20. Chapter 20

20

I 'm supposed to hate it. I tell my brain I hate what he's doing to me. I even tell my heart that Ryker is not a good person. He's not. He's rude, he violated me within the first two seconds of meeting him. He choked me, and now he's sitting on my back with two or more fingers in my ass.

And I like it.

I more than like it.

Even if I'm struggling to breathe, struggling to accept the fact that I'm willing to let another man have their hands on me, in me.

Even though I fight against his hold, I'm not sure if I'm fighting him or myself. So, with my arms stretched out, I claw at the mattress. My legs kick out, my hips bucking against his hold. I ignore the fact that while I do this, his finger sinks further into me. My ass is completely exposed. I know he can see the whip scars along both ass cheeks.

"I knew you would like your ass being played with." Ryker chuckles low in his throat.

I shake my head. I don't. I refuse to even admit in my head that I might enjoy it.

"Will you let me mark you too?"

This isn't the first time Ryker's wanted to damage my body as well. I just can't figure out if he wants to or is just taunting me.

Something sharp presses against my left ass cheek. My muscles tense up, legs fall flat on the bed. I know what he has in his hand, and if he thinks he's going to—

The air gets trapped in my lungs when I feel the blunt object of the handle pushing against my asshole. My eyes water, the sting of him pushing against me without any lube shoots from my ass down to my toes.

"Does Jacey know that you like having knives in your ass?" he taunts.

I have two options: Let him fuck me with the knife or to try and fight him off. Either way, I could get cut, just less, hopefully, if I let him do what he wants.

Shoving my face further into the covers, I refuse to let him see me cry. Especially not when suddenly something whips across the bottom of my ass. I clench my body, my hands ripping the side of the bedding down. The handle moves in my ass, stopping just for the whip to hit me again. The push and pull. He never soothes the burn on my skin. He hits me and then fucks my ass with the knife.

I relish in the feeling, in every second.

I hate that I like this, and I hate that I'm letting him do this to my body. I vowed to myself that I never would let a man do this, fuck me, let me cry.

So, when he thrusts the knife into my ass, the snap of his belt moments before it hits my flesh, I ignite like a firecracker. My orgasm rips through my body so fast I clamp my teeth down on my bottom lip to stop myself from giving in to what Ryker wants.

"Damn, pet, I didn't think you'd cum that fast."

My head rolls to the side, gazing up at him from the corner of my eye. I find him already staring at me, a flicker of uncertainty behind the mask. I'm not sure if he's even aware that he's doing it. Either way, I give him the slightest nod.

"Give me another one," he orders. The one-second moment we had gone and passed, I don't get a warning before he removes the knife from my body. "Get on all fours. "

Frowning, I peek over my shoulder, confused about what he has planned. I shouldn't willingly get into the position he wants. But I do what he wants anyway, pushing myself up onto my hands and knees.

"Keep your eyes forward," he snaps. Turning my head towards the headboard, my eyes widen trying to see into the dark. All my other senses are in high alert, the small breeze from the fan above causing my skin to break out in goosebumps. I hear him moving around behind me, and the nerves nearly take over my body. I could bend my head down, at least enough to see him and what he was doing.

"You think I can get you to scream Daddy?" he asks. Suddenly I feel his hot breath along my inner thigh. My pants are still around my knees, feeling more exposed than I felt like I have ever been. That was until he lifts my shirt, pulling it up over my head. I shake my head, dropping to my elbows. I attempt to look back, but Ryker fists the back of my head, shoving my face down. I jerk as the belt comes down on my ass.

"I told you to keep your eyes forward," he growls, his voice a little clearer. The belt connects with my ass again, and my eyes squeeze shut. "Are you going to be a good slut and listen?"

I nod, forcing him to pull my hair.

"Good pet. Now let's see how you taste," he mumbles, letting go of my hair. It doesn't connect with my brain what he says until I feel him spreading my ass cheeks further apart. Humiliation hits me, my face turning red. It takes everything in me not to turn around and run for Jace's room. I don't even want to think of him right now.

Thankfully, every thought in my body flies out the window the moment I feel Ryker's tongue probe my ass. Jace had been the only other person to eat me out, I'm not entirely sure how to react. Jace and Ryker are polar opposites. Some guys want girls to moan, but I can't do that. Some want the girls to just be quiet, but I want Ryker to know I enjoy it. I want more.

I need more.

"I wonder if there's anything you wouldn't let me do?" Ryker hums against my skin. I can't think clearly, not with me being out and open like this. With Jace it was relaxing, my body felt like it was floating, but with Ryker… That's a different story. He's demanding, messy, and wants to humiliate me.

"I asked you a fucking question." His palm smacks against my cheeks.

I nod my head and when his tongue dips into my ass I drop to my elbows, making sure to bury my face. A feral groan leaves his mouth just as the belt hits my back. Tears soak the pillow my face is lying on, and my back arches from the pain.

His tongue runs over my ass, licking and sucking. I never once thought I would let someone that close to my ass before. Yet the moment Ryker touched me, I couldn't make him stop even if I wanted to.

I'm addicted to the pain he gives me. I want him to mark my back. I want to look in the mirror and be reminded of the scars that he caused. Not the ones Henry and his friends did to me.

"Look at you, fucking my tongue like you can't get enough of it," he says. Making me realize that I'm moving my ass back, wanting more. "I want you to cum and then go back to bed with Jace. I want him to know that I made you cum," Ryker says, giving me no warning before the handle of the knife is pushed into my pussy, his tongue slipping into my ass again. My stomach clenches, the pressure building in no time. Then his belt hits the same spot he's been hitting every time, causing me to go off. My vision blurs, my orgasm ripping me apart. I can't breathe. I gasp for air, trying to fill my lungs. I'm dying. Black spots fill my vision, pulling me under.

I bolt up from the couch to the sound of the door opening. Blinking my eyes, I try to adjust to the darkness, taking a moment before I see Ryker. Then Blake…in his arms.

"What the fuck did you do?" I growl, taking a wide step towards him.

"Lower your voice," he hisses.

It's then I notice he's not wearing his mask. "Ryker?"

"She didn't see it, don't worry. She's going to need some aftercare." Ryker shuffles closer, trying to hand Blake off to me.

"No."

"No?" Ryker parrots back.

"You heard me, I said no." I don't exactly have a reason to say no to him. I've been pacing around, wracking my brain trying to come up with a way I can convince Blake to not be mad at me anymore. I don't know how I missed her walking across the living room to Ryker's room. But I did and now I'm supposed to just give her some aftercare?

"Jace." Ryker's eyes narrow, his scar pulling at his lip.

"Tell me what you did." I act as if I'm not going to care for her, but there's nothing in this world that would stop me from caring for Blake. Even if that means sharing her with Ryker.

"She's probably going to be sore for the next few days." Why must he be so vague?

"Did you fuck her?"

Ryker's jaw tenses, but I already know that answer. He doesn't need to tell me to know he hadn't. Ryker likes to claim he's a monster. He wants to be the bad guy, he wants it so much, but he'll never be one.

"Are you ever going to just be nice to her?" We've been here a few days and since day one he's been nothing but forceful and violent.

Just like I knew he wasn't going to answer me about this either because I knew the answer. Ryker can no longer hold eye contact, and I swear if he clenches his jaw any harder he'll break a tooth .

"Fine," I mutter. Ryker holds her longer than he would if it were just a hook-up. He might not want to admit it, but he's grown attached. He cares for Blake.

Ryker finally hands me Blake, his eyes never leaving her. I can feel them the entire time it takes me to get across the living room to mine. Kicking the door closed, I make my way to my bed, placing Blake on top. Her leggings and sweatshirt are in place, but Ryker said her back and ass were going to be sore. Heading to the door, I start making a list of things I needed to grab, only to stop when I open the door. Bending down I grab the basket and close the door behind me. Emptying the basket, my eyes scan the belongings Ryker got. Ibuprofen, a bottle of water, some ointment, and a damn cinnamon roll.

Blake begins to stir pulling my attention back to her. Reaching to the bedside table, I flick the lamp on before I twist the cap off, emptying two ibuprofen into my hand.

"Hey, Sunshine," I whisper. Blake's eyes snap open, glancing around before finally settling on me. "Here, take these," I say, handing her the ibuprofen. Blake peers up at my hand, shaking her head. "It's just ibuprofen, it'll help."

Blake briefly looks at me before slowly taking the pills. Sitting up, she frowns but doesn't make a peep at her discomfort. Taking the water from my hand, she downs half the bottle.

"Good girl," I mumble. Her eyes snap to mine, pupils dilated, and her tongue darts out. "Please don't give me that look. From what Ryker said, you need to rest," I beg.

Blake rolls her eyes, trying to get up, only to drop back down on the bed.

"What hurts?" I ask, glancing over the supplies Ryker put inside the basket. I hate not knowing what to say to Blake. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells, unsure what is going to make her snap. She's mad at me for letting Ryker choke her, but she's not mad at him for doing it.

Blake gives me that are you fucking stupid look.

"Can I take a look?" I ask, hating the timidness in my voice. Much to my surprise she nods her head, rolling onto her stomach .

Before I can overthink it, I step forward, grabbing the bottom of her sweatshirt, pulling it up until I can see the clear red and angry belt marks. Some are raised while others look as if he didn't want to hit her as hard. In an odd way, this is him showing he cares. I've seen some women after he's done with them, and these are hesitant.

"I have some ointment that should help with them," I mutter, reaching over. Blake moves around, pulling my attention to her. It takes me a second to realize she's trying to pull her pants down. "Are there…" I don't finish as she nods her head.

Letting out a sigh, I grab the waistband of her leggings, pulling them down. Blake buries her face into the pillow, unsure if she's embarrassed or because it's painful. In the dim light, red welts litter her lower back and each cheek where the leggings were hiding them.

"I'm sorry," I find myself mumbling as if I were the one to do this to her. "Are you…I'm going to put some of this ointment on the welts, I suggest not wearing any pants, but uh, maybe just your underwear?"

Blake nods her head. I'm not sure if she's even thinking or listening to me. I'm not even sure why Ryker thought I would be better at aftercare than he is. He's had more practice growing up than I ever did.

Shaking my head, I tend to her wounds, before pulling her underwear back up. Blake crawls up the bed to her side, pulling the covers up to her chin. Sighing in relief, I clean the bed off, switch the lamp off, and I crawl in beside her.

"Are you okay?" I whisper into the dark. Blake shrugs, wincing a little as her shoulders pull at her back.

"Can you tell me why you went in there?"

Once again she shrugs.

"In his own fucked up ways, he cares. He's just not the best at showing it." I find myself wanting to defend Ryker. "You know I care, right?" I whisper so low I'm afraid she won't hear me. It's not until she signs, promise, and then holds her pinkie out. Smiling into the dark, I sign promise back, hooking our fingers together.

"Promise," I mumble.

Her eyes begin to drift closed, and I finally start to relax. Even if she's mad at me, she's in my bed, and I find that even if Ryker and her have a physical relationship, she still has me. She trusts me, and that's not something I take lightly.

My eyes snap back open when I feel her tapping my shoulder. "Hmm?" I hum.

She waves her finger, motioning for me to do something.

"You want me to turn around?" I ask.

Blake nods her head, closing her eyes again. Smiling, I pull the covers down, slipping underneath them. Facing away, it takes Blake a minute before I feel her pressing her front against my back. Her arms slip around my waist, her hand pressed against my chest. Sliding my hand over hers, she buries her face in my back.

Neither of them might want to admit it, but in their own way, they're more alike. While Ryker took his trauma and past, turning him into a masked killer, Blake hates herself, and buries her rage until a single moment makes her snap.

It was only a matter of time until Blake finally broke through, and I wasn't sure if any of us would be prepared for that.