Chapter 44

Tara

Relaxing in bed, I stuff a grape in my mouth, and wait for Ryker to get out of the shower. It takes a lot of control to not join him in there, but I need a break. My pussy aches and I don't think I can go another round just yet.

My man's an animal.

I can't wait until everyone knows he's mine.

When he asked where I wanted to go, I told him back to the club because I couldn't wait to get naked with him again.

A familiar sound chimes from under the bed. I have no clue how my cell got under there, but I'm tempted to let it keep ringing. Only I know exactly who it is. I swear my phone sounds more annoying when my mother is calling.

Digging it out from under the bed, I answer with an eye roll. "Hi, Mom."

"Tara Marie Reed. How could you?"

Guilt tries to take hold of my mouth and make me apologize. I stomp it down and tear it to pieces. I have nothing to be sorry about. "What did I do this time?"

"Don't play stupid." I forgot how she likes to call me that when she's extra mad. "You've broken your father's heart."

My laugh comes out in a cackle. "You're so delusional, Mom."

"I raised you better than this, Tara." She huffs into the phone, and I inwardly cringe when she adds, "You're such a disappointment."

Ryker comes out of the shower, still drying his hair. He approaches me cautiously, seeing I'm on the phone. I can't look at him when I'm on this call. It'll mess me up. I'm already fighting my inner demons here and I don't want to have to be braver just to impress Ryker. I want to be braver for myself and only myself.

"You know what, Mom? You're the disappointment." I can't believe I just said that. "If William's heartbroken, it's because he finally realizes what a gold-digging, lying, cheating, greedy woman you are."

She doesn't make a sound.

Fine. Because I've got plenty more to say. "Do you understand that I've spent my whole life thinking I'm the hinge on your relationships? I've carried the guilt that every time you broke up with your fool ass men, it was somehow my fault."

"It was!"

"Bullshit." I yell, shoving my finger at the floor. "It's been your fault every time. I was just a kid, mom. A kid who did what she was told. I didn't get an opinion. I didn't get anything but the privilege of following your orders so you could land a rich man and have a cushy life. I swear, you loved your wardrobe more than you ever loved me."

Her silence doesn't last long. "How can you say such hateful things to me? I sacrificed everything to have you."

"I know." God, I'm so sick of having this conversation with her. "You never miss an opportunity to remind me."

"And yet you're still so ungrateful."

I hate her. "I took up golf in high school because you wanted me to make a good impression when William took me and Garret out on Sundays for two whole years."

"Yes. And he paid for your golf lessons."

She's missing the point. "I got a fucking business degree and a real estate license."

"And your father gave you a high-paying job and huge bonuses every year."

She's still missing the point. "I never wanted to be in real estate. I never wanted to golf. Jesus, I wanted to be a chef, Mom!"

"Oh please. The only thing you've ever made was that damn pudding. You would have failed. Your father gave you success, and that's all thanks to me."

"William is not my father. Neither was Steve or Randy or any of the other rich dipshits you tried to bag." My heart pounds in my chest and my cheeks tingle. I feel sick. "I've spent my life doing everything you told me to, so you would be happy. I'm done. It's over. Me quitting Brisbane Realty isn't the end. I'm never stepping foot in William's house again. He's not my family."

"Why are you doing this?" she screeches. "I don't understand."

That makes me pause. Now I feel terrible because she didn't know what happened at brunch when I stormed out. "William wanted me to fuck whoever I had to so I could get the Greene Street property before the auction."

She's silent. I latch onto the possibility that she finally understands why I've quit. I brace for her to be furious on my behalf. I hold my breath, feeling lighter because maybe now she won't be so mad at me for what I've done. Maybe she's proud of me for sticking up for myself and walking away with my dignity and power.

"Would it kill you to bend a little?"

I almost drop the phone. "Excuse me?"

"Tara. Be real. It's just a little nudge. If you can use your assets to help your father land an important piece of property, what's the big deal?"

I'm speechless.

"Honey," she says, like it's cute that I'd be offended by William's demands.

"Fuck you." The words fall out of my mouth. "You're supposed to protect me."

"From what?" She laughs. "Tara, you're not in any danger. This is such a small thing."

No, it's a huge thing. The biggest. "You don't care about me at all, do you?"

"Of course, I do."

Bullshit. "What about when Garret slammed me against the sliding glass door last Christmas?" My eyes narrow. "You did see it, didn't you?"

"You pushed him too far."

"Giving him a present is pushing him too far?" What is wrong with her?

"It was your attitude when you gave it to him, Tara. You're always so nasty."

Something deadly grows in my chest. "He tried to strangle me last week."

"What did you to do to piss him off?"

Unbelievable. The deadly calmness inside turns to numbness.

My voice shakes as I pace across the room. "I've made excuses for you my whole life," I say quietly, while my inner child shrinks. "I took the blame for your problems. I carried the guilt for your actions. I've been miserable, so you can be happy." When she doesn't say a word, I swear that inner voice always telling me everything's my fault and I should try harder to be better for everyone becomes mute.

When that happens, something else grows in my belly. Rage. It spreads like wildfire in my system, pushing lava in my veins, smoke in my heart, flames in my mind.

"You are a shit mother. You're an even shittier wife. All you do is hop off one dick and straight onto another. By the way, how was Travis? Let me guess, thin and long, curved like a banana? I know you prefer them hanging to the left. Bet he's promised to take you far away from grumpy old William. Not like you're leaving with anything in your pocket when you divorce. He was just as smart as your last two husbands and had you sign a prenup. But you don't care because you've already got your next target lined up." I shake my head in disgust. "You only switch men when you think you've found a fatter bank account to suck dry." And William probably already knows because he made that awful—and accurate—dig about my mom at brunch.

"I can't believe you're saying this to me. My god, Tara. I'm so disappointed."

"That makes both of us, then." I hang up and throw my phone across the room.

Ryker approaches cautiously, dressed in jeans again. "Are you okay?"

"No." Trembling, I cover my face and try to hold myself together. Saying all that to my mom was terrifying and overdue. I'm a mix of guilt and pride about it.

He steps closer. "Can I touch you?"

"Y-yes." I can't breathe. I think I'm going to throw up. "I feel sick."

"Shhhh." He folds me into his chest and holds me tightly. The pressure of his embrace lets me fall to pieces. I scream-cry until the room darkens. It's ugly. Years of rage and hate blast out of me until I'm a sobbing mess in his arms. He sinks us to the floor and rocks me back and forth. "You did so good, baby."

"I feel like the worst daughter in the world."

"You're not." He clasps my cheeks, forcing me to look at him. "You're not. You're a brave, strong woman who just did the greatest thing in the world. You took back your power." He kisses my forehead hard. "You stood up for yourself." He kisses my cheeks. "You know your worth and you made damn sure everyone else does, too." He kisses my mouth and the world swirling around us faster and faster finally slows down.

I'm suddenly so exhausted I can barely keep my eyes open. The fight's out of me. I have nothing left to give. At some point, I fall asleep in his lap on the floor, and he carries me to bed.

When I wake up, Ryker's gone.