Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

MADDOX

T he first official game of the season went like this: there was pre-game nausea, trash talk—other players, not me—and the chugging of a shit ton of electrolyte water. Then came the near-fatal anxiety when I stepped out of the locker room and stepped onto the rink. And finally, the rush of exhilaration when the puck dropped, the sudden hush of the crowd, and the loud crack of the rubber hitting the ice. That puck was hypnotizing, and it was the only thing I thought about for three periods, aka two and a half hours of play.

Today, we faced off against Wissick, a neighboring college from New Hampshire. Though, there was nothing friendly about them, us, or this game. The first period unleashed a torrent of pent-up nerves. And we hadn't completely settled by the end of it. Jace and Axel accidentally collided while chasing the puck, and Silas let one of Wissick's forwards get the drop on him.

By the second period, there were still no goals, so it was anyone's game. I glanced over at Kayden. He hadn't made any further move to talk to me since our first meeting. Just the usual nods of awareness that teammates shared on the ice.

That was fine by me. Stay the fuck away.

When the third period rolled around, I'd already stopped twenty-two shots on goal, and I was still holding strong. Despite my stormy expression, I was over the moon. This was where I belonged. This was where nothing could stop me. Well, as long as I had good defensemen to help me.

I begrudgingly admitted to myself that I was glad Kayden was on my team. For his size, he was quick to react, so attuned to where the puck was at all times. And being in the defensive zone, he took the hits necessary to protect me. Him and the other d-men too. Finn was smaller, but scrappy, Julian was lightning quick with a temper to match, and Silas? I hadn't quite figured him out yet. Sometimes, he moved with anticipation, and other times, he seemed bored. Or caught up in his head? I had no idea. It was early days yet.

Five and a half minutes left in the final period, and I watched as Jace tore off down the ice with the puck, leaving Wissick's team in his icy dust. Axel and Dane weren't far behind, heading into the fray. From my point of view, I could see almost everything, every play, and missed opportunities, too.

"Rowland! Rowland!" The crowd chanted Jace's name.

And with good reason. Jace was one of the best forwards on the college ice, weaving in and out of Wissick's players like a slippery eel. When he got his opportunity, he took the shot. The hometown crowd reacted, jumping up to their feet and hollering as loud as they could as the lamp lit up.

Holy shit. Suddenly, we were on the board. Our first goal of the season.

Jace glided around the net, hands in the air, and came back around to leap on Dane. The rest of our team followed, piling up around each other, shouting and cheering each other on. I tapped my stick on the ice, my version of acknowledging my teammate's success.

Suddenly, Kayden turned around and locked eyes with me. I nodded, and he did the same before turning away. That was as friendly as we were gonna get.

The excitement of that goal stayed with me for the rest of the period.

Dane was just as eager as Jace, stick-handling the puck with a skill and an ease that impressed me. And he pulled off our second goal of the game. There was more cheering, more chanting, and another incredible high.

Until the minutes ticked down to seconds. Unfortunately, a timeout and line change for Wissick brought out their top forward, a guy named Lakeley, and he couldn't be stopped. The shot was so fast, I hardly believed it happened at all. It touched the edge of my blocker and bounced into my net. He scored on me with thirty seconds remaining, my earlier elation reduced to ash.

But we still finished strong, and when the final buzzer sounded, I gave a sigh of relief. Cougars 2-1.

Was it the best game I ever played? Unfortunately, no. But the thrill of winning consoled any disappointment I had with myself. That was the hardest part about being a goalie. Managing expectations. Not letting a goal get to you. Holding strong, not only physically, but mentally. All game, every game.

It was so fucking ironic. In my everyday life, most days, I was barely holding on.

Kayden

Dinner after the game was a team event with every player as giddy as me. Well, almost everyone. Silas left early without so much as a ‘goodbye.' And our new goalie? Maddox had his ear pods in as he ate silently, ignoring everyone around him. I was going to tell him he was being rude as fuck, but it wasn't my place. I left that to Coach or Dane. Then again, not everyone was a talker like me. Still, we were going to be spending a lot of time together over the next season between practices, games, and workouts. There had to be a way to get through to him. He couldn't ignore us forever. It was bad for the team.

"You okay?" Dane nudged me.

"Yeah, more than good," I replied as I focused on my friend. "You?"

Dane shrugged his shoulders. "I'm great, but the post-game exhaustion is starting to hit."

I nodded. I'd probably be there in another hour or two.

"So, I wanted to ask you something," I said and took another sip of my soda. "Well, the entire team, actually."

Dane nodded. "What's up?"

"I've signed up to volunteer with a local sports charity that helps kids with disabilities. It's called All For Play. I'd like to see if some of the guys might want to help."

"That's awesome, Kay. How much time are we talking?"

"A couple of hours?"

"I'm in."

"Cool."

Dane got everyone's attention and raised his glass. "As Captain of the Cougars, I want to thank everyone for an amazing game today. We're starting out strong, so let's keep it going!"

There were cheers and glasses clinked.

"Kayden?" Dane motioned to me to go ahead.

I cleared my throat. "I know we've all got busy schedules, but I'm volunteering for a local children's charity and wondering if anyone wants to help. It's two hours, once a month. No pressure either way. You can text me if you're interested. Thanks."

There were nods around the table and I left it at that. Guys had a lot on their plate with hockey and classes. Then I thought about juggling everything I had on the go this year. And my struggle to maintain my grades. I was probably taking on too much, but I hated saying no. Especially when it came to volunteering. It was second only to hockey in terms of what I loved to do.

"Kayden!" Jace called out from the other end of the table. "Sign me up."

I nodded, appreciative of his enthusiasm.

Maddox suddenly stood up, walked around the table to talk to Coach, and then left the room.

"Was it something I said?" I quipped out loud when he was out of sight.

"More than likely," Ethan snarked. "But we gotta give the guy some slack. He's a goalie. They're all bizarro. Right, Sean?"

"No." Sean rolled his eyes. "We're the normal ones. It's the rest of you that are a pain in the a?—"

Coach coughed and interrupted Sean's comment.

"I've got to get going, but great game today." Banning nodded. "I'll see you at practice in two days."

Coach paid the bill and headed out. Everyone filed out of the restaurant, with me, Dane, and Jace walking back to the dorm. When we got to the third floor, I said goodbye to my friends and headed for my room. I barely made it to my bed and it was lights out.

I would've loved to have slept in the next day, but there was no rest for this college student.

After heading to the cafeteria and scarfing down a questionable breakfast burrito, I hopped in a rideshare and arrived at All For Play. Once a month, they organized a designated game day for the kids. Today, it was adapted basketball.

I met with the activity coordinator, a woman named Keeley Truitt, helped her set up the space, and met all the kids before I refereed the game. Watching these nine- and ten-year-olds—many of them in wheelchairs—making friends and having fun was its own reward. It reminded me to never take what I had for granted. I always knew that hockey was it for me, but helping my community was just as important.

After the game, I was invited by Keeley and the kids to join their pizza lunch. Hey, I never said no to free food either.

"I'm organizing a sledge hockey series this winter," Keely announced when we were eating. "Are you familiar with it?"

"I've been to a few games back in Maine," I replied. "I could ask if the college would be willing to let us use the rink."

"The kids would love visiting Sutton U, but if not, there's a local rink we can book. I've already sourced the equipment we need."

"You mean the sleds?"

She nodded. "Our fundraiser this fall should cover it. Fingers crossed we hit our target and then I can start planning for the new year."

"I've already mentioned to my teammates about volunteering. I'm sure they'd be keen for sledge hockey."

"I'll keep you updated," Keeley replied.

Once lunch was done, I said my goodbyes to the kids, with promises to return.

When I arrived back on campus, I went straight to the gym for a light workout. Instead of waiting for the elevator, I took the stairs to the second floor. As usual, I was all up in my head, and not even noticing where I was going. Until I ran right into someone.

Not someone. Maddox.

"Oof, sorry," I blurted out, steadying myself.

"Watch it," Maddox snapped, grabbing onto the railing.

"I said, I'm sorry."

"Get out of my way," he hissed.

I stood aside with my hands up in the air and watched as Maddox ran down the rest of the stairs.

My good mood vanished along with our goalie.