2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Nick

Seven Days Until Christmas Eve

“Santa, are you even listening?”

I wasn’t, but I wasn’t about to tell my head elf, Bertram, that. He had been with me for years, and he put up with my less-than-professional tendencies, my unusual production line, and my inability to stay out of my head. He was a keeper.

Working in Santa’s naughty adult workshop wasn’t for everyone. It took creativity, inspiration in all the unusual places, and playfulness. How could he expect us to be serious all the time? I couldn’t even imagine how boring our toys would be if we were.

Our job was to provide naughty toys to the adults of the world and help to fulfill their very steamy, very dirty fantasies. It was the best job ever, and when I first discussed creating it, there were several elves who thought I’d lost my mind. Why would we make items for adults? They don’t even believe in us.

Except funny thing about that… once we filled a few wish lists, the word got out and now we were one of the busiest departments here. People from all over the world wrote Santa letters with very specific items on their list. The elves who worked in the intake department often had to take extra breaks, thanks to the inspiration those letters inspired. We were a perfect example of i f you build it, they will cum .

Dildos, handcuffs, and sex toys surrounded us. Most people couldn’t even imagine. We loved to specialize in creating the toys they wished were readily available to be delivered to their home in little brown packages but weren’t yet. It was kind of cool seeing some of our designs showing up on virtual store shelves. We weren’t proprietary about things like that. The more who came, the better, in my opinion.

Creativity was key to our success, for sure. Sugar Plums, my pencil holder was a hollowed-out dildo suctioned to my desk. The list that I checked twice? Well, let’s just say no one cared if people were naughty—that was the whole point. Adults needed a little fun, so why not give it to them?

“Yes, I heard you,” I replied. “I’ve heard you for the past several years. You’ve been telling me I need to find a mate. I need to make an heir.” He was like a broken record about that. “I need to do this. I need to do that. And how many times have I told you I have this well in hand?”

I leaned back into my plush leather chair and propped my boots onto my desk. He meant well, he did. But it was getting to be a real pain in my cookie to have him riding my candy cane like this. Some things were not his business, which was part of the reason I hadn’t kept him informed.

I was doing well at my job, and if I didn’t have an heir, so be it. There was nothing in my job description that required one. That was some old-school garbage, if I ever heard any. Maybe I wanted a cabin full of kids and maybe I didn’t. None of that mattered when it came to me doing my job well.

Bertram crossed his arms over his chest. “Yet here you are, still single. I don’t even know if you’ve been with anyone in all the time I’ve worked for you.”

As if that were even his business. I kept my private life private. Unlike the elves in the workshop, I didn’t make a show of sampling all the goodies. I crafted them. I knew how they worked. Of course I took some home with me. I had my favorites. But that was between me and… me. I was the boss, and the last thing I needed was the elves knowing what toys I enjoyed best.

And besides, there was only one elf I wanted to know about me… the real me. The me that was fun and liked to watch sappy movies and who preferred scones to cookies. The me that enjoyed toys but longed for a warm body to be snuggled with me each night as I went to sleep.

“This is the year, Bertram,” I said, putting my hands behind my head. “It’s the year that my plan comes to fruition. Already, there are things in place that you don’t even know about.”

He scoffed. “Nothing happens in this workshop that I don’t know about.”

“Oh, really?” I raised a brow, tweaking my nose. “Well, I know that a very unique toy has gone missing.”

That caught his attention.

“What?” His eyes widened as he lifted his paperwork, flipping through the catalog of orders we had to fill. “Impossible. We’re on track. There is nothing amiss. Not this close to Christmas.”

“Don’t worry,” I said, a mischievous grin spreading across my face. “I planted that toy, and it’s going to land in the hands of my mate. I will track it down, and all will be well. My mate and I will claim each other before Christmas Eve. Mark my words.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose and rolled his eyes, staring up at the ceiling. My plan, impressive as it was, didn’t seem to draw his interest. He didn’t need to say the words for me to see that. But he didn’t need to see. The plan wasn’t for him—it was for my mate.

“Why can’t you just ask him out on a date like a normal alpha? Why play games?”

I let out a hearty Ho Ho Ho at that.

“How boring. I need to keep my mate on their toes.” And watch him blush and squirm and… great. Now I was stirring in my pants. Hardly the way to get things done, and despite my excitement about a certain elf, work needed to get done. Christmas waited for no one. “Now tell me, what are the reports saying? Are we on track for real?”

Bertram switched back to the professional conversation we should’ve been having in the first place. It was where he was most comfortable. It amused me that he, of all elves, ended up in my department. He was very straight-laced and by the book. It was great for his position, but there were days he had to go home and drown himself in cocoa and wonder why he ever applied.

“We seem on track, yes. Getting the extra help from Santa 35 has made a substantial difference. That new elf is coming along nicely, although I’ve noticed some contention between him and Chester.”

I stroked my long beard thoughtfully. I might be slimmer than other Santa’s — most of my bulk was muscle—but I still had the iconic beard. It looked good, and made the elves think of me as Santa, even with the products we were producing. I considered it part of my professional attire, along with my red coat.

“Yes, I had noticed that as well.” Over the years, Chester had become quite the interesting individual. He had an inflated sense of importance that annoyed many, and there were a few times I’d considered transferring him out of here, but then what? Pass him on to be someone else’s problem? That didn’t seem like a good idea either.

While he was fantastic at his job, he was no better than any other elf on that floor, and he forgot that. That wasn’t a trait the other Santas would appreciate, that was for sure.

“He also seems to think there’s something between him and me, and I can assure everyone that is not the case.” He was so sure of himself that it was outside his understanding that anyone he crushed on wouldn’t be jumping right into his arms. “I’d hate to relocate him for many reasons, but monitor that. I don’t want him bothering Percy—or anyone.”

Bertram raised a brow but nodded. “Absolutely,” he said. “Now, you need to get some rest. Your big day is coming up.”

I rolled my eyes. “As if I don’t already know that.”

Rest was not something I could count on this close to Christmas. I’d rest in January. It was the way of things in this position, and I didn’t mind. Knowing all the sated faces on Christmas morning made the job worth it.

Right now, I had just seven days before my sleigh left the ground with the bag full of goodies. I also had to woo a mate, in addition to completing the regular holiday tasks. It was going to be my busiest season ever, and I could hardly wait.

It was going to be a Merry Christmas indeed.