9. 9

9

Edie

I 'm surprised to see Kalle back so soon. Usually when he's up at the castle, he's gone for at least half a day, hanging with his brothers and taking advantage of the castle's facilities.

There's a lot one can do at a castle because—castle.

But he's back sooner than expected, rain shining on his hair from the run through the alley. Kalle's last haircut was a mohawk fade with the sides shaved brutally close, enough to see the white of his scalp. I'm glad to see the sides finally growing in because every time I stood beside him, I was tempted to stroke the soft hairs behind his ear.

My father stayed long enough for a second cup of coffee and to finish Dillon's crossword. He didn't say anything more about Mathias but I'm sure he'll be pressed into giving up any information he's gleaned to my mother when he gets home. I urged him to stay until the storm breaks but he headed out not long after Kalle left.

The breakfast/early lunch rush has ended but the pub is still packed, so much that newcomers have crowded around tables full of friends and relations, and the bar is standing room only. The screens mounted on the wall are showing the 1992 World Series with the Braves versus the Blue Jays and causing as many cheers and complaints as if it were a real-time game.

I sense The King's Hat will sell a lot of beer today.

I get a text from my mother.

Mom: You need to tell me everything about Mathias!

She adds an emoji of wide eyes and big smile.

I tuck my phone in my pocket instead of answering. I don't feel like thinking about Mathias right now. Last night was… nice…

Mathias is nice.

Am I old enough to settle with nice ?

There's no sense dwelling on this, or giving my mother any information because it was a date. Dinner.

A good-night kiss that was also nice.

I need a new descriptive.

Kalle is quiet when he comes back. No one would ever call him loquacious, but now he offers more grunts and growls than his usual monosyllabic answers.

"How's Maggot?" I ask in a low voice as I follow him into the kitchen. The first time my dad took me to the castle gardens, the king came out to say hello. I was flustered and scared, because as wonderful and gracious a person as King Magnus is, he's still a king and I was a five-year-old girl. So when my father introduced me and the king bent over to shake my hand, I stumbled on his name and out came King Maggot.

The king loved it and still insists on referring to himself as Maggot when I'm around .

Chase chats with Tyler by the sink and Skywalker has taken a quick break from the grill, and this is what will constitute alone time for me today.

"Good." Kalle doesn't look up from where he's slapped a burger on the grill.

"Did you have a meeting with him?"

Kalle makes a garbled noise that sounds like one of his grunts got caught up with a word. I peer around him to look at his face. His expression is strange, one I've never seen before.

"What's going on?" I demand. "You look weird."

"You look weird," Kalle counters dully.

I sigh. "A bad comeback will not distract me. What happened? Is there word of Daulton?"

How Kalle never knew his father's secretary was such a slimeball is beyond me.

"What about him?" The strange expression is replaced by that look in his eyes that makes any drunk back down. I don't much like angry Kalle, but any woman would agree he's very attractive when he's in a temper.

I don't step back. I also do my best not to breathe deeply because lately, Kalle's scent has been doing strange things to my insides. I've trained my insides not to react to anything Kalle, so I can't understand why now ? "Stella told me Daphne is back," I tell him. "Alone."

He humphs . "That didn't last long."

"Which is probably a good thing. Apparently, Silas is trying to come up with a reason not to give Daphne her job back, but he really needs another person in the coffee shop for the summer. "

Kalle grunts.

When he gets like this, I know there's something wrong, and my first instinct is to try and chatter it out of him. Sometimes it works.

Sometimes he tells me in no uncertain terms to go away.

"Your father didn't say anything about it?" I ask.

He flips the burger. "I didn't ask." His heavy sigh is audible even over the sizzle of the cooking meat. "And it'd be Dunc who'd know more. Or Spencer, if the castle is planning on pressing charges."

"I'm not sure what you could press charges for." I hand him a slice of cheese and a bun for his burger.

Kalle has a great smile—when it comes out—all white teeth and full lips, but when he's mad and smiles, he ends up looking like a shark. "Spence could figure something out."

"Is that what's bothering you?" I press. "Daphne and Daulton stuff?"

"I haven't given it a thought until you brought it up."

"That's a good thing." Everything about Kalle tells me to let it go but I've never been one to take the easy way out. "What did your father say?"

Kalle glances up at me for a moment before he adds the cheese to the burger. "He knew Odin was stepping down."

Abdicating. That's the proper word. Prince Odin abdicated his place in succession. Kalle has never talked about it with me, but I know his brother was Kalle's safety net if he abdicated. Odin would make a great king.

So would Kalle, but he's never been able to see that.

"That's not surprising," I venture.

"It was to me. And now I can't… I can't do that to Bo. "

"Bo would be okay."

Bo, third son of King Magnus, lacks the gregarious nature of his father and younger siblings, and while he shares the sense of responsibility all of the siblings have, Bo thinks he's best serving the country by living alone in the middle of the country and setting up nature reserves and animal preservation sites. I've always liked Bo with his quietness and soft sense of humour, but I don't know him well. I wonder if anyone really does.

The royal children of King Magnus are many things, but none of them really have close friends. Spencer is more family than friend, and Gunnar has Fenella, but she lives in the US. Kalle has Jonathon, and me; Lyra has Kate. The Laz sisters, Stella and Sophie used to be close to Lyra and the boys, but things happened there.

They have many acquaintances, but few can be considered close to them. It's as if there's an invisible line separating the princes and Lyra from the rest of the town and very few are allowed to get past it. Or maybe that very few try.

My heart warms at the thought that I'm one of them to get past the line into their inner circle.

Kalle rubs the back of his neck. "No one ever told you about Bo, did they?" he asks with a grimace. "About him and Hettie Crow?"

I haven't heard that name in a while. Hettie is the younger sister of Mabel Crow, and Mabel was the inspiration for many stories and scandals in Battle Harbour, including the allegation that it was her who broke up Gunnar and Kate McKibbon years ago. While unlikely, it wouldn't be unheard of with both Gunnar's and Mabel's reputations. She's a year younger than I am, and often comes into the pub. I don't think life has been easy for her. Or too kind.

I don't think I've ever seen Kalle have a conversation with her.

Mabel's sister, however, was a different story. Before she left town years ago, Hettie was the complete opposite of Mabel, save the long dark hair and pretty face. Hettie was sweet, soft, and beautiful.

She was like Bo.

I scrunch my nose as I try to remember past gossip. "I knew they were together for a year or so and then they weren't," I say. "And Hettie moved away. Just disappeared and no one talked about it."

They might have talked about it but not when Mabel was within earshot. Because the Erickson family might be loyal and watch each other's backs but Mabel is a lioness when it comes to her little sister.

Kalle nods. "Yeah."

"Just yeah? There's got to be more to it if you brought it up."

"Well… yeah. But…" He shakes his head and mutters something that sounds like "You're family."

I face him, hands on hips. "You're going to have to tell me now," I demand. I'm not much for hurtful gossip, but working here, it's impossible not to hear the talk. And there was lots of talk when Hettie up and left one night. "What happened between them?"

Kalle leans around me to make sure no one is within earshot. "Hettie left."

"Yeah…" I impatiently motion for him to continue .

"She left because Bo didn't want her to have to deal with the media scrum that comes when one of us dates. Because he hates dealing with being in the public eye—hates it so much that he went off to live in the woods. You can't live in the woods and rule a country."

I watch Kalle flip the burger onto the bun and scrape the grease into the trap.

He's right. Laandia doesn't have a president or a prime minister—King Magnus is head of the government, and you can't run a country from a little house in the forest, as cute and quaint as it might be.

"If I don't become king, it falls on Bo. And that would be a hard no for him, so then Gunnar. And if anything happened to him, then Lyra." Kalle actually shivers at the thought as he adds ketchup and mustard to his burger.

I know there's more to the story of Bo and Hettie, but I make a hard right back to Kalle being king because he never talks about it.

He's content to let others talk, but his true opinion on the subject is unknown.

"Have you actually seriously considered abdicating?" I ask in a quiet voice. "Do you hate the idea that much?"

Skywalker pushes open the swinging door to the kitchen with his barrel belly, Leah chattering behind him. But when she notices our serious expressions, she grabs Skywalker's arm and pulls him back into the bar area. "Fries can wait for a minute."

"No, we'll take this into the office," I call to her as I motion for Kalle to follow me. The office itself is neat and tidy with bookshelves and a filing cabinet in the corner, but invoices and receipts are strewn around the PC because Kalle was in here last.

I make a point to take a minute to deal with them when we're done talking.

"I should have made you something," he says apologetically.

"I already ate, and don't change the subject."

Kalle takes a bite of his burger, forehead furrowing as he chews. "I don't hate the idea," he finally says. "I just… Dad gave me the line from Dune, about being called to lead and answering it, like it's a bloody phone call."

"It's a good line." Kalle huffs at my response so I continue, folding my arms across my chest. "Did you want more from him? Like for him to tell you to stop being wishy-washy and accept that you'll be the king Laandia needs when the time comes?" We've been friends long enough to not have to pull our punches, but I've never gotten into this with him. And I'm not about to coddle him because Kalle would be an amazing king.

I know that. Everyone should realize that.

But the main problem is that I'm afraid Kalle doesn't see it.

Another huff and I give a hiss of frustration. "I've never understood why you don't see yourself like the rest of us do."

His mouth twists into a frown. "Because I know myself better than the rest of you."

"Really?" I cock my head and stare him down. "You think so? I know you miss playing baseball more than any other sport because you'll grab anything round like a lime or one of those squishy stress balls I buy for you and hang onto it like you're getting ready to throw it across the room. I know you pretend to hate being dragged up to the castle for family dinners, but you secretly love spending time with your family because they mean everything to you. And I know you'll be king someday because you won't put the pressure of it onto Bo, but you're so scared of not being enough that you can't just come out and say it."

Kalle narrows his eyes, the blue darkening like the night sky. "You think you're so smart."

"I am so smart, that's why you poached me from the hotel to work for you."

He gives me a lopsided smile. "Yeah, but you've stuck around so that proves you're not as smart as you think you are."

"I stick around because you pay me to."

"Yeah yeah," he grumbles. "Remind me not to give you a raise when you ask."

"And I'm asking for a big one. Soon." I grin at Kalle until his smile falls and I know he's ready to dish more. "What else did he say?"

"I'm not scared," he says instead.

"It would be perfectly natural if you are," I tell him in a gentle voice. "I'd be terrified."

"You… you'd walk in there and have everything organized and get the perfect people to do the perfect things for them and have the country fall in love with you within the day," Kalle says in a rueful voice. "You'd be amazing."

"Yeah, maybe," I concede with a sly smile and Kalle scoffs. "But so would you."

"I don't know…"

"What else did your father say? "

Kalle presses his lips together as if he's trying to stem the flow of words. It has been a lot for him. But then he opens his mouth and: "He said I should get married before I become king."

I take a step back into the door because the thought of Kalle getting married is as jarring as sticking a finger in a light socket. He… Married? To a woman who would be his wife.

"Oh," I manage. Kalle with a wife. Kalle with a woman longer than four dates. Kalle in love and with his happily ever after. I want that for him but—

But…

"Yeah," he says heavily. He finishes the burger in about three bites, and all I can do is watch him, and try not to picture my life without Kalle.

Because if he marries, I won't be part of the package. I won't be…

I stare at my crossed arms and blink furiously. "Married," I manage. "Huh."

"Yeah.""Like… now? And who would you marry?"

Kalle shrugs helplessly. "I don't do relationships. They never work so getting married would be… Yeah. No."

"You've never tried to make one work," I point out, trying to get back my sense of equilibrium at the thought of Kalle with a wife. "Your father obviously wants to be around to see you get married, so it makes sense."

He scrubs at the back of his neck and I worry about the skin back there. "I dunno. The thought of dating—"

"You've been dating for years."

"None of them mattered. I wasn't looking for a wife. "

Things start to get blurry and I know it's because of this conversation. At the thought of Kalle… I rest my back against the door to steady myself. "And you think you should look for one now."

It's not a question. It's a statement, and all I can think of is that Kalle is about to tell me that he's going to marry Fenella Carrington.

She's practically royalty; her father is one on the one percent list in the United States, so it makes sense.

But Kalle and Fenella… it doesn't make sense to me.

There's never been a woman with Kalle who has made sense for me.

"Maybe?" That is definitely a question. Kalle falls back to asking questions when he doesn't want to answer them, and so I know…

My heart gives a thump of disbelief. Of disappointment.

"Well, then. Who?"

"I don't know," he says, with frustration.

"You have to have an idea."

"I really don't."

"You have to. If you think you can just up and get married… If you could have any woman in the world marry you, who would it be?"

He shrugs. "I don't know. I just—You."

My heart jumpstarts as if Kalle had given it a shot of adrenaline. "I'm sorry—what?"

Kalle stares at me like he's seeing me for the first time, and then he gives me such a smile of relief that I'm reminded of how my baby nephew looks when he's done a load in his diaper. "You should marry me. "

"No." Even as the word escapes like a puff of cold air from a freezer, I know that's not what I'm supposed to say. But this isn't what Kalle should be saying either. Because friends like us don't get married.

And friends don't ask friends to marry them like that.

I can't have heard him correctly. There's no way Prince Kalle of Laandia… there's no way my best friend Kalle Erickson…

There's no way either of them wants to marry me.

No way. But still—

"You should marry me," Kalle insists. The relief has vanished and now he looks like he did when he had the brilliant yet drunken idea to dare Gunnar to strip naked and run through the town square. "Yeah. You'd make a good queen. A great one. You said it yourself."

I laugh. I can't help it. The thought of a sentence including the words me and queen sends a burst of laughter—a guffaw, really—bubbling up and out. Some of the guffaw heads out through my nose and I snort. "No way."

"Seriously, Edie, think about it."

" You can't be thinking about it. Me and you, and me queen?" I stammer, searching for the right words, when there can't be any words because this can't be happening. "You're kidding," I insist. "You have to be. Plus, that's the worst proposal I've ever heard."

"It's not a proposal, it's a—it's you." Kalle stares down at me from his height and all I can think is that he's so tall and so broad. And so Kalle—and he can't be serious.

But he looks serious. He looks like he means it.

"It's a good idea," he says quietly, holding my gaze like it's my hands in his .

My hands are actually in his. I hadn't realized Kalle had grabbed my hands and ohmygod , if he goes down on one knee—

"I think you'd be perfect," he says, still upright on two legs.

Not, I think you're perfect but you'd be perfect like I'm auditioning for a role. Interviewing for a job. Kalle thinks I'd be perfect for a position, but not for him.

If I keep that train of thought, I can overlook the position he has me in mind for would be queen. Because that just can't happen.

That is fairytale land, and my life has never, nor will it ever exist in fairytale land.

"Are you serious?" Any humorous aspect of this conversation vanishes. "You think it's a good idea to marry me, but you don't want to propose?"

"I don't need to… Okay, it was a proposal." Kalle backtracks when he notices my expression.

I know exactly what expression I'm wearing because I've seen it on my mother's face many times.

"No," I say.

"No…?"

"No, I'm not going to marry you."

"Edie…" I think Kalle knows he did something wrong, but I don't let him finish.

"I can't believe you did that. Unlike you, I value the idea of marriage. I want a love like my parents. Like your parents. I want a husband to love and respect me enough to get down on one knee and tell me all the ways he plans to make me happy for the rest of his life. Not some pity—hey, we should get hitched because I need a queen. "

"I just thought…" Kalle says miserably. "We're friends."

"And so you should know that is not the way to ask me anything. You may be my best friend, Kalle Erickson, and I want to marry my best friend, but not you. And not like this."

And I yank open the office door and storm out, leaving him there, scrubbing at the back of his neck.