Chapter 26

Dec

Lars and his photographer were like tiny red ants, crawling all over me, biting and causing a nuisance when all I wanted to do was run after Kenna and make her listen. Or drop to my knees and beg her forgiveness. Anything to wipe that look of betrayal off her face. I'd spent all summer watching the woman bloom out of the wreckage of her marriage and now I'd just squashed all that beauty because I hadn't had the balls to tell her the truth. I'd taken her to bed and told her I loved her, but I failed to tell her the things that actually mattered.

"Please," I said quietly. "I moved here ten years ago to avoid this very situation. Give me some privacy."

Lars still hadn't lost the rabid gleam in his eye. "I get sent to cover feel-good puff pieces in small towns. This could launch my career, man."

See, this was one of the reasons I gave up my career. Because once you were famous, everyone started putting pressure on you, saying their lives depended on you doing what they wanted you to do. No one actually cared about you as a person. I was done with that shit. Had been done with that shit for a decade.

"Then run with everything you have from Captain's Boat Club." I climbed in my truck and revved the engine until Lars stepped out of the way.

The article was going to look a lot different when it was printed tomorrow and I owed Kenna an apology for that too. She didn't deserve to have the spotlight stolen away from the hard work she'd done for the boat club, but at this point, there was no putting the genie back in the bottle. I'd been discovered and that meant life as I knew it in Sunshine Key had forever changed.

The causeway was backed up with traffic as I tried to drive through town to get home to Kenna. With every whack of my palm against the steering wheel in frustration, I tried to come up with a speech. A plan. A way to grovel so she'd know how sorry I was for keeping my past from her. Given the stricken look on her face when she told me about her good luck charm, anything I could come up with wasn't going to cut it. But she still deserved to hear a heartfelt apology.

I was stuck a block away from downtown when my cell phone rang. It was Mona, which was odd. She'd never called me before, probably having sensed I wasn't her biggest fan.

"Mona?" I picked up as quickly as I could.

"Dec?" Her voice wobbled, fear and panic evident, but then again, that was standard territory for Mona.

"Is everything okay?" I snapped. The woman cried wolf all the time with her tears and tantrums, but then I heard sirens in the background and my heart froze over.

"It's your father," she said, still with that thin, wobbling voice. "We got into a car accident."

My vision went black. Time bent and I wasn't sure if it was the present or ten long years ago. Thank God my foot was already on the brake or I would have rear-ended someone.

"Where?"

"Um, by the place where you kids do the karaoke, I think?"

I blinked, willing my vision to return, but only getting a small pinhole of sight. It was enough. I yanked the wheel to the right and parked my vehicle off the side of the road, the back end of my truck still in the roadway. Someone behind me honked at the inconvenience, but I was already out of the truck in a dead run.

The town whizzed by me as I ran, people jumping out of my way and cars honking when I darted into the roadway without even pausing to look. Life was repeating itself when I swore never to be back in this place. It was taking forever to get to Dad Bod Watering Hole, like one of those dreams where you feel like your legs were stuck in mud. Sweat ran down my face and stung my eyes and my lungs were burning, but I didn't slow down.

"Can't…be…happening…" I chanted, absolutely out of my mind with terror.

My brain couldn't comprehend that this was unfolding yet again. Guilt racked me, thinking that I'd taken my eye off Pops with all this stuff with Kenna and look what happened. But there'd be plenty of time for feeling guilty later. I focused on what I knew: Pops was supposed to be hanging out with Mona today at Kenna's house. What was he doing in a car?

Finally, the sign with the peeling-paint letters, indicating the bar, came into view. I slid to a stop and turned the corner, seeing two cars with crumpled bumpers and quite a few people milling about. I searched for the comb-over, finding Pops sitting on the back of the ambulance while the paramedic shined a light in his eyes. I hurried over, not yet allowing myself relief to see he was alive. I would save the comfort for when I was told he was completely uninjured. Mona, sitting beside Pops, tried to tell me what happened, but I waved her away. I'd get to the how later, once I knew Pops was going to live.

"How is he?" I growled at the paramedic, taking Pops's hand and doing my own assessment.

"Just a bump to the head, but he passed all the concussion tests, so I think he might just be a little shook up." The paramedic stood, a smile on his young face. "He's a lucky guy."

I grunted, squatting down in front of Pops as the paramedic moved on. "What happened?"

Pops squeezed my hand, a sheepish smile creeping across his pale face as he settled the glasses on his nose. "You're not going to be happy with me, rockstar."

"You're not hurt. That's all I care about," I assured him.

Mona rubbed Pops's back. "It's my fault. He said he wanted to test drive a car and I encouraged him."

Pops looked at her, his face softening. "It's not your fault, love. It was my idea."

Exasperated, I stood up. "Can someone please tell me what happened?"

Pops chuckled. "I may need to borrow some money from you, son. I was test driving a car and I rear-ended a lady."

I looked over my shoulder to see a woman who worked at the dental office giving her statement to a police officer. She looked unharmed, so that was good. Couldn't say the same thing about the cars though.

"Seriously, Pops? I've been driving your ass around for ten years and you get a wild hair to buy a car today?"

He frowned at me. "Mona, love. Will you give me a moment alone with Dec?"

"Of course," she murmured, kissing the top of his head and wandering back to the sidewalk.

I folded my arms across my chest. Why was everything so goddamn out of control today? Pops stood up and I reached for him, making sure he was steady on his feet before letting go. He nodded his thanks, some color returning to his features.

"I've been doing some thinking." He sighed. "You and me, Dec. We've been running scared for a full decade. Don't you think it's time we quit?"

We stared at each other for a long moment before I shook my head. "What are you talking about?"

"Come on. I know you see it too. That accident shook both of us up. We moved here and all we've been doing is hiding. We aren't living anymore, Dec. Living in fear isn't living at all. Tragedy will always happen, that much I've learned, but what's the point of living your whole life in the shadows just to try to avoid it? I'm afraid I've been steering you wrong. Your mother would tan my hide for letting you carry on like this so long."

"Pops." I reached for him but he puffed up his chest and stared me down. My hand dropped to my side. "What are you saying?"

"I've been hiding out here with you, letting you take care of everything for me. That's on me. But things have changed. Have you noticed I don't call you every day like I used to?"

It was true. I thought it was because he was distracted by Mona, but the phone calls had dissipated even before she got here.

"I'm learning to live on my own, without you being my crutch. And you know I love you more than anything, son, but you can't use me as a crutch any longer either. Go truly live. Grab life or love or whatever lights you up inside for all it's worth. Quit hiding, Declan."

And then, the man who'd raised me by himself and been my best friend through adulthood, walked away from me. He limped his way over to Mona, threw his arm over her shoulders and started cracking jokes with the police officer like he hadn't just punched me in the face with words of wisdom I didn't want.

The paramedics pulled away from the scene, leaving me standing in the middle of the street by myself. Looking left and right, completely discombobulated and lost, I started walking.

It was a long walk back to my house on foot. By the time I got there, I was soaked in sweat and only slightly more clearheaded. Pops might have taken the hit to the skull, but I was the one with the headache. Marching inside, I went straight to my bedroom. There, in the top drawer with all my socks, was the flat round charm I'd kept for ten years, even after it had fallen off of the black cord around my neck. I gazed at it, tracing my thumb over the design etched into the metal. Then I wrapped it in my fist and headed for Kenna's house.

My knuckles rapped against the door, a harsh sound when all I'd heard for the last hour were my own footsteps and the slow inhale and exhale of my breath. She didn't answer, so I knocked again. Her Jeep was in the driveway, but maybe she'd had Char or Laurie pick her up. Wouldn't surprise me if she left the house just to get away from me.

I crouched down, looking at the charm one last time before laying it on the porch and pushing it under her front door. Liz had said Kenna's bad luck had started when she lost that charm. I may not be able to offer any explanation for my past that would satisfy the wrong I'd done in not sharing it before, but I could give her this. She deserved to have the family heirloom back. I'd kept it as safe as I knew how, but it wasn't mine to keep any longer.

Just like she wasn't mine to keep any longer either.