17. Aeri

I wake with a start, feeling hot and panicked, though I have no idea why. It must have been a nightmare, or maybe from drinking so much. Though I don't feel hung over the way I expected to.

Throwing off the covers, I move toward my bathroom; maybe some cold water on my face will help clear my mind. Honestly, what I really need is a shower, but that would require I go out there, and for the moment, that's out of the question, at least until I get my shit together.

Splashing cold water on my face was not my best idea. The second the water hits me, I go from hot to freezing, though it does the job and grounds me a bit. I'm not sure why I felt so freaked out, but there's no denying it. I haven't felt this way since I left home, and reliving it isn't pleasant.

Drying my face, I take a deep breath and listen to see if I can hear any of the guys. I'm not sure what time it is; I didn't even think to check before I got up, but the apartment seems quiet.

Good. I'm not sure I could face any of them right now. Not after last night, because no matter how much I might have needed that release, I have no idea how I got here. The last thing I can recall is getting into the elevator, and that either means I blacked out or…

Someone helped me.

The sound of my palm slapping against the skin of my forehead is almost too loud as it bounces off the tile walls, and while it stings, I deserve it.

"Idiot."

With a sigh, I head back into my room and check the clock.

Holy shit!

How in the hell is it already six?! Working so late has fucked up my sleep schedule a bit. Now that I don't have to be up early to be at the coffee shop, I often sleep in later, but this is crazy. Though I guess with how late I stayed out mixed with the drinking, I should just be happy I woke up before my shift started.

With much less time than I'd originally thought, I pick out an outfit and head out into the hall toward the shower. Nobody's in the house, or if they are, they're hiding away, but that's fine by me. I don't make a habit of talking to any of them, except maybe Bast, but those conversations usually only last a few minutes before one of us runs away.

The cool water feels great and does a fantastic job of washing away the last of my panic while also bringing my body temperature back down to normal. Despite the fact that I keep telling myself I need to stop and grab my own hair and body wash, I still have yet to do it. Instead, I've simply been alternating through the ones here, hoping nobody notices.

Too bad they smell so damn good my body takes notice…despite the fact that I literally just got laid last night.

I'm never drinking again.

Ignoring my stupid, needy body, I finish and get dressed before running back to my room for my bag and heading out. It's not until I've made it outside that I let myself really breathe.

Everything would have been so much easier if I didn't end up rooming with a bunch of the hottest guys in the city, who are all so hot and cold.

Having the cab drop me off a few blocks away from the club, I stop in and grab something to eat from the little sushi restaurant I'd been dying to try for the last week.

It doesn't disappoint, and I know it's just become one of my new normal lunch places.

By the time I eat and walk over to the club, I have just enough time to slip into my uniform before I clock in.

"Where's your costume?" Lea calls over the music, and I just barely make out her words over my panic. "Didn't you see the costume I left out for you?"

I know she's talking to me, but I can't make myself reply. My mouth is dry, and I feel as though I might pass out.

"Hey, are you okay?" I watch as Lea sets down the tray of drinks she'd no doubt been going to pass out before rushing to my side. I can see the worry in her eyes as she comes to stand in front of me, looking me over as if I might be hurt.

But physically, I'm fine.

"What are you wearing?" The words come out as hardly more than a choked whisper, but somehow she seems to hear me.

She looks down at her skirt, which I can't lie would be cute if not for the fear that grips me at seeing it. It's short in the front with the back longer; it's deep shades of reds and oranges and matches the wings on her back, both a butterfly pattern.

"It's tonight's costume," she says, turning to look at the rest of the club, and I don't need to follow her eyes to know what she's looking at.

Everyone is in some sort of butterfly or moth costume.

"Sometimes our higher rollers will pay off the boss to do a specific theme. Usually, it's a little less cute and more skin, but I can't say I mind." She laughs and turns back to me, and I can see how that might be good for her, but I can't share her relief.

"Aeri, are you okay? You look like you're going to pass out." Reaching out, she grips my arm, and I can't help but flinch at the contact. It's not as though she hurt me, but my body is tense and ready for an attack.

"I just need a second." I move back a few steps until my back hits the wall, forcing oxygen into my lungs.

It's just a coincidence. People like butterflies; it's a normal thing.

But despite how many times I tell myself that, I can't shake the feeling that something is very wrong.

"Why don't you head back to the room and take a breath? Then, when you're ready, you can get into your costume and come out, okay?" Lea tries to steer me toward the door, but I can't make myself move.

She looks around, and for the first time, I realize she looks a little worried.

"What?" I snap, that one word coming out harsher than I intended, but I can't help it. Her worry mixes with my panic, and if I wasn't freaking out before, I sure as hell am now.

"I just don't want you to get in trouble," she hisses, keeping her voice low and her head on a swivel. "The people who do these themes pay the boss a lot of money and usually have some kind of connection that gets them to him to begin with, so he takes them pretty seriously."

Shit, now I feel even worse. All Lea does is look out for me, and I'm over here giving her an attitude she doesn't deserve because I can't get my shit together.

This time when she pulls me toward the door, I let her. The second the door closes behind us, and the music cuts off, I feel better.

"Seriously, it's not that bad, Aeri. Last time we had a theme night, I had to wear ropes and pasties." She shudders as if the memory is unpleasant, and I can't say I'd disagree. I might like the money this place brings in, but I'm not sure I could walk around in that all night.

I watch as she walks over to the chair and picks up a skirt, much like the one she has on. I hadn't even noticed it when I was back here a moment ago. I was too busy getting ready and stuck in my own little world after what happened last night.

The colors on my skirt are a mixture of blues and purples, the opposite of her bright reds and oranges, but somehow fitting. I don't want to wear it, but I also don't have a good reason not to. It's not revealing, and it's not ugly. The only way to explain my hang-up with it would be to give her context to my fear, and I can't do that.

On shaky legs, I walk toward her and grab the skirt. My fingers tremble, and I almost drop it, but somehow I manage to slip it on before I slide off my jeans from underneath.

"Oh, those colors look amazing on you, Aeri!" Lea claps and jumps around, and for once, I can't match her excitement. "I'm not sure who this guy is, but he's definitely got style." She chatters as she helps me put on the wings, and despite how light they are, they feel as though they weigh a hundred pounds. "As the night goes on, everyone with whole wings is symbolizing they're open to talk and find someone. When you find someone, you have to cut your wings, and it's supposed to be like a way of saying you're taken…"

The world slows down, and I know Lea is still talking; I can hear her voice, but I can't make out a single thing she's saying.

I can't breathe, can't think past the one thing I'm certain of now.

"He found me."

I'm moving before I really know what I'm doing. Stumbling over my feet toward the door. I don't know where I'm going, but I know I can't stay here.

"Aeri!"

I don't look back; I can't. Lea has been nothing but nice to me since I met her; she's more of a friend than I deserve. If I turn back now, there's no doubt she'll see through me, the terror I feel; I can't hide. She'll want to help and deserves an explanation, but she also deserves to be safe.

The less she knows, the better.

Somehow, I manage to make it all the way across the club before my luck runs out and I slam into someone. I stagger to stay upright, but I know it's no use. Whoever I hit was like the equivalent of a brick wall, and now I'm about to hit the floor on top of that.

Fantastic. It looks like I've found that bad luck again, after all. I should have known it would be with him.

Large hands grip my biceps, hauling me up a moment before I hit the ground. I react on instinct as I all but flail around to try to get free.

I've worked too hard to get this far.

"Woah, Aeri, calm down!" A deep male voice barks, shaking me slightly, and it takes me a moment to realize it's not him but…

"Talian?"

I haven't seen him in a while, not since the night I accidentally ogled him while he danced in one of the cages, not that I knew it was him then. Since then, I've been careful to avoid letting my gaze roam to him, despite how beautiful he might be.

No, I don't want to be around a man who thinks it's acceptable to corner me when he's naked, or lick my face.

The memory of him licking me the other night at the bar makes my head hurt, and I get a strong sense of déjà vu.

"Aeri!" His voice is harsh and demanding, and his eyes are the same. Not at all his usual carefree self, even though he's clearly working. His corset is a beautiful butterfly pattern that oddly enough matches my skirt, and his wings are the same as mine.

The music that had been nothing more than background noise through my panic finally breaks through, and though I don't know the song, I don't need to.

‘Run, baby, run, run for your life,'

I know it's not a coincidence. He's playing with me, and every second I stay here only puts everyone in more danger.

"I have to go!" I say in a rush, shoving at his chest so that I can move past him.

He stumbles to the side, and I'm almost positive it's only because I've caught him off guard—not because I'm strong, because I'm not—but I don't stop to find out.

"Aeri!"

Every nerve in my body feels like it's on fire, even as my teeth chatter. I know something's wrong, but I can't stop now. I make my way through the front of the club, and for once, Toji, our big, scary bouncer, doesn't seem so scary.

No, I wish he was the worst of my concerns right now, but he's not. The monster I fear is much worse. He hides behind pretty words and promises, appearing as if he's just like everyone else, but I know the truth.

The same way I knew he was never going to let me go.

I slam through the front door and right into a line of people who hastily push me back. Their grumbles fill the air around me, but it's just background noise. The only real sound in my head right now is the erratic beat of my heart as my vision swims, and I worry I might pass out.

"Aeri!"

Move!

Shaking my head, I pull in a lungful of the crisp night air, and thankfully, my panic subsides enough that my vision clears, and I can keep moving.

I won't bring him to them.

He can't have them.