35. Dark Little Heart

35

Dark Little Heart

Violet

"Violet, can I have a moment?" Professor Perry looks at me over the top of his glasses as the class starts to empty.

"Uh-oh, what did you do now, girl?" Mila nudges my arm. "Too much time at Sigma House, and now you're being sent to the principal's office. Not very good girl of you."

"Very funny." I roll my eyes, even if inside my stomach plummets.

There's only one reason Professor Perry would hold me after class, and that's to tell me if I made it into the summer internship program with Professor Gray in Los Angeles or not. Patience found out yesterday that she got in, which meant it was only a matter of time before I faced the music .

"You'll be fine." Mila stops in front of me. "You've got this."

She must sense my nerves because she drops the teasing act for reassurance. We both know what this is about, and I don't have her level of confidence.

"I hope you're right."

"I am." Mila crosses her fingers and smiles big as she walks out of the classroom.

I slowly walk to the front of the room, where Professor Perry is focused on his computer screen. His glasses sit at the edge of his nose, and his dark eyebrows scrunch with whatever he's reading.

"Ms. Morrow." He pushes his glasses up, looking at me. "I have something for you."

Reaching into his desk drawer, he pulls out a sheet of paper and hands it over. And the moment I read the first words, my heart balloons. The cloud that's been hanging over me all day lifts, and for the first time in weeks, I'm flooded with a sense of relief.

"I got in."

"Did you doubt you would?" he asks, sitting back in his chair and crossing his arms over his chest.

"I wasn't sure."

He watches me as I read the welcome letter. And quickly, what was excitement starts to settle heavier as realization sinks in. Mom will be so proud of me, even if it will mean a bigger burden on her if I can't find a summer job that pays for food and rent.

I hate that my dreams are costing her so much, especially when I'm suddenly torn about this internship.

When I first applied, things were clearer. Back then, my criminal studies were between the pages of books, not between my sheets like they are now.

I was an observer. Learning.

Now I'm one of them.

I've witnessed two murders, and I've said nothing. Worse, I've fallen for the killer. Who am I to study criminals when I can't see clearly when it comes to them?

"You don't look as excited as you should be." Professor Perry doesn't take his cool gaze off me.

Holding the paper to my side, I try to force a smile. "I am. There's just a lot going on."

"Does this have anything to do with Liam Westwood?"

Swallowing, I hope my panic doesn't show. My palms sweat, and I feel the blood draining from my face.

"You were dating him when he went missing, weren't you?"

I nod, my tongue swelling in my mouth with each passing moment.

"And from what I've seen, now you've been spending some time with his friend. Kole… I think his name is." Professor Perry leans forward on his desk, looking up at me. "You're a smart girl, Violet. You have a lot of potential. But you need to be careful how you associate with Sigma House."

He doesn't elaborate, and he doesn't need to. Associating with Sigma House is dangerous, especially with the rumor circulating about me.

I'm the girl who was dating one of their members. Liam's semi-long-term girlfriend. One of the last people to see him face-to-face before he disappeared. And now I've moved on with his best friend.

People have a lot to say without actually knowing anything. A fact that might be for the best, given how things between Liam and me ended.

"Thanks." I force a tight smile. "But I'll be fine."

Professor Perry looks like he believes me as much as I believe myself, but he lets it go. "Good. Because Professor Gray called me personally to ask about you, and I'd hate to see you ruin the opportunity of a lifetime. He was impressed, very impressed, with your essay."

"He was?"

"Yes." Professor Perry nods. "And your letters of recommendation certainly didn't hurt."

My eyebrows pinch because I didn't know anyone submitted a letter of recommendation on my behalf, but I don't say that to Professor Perry.

"He was interested in your views on criminal mindset. Specifically, your thoughts on rehabilitation, and how the fact that even if it looks different with someone who lacks empathy, it doesn't mean it can't exist in some form. Where did those theories come from?"

"Research." And setting myself far too close to the subject matter.

"Well, it's fascinating." Professor Perry nods. "I'm curious to see what else you come up with over the summer. Be sure to come see me next fall to tell me about it, whether you take my class or not."

"I will." I grip my books tighter to my chest. "Thank you for everything. "

Professor Perry pushes his glasses back up his nose and turns to his computer.

Summer is still a few months away, but the minutes on the clock feel like they're counting down on me. I should be excited. This is the opportunity I've been working for. But it means facing why I'm truly interested in criminals. And it means leaving Kole for a few months—assuming we get past this investigation in one piece.

Tucking the acceptance letter between my books and my chest, I make my way out of the classroom. A lead weight sits on my chest from the conversation in more ways than one. Finances are no longer my biggest concern, it's that I'm a fraud.

How am I going to be objective in my studies when I'm this deeply involved?

Stepping into the busy hallway, I'm instantly surrounded. It reminds me of the summer before freshman year. I was hanging out with a few of my friends, and we came upon a wasp nest. One of them thought it would be funny to hit it and see what would happen.

I wasn't as fast… or maybe I ran in the wrong direction.

Wasps were buzzing all around. Stinging, swarming. My throat closed in on itself. Like it does now when I'm surrounded by people and can't catch my breath.

"Violet." An arm wraps around my shoulders, and I jump before realizing its Kole. "What's wrong?"

He pulls me to his other side so I'm between him and the wall, like he can read my thoughts and knows I don't like being in crowds. He acts like my shield to the rest of the world when I've never told him how large groups of people make me nervous.

He becomes my bubble.

"Nothing." I shake my head. "I'm heading to work, and I was just lost in thought."

I clutch the paper tighter to my chest, not ready to tell Kole I got into my summer internship program when I don't know how he's going to react.

He's made it clear we're exclusive, but that doesn't make us a traditional couple. We don't talk about the future or where this is headed. He doesn't share his summer plans or make any set in stone commitments. So it feels safer to keep mine to myself until I have a clearer picture of how he'll respond to the idea of me leaving for the summer.

He doesn't let me out of his sight when we're in the same town, so I can't imagine he'll take it well if I tell him I'm going to be living in another state for two months.

Kole holds me tight against his side as he guides me through the busy hallway. His arm is protectively cradling my shoulders, drawing people's attention.

Even when I dated Liam, we didn't spend much time together in public. And when we did, he wasn't overly affectionate.

Kole is the opposite. He's possessive, touching me whenever we're near now that our relationship is out in the open. He doesn't care that we have the entire school's attention or that it's made worse with the rumors circulating so long as everyone knows I belong to him.

When we finally step outside, I breathe in a gulp of cool air and let it calm my nerves. Kole guides me to a bench at the side of the building and sits down, pulling me onto his lap.

"I really do need to get to work."

"In a minute." He reaches between me and my books and pulls out the sheet of paper tucked there. "Talk to me about this."

Of course he already knows about it. I don't know why I tried to hide it. He was watching me with my professor, and he must have assumed this was the reason.

His eyes skim it over, but he doesn't spend much time reading it, and I get the impression he already knew what it says.

"I applied at the beginning of the year. I didn't think I'd get in, so I'm still processing it."

"I knew you would."

"Wait." I pull back, glancing from him to the paper. "Did you have anything to do with the recommendation letters Professor Perry was talking about?"

"It's a tough internship; your chances are better with recommendations." He shrugs like it's no big deal. "I asked for a favor."

"Why would you help me?"

And why does he want to send me away?

Kole takes my books and sets them on the bench beside us so he can pull me closer to him. His hand rakes up through my hair, pulling it back when the wind kicks it up.

"I helped you because you wanted this, Violet. And I told you, I want to give you everything you want."

"So you're okay with me going to Los Angeles without you?" My eyebrows pinch. "I mean, assuming in a few months you still care, or they don't find out—" what you did.

I can't say that part aloud. I refuse to put words to it.

"I've spent a year waiting for you, Violet. What makes you think a few months would change that?"

I wet my lips, not wanting to admit my insecurity, even if he makes me feel safe to. "That was before. We were just an idea then. Watching someone from afar isn't the same as actually having them. What if this doesn't live up to your imagination?"

Kole brushes his fingers over my jaw, pulling his hand back into my hair and tracing the scar hidden on the back of my head.

"That's not possible when you're my imagination come to life." He rubs the scar again. "Come to dinner with me tonight."

"Dinner?" We've never even had a date unless I can consider him chasing me through the woods and fucking me with the handle of his knife one.

"Dinner," he repeats. "My parents texted for proof of life since I haven't been over in a little while."

My eyes widen. "You want me to join you for dinner with your parents?"

"My stepfather wants to talk to you again, and I'd prefer to be there when he does this time. "

I don't like the sound of that, but at least this way, Kole would be at my side.

"Okay, I'll go."

Kole smirks, barely. "I already knew you'd go. That wasn't actually a question."

"Of course it wasn't." I roll my eyes. "God forbid you be polite."

Kole pulls me to him, holding me against his chest and dropping his mouth to my ear. "No gods here, kitten. Remember? Only your Saint."

Don't I know it.

I shiver as he holds me to him, his teeth raking along the shell of my ear.

"Tonight. Seven."

"I'll be there."

"No. I'll pick you up." He kisses the side of my neck. "And if you're lucky, maybe when we're done, I'll remind you why your dark little heart enjoys my blasphemy."