10. 10

10

Kalle

A ll the air in the office seems to be sucked out as Edie slams the door behind her.

That didn't go how I thought it would.

It makes sense that it didn't go well since I didn't even think about it. That could be the problem right there.

It hit me when Edie was talking—how incredible she would be as a queen. Edie has the ability that I'll never have to make everyone love her, even when she's rearranging their lives in one of her organizational kicks.

And in the same breath, I realized how easy it would be to have her as my wife.

Edie has always been important to me. I don't think she knows just how much. All the big things in my life—she's been a part of. When I was playing ball, I called her after every game. She came to the Briar to watch me win it. She sat in the pew behind me at my mother's funeral, tears sliding down her face, her hand on my shoulder, my back, making sure I knew she was there for me.

The thought popped into my head fully formed and ready to be spoken aloud—that I could be king with Edie at my side. So I said it. Sort of .

And she said no.

I slump into the chair behind the desk. Crap.

That's why I've never made a move on her. You don't mess around with your best friend because what happens when things go wrong—you lose your best friend. And that's the last thing I want.

Because there have been times that I've wanted Edie.

Lots of times.

The night of our high school graduation when Dad let me host the party at the castle. Edie, wearing those cut-off shorts that showed off long legs and the Katy Perry T-shirt I bought her when she took me to the concert, was beside me all night. I had thought maybe … the beer I drank made me think, why not …

And then Stef Davies pulled me into the gardens.

The day I came back from Baltimore, cut from the team, my shoulder messed up, and I stopped at the hotel where she was working. She looked up from behind the desk, her dark hair cut short to her chin, and smiled.

I didn't do anything then because I knew I was as messed up as my shoulder, but I lived with the regret for quite a while.

There have been so many of those I want Edie moments over the years that most have blended into a heaviness in my heart. If I could guarantee the safety of our friendship, I would make so many moves on Edie, in a heartbeat.

But she's not interested. And I would mess it up.

Like I just did.