CHAPTER TEN

E van

Vinnie and I are in a tent. It’s not strange at all. Stella is tucked to my right, and Vinnie is to my left.

Nope, not weird.

Okay, it’s totally weird.

Stella has decided she needs a story, and Vinnie has volunteered to tell one, because my head hurts and I can’t think properly. My eyes flutter down as Vinnie’s deep timbre fills the tent.

The tent is big—everything I buy is big, but I’m still aware of Vinnie beside me. Finally, Vinnie ends the story.

I applaud, and Stella cheers beside me.

Even though the room is dark, I’m sure I sense him blushing.

“Okay, time to go to bed now,” I say. “Goodnight, Vinnie. Goodnight, Stella.”

“Goodnight, Daddy. Goodnight, Vinnie.”

“Goodnight,” Vinnie says.

There’s a moment of silence, followed by rustling from Stella. Then Stella sighs. “I prefer my own bed.”

“You do?”

“Yeah. It’s softer.”

I’m silent. “Well, the mattress company probably is glad you think it’s better.”

More rustling sounds, then Stella slides away. “I’m going to my room.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Sleep well, Daddy.” Then she zips open the tent and scurries out. Her feet patter over the hardwood floors, then I hear her move over the steps.

Vinnie and I are alone.

“She, um, left.”

“So it seems,” Vinnie says.

“I guess we could go back upstairs, too.”

“Yeah.”

He doesn’t move though, and I don’t want to either.

My heart thumps, and I turn over, facing him. I feel him shift, then he moves over to his side. His form, obscured in the darkness, is across me.

“Remember when we shared a room as rookies?” he says.

“Yeah,” I say softly.

“It was fun.” I hear him smiling. Memories of us in the past bring him joy.

“What happened?”

I sense him stiffen across from me. He pulls away, and I instinctively grab his wrist.

“Evan?” He uses my first name, surprise evident in his voice, and my heart thuds. How often does he use my name in his mind?

His pulse jumps beneath my hand, skittering at a quick rate.

Well, he’s not alone.

I should let go.

But somehow, I find myself marveling at the warmth of his wrist. It’s larger than that of anyone else I’ve ever been with, but of course, that makes sense, because Vinnie is a man, of the pro athlete variety... And then I chide myself, because Vinnie and I are of course not together.

I shouldn’t be thinking of that.

“Evan?” Vinnie’s voice roughens.

I’m still clutching his wrist and I drop it. “Sorry. I—”

“I’m sorry I haven’t been around more,” Vinnie says.

“I missed you.”

Silence fills the air, then I hear Vinnie swallow. “I missed you too.”

“Then why...” My chest clenches. “Did I do anything? Because if I don’t know, I might do it again, and—”

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Vinnie says. “Nothing at all.”

His words are fierce, like a warrior’s vow, the sort he was pretending to be just hours ago with my kid.

“But—”

“It really is just me,” he says.

I try to understand. “You’re busy.”

“Well,” he says. “I am. But so are you.”

Silence fills the tent. The air is thick and uncomfortable, and my breath quickens.

“Do you really want to know? Even if it might change things?” Vinnie’s voice is soft. “Because I don’t like feeling like I’m lying to you, but...”

“Of course, I want to know.”

He inhales. For a moment, I think he’s going to make another excuse. Instead, he says, “I like you.”

“I like you too,” I say at once.

“But I really like you.”

I blink.

“An inappropriate amount.” His voice shakes, and suddenly I know.

“That’s why you’ve been hiding away?”

“What else was I supposed to do?”

“Not be a dick?”

He inhales. “I-I can’t help it. I swear, I tried.”

“No, you idiot.” I shove his chest, wondering at the heat of his broad muscles. “People get crushes all the time. I’m pretty sure that Julia in Marketing has a crush on me. But that’s fine. She doesn’t hide away. She doesn’t leave the room when I enter. You shouldn’t have left me.”

“I’m sorry.” His voice is husky.

Something about the way his voice trembles hits me. He’s being serious.

“It’s okay,” I say quietly.

I reach for him tentatively, conscious of the way he trembles, conscious of the way I’m trembling. I pull him into my arms, just like I do with Stella when she’s upset.

But this isn’t my daughter.

This is my best friend.

Something relaxes within me. “Thank you for telling me.”

“It’s embarrassing.”

“You think I’m embarrassing?” I tease.

“No, I think you’re—”

I kiss him.