Chapter 3

Colby

He was a motorcycle club character?

No.

Santa.

Saint Nick.

Either way, it was a good one.

“That’s a great name.” And so much better than what it could’ve been. “Do you like Christmas or just the holidays in general?”

I wasn’t going to assume he’d been reading motorcycle books until he brought that up.

“All human holidays provide insight and joy. However, I find Christmas to be highly entertaining.” He gave me another pat on the head as we made our way to the front of the office. “Humans have a plethora of cultural and religious holidays this time of year. You become happier by giving to others.”

As Saint held the door open, he shrugged. “Although the vibrant lights and colors this time of year may act to manipulate your brains. They are curiously designed.”

We might be fucking with our brains with the flashing lights?

Nope. I wasn’t even going to worry about that.

I liked the flashy lights.

“There’s a lot to like this time of year.” There were worse things for someone to get wrapped up in. “You picked a great name.”

“Thank you, my human.” Saint’s larger limb tightened around me and inched me closer as we headed out into the night. “Do you have any cravings? Humans desire specific foods for a variety of physical and psychological reasons.”

Something had Saint nearly tripping over his tentacles and giving me a wide-eyed look. “Please pick based on happy memories. I do not understand the human act of crying well enough to handle that emotional response in a public setting.”

Oh, poor guy.

“I don’t have any sad food memories.” What kind of guy picked a restaurant he knew would make him upset? “I have happy memories of making Christmas cookies with my mother. We can do that on our next date if you’d like.”

Probably shouldn’t have assumed I’d get a second date, but Saint didn’t mind. I got a hug that brought me right up against him and the way he was petting my head somehow felt more erotic, even though there was nothing inappropriate about it. “You wish to provide me with entertainment and holiday food? That sounds like a wonderful date, my human.”

Hoping I hadn’t somehow asked him to marry me because I’d offered to feed him, I nodded. “I think it’ll be fun.”

When wedding bells didn’t start to play and he didn’t say anything about owning me, I relaxed and let his possessive cuddling continue. He was definitely a give an inch take a mile kind of guy, because he’d caressed nearly every inch of me before I’d remembered he’d asked about food.

“There’s a good seafood place down that way and an Italian place the other direction. I like them both.” The best thing about working downtown was that nice restaurants weren’t hard to find. “Which sounds good to you? I like them both.”

And there was nothing truly filling about holiday-shaped cookies and cupcakes.

His choice didn’t surprise me. “Seafood, thank you.”

Saint steered us in that direction and we’d made it halfway across the plaza in front of the building before I realized something important. “Your coat. Did you bring one?”

“Our temperature regulation is different than for a human.” He seemed pleased that I’d noticed, though. “You are good at caretaking as well.”

“Thank you.” It seemed like the right response, but I felt awkward until I got his head pat.

“You are welcome, my human.” He frowned and reached over to pat the coat I was holding. “I will endeavor to caretake just as well for you.”

He was worried I was cold…right.

“I’m not cold yet. It’s not that windy. I brought it just in case but I promise to put it on if I get cold…or even chilly.” Based on his nod, he seemed to understand cold was worse than chilly. “I won’t be stubborn about that.”

Saint made a quiet hum that seemed to be a thinking noise. “Your sentence indicates there will be other times where you will attempt stubbornness.”

I’d “attempt” meaning I wouldn’t succeed?

Yep, he was a Dom of some sort.

“How about I answer that by telling you that I’m going to like making you happy?” I was being cheeky and his bubbly laugh said he liked it. “We won’t worry about the rest.”

“The rest will be handled through a system of rewards and consequences.” Several of his limbs tightened around me before loosening again. “Human submissives require structure and thrive on verbal or physical rewards and punishments.”

Ugh.

He’d been researching us.

“Technically yes, but I like rewards much better.” And bribes. “And I wasn’t teasing about wanting to please you. I’ve got enough of a praise kink that I’m going to like making you happy.”

“I will do my best to be worthy of being made happy.” He stroked one more time over my head before gently easing most of his tentacles back as we approached the restaurant. “Your safety as well as your mental well-being is very important to me.”

Aww.

Ignoring the fact that it seemed like he’d already decided to keep me, I smiled. “Thank you, Sir.”

It might’ve been the weirdest first date I’d been on in a while but it wasn’t the worst.

“You have distracted me, my human.” He was trying to shake his head and look offended, but he was damned near giggling at getting to play the part. “I do not know your moniker.”

Moniker?

Oh, name. “Colby, Sir.”

“That is a fine name as well.” Giving me a cute side-eye, he frowned. “However, there is the issue of you distracting me. I do not want to reinforce that behavior.”

Hmm.

Giving him a slightly apologetic look, I sighed as I attempted to play along with the scene I thought he was setting up. “I’m so distracting I might need to be punished later.”

Wondering if I’d answered right and he’d gotten it, I waited for his reaction.

“Yes, humans require physical correction at regular intervals.” His liquidy shrug as he clearly threw himself into the scene like we were in a dirty school play made me want to bounce and cheer. “We shall discuss the limits around spankings to see if that would be appropriate.”

Yes!

“I’m…” Shoot. Had to have a sentence. “I’m grateful you’re taking such good care of me.”

He knew funishments were supposed to end in orgasms, right?

“Sometimes that type of corrective physical stuff is best punctuated by…by a strong reward. It helps human brains to associate the important rule with happy things. Like an orgasm, for instance.”

Yep, I was subtle as a train, but Saint didn’t seem to mind based on his grin.

“I am glad you understand the best practices for submissive caretaking.” His cheeky grin was adorable but he gave my butt a firm pat before he moved his tentacles higher again. “I have a thorough education but will admit to having insufficient practical knowledge.”

So he knew about BDSM but hadn’t dated a sub?

Hadn’t dated a human sub?

A human, in general?

“I’m glad you’ve got a good education but I don’t mind that you don’t have the practical knowledge part.” That was better than having learned to be a dick. “As far as I can tell, you’ve got all the important stuff mastered.”

Great chemistry and a willingness to spank would get a Dom a long way.

“Thank you, my human.” Running one tentacle along the back of my head, actually fairly subtly based on how he’d been touching me, Saint looked very proud of himself. “I was advised that it was best to seek practical experience with the sub I wish to mate.”

I wasn’t touching that with a thousand-foot pole, much less a ten-foot one.

“I think waiting until you find the right person is the best way to handle stuff like that in the long run. Humans just…well, get really excited about new stuff and we don’t always remember that.” We just charged right in when something was a novelty.

Or dirty.

“Yes, we have much more patience as a species when compared to humans.” He said it so factually I couldn’t be offended. “Your impulsive nature has created a fascinating world, however.”

Yep, we had porn and lots of food.

Which seemed to be two of the things that they found very curious.

“I’m glad you think so, but you guys are definitely making it more interesting.” In a lot of ways and not just when it came to my to-be-read pile.

Humans were just competitive enough that they were pushing us to be better and they were subtly working in new technology once they figured out what we could explore without turning it into a weapon too easily.

“Our species are complementarily matched.” He said that without a hint of humor even though something about it made me want to smile. “That bodes well for us.”

We balanced each other out…yeah, I had to agree.

But then again, good Doms were generally like that…and there were interesting rumors that said somehow the species was all Dom.

“I will disengage with our discussion on submission and sexual conduct while we are given introductions to our table.” As we reached the door, he paused and opened it for me as I wrangled my brain around the sentence.

By the time we reached the hostess I’d realized what he’d meant, and I appreciated how careful he was. I wasn’t ashamed of my sexuality or what I liked, but we also didn’t need to explain it to the kid seating us at our table.

She was way too young for that and way too female.

Eventually we were seated and had more privacy than I’d expected…so I started to think she wasn’t as innocent as she looked when it came to aliens out on dates.

Saint sat across from me, shifting side to side like he was doing his best to sit straight and look like a badass Dom. “I will endeavor to provide you with location-specific information regarding the staff, my human. Have no fear of interruptions to personal narratives.”

Location specific?

Personal narratives?

“A human is approaching to make introductions and take our beverage order. We will not talk about anything of a sexual nature while he is present. It is considered polite behavior to abstain from that topic.” Saint’s helpful speech would’ve been a bit more helpful if he’d finished it before the waiter arrived.

The way he rolled his eyes said he’d heard something like that before. “Thank you for considering my feelings and our social customs.”

Yep.

The rest of our interaction was just as entertaining but my favorite part was that Saint didn’t seem to understand how cute the whole thing was. He was simply really proud of himself for handling the situation and for understanding that we didn’t talk about sex and spankings in front of the waiter.

Who’d definitely seen a lot of his species by the way they’d interacted.

“I know there’s a big group of your people that live and work in the building beside my workplace, do you live there too?” It made sense to me, and was probably related to how he’d ended up as our Santa, so I was glad when he nodded even though the motion was still odd. “And you guys come down here a lot to eat? I hadn’t thought about you living so close.”

I should have, though.

“Yes, I find the housing to be convenient and it is facilitating my merger into humanity.” Saint made that sound logical as he looked at the menu. “Learning human life skills takes time.”

Yeah, it took teenagers a lot of time to be functional humans and they’d seen our appliances their whole lives.

Looking up from the menu, Saint didn’t seem stressed about how his learning was going. “One of the humans who works for us described it as if a human were to have his conveniences removed and would have to learn to function as a cave man.”

Something about the way he said caveman sounded off, but it made sense. “I hadn’t thought of it that way. Going backward must be hard.”

I wasn’t sure going forward by big leaps would’ve been any easier, though, so I was starting to see why adding their tech to ours was going so slowly.

“It is a challenge.” Saint seemed to appreciate my agreeing with him because he puffed up again. “However, I am mastering the challenge and have found gainful employment as I expand my human social network.”

How long had he been on Earth?

“I don’t know what questions might be rude, so tell me if this is impolite, but have you been here long?” My brain tripped over the question but he didn’t get confused.

“There are what your humans have labeled as a skeleton crew that must stay in orbit.” Saint made it sound simple but I thought it sounded lonely or boring or something incredibly negative. “Staying on board allowed me more time to research human societies.”

Time to research…I could see myself doing something similar.

“No need to rush and be the first?” It was a mix of teasing and trying to get more information, but thankfully, he took it as a prompt to keep talking.

“There are those of my species who must be first. Explorers you would call them.” Saint shrugged like it didn’t make a difference to him one way or another. “I am considered somewhat of an anomaly in that I prefer to learn from others before I step…make steps…before I begin.”

Shifting, Saint nodded but something about his expression tightened. “Yes. That is better.”

“You do a great job communicating.” Better than I could’ve done under similar circumstances. “I understood what you were saying and that makes sense. I think humans are divided up a bit more with their personalities, so I know a lot of people who watch and learn first.”

Hmm.

“I think that’s more considered average for us and the explorers and the ones who jump into things are the anomalies.” They just dragged the rest of us with them. “It lets you think about what you really want first and I like that.”

His head cocked.

Ugh.

The communication in our relationship was going to give me gray hairs.

“Can anyone hear us? Is the waiter close by?” I was facing the wrong direction but relaxed when Saint shook his head in a clear human mannerism. “Okay, um, it makes me feel more confident in submitting to you that you’ve been learning about what you want and what you’re looking for. It would worry me if I was supposed to be the one to lead that part of our relationship. It would be a big responsibility.”

And he got it.

“Yes. I have not heard it described in that manner but it is relatable. The variations in preferences and styles of submission are numerous.” His body shifted like he was settling into the bench and it seemed like a thoughtful movement. “Being able to explore my reactions singularly would help me become more confident in my preferences…especially those that deviate from the norm.”

Deviate?

Our date just kept getting more and more interesting.