Chapter 13

She handed him a glass of scotch before sitting across from him. Pulling the silk nightgown closer, Cordelia waited for him to say something.

"I apologize," he said quietly.

"Accepted. If I were an insecure woman, I would be gnashing my teeth in fury right now."

"You are the most confident woman I know." He gave her a faint, absent smile.

"I am." She eyed him for a few seconds before sipping her scotch. "You were not even able to return my kiss. I know for a fact that you are not impotent and that you were an excellent lover."

"I think I still am."

"I see. Darling, I don't mean to be inquisitive, but I deserve an explanation. We came here with the intention of-"

"I know." Tossing back the drink, he stretched his feet out and restlessly rolled the glass between his palms. "It's not you."

Cordelia smiled faintly. "And I know you well enough, or think I do, to realize that is not a cliche."

"No, it's not."

"There is someone."

"Yes." he bit out.

"I will take a shot and say it's someone special."

"She is -" He shook his head as he searched for the word. "I don"t know what the hell she is, but she is in my head and under my skin."

"And you are not with her because…?"

"She wants more than I am prepared to offer."

"Marriage."

"Yes. And a family."

"How selfish of her." Her mild tone had him looking at her sharply, a reluctant smile touching his lips.

"She gave me an ultimatum."

Cordelia laughed at that. "I admire her bravery."

"She is a pain in the ass."

"May I say something?"

"Feel free." He invited dryly.

"It seems that this woman is more than under your skin."

"What do you mean?"

"Darling, you are in love with her."

He did not deny it, could not. "I can't be in love with her. I have too much to lose."

"You are afraid after what happened before."

"I am cautious for good reason." He corrected grimly.

"Do you think she is after your money?"

He lifted his shoulders in a shrug. "I was wrong before."

"What about now?" Cordelia persisted.

"I don't know."

"Darling, I think you do. What is your instinct telling you?"

Putting the glass down, he lunged and paced the peach and blue bedroom. He was angry that she had so much power over him. He had come with Cordelia to try and get her out of his head and had been unable to perform.

Not so much as a kiss. Indie stood before them as if she were standing in the room. The very thought of touching the beautiful actress had turned his stomach.

"I don't trust my instinct regarding relationships." He finally responded.

"I think you do. My advice? Go to her. You won"t be able to be with anyone else."

"Damn her!" He whispered. "I swore years ago that I would never give anyone that much power over me and-" He broke off and dragged his fingers through his hair.

"Do you know how she feels about you?" Cordelia asked softly, watching in fascination as he struggled.

"She claims she is in love with me."

"And you don't believe her."

"She sounds sincere. But so did Madison's mother."

"You were much younger than, and with years, we should gain experience. Surely you have some idea if she is telling the truth or not?"

"I suppose."

"Go to her, darling, and just talk."

He smiled grimly at that. "Whenever I am near her, the last thing I want is to talk."

"Ah," Cordelia smiled slightly. "And as a woman who has been rejected, that is the last thing I want to hear." Rising gracefully, she approached him. "I think we should call it a night."

Touching his face gently, she went on her toes and brushed her lips against his. "Go get your woman."

*****

Indie rubbed her stomach absently and drew her legs up. This nausea had been awful. Leaning her head back against the tiles, she closed her eyes wearily.

She had told herself that whatever happened or how bad it got, she would not complain. She had prayed for this, had been praying for it for a long time, and she was going to take the good with the bad.

Josh had called to check on her but refrained from asking about her decision. She was going to have to tell Royce. He had a right to know that she was carrying his baby. And right now, she was aching for him. She longed to feel him rubbing her stomach and offering her a teapot. She was longing to feel his arms wrapped around her.

Taking several bracing breaths, she struggled and rinsed her mouth out. Michael had come over earlier, and she had told him, leaving out the part about who the father was. He had handled it very well.

"I suppose I had expected too much," he told her. "I am here for you, and whoever he is, the guy is a damned idiot. He should be here with you now."

"I agree with you. But it is what it is."

"If you need anything, don't hesitate to call me."

But she needed one person, and he had not called her. She had seen Madison yesterday, and the little girl was so concerned about her illness that she gave her a handmade card. Indie felt the tears welling in her eyes and had to turn away. The tears were starting again, and she went into the kitchen with an angry sniff to make some tea.

*****

Indie felt the weariness coating her body like a cloak. Today had been particularly rough. A shipment that had been delayed for a week had arrived with several damaged items. The shop had been overrun with tourists, and a child had spilled chocolate milk in one of the aisles, causing someone to slip.

In addition, she had spent half the day in her office feeling dizzy and nauseous. She just wanted to go home and go to bed. She was hungry, but she did not have an appetite. Even so, she would have to force herself to eat something.

She was almost upon the car before she noticed the door opening and the familiar sight of the man alighting. The shock stopped her as she stared at the achingly familiar sight.

It was not her fevered brain conjuring him up—he was real. Forcing herself to move forward, she walked towards him slowly.

"Get in," he said coldly without any form of greeting.

His tone had her lifting her chin, dark brown eyes flashing. "Good night to you, too. I don't have time for this. I-"

"You don't want to test me right now," he warned tersely. "Get in the damn car."

She thought about simply ignoring him, but the murderous expression on his face told her that would not be a good idea.

"Fine." She was barely inside the vehicle before he slammed the door shut and went around to the driver's side.

"My car-"

"I will bring you here in the morning to collect it."

"Tomorrow is Sunday. The store is not open-"

She lapsed into silence, acutely aware of the anger pumping from him. She should be the one having this type of murderous attitude, she thought angrily. She was the one who was pregnant and going through hell.

But this was what you wanted all along, the voice reminded her.

She was jolted out of her reverie when he pressed down on his horn to move the driver, who was making his way slowly when the lights turned green. Swearing profusely, he jerked the wheel and zipped past the vehicle.

Stealing at the profile of his handsome face, Indie longed to ease away the troubles creasing on his forehead.

He was angry with her for some reason, and she wondered why. The point was that he was here. Was he here to be with her in every way? And if he was not, what would she do about it? Could she find the strength to turn him away again?

Biting a sigh, she leaned back and closed her eyes. She was already emotionally battered and did not think she could take anything else.

The silence was unbearable, but she did not try to break it. Pulling into the driveway, he switched the engine off.

She was reaching for the handle when he opened the door. Stepping back, he waited until she had exited the vehicle before slamming it shut. Taking a deep breath, she walked toward the front porch and keyed in the code to disengage the alarm to open the door.

"Would you like something to drink?" She asked politely as they headed into the living room.

"No." Walking over to the mantle, he leaned against it, shoved his hands into his pockets, and stared at her. His expression was hooded and unreadable, making her very nervous and jumpy.

"How have you been?" She was unsure she should sit because he would be towering over her, so she stood next to the rocker, her hands folded in the large pockets of her jumper.

His brows lifted sardonically. "I have been better. You?"

"Tired. I had a rough day at work. A shipment-"

"Are we doing this?"

"Doing what?"

"Having a regular conversation. What's next? Are we going to start discussing the weather?"

"It"s supposed to rain tomorrow." Her voice petered off at the harsh expression on his face. "I am tired, Royce, I am. You are angry about something, and I wish you would come right out and say it."

"Why do you think I am here?"

"I am hoping that-" She took a deep breath. "I am hoping that we - that you -"

"Would come to heel?"

"No!" She clenched her hands into fists. "I just want us to -" She closed her eyes briefly. "I am offering you-"

"Happiness," She whispered achingly, the longing to touch him plain on her face. "To put a smile on your face." She had left her position without even being aware of it and was standing in front of him, expression unbearably tender. "I love you so much-"

"Stop it." His hands came up to close around her neck. "Damn you, just stop."

"I can't. Oh, Royce, I felt I was dying when you did not call. I missed you so much."

His expression was fierce, and his hands were shaking. He inhaled her scent, his eyes wandering over the roundness of her face and the shape of her lips.

He had spent the evening with a wonderful woman and could not even touch her. But here with Indie, he wanted to crawl all over her. He was already hard and could feel the emotions surging through his body.

"I was with someone last night." He had no idea why he would mention that, giving her the impression that he had spent the night with someone.

"Were you?" She whispered, moving her hands over his chest and shoulders. "Are you trying to make me jealous?"

"Is it working?"

"Yes. You can hurt me unbearably."

With a tortured groan, he bent his head and brushed his lips against hers. She melted into him, her hands wandering up to his neck and toying with the fringes of hair at the nape. He deepened the kiss, gentling it as her lips parted.

The desire was raging inside him. He had spent almost a week away from her and was starving but wanted to take his time.

Ending the kiss, he took several deep breaths to steady himself and spoke. "Upstairs," he rasped. He jolted a little when she took his hand and led the way out of the room and up the stairs.

Letting go of his hand, she started to take off her clothes. He stood there watching as she toed off the sandals she had worn and unbuttoned the two large buttons at her shoulders.

She had on some sort of one-piece green sheer blouse that revealed her nude bra and panties. Pulling the zipper at the side, she opened the blouse and tugged it off.

He could feel the lust pouring through every fiber of his being. His mouth was dry, his body sweating from the impossible heat.

She took her time getting rid of the bra. His eyes zeroed in on the wide nipples, and he felt the saliva pooling inside his mouth.

He quickly removed his clothes and joined her on the bed. Leaning on his side, he cupped her face, his eyes boring into hers as he trailed his fingers down her cheek.

"Can you tell me why you are here?" She asked huskily.

"I don't want to talk," he told her gruffly.

"Royce-"

"No." Twisting her face toward his, he captured her mouth in a rough, tender kiss that had her clinging to him. By the time he released her mouth, she was trembling, fingers digging into his shoulders. Her body arched toward his as his mouth nibbled at her throat before heading down to her breasts.

"Royce." Her voice was whisper-thin, fingers clutching at his hair as he blew on the rigid nipple. It was super sensitive, and she had been doing her research and realized that it was one of the side effects of the pregnancy.

The minute he tugged the nipple into his mouth, she was flying as high as a kite. His body jerked when she screamed, her blunt nails digging into his hair. Her moans echoed around the room as her body writhed beneath his.

His body was prime, and he realized hazily that he would not last. It had to be now. Her reaction was more passionate than usual, making it impossible for him to prolong the moment.

Letting go of the nipple, he shifted so that he was on top of her. Guiding himself into her, he gritted his teeth as her familiarity wrapped around him like a glove.

"Oh, Christ!" He whispered thickly, his body shuddering. "I have missed you so damn much." His lips took hers in a kiss that drugged her senses.

This was what she had been yearning for. This man was the only one who could make her lose control like this. She belonged to him entirely and would do her best to make him realize it. Her arms came around his neck as she drew her into him.

As soon as he started to move, she came, her body bucking against his as he swallowed her cries deep inside his throat.

It was not long before he was following behind her. He felt the climax rushing through his body like a tidal wave that swept him into a maelstrom that could not be controlled. His body shuddered from the force of it, and he lost all reasoning.

His body surged into her as his mind shattered. His heart was beating heavily against his ribs, and his body felt as if it was engulfed in flames. Tearing his lips from hers, he buried his face into her neck"s softness and fought to regain some of the control.

She had her hands wrapped around his body and felt the tears coursing down her cheeks.

"I am crushing you." He muttered. Resisting her effort to keep him on top of her, he broke her hold and flopped back against the pillows.

She waited as he lay there, staring at the ceiling.

"You gave me an ultimatum," he murmured without looking at her.

"I did, yes." Her fingers clutched at the sheets as she waited for him to say more.

"I told you I was with someone last night. I wanted to break your hold on me."

"I don't-"

His head whipped around, and she gasped at his fierce look. "Oh, come now, Indie. You are smart enough to realize that I am hooked. As I was saying, I was with someone last night. You might know her, Cordelia. She is an actress."

"I have seen her on TV."

He watched as she tried to hide the jealousy.

"Nothing happened. I went back to her place to have sex, and I could not get it up. I tried to kiss her, but I could not do even that. Happy?"

"Yes," she whispered, turning into him, her fingers tangling through the dense hairs on his chest. She prepared to tell him the news. "I have something to tell you."

"Yes?" He had to admit that she felt good in his arms as if she had found her place.

"I am pregnant." Her dazzling smile came, blinding him with its brilliance, and he could not process it for a few seconds.

"What?"

"We are pregnant." Her smile dimmed when he continued to stare at her, his expression inscrutable.

"I guess congratulations are in order. You got what you wanted. What should I expect next? How much money will you demand for the baby you are carrying?"

Indie felt her hope crash and die slowly, and for the first time since meeting him, she felt hate. Pushing out of his arms, she swung her legs off the bed when he caught her arm.

"I would like you to leave." She struggled to compose herself and stop the tears from falling. "And this time, don't bother coming back."

"Indie-"

"I hate you!" She cried, tears sparkling. "Nothing I do will ever be enough. You are stuck so deep in the past that you cannot see what's in front of you. You don't deserve one shred of happiness, and I am tired of trying. Let go of me."

"No." His face was white with strain, fingers digging into her flesh. He had hurt her again, and the emotion on her beautiful face felt like something was gouging into his heart. "I am sorry." He heard himself saying tensely.

"And I cannot leave." He drew in a breath. "You know I cannot. I have tried to get you out of my head, the taste of you out of my mouth, and it's impossible." Drawing her toward him, he cupped her face, a bewildered expression on his face. "I am trying."

"Not hard enough." She flashed, but the fight had left her. "I want this baby, Royce. I am not her; I will not trick you into anything. I have been putting up with your insults and cutting remarks since we met, and I cannot do it anymore. I am pregnant."

Her smile was whimsical. "It's something I have been praying for in what seems to be ages. When I met you, I knew instinctively that you were the one I wanted to father my child." Her hand lifted, and she touched his brow gently. "You haven't asked me how I am doing?"

"How are you?"

"The morning sickness has been going on for most of the day, and today was a particularly crappy day."

"Why?"

"The store was busy, and it did not help that the sushi I had turned against me and sent me rushing to the bathroom while I was dealing with a customer."

"Should you be working?" He asked with a frown.

She laughed softly, thrilled at his tone"s note of concern. "I intend to work until I am unable to do so." She trailed a finger down his smoothly-shaven jaw. "Please tell me you are happy."