Chapter 27

Kenna

I laid my forehead against the cool wood door, listening for any sound of Dec out on my porch. I'd heard the knocking, even crept downstairs just to be closer to him, though I had zero intentions of actually opening the door. I was angry. Hurt. Confused about my feelings. The amount of overwhelm I'd felt in the bathtub told me I needed time to process everything. I hadn't fully let go of my past before I jumped right into this life in Sunshine Key.

But then there was a scraping noise at the bottom of the door and I looked down to see the edge of something silver on my floor. I crouched down and bit my lip to keep from crying out.

It was my good luck charm.

The one I'd intended to give Debogglan all those years ago. The one I thought I'd lost in the hustle of backstage. I slid it out from under the door and rubbed my thumb over it, memories rushing in. It was still warm from Dec's palm. I closed my eyes and just breathed. Everything hurt and I was so torn and confused I didn't know what to do.

"I'm sorry, Kenna." Dec's gravelly voice came through the door, mere inches away. "But I'm not sorry I fell in love with you."

A whimper was my only response. Clutching the charm to my chest, I stood up and put my hand on the doorknob. Could I see him again so soon and listen to what he had to say? Would he finally tell me the truth? And would that be enough to forgive him? Was I being an idiot for trusting a man so soon after being proven yet again that they frequently lie like a rug?

My ears strained to discern if he'd left the porch. When I heard the scuffle of what sounded like a shoe, I turned the knob and swung the door open, heart pounding.

Dec's head whipped up and the sadness I saw in his eyes nearly made my knees buckle. At least in that we were on the same page. I leaned against the doorjamb, conscious of the fact I wore nothing but a ratty old T-shirt and those tourist shorts Dec hated so much. His hands dropped to his side and he shifted on his boots, looking uncomfortable. I wanted to reach for him and hold him, followed by slapping his oh-so-gorgeous face for keeping secrets from me even after confessing he loved me.

"Can I explain?"

I folded my arms across my chest to keep from doing either of those options. "Oh, now you trust me with your truth?" My voice was accusatory, but held the slightest of wobbles. I'd never stood up to Justin and I didn't intend to let a man run right over me again. Confrontation, despite my crazed scene at work that day, made me nervous.

"That's fair. I deserve that." Dec dipped his head, then raised his gaze to pin me with those deep brown eyes. There were lines at the corners that hadn't been there when he was a famous country singer. His hair was longer and the tan was deeper. I could see how he'd let go of the polished image, but was even more handsome for it. "I just didn't expect for all this to happen. To fall for you, Kenna."

Tears threatened and I swallowed them back. I would not cry in front of him. I'd done enough crying the first few weeks I lived here. "Do you understand how confusing this is for me? A few hours ago I would have agreed that I fell for you too, but now I find out that I never even knew you."

He dropped my gaze, his hands reaching for his back pockets and staying there. "I do, and I'm sorry for that. Sorry I didn't trust you earlier. But you see, trust doesn't come easily for me. I lost my mom when I was just a little kid, making Dad my one and only. He came on tour with me most times, living up to his claim of being my biggest fan. But life on the road was wearing on me. Six albums and too many tour stops to count. I knew something had to change, but I just kept right on doing what everyone else wanted me to do."

He licked his lips and I had to lean in to catch his next words. "There was one night out in San Francisco. I'd just gotten done with a show and I was greeting fans backstage when my whole world collapsed. My assistant came running over to whisper in my ear that Dad had been in a car accident leaving the venue. I got up, ready to sprint out of there and get to his side when my manager ordered me to stay and greet the fans who'd paid for backstage passes."

He released a full-body sigh that held a heavy defeat. "I didn't know if my father was dead or dismembered and that fucker wanted me to keep smiling and posing for pictures."

His head shot back up and there was a fire in his eyes I had to admire. "I told him to fuck off and I left. My dad was, in fact, dismembered. He lost his leg in the accident and spent months in rehab. The guy who hit him? Drunk. Coming from my concert."

My hand flew to his chest before I could second-guess touching him. "Dec." I felt his pain, a living, breathing thing there on the porch with us. That had to have been the night I was waiting backstage to meet him. Why he'd left before we got to meet him and security had us leave abruptly.

He laid his hand over mine and squeezed. "I gave up music after that. I couldn't keep going with something that had nearly taken the one good thing in my life. Couldn't keep putting on a fake smile when I hated every second of performing. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I've been hiding from that failure ever since."

My heart ached even worse now. I stepped over the threshold, needing to be closer to him. Needing to comfort him, even if it made my broken heart worse. "Dec, that's not a failure. You were being asked to do something that didn't align with who you were. You did the very best thing for you and your dad."

I held up the charm I still held in my other hand. "Here. Take this. I always wanted you to have it anyway."

Dec shook his head, looking miserable. "I can't, sunshine. I want you to have the good luck from now on." And then he let go of my hand and stepped back. "I should give you some time, but please know my door is always open. I want to talk once you're ready."

I watched him walk between our properties, over the hedge, and up onto his porch, where he lifted a hand before going inside his house. I fell back against the doorway again, charm clutched to my chest. Dec was right; I wasn't sure I could handle anything else today. After a few long minutes of deep breathing, I headed back inside.

Mom came home just minutes later, talking a mile a minute about the car accident she and Daniel had gotten into today. I waited until she'd poured a glass of wine and taken a long swig before peppering her with questions.

"Are you okay?"

She waved a hand in the air. "Just fine. It was a fender-bender, but Daniel had a little bump on his forehead, so the paramedics were called. He's fine too, by the way," she added when I nearly came unglued.

She told me the rest, including that Dec had been there and he and his father had had words. "You should go check on your man. The poor guy was distraught."

Mom patted me on the head and left the kitchen, singing some bawdy tune under her breath as she headed upstairs with her glass of wine. I sagged against the new granite countertop. Dec must have absolutely lost his shit hearing his father was in another accident. Now that I knew his story, I could see why everything that happened today had been just as unsettling to him as it was to me. Maybe even more so. And yet he'd come over here to give me back my good luck charm, wanting to tell me his whole truth.

My forehead dropped to my clasped hands. I closed my eyes, wondering what to do. I loved Dec, even though he'd withheld information from me. I could understand why he did. And while he should have told me sooner, was I willing to throw away our entire relationship over it? Hell, I'd arrived in Sunshine Key with my own baggage.

Maybe the very best thing I could do for Dec was to officially close the door on my own past. If Dec truly loved me, he'd do the same. Only then could we have a future together.

My eyes flew open and I straightened, inspiration striking like a late-afternoon lightning shower.

"Mom!" I called up the stairs. "I'm going to California!"

But first, I grabbed a potted peace lily of Maeve's and snuck over to Dec's, leaving it and the charm on his doorstep.

The key still fit in the lock, a miracle considering Justin and I hadn't spoken since I left to deal with Aunt Maeve's will. Then again, he was probably too busy with his new girlfriend to bother with things like locks and pesky wives. The place felt odd, like a fever dream of familiarity yet details were twisted and foreign. The mail was strewn across the bartop leading into the kitchen, a mess I never would have left. My umbrella lay on the top of the fridge, an odd place to put it, but yet, it was still my trusty umbrella.

First things first, I hauled two suitcases out of the guest bedroom closet and began dumping all my clothing into them. However, I left the business clothes hung neatly in the closet. I wouldn't be needing those in Florida. Justin could donate or burn them, I didn't care. Considering he'd been the one to break this marriage into a million pieces, he could deal with the cleanup.

It was gloomy outside, typical for fall in San Francisco, so I put on a playlist from my phone to brighten the mood. Books I'd earmarked went into the boxes I'd stopped to purchase at the hardware store on my way in from the airport. I'd had a feeling the boxes Justin shipped out to me earlier in the summer were only a fraction of my things, and today proved me right. Photo albums, kitchen utensils, nicknacks, and my favorite throw blankets. Everything that was mine and I cared about went into the boxes. Jewelry and makeup, nail polish and shoes. All of it got boxed up.

The Kindle Justin had gotten me for Christmas? That fucker was staying.

I was sweating by the time I was done, my hair on top of my head in one of those messy pineapple buns that Dec always said looked cute on me. I surveyed the six boxes and two suitcases, then glanced around the condo that had once felt like home.

"Goodbye, San Francisco. Goodbye, old life."

It felt good to say it out loud. To know that Sunshine Key was my home. Dec or no Dec, I'd make a life there that was my own. It might make things awkward the first few months if Dec and I didn't work things out, but my aunt had known me better than I knew myself. She'd known I'd find myself amongst the summer storms and alligators. I craved the humidity that made my hair turn into springing curls. I needed the warm water at night and the salt on my skin. I wanted to laugh with Char and Laurie, embracing the free spirit in me that reminded me of my mom. I looked forward to managing the Captain's Boat Club, a businesswoman like my aunt. I could be all those things and more. Whatever I chose to be, it was simply up to me and me alone.

I sucked in a deep breath and let it loose, a peaceful smile easily formed in the same room where panic had gripped me so hard just five months before. Funny how you can feel like you're falling apart when really all your pieces are finally coming together the way they're supposed to be.

That was the scene my soon-to-be ex-husband walked into when the front door swung open.

"Kenna?"

My smile froze.

He looked the same. The high-end suit. The perfectly coiffed hair. The Rolex peeking out from the white pressed sleeve. The same utter confidence that oozed from his pores. I'd once fallen all over myself for this man.

Now I felt nothing.

"Justin."

His gaze darted around the room before coming back to mine. He shut the door behind him. "I didn't realize you'd be here."

I spread my hands. "It was a last-minute decision."

"So, you're leaving, then?"

"That's typically what one does when one gets served with divorce papers. I just came back to get my personal things."

Justin stepped closer, the spice of his cologne floating across the airspace between us. I was wrong. I did feel something. Pity. A faint sadness that things hadn't worked out. Relief that he no longer held any power over my feelings.

He held my gaze, looking uncertain. Funny, I could no longer read his expression. Only five months apart and already so much had changed.

"I, uh, I'm glad you're here."

My eyebrows nearly flew into my hairline. "Glad?"

His smile no longer made my heart flutter. "I was a fool to cheat on you, Kenna." My mouth gaped open. "I just missed who we used to be when we were in college."

My jaw snapped shut. A flicker of anger reminded me of why he and I would never have worked out in the long run. Even if he hadn't cheated on me. He wanted the same girl who'd fawned all over him.

"People grow, Justin. People change. At least they're supposed to. You tried to keep me small." I huffed out a humorless laugh. "I should thank you for what you did. You set me free and I'm finally living my life on my own terms."

He lost the smile but I felt his gaze darting from my head to toe. "You look different. Pretty. Happy. Tan."

That last one came out with such shock behind the word, we both laughed. "Who knew I could even tan?" I stepped closer and put my hand on his arm. "I wish you and Ashley well."

He cringed. "We're actually not together any longer."

I rolled my lips in to keep from laughing. All that damage and for what? To already be alone? The pity I felt for him grew. "Then I just wish you well."

I walked to the door, dragging both suitcases behind me. Only when I got the door open did Justin call my name.

I turned around to see him standing alone in the mess of my boxes. "I'm glad you're happy. You deserve that."

My smile held hard-won confidence. "Yeah, I do deserve that."

And then I left my ex-husband, my condo, and my old self behind.