Chapter 12

"Shall I pick out a book? Or do you have one in mind?"

Madison was already tucked into bed, her dark head propped up on the pillows, the pink elephant clutched to her chest.

"I don't want a story." She said soberly.

"Oh? What do you want to do?"

"I would like to talk."

"I see." Pulling the chair closer to the bed, he sat and waited.

"I went to see Indie when I got back from Disney."

"You already told me." He reminded her, wishing she had not mentioned the name.

"Daddy, do you like her?"

For a second, he had no idea how to answer that. "I think she is okay. Why?"

"I love her."

"You just met her."

"She is so kind and beautiful." There was a wistful note in the little girl's voice. "She is always listening to me and not pretending that she is. She listens."

"That's important."

Madison nodded. "I would love her to be my mother."

Royce had to force himself to be casual. "Is that right?"

She nodded again. "She could be my Mommy, and you could have a baby with her."

"It's not that simple."

The little girl stared at him, and he felt uncomfortable that she was staring into his very soul. "You have to fall in love with her."

"And that's not going to happen."

"If you spend some time with her-"

"No." He was getting upset at the line of conversation. He was already too raw from what had happened earlier and wanted to be alone to recover. "If you don't want me to read you a story, I am going to bed. I am exhausted."

"Good night, Daddy."

Ignoring the sad look on his daughter's face, Royce escaped before she could say something else that would get under his skin.

Dragging off his clothes, he dumped them inside the hamper and stepped into the shower. Touching the button, he stepped beneath the jet sprays and closed his eyes, allowing the water to beat down on him. Slapping his palms on the tiles, he tried to get her out of his mind. She had dared to issue an ultimatum!

Who the hell does she think she is? He had told her the same rules he had laid down whenever he entered a relationship. He had made it clear that the only thing he had to offer was something physical, nothing more.

And she had to complicate things by telling him that she wanted a baby and was in love with him.

‘I would make you smile and put your needs above mine. I would give you a family and ask about your day.'

The words were drilling inside his head like a trip hammer, jolting him and making him yearn for something like that—something that did not exist. He had fallen for that before, and it had almost destroyed him.

He had believed Marilyn when she told him she was in love with him and wanted a family. She had been sweet and innocent, or so he thought. But it turned out that she only wanted his money and nothing else.

But some well-honed instinct told him that Indie was not like that. She was a straight shooter and told him what she wanted initially. But he could not take that chance.

His body was aching for her. He had taken her from behind, and the feeling, the sensations, had rocked his very foundation. It was unbelievable! Closing his eyes, he allowed himself to remember. He had never experienced anything like that before, which scared him.

What he had felt for Marilyn paled compared to what he felt when he was with Indie. Even when he was not with her, he could still feel her, taste her. Shaking his head, he turned the water off and reached for the towels. He vowed to do his best to forget her if she did not contact him.

*****

The next morning, she stayed in bed for half a day, fighting the urge to call and beg him to come over. She could still smell the expensive cologne he used on her sheets, but she had to stick to her resolve. She had issued an ultimatum, and worse, she had left herself vulnerable by telling him exactly how she felt.

And what had he done with it? He had more or less dismissed it. She had cried herself to sleep last night, and right now, her throat was raw and aching. She would pick herself up and dust herself off and get on with her life and pray and hope that he was not too pigheaded to realize that they could be happy together.

She could have had someone like Michael, someone who already liked her. It would have been so simple, but evidently, easy was not for her. She had to fall for the complicated, the unattainable. And she loved him so much that she felt like her heart was beating.

She knew she could make him happy. She knew they could be a family and hoped she was carrying his baby even now.

"Please, God," She whispered hoarsely. "That's all I am asking for. You know how much I am longing to be a mother. I don't care if he never returns -"

She shook her head. "I am lying to the Almighty," She muttered in disgust. "I want him to come back, but not because he is obligated to - I want him to realize that he cannot be without me- that's what I am asking."

Drawing a shaky breath, she swung her legs off the bed and went about to do her chores.

*****

"You look terrible," Joshua said abruptly as he sat in the chair across from her desk. "What the hell is going on with you?"

"I think I"m coming down with something." Plucking some Kleenex from the box, she vigorously blew her nose.

"You look like hell."

"I can always count on you to make me feel better." She told him, feeling the congestion in her chest.

"You should go home." He stared at her frowningly, and she wondered if she looked worse than she felt, which was impossible.

"I just have to get the paperwork finished."

"All of that can wait, as well as the quarterly report I brought for you."

"I am not that bad. Hold that thought." Pushing from the desk, she rushed into the bathroom and brought her lunch. Sitting on the floor, she felt as if she was dying. Her nose was running, her head was aching, and she felt like crap.

"Indie?" Her brother rapped on the door.

"I need a minute."

"I am taking you to the doctor."

"I think it's bronchitis, or it might be pneumonia mixed with allergies."

"I am taking you to the doctor,' he told her firmly. "And I am coming in."

Before she could respond, he pushed the door open and saw her sitting on the floor. Flushing the toilet, he hunkered in front of her, his face concerned.

"Can you get up?"

"I think so." Holding out a hand, she grasped his and shoved herself up with his help.

"How long have you been feeling this way?"

"Since Sunday."

"And today is Wednesday." He put his hand around her waist and guided her to the chair, where she sank, her knees giving out. "Why didn't you call me?"

"I thought I would be over it by now." Leaning her head back, she closed her eyes. "I don't get sick."

"Now you are. Do you think you can make it to the front door? I am taking you to the nearest doctor."

She shook her head. "I have one in mind. I just need to call her."

"Is she a GP?"

"No." She dialed the number and waited for the receptionist to transfer the call. "Hi, Dr. Meadows. Is it okay to just come in?" She listened for a second. "I am not sure. I am as sick as a dog and emptied my lunch in the toilet." She listened again. "I appreciate it. My brother is taking me."

"She has an opening."

"Let's go."

*****

"What the hell is going on?" Joshua hissed after they had sat down in the plush waiting room for her name to be called. She had deliberately not told him anything on the way here, but he had read the name on the plaque outside and realized what Dr. Meadows" specialty was.

Looking around the waiting room, she was happy it was not packed. Two women were talking in one corner of the room. In another section, another woman was on her phone. The receptionist, sitting at the oval desk, was simultaneously talking on the phone and using her desktop.

"I will tell you after I have seen the doctor." She told him firmly and was saved from saying anything more when her name was called.

"I think I should come in with you." Josh started to rise, but she shook her head.

Walking into the doctor's office, she greeted the woman with a smile.

"We will go straight to the examination room, but first, let me get some idea of what's going on."

"I already told you I am as sick as a dog," Indie said with a weary laugh.

"How is your stomach?"

"It feels like I have been ingesting sawdust. And my nose is dripping."

"I see." The woman made some notes on a pad in front of her. She answered a call and then rose. "Let's go and see what's going on with you."

"If it's not what I hope it is, I will be very disappointed."

"One step at a time." The doctor responded with a smile.

*****

"Well?" Josh could barely wait for them to reach the parking lot before he demanded an explanation.

"I am still trying to process." Opening the passenger side of his vehicle, she slipped in and placed a hand over her heart.

She was pregnant! She wanted to run all over the parking lot and shout it to the world. And then she wanted to take the report to the doctors who had given her those dire prognoses all those years ago and shove it into their faces and shout in delight.

"Indie, we are not leaving this lot until you tell me what's going on," he said firmly as he turned to face her.

Taking his hand, she pressed it against her cheek and closed her eyes. He jerked in alarm at the tears streaming down her face.

"Oh God! What is it?"

"No." She sniffed, removing his hand from her face but holding onto it. "It's excellent news. I am going to have a baby."

"What?" He blinked, the statement taking him completely by surprise.

She laughed at the shocked look on his face. "I know it's a surprise-"

"That's the understatement of the century. I was not aware you were seeing - Michael?"

"No. It's complicated."

"I have all the time in the world," he told her grimly. "Let's hear it."

Firming her lips, she let go of his hand. Brushing the folds of her pleated dress over her thighs, she stared at the trees, waving in the gentle breeze. "I have been seeing someone."

"I gathered that. Who is he?"

"Royce St. Clair." She turned her head in time to see him jerk in surprise.

"St. Clair as in the multi-billionaire, that St. Clair?"

"Yes."

"You are in a relationship-"

"Not exactly." She felt the pain of it, closing what was supposed to be the happiest day of her life.

"I am afraid you will have to explain that to me."

She told him it had started with her meeting with Madison and had evolved into a physical relationship with her father.

"You are telling me that this man just wanted to have sex with you?" Josh demanded.

Indie winced at that and turned her head away before he could see the pain on her face.

"He has been through a lot-"

"I don't give a damn about that. What the hell are you going to do now? And does he even want another child?"

"I am sure he will come to accept-"

"My God!" Joshua bit off furiously. "He doesn't, does he? You could have had a perfectly nice guy like Michael and chose this man with only one thing in mind. What the hell were you thinking?"

"Stop yelling!" She put her hands over her ears and felt his words driving like spikes inside her brain. "Please."

Taking several breaths, Joshua tried to calm down and realized that he was making matters worse. Turning her to face him, he removed her hands from her face. "I am sorry," he told her quietly. "You have to realize this is an impossible situation."

"I know." She told him faintly. "No matter what, I want this baby."

"Of course you do, and I am here for you." He took her hands in his. "You are pregnant for a mighty man; he will want to know that you are carrying his baby."

"I know." She squeezed his hands and took a deep breath. "I just don't want him to be with him because he is obligated."

"Take your time." Leaning forward, he kissed her on the forehead. "Where to?"

"Home."

"I will make some calls and switch some things around so that I can stay with you.""No-"

"That was not a question," he told her firmly. "Is there anything you want me to pick you up?"

"Something to make soup."

*****

He had been throwing himself into the job in a frenzy that was wearing him out. He was exhausted. Of course, he was not sleeping at night, and drinking himself into a stupor was not doing much good either.

She had not called him. It was Thursday, and he had not heard from her. It also occurred to him that he had never given her his number. Madison had announced at dinner last night that she had not been at the store.

"Really?" He had ventured casually. "She might have gone out for lunch."

His daughter shook her head. "Miriam, that's her friend. She said that Indie was not feeling well and had left for the day. I hope she feels better." She turned to her grandmother. "I want to make her a get-well card."

"That's a good idea, darling." Rachel had beamed at her.

Royce excused himself soon after and headed straight to his room, where he sat on his balcony smoking his cigar with a bottle of scotch on the table. What the hell was wrong with her? He wondered. And why did he care? Was she pregnant? No. If so, she would have called him, or would she?

He had left her after her poignant admission. She had told him she didn't want to see him again unless he was willing to commit. And he wasn't. He was fresh from commitments and would not bow to anyone's wishes again—indeed, he was not a woman.

Perhaps he needed to go out. He had not been to a function in some time—not since he met her. He should get back out there, so he picked up the phone and called.

*****

"You are spoiling me," Indie told him softly as he brought in the steaming vegetable soup and placed the tray over her lap. "It smells wonderful."

"I see you finished the tea and the crackers."

"I was hungry. And I am going to enjoy this as well." She pointed to the soup.Joshua sat on the side of the bed and watched as she dipped her spoon into the bowl.

"I want to be happy for you," he said quietly.

"What's stopping you?

"The circumstances." He shook his head. "Your past relationships-"

"I tend to pick the wrong people. Yes, you don't have to remind me." Blowing on the liquid, she tasted it and closed her eyes in delight. "It's perfect."

"Thanks."

Indie eyed him for a minute. "I don't want you to worry about me."

"That's going to be difficult." He sighed heavily. "I want you to be happy."

"I am. Really." She added when he looked skeptical. "I have wanted a baby for a long time, and with the help of God, I am pregnant. Dr. Meadows said that it should be an easy pregnancy. She said I might have a few issues, but I don't mind as long as I get to hold my baby in my arms."

"You are going to have to tell him."

"I will." She promised. "Eventually. But right now, I just want to enjoy the moment. Can you enjoy it with me? You are going to be an uncle."

A smile touched his stern lips. "That I am." Patting her leg, he rose. "I have some calls to make. I will be right downstairs. Make sure you finish everything in the bowl."

"I will."

The bright smile faded as soon as the door closed behind him, and she felt the weight of everything crushing her. It was Thursday, and he had not called, which probably meant he was not going to, and she had been fooling herself.

*****

"I was so happy to get your call," Cordelia told him with a wide smile. "I was beginning to think you had lost my number."

"Not likely." He escorted her to the private booth he had reserved for them. Taking his seat, he nodded at the waiter hovering. The man melted away and brought back a bottle of Cabernet within minutes.

"We will pour, thanks." Royce waved him away and removed the cork from the bottle, pouring the rich dark red into the two glasses. The woman seated across from him was a vivacious and sophisticated beauty.

Cordelia Stone was a well-known actress known for her legendary affairs. Royce deliberately chose her because he had no fear of her wanting anything else than what he had to offer.

She was also very entertaining, with a biting wit. She was straightforward and exuded confidence, which was not difficult considering she was beautiful. Her thick, sable brown hair was coiled into an elegant chignon at the nape of her neck, and her skin was a smooth ivory that contrasted sharply with the ice-blue dress she was wearing.

"So," Lifting her glass, she offered a silent toast. "What have you been up to, and why have I not seen you at any of the functions I have been to since my return two months ago?"

"I have been busy." His smile was lazy as his eyes wandered over her delicate features. "I understand you are no longer married?"

Cordelia grimaced and wrinkled her nose. "News, especially the bad kind, gets around fast."

"Is it bad? I felt you were on your way out the last time I saw you."

"Victor was a piece of crap. He was a failed producer who figured he could ride my frock tail to get him back in the game. He started to go after my money when that did not happen."

"You had him signed a prenup."

She nodded. "I listened to you and did just that. The bastard had the nerve to say that he was not interested in my money but only wanted me."

Royce took a sip of his wine and savored the texture. He had ordered the filet mignon because he knew it was her favorite, but his appetite was nonexistent.

"How about you?"

"Busy," he told her briefly.

"And I take it you are not involved with anyone."

His mind flashed to the woman who was inside his bloodstream. "No, not right now.""So our timing is perfect."

He smiled at that. "What do you have in mind?"

"We are both unattached and not looking for anything long-term." Her lips curved seductively. "I say that we forget everything and screw our brains out."

Royce chuckled softly and lifted his glass in a toast.