Chapter 57

57

ZACH

No amount of coffee would be enough today.

My conversation with Jason last night had left me bouncing between cautious optimism and fear that all my efforts would be in vain and I'd never be able to make things right between us. My racing thoughts had made sleep elusive and when I finally managed to find my way into slumber, it had been interrupted by another nightmare just like the one I'd had the night I met Sean. As a result, I'd woken this morning feeling like someone had poured sand directly into my eyeballs, then held them open and blown on them with a high-speed fan. The result was that the inside of my eyelids felt like they were lined with sandpaper and my eyes were so red that I looked like I'd gone on a three-day bender. Thankfully, it was perfectly normal for me to be wearing sunglasses for my job, so I'd at least be saved from a million questions about why I looked so tired.

"Dude. You look tired. Rough night?"

So much for that idea. I turned to look at Lauren Simpson, the girls' soccer coach from Brinkley, who was helping with camp this week.

"Just a bad night of sleep," I said with a weak smile. "Let's have the kids run laps for warm-up, then we'll give them their new group assignments. Did you give any more thought to which group you want to put Asher in?"

We talked about group assignments while other coaches joined the conversation and gave their input before the kids arrived. Promptly at eight o'clock, we started with the kids running laps. A couple of kids showed up a few minutes late, looking frazzled and apologetic but at least showing some hustle as they joined the other runners. But by eight-thirty, we were still missing two kids—Sean and his cousin, Rusty.

I checked my email, not finding any messages regarding their absence. At eight forty-five, I called Sarah, but she didn't answer, so I left a voicemail. Camp continued, but I found myself distracted and irritable with worry. Finally, a little after ten, I received an email from Sarah thanking me for the opportunity but letting me know the boys were not continuing with camp. I was relieved to know the kids were safe and accounted for but frustrated by the lack of further explanation.

I ran home to check on Daisy during the break between the morning and afternoon sessions. I'd opted to leave her home today but wanted to check on her just to be sure. She happily greeted me at the door, and I was pleased to see she hadn't gotten into anything or left any messes for me to clean up. I let her out back while I quickly made a sandwich for lunch.

After a moment of internal debate, I pulled out my phone and texted Jason.

Sarah pulled Sean and Rusty from camp for the rest of the week

Jason

Shit

Did she say why?

Nope. She didn't even notify me until I called and left a message that I was worried. She finally sent me an email around 10

Sorry. I hope I'm not interrupting your day

I'm working but it's slow at the firehouse. You're good

How well do you know Sarah?

Do you think I should talk to her?

I don't really know her at all. Astaire's small, but not that small

I was trying to figure out a way for Sean to see Daisy anyway. Maybe I'll give her a call

Let me know how it goes. I feel bad for the kid

Me too

I pocketed my phone, finished my sandwich, let Daisy back in, and headed back to the high school.

By the end of the day, I was hot, exhausted, and pissy. Colby's dad had let him return to camp but had sat in the stands for every minute of the three-hour session, watching everything I did like a hawk. It had left me feeling jumpy and agitated, in addition to the lack of sleep and worry over Sean. I made a mental note to include language in next year's brochures indicating camp would be closed for observation in the future. I likely needed to include something about closed practices in the fall paperwork as well.

I ran home and showered, debating my options once again. I had a feeling my phone calls would go unanswered, so I rounded Daisy up and hopped in my car. Sarah's house was on the edge of town in an older, run-down neighborhood. Rusted-out trucks were parked on the street. The houses were dingy and dilapidated, some with overgrown yards. Here and there were tidier homes. Small but clearly maintained, with fresh-cut lawns and flower beds blooming with color. I held out hope that I'd find Sean in one of those homes, but my stomach sank as my map guided me to the address I'd entered before I left.

The house in front of me was a small split level that looked like it had once been painted a dark blue, but the sun and the elements had faded the color, giving it a splotchy, mottled appearance. The yard was more weeds than grass and littered with children's toys. I spotted a small pink bicycle, a play basketball hoop, several bouncy balls, and a jump rope. Two bigger bikes lay on their sides on the other side of the driveway. I'd known Sarah had two kids, and now, with Sean, four people were squeezed into this tiny house. The knot in my chest tightened.

Taking a breath, I stepped out of the car, grabbing Daisy's leash and pulling her out with me. We made our way up to the door and rang the bell. I'd met Sean's Aunt Sarah one other time last week when I'd dropped off some athletic clothes for Sean at Fred's Diner, where she worked. Tonight, she opened the door with a look of exhaustion. Her dirty-blonde hair was pulled into a messy bun and she wore her work uniform. I wasn't sure if I'd caught her after her shift or as she was getting ready to leave, but either way, she did not look happy to have a visitor at her door.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, frowning at me through the dirty storm door.

Sean and Rusty came up behind her, curious eyes trying to see who might be at the door, but when Sean spotted Daisy, he pushed past his aunt and opened the door, falling to his knees and wrapping his arms around the dog. Daisy's entire body wiggled with excitement as she tried to lick his face and any other part of him she could get to. Tears streamed from Sean's eyes as he sobbed into her fur, the first bit of emotion I'd seen from him since I'd met him in the hospital.

Sarah's expression softened as she watched Sean and the pup, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. This wasn't a woman who didn't care. This was a woman doing her best to keep it together, who'd been handed another mouth to feed without warning. And while Sean had lost his mother, Sarah had also lost her sister. I had no idea what her relationship with Sean's mother had been like, but I had to imagine losing your sister and having your nephew placed in your care in one fell swoop would be the type of thing that might push you to your limit. I'd come over here feeling frustrated and angry with the woman who I felt was limiting Sean's potential, and now I felt like an insensitive jackass.

"I'm sorry to just show up like this. Do you have a few moments to talk?"

She looked at me warily but nodded, opening the door wider so I could step inside. I left Daisy with Sean and followed her up a half-flight of stairs to the living room. There were toys strewn about, and the furniture was mismatched and worn, but there were homey touches as well. Pictures in frames next to the TV. Children's drawings hanging proudly on display. A cozy blanket draped over the back of the couch. A little girl with the same shade of dirty-blond hair was sitting on the floor, quietly coloring. She looked to be around seven or eight.

I sat on one end of the couch while Sarah sat in an adjacent chair. "Look, I'm sorry I pulled the boys from camp, but Rusty wasn't really feeling it and I don't want Sean riding his bike up there by himself. And frankly, I need the boys here at home. I was off yesterday, but I had to work today, and the childcare I thought I had arranged for Lauren fell through, so I needed the boys here with her. The rest of the week is more of the same. I know you went to all the trouble for Sean to get all the soccer gear, but I'm sorry. I just don't think I can make it work."

"Would you be open to allowing me to give him rides to camp?"

She tilted her head, studying me. "Why are you so invested in him? Is he really that good?"

"I think he has potential, yes. But it's more than that. I lost my mom when I was sixteen. It changed so many aspects of my life, but I still had my sister, my father, and my home. I can't imagine what it's like to be a boy his age and lose everything. I can't give him any of that back, but I can give him something to look forward to. Something that allows him to just be a kid for a little while and leave all that other stuff behind."

"You lost your mom too?"

Sarah and I turned our heads toward the stairs, where Sean stood about halfway up with Daisy in tow. I turned the rest of my body in his direction. "Yeah. She was killed in a car accident."

He nodded, coming up the last couple of steps. "How come you have Daisy?"

"When your aunt told me you guys couldn't keep her, I adopted her. I was thinking about getting a dog anyway, so it was perfect timing. And I thought maybe you could visit her sometime."

His face brightened at that. "Really?"

"Absolutely. I can even bring her over here if that's easier." I spared a glance for Sarah, who nodded.

"Aunt Sarah, do you think I can finish the camp since Coach says he can drive me? It's just three more days, and I can do extra chores or something to make up for it."

Her eyes flicked to mine. "Are you sure?"

"Of course."

She turned back to Sean. "Honey, you don't need to do any more chores than you're already doing. And yes, I suppose you can go."

"Yes!" He gave a joyful fist pump, then ran back down the stairs, shouting for Rusty, no doubt to tell him the news.

"He's always trying to do extra chores," Sarah said as soon as he was out of earshot. "I think he feels like he's a burden and wants to make up for it somehow. It breaks my heart."

"He seems like a sweet kid."

"He is. His mama and I were close growing up. Rusty and Sean are just a few months apart. I just wish I could do better for him. This isn't the life my sister wanted for her boy." Her voice shook, but she didn't let the tears escape. "Thank you for helping him."

"Thank you for allowing me to."

She nodded. "If you'll excuse me, I've gotta get dinner ready."

"Yes, of course. I'll be on my way."

I headed down the steps and back outside, where Sean and Rusty were sitting on the porch with Daisy lying between them.

"I have to be at practice early since I'm the coach, so that means I'll pick you up around seven-fifteen. Can you be ready then?"

He nodded. "Um, do you think you can bring Daisy with you?"

"It's going to be awfully hot again tomorrow. I think Daisy would be more comfortable at home. But how about we stop by my house after practice and you can have a quick visit before I bring you home."

"That would be so awesome!"

"I better get her home now so she can have dinner, but I'll see you tomorrow?"

He handed over the leash, giving her one more scratch behind the ears, his eyes watching her longingly. "I'll be ready."