Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

MADDOX

T hank fuck we were driving back tonight and not staying over. I didn't know how much more of Kayden I could take. His constant chatter was frying my patience and my brain cells.

So, why then did I keep talking to him at the restaurant? Maybe it was the shock of the loss. The fact I'd let not one, but two goals in net. Disappointment reverberated in my head like the worst kind of regret. And I wanted something, anything else, to take the place of those memories. I was so fucking pissed at myself. Disappointed didn't even come close.

But I couldn't let it fester. Strong goalies don't give up and they don't give in.

And I was sure that with practice, with more time on the ice, our team would find a way. If we got our synchronicity right. It might require an attitude adjustment on my part. And, you know, me actually talking to my teammates.

Admittedly, I hadn't made a friend in years. Didn't want to. Didn't need to. So, I was out of practice for sure. Not that Kayden and I would be friends. But it was entertaining to listen to him. And to meet someone who, despite repeated warnings to stay away, kept popping up like an eager groundhog. Or, like an addiction you couldn't quit.

I honestly didn't know what to make of him. The guy needed a fucking keeper. He was so goofy and na?ve. Maybe I didn't like him. Or, I didn't want to like him. I wasn't sure which. What I did know was that I didn't like it when Axel made fun of him. I was strangely protective. Which was not like me. I learned the hard way to protect myself first.

For the first time in years, I was curious about another person. And I had no clue as to why. Why him? Why now? Was it the whole being in a different country, and a new school thing? That had to be it. I was out of my element and still finding my footing. On the ice and off.

"Hey, roomie. Thanks for saving me a seat," Kayden announced as he sat beside me.

I didn't, but I couldn't be bothered correcting him. So much for being at the back of the bus, where it was dark and quiet. Was . But instead of letting him get to me, I decided to turn the tables.

"What was that app you were using in the restaurant?" I asked.

I'd noticed how carefully he'd scanned the menu, holding his phone close to him, like he didn't want anyone else to see what he was doing.

Kayden's mouth opened, but no words came out.

"Is this how I get you to stop talking? Ask you a question? Holy fuck. Thank God, I figured you out."

Kayden nudged me with his elbow and for once, I didn't jolt.

"Shut up."

"That's ready fucking ironic coming from you," I replied.

"It's—" Kayden bit his lower lip and whispered. "It's a reading app. I'm dyslexic."

Oh. I wasn't expecting that.

"Why are you whispering?" I asked. "Is it a secret?"

"No. I mean, yes. Sort of," he sighed and ran a hand through his messy hair. "I don't tell everyone. Not that I'm ashamed, but some people treat me differently when they find out. Like I'm stupid. Or it's contagious or something. Or I'm not worth their time. I got bullied a lot in high school. Until I hit my growth spurt."

If there was one thing I couldn't stand, it was bullies. Sure, I was bitchy, and I kept people at arm's length—further, even—but I did it to protect myself. And them.

Something else about Kayden's admission made my stomach twinge. No. I'd probably just eaten too much at dinner. That had to be it, right?

"Wait, is that why you were freaking out that first day in economics class? Cause something happened to your app?"

Kayden nodded.

"Yeah, it froze. And I have software on my laptop too, but sometimes I forget to charge it. Or I forget my charger," he sighed. "I've also got ADHD, so school can be a hot mess for me a lot of the time. Despite meds and tutors."

"So, your brain works differently," I offered. "College is one way of learning stuff. Not the only way. I've learned more online, in my own time, than school could ever teach me. Don't let others get in your head. It's like when we're on the ice. You don't think about all the fucking noise around you. Focus on what you can control. And fuck everyone else's rules."

"Tell that to my parents. And future employers."

"Your goal is the league, right?"

"For sure." Kayden nodded. "All I want to do is to play hockey. But, I need a plan for after. Still working on that."

"What's your major?"

What were all these questions coming out of my mouth? I didn't even recognize myself.

"Social work. I want to advocate for people with disabilities. Differing abilities," Kayden replied. "That is, if I can manage to get my degree."

I nodded. "That's cool. At least you're gonna do something useful. Not become one of those faceless corporate assholes."

"Mad, did you compliment me?"

"Fuck off."

"Your mouth says fuck off, but your body language says—" Kayden gave me a long once over and and I started sweating. "No, it still says fuck off."

"Remember that."

"At least I know what your bracelet is going to say."

"Exactly. I'll hold my arm up and everyone will back away."

The bus started moving, rolling out of Rochester. Maybe, once I was back on campus, I'd stop talking and revert to my usual grunts and glares. Today was a weird fucking trip. And I didn't even get high.

"Well, that's enough human interaction for me for today. For a lifetime," I admitted as I reached for my laptop. "I've gotta work on my economics essay."

"There's an essay?!" Kayden shouted.

Heads turned in our direction and I gave my teammates my favorite sign.

I gave Kayden the side eye. "It's due on Wednesday."

"Shit!" Kayden blurted and reached for his bag. He pulled out his tablet and started typing. "Oh yeah, phew. I have a note in my calendar to work on it tomorrow. Jesus, Mad, don't scare me like that."

I rolled my eyes. "Be quiet and let me work. Can you do that? One hour?"

"One hour? I don't know if I can do it for one minute."

Placing my headphones on, I glared at Kayden and made a zipping motion over my mouth. His face turned bright red. He started working on his tablet, but his knee was jumping, the seats were vibrating, and there was no way I was going to be able to concentrate.

Do it. Write.

Could I? Not with Kayden staring at me. I was barely into my first paragraph and I couldn't take it anymore.

I whipped off my headphones. "What?"

"Do you have a girlfriend? Or boyfriend? I shouldn't assume." He paused. "Are you dating?"

"What the fuck is it to you?" I snapped.

"I'm just curious," he shrugged. "You said you don't like people. So, does that mean you're not into sex? I mean, I think about it. A lot. Not you. I mean, sex. Not with you. Just sex. In general."

Kayden's face was near purple. And he wasn't the only one. I swallowed hard, not prepared for this conversation. For Kayden, for this conversation, for anything that happened today. I wanted to go home. Maybe if I slipped our driver a fifty he could run me across the border to Canada…

"I get it," I bit out. "And the answer is none of your business."

"Okay, but?—"

"Kayden, don't. Talk my ear off about anything else, just not that, alright?"

Kayden nodded. "I'm sorry. You're right. I don't know why I asked that. Ignore me."

"Ignore you? What do you think I've been trying to do since I met you?"

"Will you two shut up!" Axel interrupted. He got up out of his seat, two rows in front of us, and turned around. "Some of us are trying to sleep. Isn't it bad enough we sucked ass today? Now we have to listen to you two argue?"

I placed my laptop aside and stood up. "Watch it, Axel."

"Or what?" he bit back.

"Take it easy," Kayden added. "Maddox and I were just talking."

Axel scoffed. "Whatever. Keep it down."

The testy forward turned around and sat down again. I waited for Coach Banning to intervene, but there was silence. He was probably sound asleep like everyone else.

Except me. And Kayden.

My head fell back against the seat, and I stared at the ceiling.

"Can I ask you something?" Kayden whispered.

No fucking kidding. I bit back an unexpected—and unwanted—laugh. That was how many times today? More than I'd laughed in…years.

I will not be charmed. I will not be charmed. Stay pissy, stay pissy…

"What?"

"Could you help me with the economics essay this week? If you have time. If you want to. Well, you probably don't want to, but I figured, now that we're gonna be bracelet besties?—"

Bracelet what?

I turned my head to snark at him, but I didn't realize he'd leaned over, so close that I could count every golden freckle on his face. A full-on shiver wracked my body. Did the driver have the A/C cranked up?

Against my better judgment, common sense, logic, and sanity, I opened my mouth.

"Sure."

What the fuck was I doing?

"Awesome. Give me your phone." Kayden held out his hand.

Reluctantly, I passed it over and watched as Kayden typed in his phone number.

"This is going to be great," he gushed.

"No," I bit out and snatched my phone back. "Only contact me if it's about the course. You start texting me about anything else, and I'll block you."

Kayden sat there and gave me a shit-eating grin.

Fuck. I'd been outplayed.