Chapter Three

Three

Shawn

I shouldn’t have said that. It’ll mostly only irritate Lucas further. But the thing is…it’s not a lie. At some point on the drive here, I realized I wanted him again. I mean, I knew it since the day I left that I would always want him, but seeing him so close, feeling the heat of his body, I can’t resist.

He can’t either. Heat fills his eyes even as he tries to hide it by narrowing them. “Really, Shawn?”

“You’re the one who asked.”

For a second, I think he’s going to turn and leave. But then he says, “If we’re doing anything, it’s not about me showing how much I’ve missed you. It’s going to be about how you got me used to having your mouth and tight little ass around and then took it away without a word.”

Heat pools low in my belly even though I try to fight it. I don’t want to be attracted to him, but I can’t stop it. He was the one I always wanted. I never thought someone like him could ever go for a guy like me. He had that perfect life, perfect family. Popular at school. And I was just someone that no one could be bothered to keep.

And it’s those feelings that have me swallowing and saying, “Okay.”

Surprise flickers across his face before he crosses the room to wrap a hand around the back of my neck. His fingers are warm against my skin. “You sure about that?”

“Yeah.” My voice is hoarse as I try to hide the longing in it.

He doesn’t hesitate to pull me close and press his lips to mine. Hunger unfurls in my chest, and I grab his waist, pressing myself to him. A hundred memories flash through my mind—summer nights I spent with Lucas, our skin slick with sweat. Somehow, this moment is even better than I remember it.

Lucas is so sure now. So confident. His hand that’s not on the back of my neck slides down to grab my cock through my jeans, and then his mouth opens against mine. His tongue pushes its way inside, playing with mine in time with the strokes he’s giving my dick.

I moan, but Lucas swallows it, kissing me deeper. His fingers are sure as he works my cock in tandem, and just as I’m about to come in my pants like a fucking teenager, he stops.

I whimper from the loss of contact, and Lucas smirks as he pulls away from me.

“Get out of those clothes,” he orders. “On the bed.”

Even though I know I shouldn’t, I obey almost instantly. It just feels so good to be with him again. I’ve been with guys since I left Charleston years ago, but none of them were like Lucas.

He tugs his own clothes off, and I don’t shy away from looking at him. He’s even better than I remember. All muscle and angles and a cock that’s just begging to have my lips wrapped around it.

Before I can stop myself, my hand drifts toward my own. So hard, it’s almost painful.

Lucas catches my hand before I can actually touch myself. His grip on my wrist is tight. Punishing.

“No.” Even though he says it softly, there’s enough force behind it for me to relent immediately.

“You left and made me almost insane thinking about you. Do you have any idea how many times I had to jerk off when I thought of you? And now you have the nerve to touch yourself in front of me like I haven’t been waiting years to be inside you again? No, it doesn’t work that way.”

He leaves me long enough to grab his belt from the floor, and then he’s knotting it around my wrists, securing them to the headboard. And I wish it didn’t feel so fucking good when he does these things to me.

“You got any lube?” he asks.

“Bag near the side table,” I mumble.

He stands to grab it, and I can’t help admiring as he bends over. He always had such an amazing ass.

Lucas settles between my legs, nudging them apart with his own. He runs his hands along my knees, up to my thighs, then finally to my cock, which is hard and already leaking.

“Hmm.” He hums appreciatively. “Somebody missed me.”

He traces my slit with one finger before brushing his knuckles across my balls, drawing a hiss from my throat.

“Shh.” He leans down and presses a kiss to the inside of my thigh. “Be good for me, okay?”

I nod wordlessly. I’m pretty sure I’m not going to be able to speak through this. The longing I’ve felt for him that I’ve kept so bottled up is spilling over. I want nothing other than for Lucas to be inside me again.

He pops the lid off the bottle of lube and spreads it generously over his fingers before sliding two into me.

I can’t stop my back from arching off the bed as heat explodes all over my body. It feels so good to have him touching me again.

“Hey, none of that.” Lucas uses his other hand to grip my balls just tight enough to hurt a little. “You’re not coming until I say so.”

A whine slips out of me even as I try to choke it off. “I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I’m sorry I left you without a goodbye.”

“Are you? Or are you just saying that because you’re tied up and at my mercy?” He pulls his fingers out only to slam them back in again, ushering a third finger in this time.

“I am.” The words come out through gritted teeth as sweat beads on my skin. That delicious burn is spreading over my body, and I want Lucas inside of me. “Please, I’m sorry. I swear I am.”

“Am I supposed to trust you?” He pulls his fingers out only to thrust them back in again, and I’m starting to think that not even his grip on my balls is going to stop me from coming.

My heels dig into the mattress as my body pushes upward, seeking friction.

“Have you done anything to deserve my trust?” he presses. “Because I don’t think you have.”

“I haven’t,” I whimper. “But I need you.”

Just as suddenly as they entered, Lucas’s fingers disappear, and I cry out at the loss, the feeling of emptiness.

“I can’t be slow or gentle,” he says, crinkling a condom wrapper as he opens it.

“I’m not asking you to be.”

It’s all the go ahead he needs. Lucas grips my hips tight enough to bruise and shoves into me.

“Fuck!” I can’t help yelling as his cock spreads me. He gives me just a second to adjust, then he’s pushing the rest of the way in, fighting against the resistance my muscles are putting up.

“Come on,” Lucas breathes. “I know you can take me, Shawn.”

I arch my back and spread my legs a little more. I can take it; I have before. Just with quite a bit more stretching.

He starts to pull out, so I clench, keeping him inside me. “You promised you wouldn’t be gentle.”

A growl rumbles low in his throat, and he pushes back in so quickly that I would’ve scooted across the bed had he not been gripping my hips.

“That’s it,” I moan. “Fuck me for all the times you wanted it and I wasn’t here to give it to you.”

It’s the magic command. His fingers sink into my skin, and he sets up a punishing pace that’s almost painful. Fuck that, it is painful. But it feels so fucking good. It feels right. I can’t believe how much I’ve missed him.

“God, you feel good,” Lucas says before lowering his head to kiss the side of my neck. “You’re still so fucking tight.”

I try to reply, to say something back, tell him how good he feels too. But no words touch my tongue. I’m too lost in the feel of him. I’d never forgotten how amazing it felt when we were together, but I tried my hardest not to think about it over the years. Missing him was like a constant physical ache. If I was going to survive, I needed to forget about Lucas.

But now here he is, giving me exactly what I need, just like he used to do. It’s like no time has passed at all. As if I could close my eyes and when I opened them again, we’d be back in Lucas’s bedroom, our skin sticky from the summer heat.

That same hunger burns between us, but now it’s mixed with the longing that only comes from pent-up frustration. Every time Lucas slams into me, I lift my hips, meeting his thrusts. I want to feel every inch of him. Remember what it was like to feel completely safe.

When that familiar heat pools in my belly, I try to hold it back. I don’t want this moment to end. I want to stay here, wrapped up with Lucas, forever.

But nothing lasts forever.

Lucas comes with a moan, his hips stuttering as he empties into me. I dig my fingers into his back, urging him closer. He only allows it enough for him to still get a hand between us, which he wraps around my weeping cock.

I bite back a whimper at the pressure, but I can’t stop my body from bucking up, sliding myself deeper against his palm. He has no right to feel this good, to make me feel this good. And I know I should stop this because it can’t possibly amount to anything, and I’m not sure I could survive losing Lucas again.

But then he leans closer, slanting his mouth over mine in a searing kiss that I feel all the way into my soul. And as I shatter against him, I realize it doesn’t matter how many miles I put between us; I’ll never be able to outrun what I feel for Lucas.