21. Asif

ONE WEEK LATER…

I drummed my fingers on the table as I waited for my mama to enter the restaurant. It was a Tuesday, so the place was pretty sparsely populated, which was good and bad. I didn’t want too many muthafuckas seeing me with her, in case shit went left, but at the same time, I didn’t have to worry about being eavesdropped on if shit went left.

Hearing the hostess of this hotel eatery speak made me look up from my phone to see my mother. I still recognized her, and to my surprise, she looked good, too fucking good. She looked like her life hadn’t missed a beat, and for some reason, that shit pissed me off. I guessed I wanted her ass to be going through it, knowing how she did me then abandoned a nigga, but I guessed God had other plans for her ass.

“Nori.” I stood as she reached the table, pulling out her chair.

“I can’t have a hug?” She paused. Shit was weird seeing her with the same hair color she always had of golden brown. She’d aged a bit, as expected, but nothing surprising.

“I’m good on that.” I sat down, waiting for her to do the same.

As soon as she did, but not without scoffing, a waiter approached to take our drink orders. I let Nori order an appetizer, then her meal, before I put mine in.

“You are just like Chianti, look just like him too.” She smirked, and I was failing to see what was so funny or happy about this occasion that would call for a fucking smirk or smile. “Being a gentleman even when you don’t like someone, that was this M.O.”

“Where the fuck you been?” I got right to it, not in the mood for all this other shit she was talking about.

“Well…” she paused when the waitress returned with the drinks and the appetizer, then continued when she pranced off, “since I’ve been out of the ward, I’ve gotten married, and I have a daughter.” She grinned, unlocking her phone in search of a picture.

I was too floored to even take in the photo when she flipped the phone around to show me.

“A biological daughter?” I quizzed.

“Yep. Blaire. She’s six years old now. Time flies.” She blushed before putting her martini glass to her lips.

I chuckled a bit, taking a sip of my own whiskey. My intention coming in this bitch today was to remain cordial and keep shit cool, but I couldn’t. Not after knowing she ran off and created a whole new fucking family without even sending a message through pigeon to a nigga.

Opening my mouth, I froze for a beat, then said, “How the fuck you have a new kid and husband and ain’t said shit to me this whole time? You treat Blaire the same way you treated me?”

Gulping more of her alcohol, she replied, “I didn’t reach out to you, Asif, because honestly, I was embarrassed of the way I treated you when you were a child. I was a terrible mother, and I figured you were better off and didn’t want anything to do with me. You had a great father, and I knew Lisara had been a better mother to you than I could’ve ever been.

“But then,” she ran her finger along the rim of the glass, “I couldn’t stand it any longer.”

“Oh, after seven fucking years, huh?” I laughed.

“Seems long, but it really wasn’t. Time flew, like I said, but every day was unbearable, and I always thought about you. So Brian, my husband, told me to just reach out. He said I would regret it if I didn’t try, so I did. I saw you were now working for the bank, and I used it as a way to reach out to you because you don’t answer social media messages.”

“Aight, so what you want from me?” I sat back, eyeing her over the waitress’s arms since she was now here setting down the steaming hot food.

“A relationship, Asif. I know you have Lisara, assuming Chianti is still with her…”

“He is.”

“Right. So I don’t want to infringe upon that, but I do want something with you. Yes, she has done a lot for you and been there for you, but I am your mother. I carried you, I birthed you, and you have my DNA. So I want you around. I’d like you to meet Blaire and Brian… and for us just to have something but much better than what we used to have.” She began slicing her steak.

“Why the fuck were you like that when I was coming up?” I wasn’t really in the mood for the burger I’d ordered.

She kept quiet for a bit, slicing her meat up but then exhaled heavily and said, “To be honest, baby, I never wanted to be a mother. I got pregnant under the advice of your grandmother, whom you’re too young to remember, and kept you because she told me to as well.”

“To keep my pops.”

“Yes.” She peered up from her plate momentarily but then promptly shifted her eyes back down. “It worked. He was so happy because he knew he couldn’t have any more children, and he seemed to be so elated and happy with me for having gotten pregnant. So as time went on, I was happy , too, but then you were born, and Chianti was better, so he got right back to working odd hours. I was with you all day, and babies are not easy, but they’re especially difficult when you have them for any other reason than because you wanted to. But it kept Chianti, so I was fine for the most part.

“Then as you started to get older, Chianti began pulling away from me, always complaining about the type of mother I was and the type of girlfriend I was, and I began to despise you. You were supposed to be this thing that solidified me in his life and made everything okay, but you weren’t. I could tell Chianti would still leave me, and now, even worse, I had you. So I took my frustrations out on you, and then when he… he met Lisara,” she cleared her throat like it took everything to say her name, “I just completely lost control and was spiraling. It made me hate you even more.”

I wanted to gut her ass, but at least she was keeping shit real.

“No wonder you tried to have her killed.” I shook my head, sitting back in my chair after eating one measly ass fry.

“Um… yeah, I guess you could say that.”

I could tell she was surprised I knew that tidbit. Only reason I did was because we all wanted to know what happened to Lisara’s cousin Sarika that she often mentioned and had dedications to in her shops.

“You know her cousin, who had nothing to do with shit, died instead, right?”

“I do.” She nodded. “I was a different person back then, Asif. I didn’t have a life outside of Chianti, and she was taking everything from me.” She reached across to touch my hand, but I moved it, making her take pause before speaking. “You saved my life, though, because had I not been your mother, your father would’ve killed me for what we did.”

“We?”

“My best friend, Tangie. Maybe you don’t remember her.”

“Vaguely,” I responded.

“She wasn’t as lucky as me.” She started to eat some of her food as I sipped on my drink that wasn’t even strong enough at the moment. “How is your life now? You have kids? A wife? A girlfriend?” She beamed.

Digging into my jean’s pocket, I said, “’Preciate you reaching out, but I gotta let you know if I’m gon’ allow you back into my life and shit. That includes telling you about anything I got going on.”

“I understand. I hope you decide to let me make everything up to you.” She watched me as I stood up dropping cash onto the table. “You’re leaving?”

“I am.” I polished off my whiskey. “That should cover the meal and dessert, if you interested.”

With that said, I walked off and out of the restaurant and hotel completely. Once I was in my whip, I started it up and immediately dialed my pops.

“What’s good, boy? Coming over?” He picked up, excited.

“Hell nah. So whatever project you working on, you on ya own, old man.”

Laughing, he said, “Damn. Aight.”

“I just left eating with ya baby mama.”

“Stop calling her that shit, Sif.”

“Ain’t that what she is?” I grinned, knowing it fucked with him.

“More like a host or some shit, ’cause she was never a mother.” He exhaled. “What she talking about?”

“Some bullshit. All I know is I don’t trust it. She been frolicking for seven years, and all of a sudden, she just couldn’t hold back anymore? Aight. She up to some shit. I ain’t figured it out yet, but I will.” I shook my head. “I’m only telling you ’cause you swear a nigga is overly suspicious and always jumping to fucking conclusions, but I ain’t been wrong yet about shit.”

“Very true. I mean, Nori had her moments of being cool, like holding shit down while I was sick as fuck, even when pregnant, so she got it in her, but it never fucking lasts,” he explained, but I wasn’t hearing it. “What you need me to do?”

“I want you to see her.”

“Nah, young nigga. You know my wife?”

Laughing, I said, “I don’t mean alone, Pop. Chill out. I mean as a unit, including Ma. That way, y’all both can get a read on her, tell me if I’m tripping. You don’ known her longer than me, and if I ain’t mistaken, she went to school with Ma, so she has too.”

“True.” He groaned. “Aight, we can do that. I just need to run it by Lisara.”

“Cool.”

“I want you to know, Sif, that though I think you are overly suspicious of every-fucking-body and everything, that’s what makes you a better man and businessman. You gon’ avoid a lot of bullshit that way.”

“I was right about Grady’s ass by the way.”

“See.”

“Correction, though; I ain’t suspicious of Anastazia.”

“You shouldn’t be, but don’t cross her, or she gon’ pop you.”

He and I cracked up.

“That’s how I like my women anyway.”

“Me too. Keep a nigga in check when he need it every now and again.” We both chuckled. “Glad that’s who you chose though, Sif. I like her. Pretty, smart, low-key—that’s what you need.”

“I do. She make a nigga wanna put on one of them corny ass turtlenecks and take Christmas pictures with her and shit.”

My father chortled loudly.

“Make you wanna play step daddy ASAP, huh?”

“Already am, shit. Real daddy, actually. Get that nigga up out of here and away from my fucking family.”

My father cracked up and said, “Exactly what Lisara’s ass had me on, as you can tell.” After laughing, he said, “But I will get back with you when Lisara gives me her answer.”

“Aight.”

Once I hung up, I let out a breath. I wanted my peoples to tell me I was wrong about this Nori shit, but deep down, I knew it wouldn’t even fucking matter. I was never wrong when I had a feeling about a muthafucka, and this was no different.

DAYS LATER…

As I studied the mockups of the loans Boris had sent me, my office phone rang. I chuckled, thinking about the shit Unique told me of Diamond but smothered it as I put the phone to my ear.

“Asif.”

“Hey, you have a visitor here by the name of Milan Fellows. Should I send her back?”

Dropping the phone from my face for a second, I thought about it before picking it back up and saying, “Go ’head.”

Shaking my head, I waited for the soft knocks before Diamond opened the door and waved for Milan to enter. She switched in wearing a tight ass skirt and top that was barely holding onto her titties. I nodded for Diamond to close the door instead of offering Milan any refreshments, and she obliged.

“Hi.” Milan sat down, taking my office in while holding her purse in her lap.

“You better have a hell of a reason for showing up here right now, Milan.”

“Well, you don’t answer the phone or text back anymore.” Her voice shook, and the tears had started to well up al-fucking-ready.

“Why you here?” I asked dryly, wishing I wasn’t in this bank right now so I could yoke her ass up. Showing up to my business like this had me hot on another fucking level.

Fidgeting with her eyes in her lap, she said, “I came here because I needed to tell you that I’m pregnant.”

“By who?” I asked calmly.

I never hit Milan raw, at least not in her pussy, only other places when we would fuck at her crib, and she’d claim to have no condoms. The first time she tried that shit, I told her if she ain’t have one, I would have to leave or fuck her in the ass, and she agreed to the latter. I was shocked, to say the least, thinking she would’ve let a nigga go or pull the condom out, but I was wrong. After that, she would occasionally be on her freak shit and want me to do it, trying to be a pleaser to a nigga that wasn’t hers.

“You, Asif.” She sniffled. “You are the only man I’ve been with in the past year. You’re the one who has been dipping in other bitches this whole time.”

“You choosing to remain ‘faithful,’” I used air quotes, “to a nigga that ain’t promised you shit is on you.”

“So you would’ve kept fucking with me if I let another nigga smash? Yeah right, Asif. You want what’s yours and don’t like other niggas messing with it.”

“You right, but not when it comes to this shit we had going on. It wasn’t exclusive. If you wanted to fuck another nigga, you could’ve done that, and I would’ve still been fucking you when I wanted to. I don’ hit plenty of bitches that ain’t loyal to me, ’cause they not mine, and I don’t give a fuck. Long as I’m not raw dogging and not licking on that shit, you can do whatever the fuck you want with it. It ain’t mine.”

“Whatever.” She scoffed, rolling her teary eyes. “I don’t believe you.

“That’s yo’ fucking problem, Milan, not listening to what the fuck I’m telling you. We not like that. I don’t feel that way about you, and I tell you that shit all the time, yet you hear what the fuck you wanna hear.”

“Regardless, I’m pregnant and it’s yours. Ask around, and no nigga can say they’ve fucked me since I’ve been fucking you.”

“Where the test?” I stroked my beard.

“I didn’t bring it with me because I didn’t think you wouldn’t trust me. I figured you knew how loyal I was to you.”

Chuckling in an irritated fashion, I said, “Milan, you may have been loyal with ya pussy, but you wasn’t loyal in any other capacity. A bitch loyal to me don’t shake her ass on other niggas and goad them into commenting on her in a sexual manner. A woman loyal to me don’t seek validation from any other nigga but me. So while I may have been the only nigga running up in you, and that’s a big fucking maybe, don’t preach to me about no fucking loyalty. Loyalty is about more than what you say out yo’ fucking mouth.”

“Asif—”

“Same time, any woman I’m not in a relationship with and ain’t pledged my own loyalty to, gon’ have to run me a DNA test, and I gotta see that fucking pregnancy test too. Once I see that, we can get a DNA on the unborn. I ain’t trying to wait until it get here.”

Shaking her head, she whimpered a little before snatching a tissue off my desk and dabbing her eyes. “Is your loyalty pledged to Stazi?”

“Absolutely.”

She scoffed again and shook her head.

“She know you were trying to fuck Bianni? Does she know you were still fucking me while trying to get with her? Letting me suck you off while you talked to her on the phone.”

“I never tried to fuck Bianni?—”

“How do I know that?”

“’Cause if I tried, I would’ve succeeded. You so fucking stupid you don’t even realize when muthafuckas in yo’ circle is hating. That ho been wanting to top me off since the beginning and doing her best to put you on my shit list just ’cause I won’t dig her out. And you were falling right into her fucking trap, about to get yo’self possibly murked or cut the fuck off completely.” I kept it real, watching Milan drop her head momentarily. “I may have been fucking you, but I wasn’t with Anastazia, not like I am now, and I was texting her while you sucked me off, different shit.”

“Not really.”

“And you better not say shit either. Try even a little bit to make Anastazia think I been fucking on you this whole time and I’m gon’ smoke you, Milan. That’s on everything I fucking love. I will dead you with no muthafuckin’ remorse if you make that woman doubt me.”

I was serious as a fucking heart attack too. If Anastazia stopped fucking with me over Milan’s big ass mouth, I would be on some murder shit.

Her eyes darted around my face like a fucking pinball machine as she processed my words. I could see a slight hint of astonishment.

“Wow,” she whispered. “So if this was her right here saying this, it’d be a celebration and not an interrogation, huh?”

“What you think? Stop asking shit you know the answer to but really don’t wanna know the answer to, Milan.”

“I hate you, for real.” She shook her head. “I love you so much I fucking hate you, Asif!” she screamed. “You don’t give a fuck about me! You used me until you found another bitch, and that’s fucked up! You knew how I felt about you and you just?—”

“I just what?” I stood. “Told you the fucking truth? Let you know every fucking chance I got that it was never gon’ be you? Suggested we stop fucking around because, despite yo’ words, I could see you were too fucking invested?” I frowned. “I kept shit real with you, Milan, to prevent this shit, to prevent you feeling like I played with yo’ emotions and shit, but again, you think what you want. You draw yo’ own fucking narrative. You don’t give a fuck about me being with Anastazia. You mad ’cause I won’t still fuck with you at the same time. No woman who love me would be willing to share me.”

“What else am I supposed to do, Asif? I can’t make you stop fucking with her and be with me, so I compromised!”

“Exactly. You can’t make me stop fucking with her , and you know why? ’Cause it’s not you for me, love. When she told me to cut off my roster, I did that shit with no hesitation. The right woman ain’t gon’ have to make much of a fucking peep to get the right nigga to do what he s’posed to.”

“So she told you not to fuck with me?” Milan was seething, missing my whole fucking point.

“Look, get me that pregnancy test, and then we gon’ go from there. We ain’t got shit to talk about or discuss until I get that. Dip.” I walked past her to the door to open it.

Walking toward it and pausing in front of me, she asked, “How down will Stazi be when she learns you got a baby on the way?”

“Not sure. But if she can’t handle it, then that’s not the woman for me. However, I highly doubt that’s gon’ even be an issue for us.”

Milan shook her head with a sniffle and switched off. While I didn’t love Milan, I had love for her out of history and wasn’t trying to have to murk her ass, but I would. Not to mention, I wasn’t the biggest fan of killing females.

Hours later and I was done with my workday, ready to go back to my crib where I knew Anastazia and Sophie were already. That thought alone brought a nigga solace. I didn’t understand how niggas had shit like this and fucked it up. Same time, I understood why niggas took certain shit to the grave in order to hold onto it. I would be sick as fuck if I lost this dynamic I had at the moment.

As soon as the elevator to my penthouse opened, the smell of some good ass food hit me as I spotted Sophie and Anastazia on the floor coloring. Baby girl loved to color, and I made a mental note to get some shit to nurture that.

“Hi.” Anastazia sat up, glowing and smiling. Her curly hair was clipped up at the top with a little bit hanging down her back.

I couldn’t respond immediately as I took her in, in one of my shirts and some of those thigh-length shorts that clung to her sexy thighs.

“Hi, Sif!” Sophie echoed her mama.

“What’s up, pretty girl?” I washed my hands and made my way to Sophie, who was already up and running to me.

Her mother followed, leaning up as much as she could to meet my lips for a kiss.

“Are you hungry?” she asked, and I nodded.

Tugging Anastazia back to me I said, “One more.” After we kissed again I shook my head saying, “Tasting like fucking sunshine and rainbows or some shit, woman.” I smirked as she cracked up, walking off. “ Shit . You fine as hell, girl,” I commented on her walk and she chuckled at me, playfully rolling her eyes.

“How you?” Sophie quizzed, shocking me as I sat down at the table with her.

“I’m good, you?” I laughed, seeing Anastazia do the same as she began frying some shells to accompany the taco meat she’d already made.

“Good.” Sophie nodded, smelling like her baby soap and letting me know she’d just had a bath.

“You think me and ya mama can make a baby as cute as you?” I asked her, setting her on the table as Anastazia chuckled.

“Mmm, yes.” She nodded.

“Cool. You might still be the cutest baby though, ’cause you hard to compete with.” I kissed her small hand as she smiled. “But you mine too, so I can be proud of that.”

“Is she?” Anastazia smiled as she brought the plate of tacos to me and took Sophie so she’d be out the way.

“She yours, so she mine.” I took a moment to pray, and when I opened my eyes, I could see Anastazia was surprised but pleasantly. “Next one gon’ be mine biologically, though, and the next three after that.”

“Four?” She gasped with a grin as she brought me a soda and a snack for Sophie then sat at the table. When I nodded, she said, “Okay. Well, I don’t wanna have any more kids once I turn thirty-eight.”

“I don’t need that much time,” I said before biting the good ass taco, making her giggle. “When all is said and done, you’d be down to change Sophie’s last name?”

“I would, as long as mine is changed already too.”

“Damn, I was hoping me and Sophie would be the only St. Thomases in the house,” I said sarcastically.

“Shut up, asshole. I just wanted to be sure. But yes, I would be okay with that. I never wanted her last name to be Pete.”

“Well, it won’t be for much longer.”

“Cedric would have to be dead for some shit like that to happen though.”

“Light work.” I shrugged. I ate a little more before saying, “I need you to come have dinner with my parents and Nori.”

“Nori, as in your birth mother?” When I nodded, she asked, “Is Lisara coming?”

“She is.”

“I wouldn’t miss it.” Her eyes widened in amusement, and I just shook my head at her nosy ass.

I finished my plate, ate two more tacos, and then got in the shower while Anastazia put Sophie to bed. By the time I was dried off and in boxers, she was in my bed with just a shirt and no shorts. I was hoping that shirt was all she had on.

Climbing in, she welcomed me between her legs, and as I kissed her soft, pretty, good smelling ass, an overwhelming feeling of never losing shit like tonight hit me.

“Come back,” she whispered softly, referencing my suddenly withdrawn ass kisses.

Hovering over her, I said, “When shit first started between me and you, like before we had sex and shit, I was still fucking other women, Milan included.”

“I know.” She nodded, tensing up some.

“Yeah, but even sometimes while we texted and shit, I would be engaged in certain activities. Once while we talked on the phone, too, I was getting head,” I divulged.

That time hadn’t been Milan’s ass.

“What are you trying to tell me, Asif?”

“That. What I just told you. I don’t want nobody surprising you with that shit or thinking they got some shit over you that you don’t know about.”

A soft smile appeared on her face, and I felt relieved as fuck.

“I appreciate that. But as long as you aren’t doing anything and haven’t done anything in the present to ruin what we have right now, I don’t care about past shit.” She kissed me. “I love you. I’m in love with you, and it would take way more than that to make me give this up. I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing, but I really don’t care.”

Not saying anything, I lowered down onto her, relaxing into the passionate ass kiss as my hand ran up her body to fondle her titties. Shoving her shirt up, I kissed and sucked my way down to her exposed pussy, spreading her legs and diving in for dessert.