Chapter 36

CHAPTER 36

MADDOX

A fter scarfing down breakfast and then taking a walk around town, the five of us headed off to the gym to burn off our calories. And our tension. There was a shitload of that. Most of it went unsaid. What else was there to talk about?

I honestly had no idea how Coach Banning was gonna react to the news that me and Kayden were fucking. Okay, dating. I reminded myself not to swear in front of Coach, but it wouldn't be easy. And if Banning so much as suggested he'd pull Kayden off the team, or punish him in any way for what was going on between us, I would protest, and protest hard.

We couldn't have been the first teammates to fuck around. No way.

Still, it's not like we were both out. Or that we were gonna shove our relationship in anyone's face. It was all under control. Nothing was going to change. We'd still play our asses off, we'd still win games, we'd still be ourselves.

I sounded confident, but who the fuck knows?

Dane and Jackson left the gym first, then Jace. Me and Kayden stayed behind and worked on the weight machines. The only problem was, I was getting turned on watching him. And I wasn't the only one who was staring. I saw plenty of students, girls and guys, checking Kayden out. No wonder. He was built like a Viking—tall, ripped, hot as fuck. And who could miss that bouncy ass? Odd thing was, Kayden didn't even notice the attention, or if he did, he didn't care. But I did. I wanted to tell all of them to get lost. Stop staring at what's mine.

Kayden was on his back, doing bench presses, while I stood behind him, spotting. And taking in the view, of course. He made lifting over a hundred pounds look easy. When he finally put the weighted bar down, he stared up at me and licked his lips. If I wasn't already sweating through my tank top, I would be now. Then I imagined straddling his face while he ate my ass and suddenly it was time to leave.

"Shower, dorm," I grunted and stalked off to the locker room.

I needed a cold fucking shower.

Stripping down, I did just that. I never thought twice about getting naked in a change room and showering with other guys, but now? If Kayden so much as stepped near me, I wouldn't have to come out. My hard dick would do it for me.

I washed up as fast as I could and dried off in record time. Kayden sauntered into the change room when I was coming out of the showers. I did my best not to eye him up. Okay, I stared at his ass while he walked away, but I made sure to do it while no one was looking.

I got dressed, reached for my phone, and texted him.

Maddox: Take a right when you leave the gym. I'll be waiting around the corner.

Then I grabbed my bag and headed for the door. The windchill was biting today, so I walked around to the side of the building.

Leaning against the brick wall, the air was so cold my breath looked like plumes of smoke. Speaking of which…despite the carbs and the workout, my nerves were sparking. I pulled out my cigs and lit one up, inhaling deep, letting the warmth seep into my lungs.

I hadn't had the urge to smoke lately, but this morning was a lot for me to handle. Not just waking up in bed with Kayden, but all that stuff about my father and my mom. Stuff that I always buried deep. I didn't like to think about it, talk about it, or, worst of all, feel it. Then there was the fact that Kayden and I had to tell Coach about our relationship.

Not that we'd done anything wrong. But given our teammates' reactions at breakfast, it was starting to feel that way.

I thought about where I wanted to be in a few years. Playing for a professional hockey team, traveling North America, maybe the world. Hockey had been my only goal, the one glimmer of hope that I clung to when I was at my lowest. Me and Kayden wouldn't change that, would it? I shook my head. I was getting way ahead of myself.

Who knows what next week would bring, never mind next year? And yet, when I pictured the future, I saw him there. I couldn't explain it. It wasn't logical, but he was there.

"Not this again. I thought you were done with the smoking."

Kayden sauntered up to me, his beanie pushing his hair into his eyes, a teasing grin on his face. The coldness that lived inside of me thawed. Just a little.

"I didn't promise anything," I replied with a smirk.

"But you could."

"Come here," I motioned to him, then dropped the butt on the ground.

Kayden stepped up to me, leaning in, blanketing me with his body. His size alone could have triggered me, but it didn't. Just like I knew that something was off the minute my father took over my life, I knew that Kayden would never hurt me. My instincts were never wrong.

"Thanks for teasing me back there," I whispered. "I was trying not to get a boner in the gym."

"Me teasing? You were the one walking around in those tight shorts and tank top. Everyone was staring."

I shook my head. "You've got that the wrong way around."

"No way," he countered. So humble, my Kay. "Is that why you took off so quickly? Did I make you hard?"

I glanced around. No one was walking by on the street. Or if they were, they had their hoods up and were walking fast, given the weather.

Reaching up, I kissed him, but I made it quick.

"I was picturing you on that bench, naked," I confessed, watching his eyes darken. "Me straddling your face while you ate my ass."

"Fuck, Mad."

We lunged for each other, slamming our mouths together, the kiss so fierce and hot that I didn't feel the bite of winter air around me anymore. But I sure as hell loved the sting when Kayden gently bit my lower lip, then sucked on it. Anytime Kayden touched me, my inhibitions melted away. I couldn't think. The only thing that mattered was getting closer, kissing him deeper. More, more, more.

"Kayden? Maddox?"

We both froze at the sound of our names. When I turned around, I spotted Axel standing at the far end of the alley, duffel bag in hand, staring at us.

"Holy shit," he whispered.

Goddamn it.

Kayden stumbled back from me so fast he nearly fell on the icy ground. I steadied him as best I could, but my stomach clenched tight when I saw the panic on his face.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I snapped.

He held up his bag. "Going to the gym like Coach asked, where else? What the fuck's going on here? Are you guys together?"

"Get lost, Lund," I bit out.

"Now it all makes sense. Sharing a room on the road, and all the fuss about those stupid bracelets," Axel sneered. "Does Coach know?"

I moved to stand in front of Kayden. My boyfriend was eerily silent.

"I said, get lost. And mind your own damn business."

"I'm making it mine. Banning doesn't know, does he?" Axel scoffed as he walked closer. "You don't have to answer. I can tell by Kayden's face. He's shit at playing it cool. Well, that's about to change."

"Don't." I stalked up to him. "We're going to tell him. Until then, keep your mouth shut."

Axel shook his head. "This isn't good for the team. You know it, and I know it. It's intense enough playing at this level. We don't need personal shit fucking things up."

"Nothing is getting fucked up," I insisted.

Axel stepped closer and pointed at me. "You can't guarantee that. And what happens when the rest of the team finds out about you two? And the teams we play against? You think about the scrutiny you're going to face when they find out you're queer? It's going to be a shitshow. Guaranteed. How's that going to affect our game?"

I wasn't in total denial. Axel wasn't totally wrong.

"It won't be a problem," Kayden finally replied. "It happened and now it's done. Over."

I was frozen again and no, I wasn't talking about the temperature.

"Kay."

"Go, Axel. Alright? Leave. Please," Kayden whispered.

Axel glanced at Kayden and then back at me again. "Come clean to Coach before I do it for you."

With that final warning, he turned and stalked off. Leaving me and Kay standing there, staring at each other, snowflakes kissing our faces.

"It's done?" I spat out.

"I had to tell him something to get him to back off," Kayden bit out. "I don't trust him. He's going to tell everyone."

I ran a frozen hand through my hair and bit back a scream. Nothing was ever fucking simple.

"What do you want to do?" Kayden asked me.

"We tell Coach. We tell the rest of the team. Then we deal with the consequences."

"And if the team doesn't accept it?"

I held my breath. "I don't know."

"That's a shit answer, Mad."

"What do you want me to say? I'm not psychic, Kay."

Maybe this was crazy. What was I thinking? I'd finally eked out a bit of happiness, then bam, it was ripped away from me. Serves me right for letting my guard down, for thinking with my dick, and not my head. Not just my dick. My heart was involved in this madness, too. Even worse.

"Let's go," Kayden muttered, and motioned to the street.

We walked in silence, the crunch of the snow under our boots. The closer we got to the rink, the more I felt like puking. When we finally arrived, and knocked on Coach Banning's door, I thought I was going to faint.

"Enter!"

Kayden opened the door, and we stepped inside.

"What's up?" Coach asked as we closed the door and sat down.

"We have something important to tell you," I muttered and clenched my hands together so tight I was cutting off my circulation.

"If it's about tomorrow's game?—"

"No," Kaden interrupted. "It's personal."

Coach leaned back in his chair and stared at Kayden and then me. Banning could read a play and the players. I was sure we didn't need to say anything else. He knew. He fucking knew. Then it dawned on me that our coach wasn't much older than us. Maybe by a decade? Thirty, thirty-one? But I'm sure he was a hell of a lot wiser.

"Kayden and I are—" I stared at Banning. Would it be rude to say, ‘ we're fucking ?' Definitely. "You know, involved."

Coach ran both hands through his hair and cupped the back of his head. He smashed his lips together and dropped his head back, staring at the ceiling.

I glanced over at Kayden. He looked as terrified as I felt.

"Are you freaking kidding me?" Banning muttered and then placed both hands on his desk.

"This is not the kind of thing we'd joke about," I replied.

"Technically, there's nothing I can say. You're not breaking any rules. There's no policy at Sutton U about intra-team relationships—" Coach paused.

"But?" Kayden added.

"Does anyone else on the team know?"

I nodded.

"Dane and Jace. Axel—" I paused. "Axel just found out. He caught us kissing. He's pretty concerned about how this will affect our on-ice performance. All of them are, but Axel's more…insistent."

"I'd have to agree with the concerns. When personal feelings get involved, things can get heated, and we lose our perspective. Truthfully, I've never been faced with this situation before," Coach admitted. "Players coming out to me, yes. But two teammates that are dating, no. Or is that the right word? Did this happen, past tense, or is it still going on?"

I looked over at Kayden again. Without thinking, I reached for his hand.

"We're in a relationship," I croaked.

Banning was shocked. Kayden was shocked.

But no one more than me.