Chapter 2

Colby

“No. It was fine.” Better than fine, but telling Jim that didn’t seem like a good idea. “He’s a good Santa.”

No injuries.

No questionable alcohol consumption.

And I’d gotten a date.

“It was fine.” Jim was heading out, so keeping the date part to myself seemed like a good idea. “You head on. I’ll be fine.”

Yep, because I was the type to close down the office Christmas party.

He had every right to be confused, but before he could start asking questions he really didn’t want me to answer, we were both saved by Janet.

Three cheers for HR.

“Oh, Jim.” Her predator-like smile gave me the willies, but Jim lit up like, well, it was Christmas. “I shouldn’t ask this, but I was wondering if you would give me a ride home. I know it’s terribly—”

“Of course.” He cut off whatever fake pushback she was going to give, but she clearly didn’t mind being interrupted judging by her widening grin. “I’d be glad to take you home.”

Yep, there went another bad decision…but it wasn’t mine, so I wasn’t going to worry about it.

Mine was going to be much more fun and end much more erotically as long as I was reading Santa right.

Fingers crossed I was reading Santa right.

But I had to be patient to figure that out, so I mingled a bit more and I pretended to be a good little helper and start putting things away. When the countdown hit zero and I could stop stalking the time on my phone, I decided I’d stacked enough chairs and headed toward the conference room with my fingers and toes crossed, and with my jacket in hand, so there was nothing to slow us down.

“My human.” Santa was wearing a beaming smile and what looked like pieces of a nice suit as he stood just in the doorway. “You have arrived at the correct time. I am very proud of your prompt behavior.”

Fuck.

That was hot too.

Especially the way he ran a smaller tentacle over my head before easing it back.

Words.

Fuck.

I couldn’t just stand there looking stupid.

“Thank you, Sir.” I wasn’t sure if he’d understand the significance of the title, but he puffed up and looked pleased as fuck.

He got it.

Thank God.

The chances of him understanding dates were romantic and should end with subs getting rewards were getting better and better.

“Have you decided to continue submitting to food and communication with me, my human?” Santa’s tentacles were inches from me, but it seemed like he was waiting for consent before he went further.

Someone had explained domination to him.

Yay.

“Yes, Sir. I would like to go on a date with you or schedule when we’re going on it or whatever you were planning.” What had he been planning?

Nope.

Didn’t matter.

“Your options are to consume food with me this evening so we may continue exploring conversation now, or we will schedule a time within seven days to have our date .” He gave me a curious look before I could respond. “Human attention spans are…abbreviated.”

There was no way I’d forget Santa…short attention span or not.

The first thing that wanted to come out was to promise to do whatever he wanted, but if he was an actual Dom, that would not get me what I wanted. So I had to think.

That required oxygen.

Nodding to Santa, I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, which actually made him smile wider.

That had my dick getting harder, but I just went back to ignoring it.

“Are both of those options agreeable to you, Sir? I assumed they were but I realized I should communicate with you about that.” Ha. Brought up communication and made Santa even more pleased.

Had his tentacles gotten closer?

“Yes, my human. That is a very good question, however.” His limbs twitched like he wanted to touch me…well, I was hoping he wanted to touch me. “I will not give you choices that I disapprove of without making that very clear.”

The way he said it made me wonder what kind of choices he’d give me where he disapproved of one of my options, but I wasn’t sure it was the right moment to ask complicated questions.

“Thank you, Sir.” There was something else I was supposed to be telling him. Shit. My date choices. “I’m sorry. I’m slightly distracted. I would like to have our date tonight, please.”

Making me wait would be a bad decision…my brain would implode or explode before we made it to next weekend.

Santa carefully nodded in a very human motion, but after a moment, he looked down at himself. “Have I done something unexpected which distracted you?”

Oops.

“No.” I was going to sound like a horny moron if I couldn’t get my brains under control. “Um, just meeting you was unexpected and I’m really excited about our date. And when humans get really excited, sometimes thinking is hard.”

And difficult.

But I wasn’t sure it was the time to make a dick joke, so I kept my stupid humor to myself.

Perking back up, his limbs went wiggly and excited again. “Humans also face difficulties communicating when they are aroused. Verbal exchanges, especially. Is your stimulated state affecting your decision-making and behavior?”

Yes.

God. He knew I was hard.

Shit.

Ugh.

“Yes, Sir.” Denying it would’ve been confusing since he said it so factually and there was no way to tell him no without making things really complicated…or flat out lying to my date…and hopefully new Dom. “It’s making me distracted. I don’t know if I should apologize or just explain it and leave it at that.”

Santa made a show of cocking his head and humming which was so deliberately human I had to fight back a smile. “We will not begin our relationship by apologizing for typically human emotions or behaviors.”

Yeah, that probably wouldn’t be helpful.

At all.

I was going to end up humaning a lot.

“I should also tell you that I am very proud of you for admitting desire. Humans hide that as well.” His tone said that made no sense to him at all, but he was willing to chalk it up to me being a weird alien.

“I’m doing my best to remind myself that lying to you or trying to downplay that wouldn’t be helpful.” It definitely wouldn’t get me an orgasm at the end of the night either. “I know that…individuals like yourself consider being honest and open about what I’m thinking very important.”

Nano, the alien guy who was running IT at the moment, made that very clear.

He got really disappointed when anyone lied about why their computer was broken. It’d been hard to handle at first because I didn’t like disappointing people, but it’d gotten easier when he’d started dating someone else in the IT department.

It was much easier to disappoint guys I wasn’t interested in and were taken.

“I am pleased you have already learned that about my species.” Tentacles jerked before he sighed. “I must now ask if I may touch you before I forget the importance of that question. Your arousal is distracting, but humans separate arousal and touch.”

Just because I wanted him doesn’t mean he could touch me.

Yep.

Was that something I should apologize for?

“I…” Maybe not? “Yes, you may touch me casually and in ways that won’t get us in trouble with other humans. Like…like culturally or with the police.”

Had that been enough information?

“And just watching your limbs move is kind of arousing so that’s not going away anytime soon.” Oops. Sounded like a fetish. “Um, it’s like a human Dom having really good hands and arms and it’s making me think…things.”

I wasn’t sure if that was any better but it made him smile.

“We are well-matched, my human. I will enjoy touching your body and discovering the ways you enjoy pain and submission.” As my brain stumbled on the pain part, he slowly stroked my head as a larger tentacle wrapped its way around my waist. “I have witnessed humans making pleasure sounds and I am eager to discover what noises you will produce.”

Okay, there was a weirdness to it that couldn’t be overlooked…but it was really hot too.

He wanted to make me scream out my orgasm.

Aliens were awesome.

And aliens needed lots of explanations.

“Once we’ve gotten to know each other a bit more and I know what you want and that we’re compatible, then you can touch me more personally.” Was that clear enough? No. “Sexually, I mean.”

I was going to have to be really specific if I wanted an orgasm at the end of the night.

But Santa did his happy wiggle thing and the limb that was stroking my head shifted to gently stroke around my ear.

Wow.

There was no way he could’ve missed the shiver that raced through me or what his touch did one place in particular, and his pleased grin was slightly predatory. “Your pleasure is rewarding, my human.”

He liked it when I got turned on?

Did it do something to him?

I knew we didn’t have sex the same way, but I’d heard Nano mention something about procreation and recreation being two separate things. That seemed to agree with what I could find on the internet about them thinking making humans come was fun, but I wasn’t sure about the rest.

It really should be more socially acceptable to ask about someone’s views on orgasms.

“I’m glad you like it.” That was all I could think of to say without sounding weird, but it made him happy and I got another pat on the head.

“We shall commence with our date to facilitate communication. Do you have any illnesses or allergies I should be aware of? I must know food-based information as well as any that may impact sexual play.” When my brain kind of stopped again, his expression shifted to something stern and sexy. “The human reluctance to talk about private issues may not interfere in this situation. It is important for caretaking. Humans are fragile .”

Well, he wasn’t wrong, but admitting that a startling amount of our plants could kill us and even stuff that was technically safe would still kill a huge portion of us sounded ridiculous.

“Thank you for worrying about me.” Ha. Got that right and he’d started to relax again. “I don’t have any food allergies and I only have a mild reaction to seasonal pollen early in the summer. So this time of year there is nothing to worry about.”

He was going to hate seeing me sneeze in the summer, though.

“Your planet is…curious.” He made that sound like he wanted to say stupid but was too polite.

“Yeah.” I wasn’t going to argue with him, though. “But it’s a small thing to worry about in the scheme of things. I grew up with a kid who had some crazy allergies. I just sneeze in the summer.”

It definitely could’ve been worse.

Santa didn’t seem like he was willing to admit that, though.

“I will admit to being glad your body weaknesses are not life-threatening.” Shaking his head, Santa’s limb around my waist moved me and herded me out the door. “Your people put added gluten to a startling number of foods.”

Oh.

“And peanuts and eggs and—”

Santa looked like he could’ve kept going, so I saved us both and interrupted him. “Is there anything you shouldn’t eat?”

I managed not to call him Santa, but it was way too close for comfort. “And I forgot to ask your name.”

I wasn’t going to feel bad about that either because he was super fucking distracting.

“Names. Yes. Human designations are fascinating.” Santa seemed to like the new conversation and it was more relaxing which made me happy. “I do not understand how human parents can identify personality characteristics at such a young age.”

Having no fucking idea how parents named kids, I shrugged. “I think it’s fun that you guys get to pick human names.”

The ones I’d seen on TV and even Nano had picked interesting ones to say the least.

“It has been an educational experience as you call it to become knowledgeable in enough human subjects to pick a monicker.” Looking proud of himself, he puffed up again. “I am well cultured in human subjects. Never fear.”

Oh.

He had to basically take a master’s level course on being a human before he could pick a name. Duh. Yeah, that would make him smart enough to brag about.

“I was never worried. You came across as smart right away.” And happy. And sexy. “But I’m glad you found one that you like.”

I couldn’t speak the high school French I’d tried to learn without making my teacher wince. There was no way I could’ve said anything in his original language.

“I did.” He was very proud of it too, that was obvious, so I mentally prepared myself for anything that came out of his mouth.

Based on the gossip I’d heard, one of the guys who worked in the coffee shop down the street was dating a guy named Toaster.

Yep, big smile.

“I am Saint.”