Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

KAYDEN

T hird period and Rochester was up 2-1.

We've lost momentum, a shift in energy. Frustration weighed us down, on the ice, in the box. Like Maddox, who skated back and forth, shaking his head.

Coach called for a line change and I was hungry to get back out there. Healey barreled down the ice, but I was ready for him. Him and his teammates.

The hits got aggressive, the crowd chanted louder, and the tension soared. An away game always hits hard. That win can make you feel like you're gonna take on the world. That loss? It gets in your head. But if it stays there? Then you're fucked.

Rochester doesn't score on us, but we don't score either. And it ends 2-1.

Our first loss of the season and it fucking hurt. We do the usual lineup after the game and shake hands with Rochester, but everyone on our team is skating like a zombie, their faces unreadable, their shoulders slumped.

"It's nerves," Dane muttered as we stepped off the rink. "It'll settle. It's one game. We got this."

"I fucking hope so. We were so damn close."

Everyone's left the ice, or, so I thought. When I glanced back, my eyes caught on Maddox standing in his net, hands on the bar, head down, holding on. I'm tempted to go back out there, but I don't need his backlash.

Instead, I turned away and kept walking beside Dane.

"We lost by one freaking goal," I sighed. "I hate that. And the whole game it felt like we were playing more defense than offense. No offence."

Dane laughed and patted my shoulder. "None taken. And yeah, I know what you mean. With so many new players, I guess it's going to take time to find our groove. But we'll get there."

"Hopefully before the end of the season."

I was a glass-half-full guy, but my anxieties were cresting. Even when I was struggling with schoolwork, I could always count on hockey.

"Truth? It wasn't just our offense that needs improving," Dane replied. "Silas was tense, and so were you."

"I'm having a hard time anticipating his moves," I admitted to my friend.

"You gotta find a way to communicate," Dane paused. "And, speaking of that, don't let Maddox get to you."

"What? What's he got to do with anything?"

Dane stared at me.

"Okay," I shrugged. "Maybe I'm also stressing about my roommate."

"I know you. Maddox isn't an approachable guy, so your best bet is to ignore his attitude and just do you. Not everyone is going to want to be your friend, and that's okay. It's better to let him be. Don't stress over him."

Maybe Dane was right. I tended to overthink things, and I wanted to get along with everybody. Why was I so hell-bent on getting to know our goalie? Why couldn't I leave things be?

We headed for the locker room and I knew what was coming next. Coach was standing at the entrance, arms crossed, face expressionless. He didn't give a nod or a say a word. Unlike other coaches I'd worked with, Banning didn't need to yell. His silent glare was just as effective.

Until all my teammates gathered around, and then Coach let loose.

"I don't need to tell you guys that today was disappointing as hell. I felt it, I saw it, you experienced it. That's not the kind of teamwork I expect and demand from you. Be prepared for our upcoming practices to be long ones. We're going to do drills until the rink closes or you can't move, whichever comes first," he barked. "Clean up and head for the bus. We'll talk more at dinner."

Coach stalked off and most of the guys sat there, too numb to move or talk. I started undressing, whipping off my jersey and then my pads. Glancing around, I noticed Maddox sitting on the last bench, mask off, head in hand. This time, however, I listened to Dane's advice and instead of walking by Maddox and teasing him, I headed in the opposite direction, towards the showers.

Once I was scrubbed up, I quickly changed, grabbed my bag, and followed Jace and Dane out the door.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I don't know if I can eat. That loss has my stomach in knots," I admitted.

Jace elbowed me. "It's only one game."

"Yeah, but it's still a big-ass bummer."

"Don't wallow in it. It's done. We'll watch the tape and learn from it," Jace reassured me. "Next game, we'll be the ones kicking ass."

We got on the bus, and I grabbed the seat next to Dane. Slowly, the rest of the team filed on. No sign of Maddox. I was tempted to get off the bus and go look for him.

Let it go.

A few minutes later, Coach got on, then our driver. Maddox was the last one on, again. He ignored me (I know, shocking), and headed for the back of the bus.

"Hey Coach, is Sean going to be in goal next game?" Axel asked.

Oh fuck. Why was Axel deliberately trying to be an asshole?

Coach got up and turned around.

"Focus on your playmaking, Lund," he bit out. "And remember, this is a team sport. We win or lose not because of one person, but because of everyone. If you don't like hockey, there's always speed skating."

Ooh, burn.

Coach sat back down and signaled for our driver to get going. We hit the road and by the time we arrived at our destination, my raging appetite had returned. It probably helped that I wasn't sitting next to Maddox. Dane was right. I had to stop being such a retriever and let the guy go do whatever the hell he wanted. After all, I had plenty of friends. And Maddox made it clear he wasn't interested in making any.

Of course, all those intentions fell out the window as soon as we got inside the restaurant. Maddox was sitting at the end of the row again, by himself. He wasn't talking to anyone, and no one was talking to him.

Shutting off Dane's advice—and my better judgment—I got up and walked over to the end of the table and sat down across from my snarly roommate.

He looked up briefly, and for once, his expression wasn't angry. He was upset. Holy shit. I guess he was like the rest of us.

"There was nothing you could have done differently," I blurted out. "Healy was insane today; no one could touch him. And I'll take the blame for part of it. Our defense wasn't what it should have been. We let you down."

Maddox reached up and gripped the headphones that sat around his neck. I waited for the inevitable ‘fuck off.'

But it never came.

"Why are you talking to me?" he bit out.

"Why are you talking to me ?" I countered.

We stared at each other in a showdown, neither of us wanting to give in. After having our asses handed to us by Rochester, the last thing I wanted was to lose. Even if it came to a stupid staring contest. Hockey players; we're weird.

"I wasn't." Maddox broke first. "You came to me."

"Yeah, I did. You keep claiming that you want to be left alone, but I don't buy it. Why pick a team sport if you're anti-everyone?"

Maddox licked his lips and why my eyes were now locked in on his mouth, I had no fucking idea.

"I have good reason for being the way I am and that's all I'm gonna say. Now, you can accept it, and go back to your friends at the other end of the table, or you can sit here and talk to yourself. Your choice. And as to why hockey, well, to start, I'm Canadian, so duh. And I picked goaltending for a reason. I'm introverted and it suits. Does that answer your question?"

"No. If anything, I have more of them." I leaned forward. "Like, what do your tattoos mean? Where in Canada did you grow up? Tell me more about being introverted."

"Fuck me. I've never met anyone so goddamn nosy in all my life," Maddox snapped and ran an agitated hand through his hair.

I was about to reply to his comment, but our server arrived and started taking orders. Flustered, I volunteered to go last. I pulled out my phone and tapped my reading app so I could review the restaurant's menu. There was no mistaking that Maddox was staring at me, but when I looked up, his gaze was more confused than angry.

Say it. Tell him.

I looked down at my phone, figured out what they had to offer, and what I wanted to eat. "I'll have the ribeye with mushrooms, medium, fries, and a Diet Coke. Thanks."

Oddly enough, Maddox ordered the same thing.

"You know, after a loss like the one today, I don't feel like talking much either," I admitted. "But inevitably, my mouth won't stop moving."

Maddox bit his lower lip. Whether in frustration or trying to hide a smile, I didn't know. But I was going to find out.

"What were you listening to?" I asked, pushing ahead. "Another podcast?"

"No." He shook his head. "Music."

He barely got the words out, like they were painful for him to speak. I don't think his jaw moved either.

"What kind?" I prodded, curious.

"The kind you listen to."

"Can't you just answer a simple question?" I asked.

"If you're gonna insist on annoying me with your presence, I need to make it entertaining," he snarked.

"For you."

"Obvi."

I stared at Mad until he rolled his eyes and sighed.

"I like grunge music from the ‘90s, okay?" he muttered.

"That figures."

That got me a choice finger in response. I'd take it.

"I like pop," I admitted. "Taylor, Sabrina?—"

Maddox scoffed. "Don't you dare give me a fucking bracelet."

"Oh man, what a great idea! I could make them for the entire team. Why didn't I think of that sooner? We should've done that for Welcome Week."

I looked down the table and motioned to Dane, who was talking with Jace, Colin, and Julian.

"What's up, Kay?" Dane shouted over the din.

"Friendship bracelets for the entire team, D! I'm on it!"

Dane chuckled and shrugged. "Why not?"

I turned to Mad again. "See, the captain thinks it's a great idea."

"He said ‘ why not ?' not ‘ do it .' That's not a ringing endorsement."

I waved Maddox off. "It's gonna be so much fun. You want to help me?"

"Do I look like I want to make fucking bracelets?"

"Don't be so rigid. Guys like making jewelry too."

"I didn't mean it like that," Maddox hissed. "I'm not into arts and crafts, alright? I left that behind in kindergarten, along with face painting and puppet shows."

I laughed at his comment.

"College is all about new experiences. Come on, don't be so freaking uptight," I urged him. I was pushing my luck for sure, but I was already all in. "Make bracelets with me, Mad."

Of course, our server returned at that exact moment and started snickering. Until Maddox turned his glare from me to the waitstaff. Then there was total silence. Well, except for the sound of our plates hitting the table.

"No," Maddox replied when the server walked away. "But if you're going to insist on making them, I get a say in the message I want on mine. Any message. Got it?"

"I'll hand out warning bracelets first."