I said, “Look, you came around me because you saw I inherited this position at the bank and thought it’d be an easy fucking lick. You ain’t count on me being the type of nigga I am though. You ain’t been around me in so long you was still picturing a nine-year-old boy who would nod and say okay to whatever the fuck you told him. This shit you doing is all about money, and I’m telling you right now, you not getting shit.” I turned my head to look her ass in the eyes again.

“Asif—”

“I was actually hoping, a very small minuscule ass part of me, that you would be different. That you had grown and was maybe a bit remorseful for being such a horrible ass mother to me, but I realize you just not a good person.” I shook my head at her, holding onto her gaze. “Some people do bad shit, but they still good people. You not like that. Everything you do is with malice ’cause you a bad person at the end of the day. Yo’ intentions ain’t ever good because it’s not in you. You rotten from the inside, and ain’t no changing that shit.”

“That is not true! I love you and always have, but I just didn’t know how to show it!”

“It don’t take that much to love somebody you naturally love, Nori.” I shrugged. “Or maybe it does for some people, bad people like you. I’ve always been a means to an end for you, something to help you achieve something else. When I was a kid, I was there for you to keep my father around, keep ya claws in him. Now, I’m a way for you to live the way you used to when you was fucking with him.” I scoffed, running my hand down my face.

Though I had a great mother back at home, this shit right here was hard. Seeing Lisara love her sons so easily used to have me wondering what the fuck was wrong with me. I didn’t get it. Now, I see it was never me; it was Nori.

She wasn’t built to be a mother, a parent period, which was a hard ass job I was seeing. Putting a person before yourself at all times and loving them unconditionally wasn’t something every person could do. It took a strong muthafucka to be a parent, and Nori was too weak and selfish to perform the job.

“I don’t care what you say or what they’ve made you believe, Asif, but I love you.”

“Can’t nobody make me believe shit. There you go still thinking I’m a fucking kid.”

“Well, you need to listen when I say I love you and always have. I’m going to do better if you just allow me to.” She scooted closer.

“When is my birthday, Nori?”

“Huh?” She frowned, giving me my answer. Anytime a muthafucka acted like they didn’t understand a simple question, it was because they didn’t know the simple fucking answer.

“Shit, how old am I?” I laughed, knowing she had no idea. I’d suspected it when I revealed that I was nineteen when she got out of the asylum, and she hesitated a bit like she didn’t know that. “What did I like to eat when I was a kid? What did I like to do?” I went on, and when she just stared at me, mouth opening and closing like she couldn’t decide on what to say, I blew up. “You gave birth to me, and you can’t fucking tell me what day it happened!” I snapped, and she jumped back some. “Get the fuck out.” I stood, calming down. She had me acting out of character, and I wasn’t fucking with it.

“Asif, wait, baby?—”

“Get out, Nori, or I swear to God I won’t go as easy on you as my pops did. Where I send you, you won’t be able to come back from.”

Her misty eyes drank me in for a minute before she snatched her bag from the couch and stomped out, slamming the door behind her.

Falling back onto the couch, I grunted while running my hands down my face.

If I never saw her ass again, it’d be too fucking soon.

One of Yolani’s songs played softly over the St. Thomas Financial Gala where we’d be officially announcing the Black Homeowner loan as well as the Black Business Owner loan and its requirements. It was the weekend, but the application would go live Monday morning, and I couldn’t wait. It was time to put my people back on.

“This is so nice, son.” Lisara walked up to hug me. “And you look so good together.” She hugged Anastazia.

“I appreciate that, Ma.” I smiled at her as my dad came over to hug my girl and then slap hands with me.

“You want something from the food bar?” Anastazia asked, and I shook my head before pecking her, then she was off.

My dad’s greedy ass followed, heading right over to the table carrying the best of the best. Since he didn’t have to give a speech or nothing tonight, I knew he was gon’ eat his weight in pork chops.

“Old man better ease up on the pork,” I joked.

“I told him that, and he says he can’t live without them.” Lisara simpered before we chuckled. My father used to have a strict diet back in the day, because of his cancer, but I guess being in a happy relationship had him switching that shit up.

I put my hand on top of hers and clutched it, making her pause sipping on her champagne.

“It’s nothing bad,” I said, seeing the worried look on her face. “I just want you to know I appreciate you, Ma. You make it look easy with all of us, and I know it’s not. Even more so now than before. Not everybody is built to be a mother and a phenomenal one at that.”

“Aww, thank you.” She touched my hair and leaned up to kiss my cheek, gripping my hand tighter. “What made you say this though?”

“It’s true.” I shrugged, sipping my drink.

“It is, and I know you always felt this way, but something seems a little different.”

Staring at Dustin, one of the loan officers, making his speech, I shrugged. “Being around Nori made me realize she for real never cared, and not even intentionally; she just couldn’t bring herself to do it. I was a chess piece then and even now. So, I wanted you to know that I always appreciated you, but now even more so.” I finally gave her my eyes.

“I hope you know it’s her who is missing out.” She continued caressing my locs. “And she doesn’t deserve to come into your life this late in the game and experience the man you’ve become. She gets no credit, only Chianti.”

“You too.” I kissed her face.

“I mean, of course me. I was trying to throw your father a bone. I did all the work with you.”

We laughed just as Anastazia and my pops came back to the table. The laughter extended when I saw this nigga had two fried pork chops on his plate.

“I know you didn’t want anything, but they had pecan pie cups, and you love pecan pie.” Anastazia smiled up at me as my mom went in on my dad’s choice to grab two pieces of pork. “What?” she asked since I was just staring down at her.

“I love you, for real.”

“I love you too.” She brightened before tilting her head back for a kiss.