Chapter 16

16

L ong gone were the days when Tobias' arrival at the club got him anything more than a respectful nod at the gate and a polite good morning from anyone who happened to see him. Tobias much preferred this to the scurrying of the staff and subs to spread the news of his presence; being a fixture was almost pleasant.

It was certainly a lot more peaceful, anyway.

After having a few words with Pat about Noah not being in until later, Tobias headed down the hall, avoiding the houseboys as they cleaned for the day before members arrived. He liked the houseboys -- the entire concept made him happy -- but he knew that Bradford wouldn't be anywhere near his own office while the wood was being polished. Instead, Tobias dropped his coat off in his office and headed to the dining room for a proper cup of coffee, and perhaps a proper brunch with Bradford. His eggs had long since been eaten away by the stress of the morning.

"Good morning, sir," Brian greeted him at the door. "Coffee? Master Bradford is looking over the morning paper if you'd like to join him."

Tobias squinted at the boy, trying to figure out what was different about him. Same hair cut, same carefully tailored uniform, but there was something about his face; he was practically glowing. In fact, Brian looked positively radiant this morning.

"Did you have a pleasant evening?" Tobias asked him, trying very hard not to look like he already knew the answer. He thought maybe Brian deserved all the glory he could get; he'd waited long enough for it.

"Oh, yes, sir!" Brian grinned and leaned closer to Tobias. "Very good, sir. Wonderful. Best ever." He stood there for a moment, beaming at Tobias, before he remembered himself. "Oh, but... Master Bradford is this way, sir," he said quickly, trying to hide the full extent of the blush on his cheeks. "Just right over here, sir, I'll get your coffee."

Laughing, Tobias nodded and started across the dining room. "Bring the pot, pup. Thank you."

"Yes, sir. Of course, sir," Brian chattered as he hurried away.

Tobias pulled out the chair opposite Bradford and sat, looking around for Nikki. "Good morning, Bradford."

Bradford lowered his paper as Tobias took his seat. "Well, good morning. I was wondering if you'd be coming in today. You're past your usual hour." He watched Tobias as he reached forward and picked up his coffee cup.

"There were issues at home. Where's Nikki?"

Bradford raised an eyebrow. He set his paper down and leaned back in his chair. "There were... issues at home."

Tobias raised an eyebrow right back at him, feeling waspish. "Your home, too? I know you can't mean my home, since that's exactly what I just said."

"I meant mine. There must have been something in the air yesterday. Perhaps it was a full moon."

Brian arrived with the pot of coffee and a mug for Tobias. "Oh, thank God," Bradford said with a sigh. Both men waited for Brian to fill their mugs, and then Bradford thanked him and sent him away. "So, do we want to take yesterday's events out on each other, or shall we drink our coffee and try again in a few minutes?"

Tobias drank half his cup of coffee, burning his lip in the process. "When I take things out on you, it never ends well. Tell me what happened with Nikki?"

"Long story. Why don't you start?"

"Too late, I asked you first."

Bradford scowled at Tobias, but that look was quickly replaced by something far more troubling. "Ah, well. Nikki is apparently very, very good friends with Joseph." Bradford sipped his coffee and then continued. "I suppose I ought to have been aware of the extent of their friendship, but I wasn't until last night, when Nikki came to me and, very unexpectedly, requested some modifications to his contract. We discussed in general terms the kinds of things he was talking about, and..." Bradford shook his head and appeared to be trying to keep his composure. "Well." He rubbed his forehead with his fingers.

"Well?" Tobias didn't know who Phan and Noah's closest friends were, either, other than each other. That fact was less troubling than Nikki's reaction to the situation.

"Well, you know Nikki." Bradford replied. His tone was casual, but Tobias knew him well enough to see the worry in his eyes. "He was timid as a mouse when he started with me. He hadn't had any kind of trust in his life before, and certainly no stability like he has now."

"I remember. Always polite, but very soft spoken, nervous, quick to please."

Bradford nodded and set his coffee cup down on the table in front of him. "Just so."

"So... something scared him?"

"Something terrified him. Enough that he was suddenly, irrationally, doubting me." Bradford shook his head and his voice grew harsh. "I was insulted, he was upset, and after a lengthy discussion as to why, we decided... we decided to... take a break."

Bradford ran his thumb around the edge of his coffee cup, staring into the dark liquid as if it might have something to say to him. "He's decided to go away for a couple of days, and we've agreed to talk again when he gets back." He looked up at Tobias, trying to hide his emotions, if not from Tobias, at least from the other Doms in the room. "It'll be fine."

Tobias very carefully and slowly put his coffee cup down. "I think," he said, keeping his voice low, "that we should finish this in my office." The pain in Bradford's eyes was enough to have Tobias carting him off right then, but there were eyes all around them, and stopping drama was more or less in the job description. Bradford needed support, but neither of them wanted that to happen in the dining room.

"I'd much prefer to change the subject," Bradford protested, not moving.

"Of course." Tobias nodded. "I don't doubt it. Would you, however, let me do that?"

"No. But I'd prefer to be allowed the double standard just this once."

Tobias didn't move, watching Bradford impassively.

"Oh, bloody hell," Bradford growled after a moment. He stood up, tossed his napkin into his plate, and took his mug with him. He looked down next to his chair and sighed again. "Christ. I'll get the damn pot, then, shall I?" He picked it up and gestured for Tobias to lead the way.

Tobias gave him a sympathetic look as he stood up and headed out of the dining room. "I'll have the phones switched over to the bar, too," he said, being careful not to spill his own coffee as he walked. "We'll call it a director's meeting."

"Wonderful. Can I spike my coffee?"

"Yes." Tobias opened the door to his office and scooped his coat up from where he'd tossed it over the back of a chair. "And I have the cigarettes, too." In a moment, the coat was hung up and Tobias had retrieved the bottle of whiskey from his desk, pausing long enough to redirect his phone to the bar and let Dave know that he and Bradford were not to be disturbed. "Okay. You first." He passed Bradford the bottle and tried to remember where he'd hidden his ashtray last.

Bradford set the coffee pot down on a coaster on the table and took the whiskey from Tobias. Then, without another moment's hesitation, he launched into explaining the events of the previous evening, clearly making no effort to hide his frustration at all. "Joseph was a wreck yesterday, and Nikki reacted strongly to that. He was timid enough before we... before he started working with me, and now he wants assurances I can't give him. He blames me for yesterday's incident as if I were in the damn room at the time, and he's suddenly lost his footing. He doesn't trust me the way he did before."

Bradford gestured broadly with the hand that held the whiskey bottle. "I tried to explain that it was understandable that he was upset about his friend, and he may even be right for blaming me to a certain extent, but that I've given him no reason to doubt me personally. I tried to explain that he was probably having an emotional reaction and that he might want to think about things a bit longer before we started tightening up a contract that has been working well so far."

Bradford started to pour himself some whiskey but seemed to change his mind, and set the bottle down with his mug beside it. His voice grew softer, but he didn't hide his anger. "He accused me of being unwilling to listen, unwilling to negotiate." He shrugged. "Maybe he was right, Tobias, but I'm not abusive, I never have been, and I sorely resent the very idea of extensive safeguards when I've done nothing but love him." Bradford pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes. "This is why I don't take on subs. How the fuck do you do this with two of them? I've completely lost perspective when it comes to him."

"So has he, apparently." Tobias frowned as he thought. "Oh, look. Ashtray." He brought it over and set it down, along with the cigarettes. "You're right, in a nutshell. He's having an emotional reaction to a scary thing. In short, he's having a temper tantrum."

"Thank you." Bradford snatched up the cigarettes and lit one. "But being right doesn't do me one damn bit of good right now, Tobias."

"No, I suppose not. I know not. Been there." Tobias topped off his coffee with whiskey and sat back. "On the other hand, the fact that he's able to tantrum without being terrified you'll cut him loose is a big step for him, in a way."

"Yeah. A big step." Bradford leaned forward and picked up the whiskey, this time splashing some in his coffee as well. "It's an 'I don't need you as much as you think I do' kind of step. A step away from me." He took a sip of his coffee.

"That's ridiculous, and I think you know that. It's more of a boundary-seeking step. An affirmation-seeking step."

Bradford sipped his coffee and sighed. "I know, I know. Intellectually, I know a lot of things. Physically, emotionally, I know absolutely nothing right now except that I want him back. You know what I was thinking while I wasn't sleeping last night? I was thinking why did I let myself get so attached to him? The only other serious relationship I've ever had went to shit years ago, and I've avoided commitment quite happily since then, so why did I allow it to happen this time?" Bradford seemed to sink deeper into his chair, evidently not looking for answers to those questions.

"Do you know where he is, at least? As in, can you get messages to him?"

"I gave him a cell phone. I haven't dared use it."

Tobias sipped his coffee for a moment. "Maybe you shouldn't yet. At supper time, perhaps. He is, after all, having a tantrum. By supper, he may be at the stage where he's realizing what a brat he's being to you and seeing how he could have otherwise dealt with his legitimate fear. And you, my dear friend, aren't in that place where you're ready to talk to him yet; you're too hurt."

Bradford nodded slowly. "I am, you're right. And angry. And very nervous, besides. And if this conversation goes any further than us, I'm going to have to kill you, because, as you know, I have a reputation to uphold." He snorted and took a long drag off his cigarette.

"Who would I tell?" Tobias dismissed the banter with a shrug. Bradford was stinging, and he had to lash out at someone. "You'll have to punish him, after it's all fixed and soothed, you know. He'll expect it, too. But I'm curious as to what kind of boundaries he's really seeking, under all the fear reaction."

Bradford glanced up at Tobias. "Videotaped sessions, security on call, break away bondage gear. He's asked me to run my home the way I do the club, with someone always watching. I flatly refuse to do so. I didn't take quite that strong a stance with him because I was trying to be understanding, but there's no way in hell, Tobias." Bradford stood up and paced away from the desk. "Am I being unreasonable? Would you submit to observation in your stables?"

"Absolutely not. But that's not what I asked. His requests are unacceptable and fear-based -- what do you think he really needs? What's under his skin that needs to get out? What does he really and truly need to feel safe?"

Bradford turned around and looked at Tobias again. After a moment of thoughtful consideration, he replied, "At the root of it, I think he needs to know that what happened to Joseph isn't going to happen to him."

Tobias nodded and finally gave in to the urge -- the need -- to smoke. "Of course." He lit his cigarette and studied the burning tip as he exhaled. "And those rules in a contract aren't the real key to making him feel safe. What do you think might do that? What does Nikki need in his life that defines being safe?"

Bradford stopped pacing and moved back to his chair, sitting heavily. "Honestly, until yesterday I thought it was me." He stubbed out his cigarette in the ashtray and sipped his coffee. "So what is it about me, then? I'm firm. I'm forgiving. I believe in him. He can trust me. I'm... consistent. I don't know which of those things took the hit yesterday. Just that I let this happen to his friend? That I can't protect everyone all the time? Does he really think I should?" Looking up at Tobias, Bradford shook his head. "Do you already know the answer to this question and you're waiting for me to hit on it?"

"I don't know Nikki well enough to know the answer. I'm no more perfect than you are, as evidenced by my own home issues." Tobias took a drag off his cigarette and sighed, smoke rolling out of his mouth in a lazy curl. "He saw you as Superman. Maybe he just needs some time to remember that Superman made mistakes as well."

"Let's hope. And no Kryptonite jokes." Bradford picked up the pack of cigarettes and lit another. "So what's going on with your boys?"

Tobias winced and smoked, and the next time he exhaled, it was in a steady, tight stream. "I went home last night, signaled to Noah that he was to top me, sent Phan to his room with a promise that I'd bring him down for bed. He hadn't even eaten. And after I'd relieved my stress, I forgot about him until this morning. He was unhappy."

"Mmm. I can imagine. But that's not like you at all. Did you manage to work it out?"

"I made my most sincere apologies." Tobias shrugged. "I'll be making up for this one for a while, I think. It really threw Noah as well; there's a bit of dynamic going on there that we're feeling our way through. Right now, they're back in bed -- together -- and I hope that things won't be horrible when they come in."

"Three is a hard number, my friend. Frankly, I'd be surprised if this is the last time there's an issue. One sub is hard enough; two isn't easy to manage at all, and I think you've done an admirable job so far. I wouldn't beat yourself up too badly on this one." Bradford pushed the bottle of whiskey a little closer to Tobias. "Why don't you give them the day off? We can spend it figuring out where we went wrong yesterday and how we can make sure it doesn't happen again."

Tobias took the bottle and poured, pretty sure there was far more whiskey in his cup than coffee. "I could. Is this going to involve either of us getting flogged, though? I've already done that in the last day, and don't feel a strong need for it again."

Bradford laughed. "I really don't need the details of your sessions with Noah, Tobias, but it's nice to know the boy has your back, as it were. I consider the blows our consciences have taken in the last forty-eight hours flogging enough in any case."

"He has a nice arm," Tobias said with a shrug. "All right. A day off so you and I can discuss matters. Shall we begin with going over how we're to proceed with discipline within the club, or should we stick to our own relationships since we're already drinking?"

"Discipline within the club," Bradford repeated, the words sounding sour on his tongue. "I never thought I'd have to... Ah. Well. We're growing; it's only natural, I suppose. When my lover returns, I'll be happy to discuss with you the various ways in which I might discipline him. Assuming he returns. In the meantime, we better put the whiskey away. Keep the cigarettes out, though; we deserve one vice. Oh, and you should call for some food. Whiskey on an empty stomach is a bad idea. I've just learned this."

"Just this moment, or is this a lesson learned overnight?"

"Just this moment. I didn't dare drink last night; that would have been far too slippery a slope."

"I understand." He'd even been there a time or two. Tobias took the bottle back to his desk and put it away, then picked up the receiver of his phone. "Any food preferences?"

"I'm starving, so something filling. An omelet? Maybe some toast. More coffee." Bradford poured himself a fresh cup, this time without the whiskey.

Tobias' stomach growled. "You know," he said as he called the kitchen, "I even ate this morning." He ordered breakfast to be delivered to his office, along with juice and more coffee, then called the bar's extension. "I'm leaving the phones on forward to you," he said. "Bradford and I are having an extended closed-door meeting, so just take messages and apologize for us. We'll return calls later today and tomorrow morning -- and if there's anything particularly urgent, let Pat know. He can decide if we're needed."

He hung up and looked at Bradford. "You know, you should have an office admin, apart from Nikki. Someone to cancel meetings and handle the phones." His hand still on the receiver, Tobias flipped through his planner to see how many interviews he had to postpone; luckily, there were only two listed for the day.

"A cute little twink in a short skirt and a little operator's headset in his ear?"

"If you want. Just someone with a decent grasp of how to talk to people would be good." He called his two meetings and left apologetic messages for them, discreet but firm that he wouldn't be able to talk to them about rescheduling until later in the day. Then he called the house, hoping Phan wouldn't wake up.

The line rang a couple of times, then a click, and then Noah's voice came softly over the line. "Hello, sir."

"Hello, sweetheart. Did he fall asleep?"

"Yes, sir. And so has my arm and most of my left side." Noah was talking quietly, but he sounded cheerful enough.

Tobias smiled. "You can move him, you know."

"I could, but he's so cute and looks so happy." Noah chuckled softly into the phone. "Did you want me to wake him? What time did you need us at the club?"

Tobias watched Bradford sipping his coffee. He looked like hell, really. "Actually, you have the day off, which is why I'm calling. You and Phan stay home today, please; Bradford and I are having closed-door meetings. I should be home for supper, though."

"Mmm. All right, sir. Please take a cab home if you need to?" Noah's tone said more than his words did. He was apparently well aware by now what a bad day and a closed-door meeting could mean for Tobias and Bradford's sobriety. "Phan and I will be waiting for you."

"I'll call if I'm going to be late. Take care of Phan for me, sweetheart. I promise to spend some real time with you both as soon as I can." Tobias hung up and went to his filing cabinet. "Do we want the records for both of them, or just Mr. Adkins?"

"May as well get both, maybe there is something -- a trigger or a sensitivity -- in Joseph's file that we missed that may have made this worse. Not that having one's safe word disregarded isn't horrible enough, of course. Plus, if he's really such a friend of Nikki's, I suppose I should know something about him."

Tobias nodded and pulled both folders. With a fresh pad of paper in hand as well, he returned to his chair and passed Joseph's file to Bradford. "Do we know where Joseph is now, where he stayed last night?"

"He went home. His roommate promised me he'd check in with me this morning, but I have his number if I don't hear from them."

"Good." Tobias nodded and opened Michael Adkins' file. "I put him on probation and tight monitoring. I'll personally be watching him from security for the next two months, and he'll be under supervision for eight. If he decides not to play in that time frame to avoid being watched, he's gone. I didn't tell him that was final; we need to know more about what happens with Joseph, don't you think?"

"I agree, and I appreciate the way you're handling it. It's a strong stance, and I think that's important in terms of an example to everyone else." Bradford shifted slightly in his chair. "Listen, Tobias. I should have said this before now."

Tobias looked up.

"I really do see us both responsible here. The fact that you did Adkins' final screening does not absolve me of responsibility at all. For all we know, there was something about Joseph that I missed. This is a joint venture as I see it, and we take the falls together."

"I don't think assigning any kind of blame at this point will do anyone any good." Tobias sighed. "All we can do is learn from it and put more safeguards into effect. Maybe increase the time new members have to be screened, maybe make sure that if uncoupled new members are playing together, they use the rooms with one-way glass and know they're being watched."

Bradford nodded. "All good ideas. I'll make some notes." He reached for the cigarettes and pulled one out. "Maybe think about revising the membership rule book, too."

Tobias settled in. It was going to be a long morning, and, knowing how he and Bradford were when they put their heads together, it was likely to carry into the afternoon as well. Apart from their subs, nothing was more important to them than making sure the club remained the safe, welcoming place it had always been for its members, Doms and subs alike.