Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

KAYDEN

" W hat did you think of the game? And the new guys?"

Sitting in front of my stall, sweaty and padded up, I glanced up at my friend Dane and thought about his question. I was thrilled to be out on the ice again with my team. Even if it was a practice game.

But I wasn't so happy about meeting our new goalie, Maddox Rocher. Number two. Kind of an odd number for a goalie to pick. Usually, it was one. Whatever. Goalies were always strange. But this one was grumpy as hell. No, that word didn't even begin to describe him. When he told me to ‘ fuck off ,' I was stunned. I'd never experienced that kind of hostility from a teammate before. He didn't even know me, and already, he hated me?

Those smoky eyes of his sliced deep, like catching my skin on a freshly sharpened blade. And I was pretty sure I was still bleeding.

Dane had cautioned me about Maddox's acidic attitude, but as usual, I stumbled forward. Then I thought about the other guys that were new to the team; Silas and Axel—a defenseman with a smart mouth and a cocky forward with a wicked slapshot.

"The energy's fucking intense," I replied. "Pretty feral."

Dane nodded and yanked off his jersey. "I know what you mean. We've got a lot of talent, but high expectations. Everyone's out to prove themselves."

Coach Banning had given us a post-practice welcome speech. Getting us ready for the season. The pressure was on this year to reach the top college spot. Sutton had consistently ranked in the top ten, but last year, under his leadership, was the first time the school had broken the top five. Now, it was onwards and upwards.

And, despite my shitty start with our goalie, I was pumped. Like all the guys on our team, I was aiming for a spot in the professional league in the not-too-distant future. My dream job. And I wouldn't let anything or anyone affect that. Or change who I was.

I tried my best to make friends with everyone. It's the way I was raised, in a family of eight. You go along and get along or chaos erupts. Not only that, but when you're the odd one out—struggling to learn, well, anything—in a sea of high achievers, you find a way. A way to fit in. My two brothers and three sisters were smart as fuck; top of their class. Like my parents, who owned a successful real estate company. Me? What did I have? Size, strength, and a knack for hockey. Oh, and I had people skills. I could poke fun at myself and make others laugh. ‘Goofy,' ‘golden,' and ‘adorkable' were tags I was used to. But it had taken me a long time to get here.

In high school, before I hit my growth spurt, I was picked on relentlessly. Every day I was told by other students that I was stupid or worse. Things got so bad that to this day, I still hear the echo of their taunts in my head.

"Dumb fuck, why don't you quit already?"

"Moron."

"Loser."

It's just words. I'd been told to move on . Get over it. Easier said than done. That shit replays in your head like earworms, and never leaves.

My phone buzzed, but I ignored it. It was probably another message from my academic advisor asking for a meeting. Unlike most students, I didn't get accepted at Sutton because of my outstanding grades. Thanks to hockey, I'd earned a full athletic scholarship. But there were conditions. I was supposed to maintain a minimum 2.0 GPA or a C average. Last semester I barely got there, even with tutors.

The thought of losing that scholarship, of having to go back home a total failure, suddenly loomed larger than any opponent I faced on the ice.

When I looked up at Dane again, he was already undressed, a white towel around his hips.

"Jackson and I are going to head in town for a bite. Come with?" Dane asked.

Jackson was Dane's new roommate, but his old friend. One that Dane knew from his high school days in Arkansas. Dane had been acting kinda strange the past week, but I figured he was still getting used to living with his former classmate. Jackson was also an athlete, but with the rowing crew. I liked him the moment I met him. He was quieter than Dane, but funny and kind. He'd even helped me and Dane organize the welcome week games and brought his crew to our practice today to watch us play.

I was about to reply to Dane's dinner suggestion when my phone buzzed again.

"Hold on."

Reluctantly, I tapped my phone, and sure enough, there was a message from my advisor. We had a meeting scheduled tomorrow at ten. I confirmed that I'd be there, my stomach now in a painful knot. I was always freaking hungry after practice, but suddenly food didn't seem like a great idea.

"Sorry, you said you're going into town?" I asked.

Dane nodded, reached for his water bottle, and took a long gulp.

"I'm happy to come with," I replied. "If you don't mind a third wheel."

My friend spewed his mouthful of water all over the bench, nearly dousing me.

"Bud, I know I need a shower, but I'd rather wait for one without your germs," I teased.

Dane wiped his mouth, grabbed a spare towel, and wiped down the bench. "Fuck, sorry about that."

"What's with you?" I asked. "You've been jumpy all week. And, let's be real, I'm usually the one who does clumsy shit like that."

It was true. The only time I was coordinated was on the ice. Off it, well, let's just say that my dorkiness was well known. It was the same when it came to everything, including sex. Not that I'd had any yet. Not that I'd tell anyone. Yup, still a virgin at soon-to-be twenty years old. Fuck me. Or, in my case, not .

Sure, I'd made out with a few girls at parties, but nothing more than that. It was fun, but I didn't feel anything more than mild interest. Maybe because I was always the last option. My female classmates preferred the slick, smart guys who had big plans. I was the friendly guy, the one who knew everyone, but no one really knew. The shoulder to cry on when they got dumped. The placeholder.

"I'm fine, I've just got lot on my mind. And you're not a third wheel. Jace is coming too, but he's gonna meet us there later," Dane muttered as he finished dressing. "See you out front?"

I nodded and grabbed my phone again. I added a reminder about my appointment tomorrow. If I didn't, I'd forget for sure. And speaking of which, one of my notifications pinged. I reached into my backpack and searched for my meds. I'd been diagnosed with ADHD in high school. Meds helped to an extent, especially with my concentration when it came to tasks. But it wasn't a cure-all.

Once I downed the pills with electrolyte water, I shoved my hockey gear in the stall, grabbed my shampoo and body wash, and headed for the showers.

I didn't see any sign of Maddox around, and I was thankful for that. Thinking back to his reaction, a strange uneasiness took hold. Then I remembered he was bitchy like that with everyone on the team, including Coach. I had no reason to feel weird because it wasn't just me.

Ten minutes later, I headed out of the sports facility and looked for Dane and Jackson.

They were standing at the bottom of the stairs in some kind of intense conversation. But it was the way Dane leaned into Jackson that made me curious. Were they more than friends? Dane was cagey about his personal life, never talking about who he hooked up with. Assuming he did. Then again, he probably thought the same of me. Or maybe I was seeing things that weren't there thanks to my horny, frustrated brain.

I made it almost all the way down the stairs, but clearly, I was walking too fast (or I was lost in my head), and I tripped on the last one, crashing into my friends.

"Shit!" I blurted out.

"Oof," Jackson groaned as he pitched forward.

Luckily, Dane grabbed hold of Jackson and stopped his fall. Which was a miracle, given my size.

"Fuck, I'm so sorry," I explained when I finally caught my balance.

"No worries, Kay." Jackson smiled at me. "Dane caught me in those massive hockey hands of his. I've got no complaints."

Now, I wasn't the brightest guy around, but I knew flirting when I heard it.

"Really?" I looked at Dane with one eyebrow raised.

Was his face red from practice or something else?

"Dinner. Then we'll talk," Dane grumbled and started off without us.

"Ignore him," Jackson replied and patted my shoulder. "He's just hangry."

We soon caught up to our friend, but as we were walking, someone shouted our names. I turned to find Jace jogging up to us. He looked like your typical student, in jeans, a denim jacket, and a baseball cap turned backwards. Jace was an amazing forward and vying for the coveted center spot this year. I had no doubt he'd earn it.

"I thought you were meeting us later?" Dane commented.

"The call I had scheduled got pushed back to tomorrow," Jace explained with a smile, then nodded at me. "Everyone in one piece?"

I stared back at him, confused.

"I saw you take that tumble down the stairs, Kay. Poor Jackson was nearly crushed."

I rolled my eyes and gave him my best finger. Smart ass.

"Thank fuck Dane was there for Jackson to land on," Jace continued, his cocky smirk in full effect. "Right Dane? Was it good for you?"

Dane grunted and ignored Jace's comment. And his shit-eating grin.

Crossing the south lawn, we headed through the gates and into the town proper. The campus was crawling with students and the electricity of first-week nerves was in the air. I loved being here in Vermont. It reminded me of my hometown of Wells. Lots of friendly people, quiet streets, and plenty of outdoor activities. But I had to admit that while Lake Kinnear, the one that bordered campus, was beautiful, it wasn't the same as the ocean in Maine. I missed the briny air and the sand in between my toes. No matter what, the beach was home to me. But this place had its charm. There were green mountains—now turning to fall colors—cool shops, and plenty of places to eat. For any athlete, the last one mattered most.

"What do you guys feel like eating tonight?" Dane asked as we hit Main Street.

"How about Fried Up?" Jace replied. "With the picnic tables?"

My stomach rumbled loudly at the idea of fried chicken and mac ‘n' cheese. Fuck, any food at this point would be welcome. And the place had heat lamps on its patio for the fall weather.

"Hey, is that Maddox standing over there?" Jackson asked.

I turned my head so quickly that my neck popped. Sure enough, standing in the darkened alleyway beside the pharmacy, was Maddox. He was leaning against the brick wall, smoking, and staring up at the sky like he was mesmerized.

Suddenly, he turned his head and spotted us. I got the same look he'd given me earlier. I wasn't cold, but I sure as fuck was shivering.