19.

R OOSTER

I was stunned when Rosie started barking orders like a drill sergeant, but I jumped to do her bidding. What really shocked me was the ease in which Rosie and her friends jumped right into the middle of, what I had so obviously wrongly assumed, was a situation that would completely freak them out.

While I looked for the scissors, something that I was never able to find when I needed, Fauna came into the house with a stack of towels and a heavy-looking backpack slung over her shoulder.

"What are you looking for?" she asked as she put the pile of towels on the counter and dropped the backpack to the floor.

I looked up at her as I rifled through my junk drawer and then said, "Scissors."

"I've got some," she said before she unzipped the front pocket and pulled out a pair of angled medical scissors like EMTs or hospital staff used. She handed the sealed package over to me along with an unopened box of surgical gloves and said, "Tell Ro that I'm going to tear these up, and then I'll be right in."

"Um . . ."

"Hurry up, man! Good grief!"

I rushed down the hall with supplies Fauna had given me and walked into the bathroom to find Okie shirtless and washing his hands at the sink. I handed the box of gloves to Rosie and asked, "What else do you want me to do?"

"Strip and get into the shower. Okie is relatively clean already, but you're covered in God only knows what."

"But I . . ."

"There's no sense in me trying to clean him up only to have you helping me while you're covered in dirt and grass."

"Good point," I said as I yanked my shirt off over my head while I walked toward the shower. I turned on the water to heat it up and then stripped off my clothes and tossed them into a pile to throw away. Once the water was warm, I stepped into the glass stall and started scrubbing while I watched Rosie squat down beside the tub and rip open the scissors.

By the time I had wrapped myself in a towel and stepped out of the shower, Fauna was next to Rosie and they were cutting the jeans off of Ajax.

"This patch is stuck so I'm going to leave it," Rosie said. When Ajax moaned, she flinched and whispered, "Sorry, Uncle Eric."

"You girls just go on, and I'll have one of the guys help me up so I can shower. I'll be fine."

Rosie knit her brows and frowned before she said, "As if that's gonna help."

When Ajax started to protest, I said, "Honestly, you're in no shape to argue with her."

"If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I'd fart," Ajax mumbled before his head fell to the side.

"Shit. He's out again," Fauna said softly. "I think we need to call in backup."

"So do I."

"You go make the call, and I'll clean him up as much as I can," Fauna said before she gasped. "Why is there blood on his shirt?"

"I don't know," Rosie said as she reached up and tugged at the hem. She stopped when it didn't come off easily and said, "There's a wound up there too!"

"He said . . ."

"Good grief. The man is the master of understatement. I say we just wrap the wounds we can see and leave them as they are until someone who knows what they're doing gets here."

"Who are you gonna call?" I asked as I walked into my closet to find some clothes. "Dianna might be able to help but . . ."

"We need a professional," Fauna interrupted. "Who do you think might be available?"

"I think it should be one of the elders."

"You're right."

"I'll see which one is available and get Dad to bring them," Rosie said.

"Elders? Like from a church?" Okie asked.

"He's a lot like stained glass," Fauna said sadly. "Really pretty, but not all that bright."

Suddenly, Ajax laughed, and I realized he wasn't unconscious after all . . . or at least not anymore. "Sweetheart, you sound so much like your mama, it's terrifying." He moved a little and then winced before he opened his eyes and looked at Rosie. "Rosie-girl, I'm feeling a little woozy. It might be a good idea to go ahead and make that call."

"I've got this. Go outside so you can talk," Fauna encouraged.

"Get one of Grunt's kids, sweetheart. They know how to keep their mouth shut."

"I will," Rosie assured him. "If they're unavailable, I have a few other options."

"Lout's girl," Ajax mumbled. "But I'm not a kid."

"I'll take care of it," Rosie said as she stood up and pulled off her gloves. "Okie, will you get him a bottle of water? We need to get him to drink."

"Fuck that. We need to get him a doctor."

"That's what I'm about to do."

◆◆◆

ROSIE

"No, Mom, I'm not in danger, I'm not sick, I'm not in trouble, I just need to talk to Dad. That's why I called his phone and not yours."

Rooster smiled at me as I rolled my eyes when, even through the small speaker on my phone, we could hear her sigh before she said, "Your dad is napping. Tell me what's going on, Rosie."

"Mom. Come on. Wake Dad up and hand him the phone."

"Fine." I knew Mom was pissed, but I couldn't deal with that now.

Finally, my dad's sleep-roughened voice came on the line, and he said, "What's wrong, Rosie-girl?"

"I shared my location with you. I need you. You should probably leave Mom at home."

Dad's voice was much more coherent when he asked, "What's going on? Are you in danger?"

"Absolutely not, but . . . I don't know how much I can say on the phone. Um. Okay. I've got it. I can guarantee that I've talked to your brother since the last time you did."

" What? "

"So, how long do you think it will take for you to get on the road?"

"Ten minutes."

"Cool. Stop by and pick up Jewel on your way, okay? I'm calling her next."

I heard my mom ranting in the background, and Dad mumbled, "Fuck. It's probably gonna be more like twenty minutes."

"Yeah. I'll tell Jewel you'll be there in thirty. Drive safe. Love you."

"Love you too. I'll be there as soon as I can."

Dad hung up, and I called my friend. I knew she was the right person for the situation, but I hated that I was going to ask her to not only rearrange her schedule at the last minute but also do something that was very illegal, especially for a doctor.

"If you're not calling to tell me that you've finally realized you're head over heels in love and you want to live like the Ingalls family in a cabin in the woods, I'm going to hang up the phone right now."

"We'll get to that later."

"What's wrong?"

"Is there any chance you can pack a special bag and then take a ride with my dad to come see me?"

I heard Jewel suck in a deep breath before she said, "The kids are with their dad this week, so that won't be a problem. I'll be ready when he gets here."

"Thanks, Jewel."

"I'm bringing someone with me."

"Family?" I asked.

"No, but close enough."

I looked over at Rooster, who I could tell had at least a dozen questions to ask me, and then said, "I don't think that's a good idea."

"We might need backup."

"I'm pretty sure that Rooster and his friend have things covered."

"Not that kind of backup."

"Oh. Gotcha. Do you want me to call one of the . . ."

"I've got a friend in town, and she'd be perfect."

"But . . ."

"Do you think I'd have someone I can't trust staying at my house, youngling?"

"No," I grumbled. "I suppose I should bow to your good judgment since you're one of the elders."

"Exactly." I could tell by Jewel's breathing that she was moving around. "I'm trying to make a list in my head of what I need to pack."

I thought about how to word my hint, and finally said, "My friend has three openings in his schedule that I'm sure you'll be interested in taking care of."

"Okay. That's what I needed to know. I'll see you in a bit."

"Thanks, Jewel. You're the very best."

"I know."

Jewel hung up, and I looked over at Rooster who was leaning on the porch rail next to me and said, "Go ahead. I can tell that you're dying to ask me a million and one questions."

"How do you know Ajax?"

"He's my uncle."

"Do you know what he does for a living?"

"I'm not supposed to, but I do."

"Okay, so just to make sure we're on the same page, what do you think he does for a living?"

"He cleans up other people's messes," I said simply. When Rooster just stared at me blankly as if waiting for more explanation, I asked, "What do you think?"

"I don't just think, but I know that I have never been more shocked in my life than I was when I found out that you're related to Ajax." Rooster seemed to consider it for a second before he asked, "Are we talking blood relation or honorary uncle status?"

"He's my dad's younger brother."

"How is that possible?"

"Well, it all started when my grandma and grandpa fell in love . . ."

"Ajax doesn't have parents . . . or family for that matter."

I couldn't help but laugh at the perplexed look on Rooster's face before I asked, "Did you think he was hatched or what?"

Rooster didn't answer, but Okie said, "Ajax crawled from a fissure in the depths of hell, and Satan released him onto the earth to wreak havoc and cause chaos. Everyone knows that."

I laughed even harder before I asked, "Did he tell you that, or did you come up with it on your own?"

"Everybody knows that! I mean . . ." Okie gestured toward the front door and asked, "Have you met him?"

"The man used to read me bedtime stories, and if you knew my mom, you'd understand that she wouldn't allow just anyone to do that," I scoffed. I thought about it for a second before I laughed and said, "Although some of her very best friends are a little . . . um . . . How can I describe them? Let's just say they're colorful and leave it at that."

"I'm so confused right now," Rooster admitted.

"I'm not," Okie insisted. "If she's blood relation to Ajax, then that means you've fallen for a spawn of the devil which means that my future wife is probably just about as bad."

"Who is your future wife again?" I asked with a laugh.

"I can't remember which one is which, but that's not the point here," Okie mumbled. He sighed and said, "I think I'm going to go home."

"Already?" Rooster asked.

"If you're smart, you'll come with me."

Rooster laughed and asked, "Why do you say that?"

"You know Ajax, man. Now she's trying to tell us that there's another one? What do you think will happen when they're in the same room? I'm gonna go home and make sure my shit is ready for the apocalypse."

"Are you high?" I asked.

"Probably," Okie muttered. I laughed because that wasn't really an answer to my question. Suddenly, he threw his hands up and said, "Fuck it. I'll stay. If it's gonna be an end-of-the-world scenario, maybe I'll come out the hero or some shit. I'll probably end up having to save your sorry ass because if her daddy is Ajax's big brother, can you imagine how pleasant he's going to be when he finds out that the two of you have been getting your freak on?"

When Rooster just sighed and shook his head, I asked, "Are all of your friends like this?"

"Oddly enough, Curious, Okie is one of the normal ones."

"That's terrifying."

"You have no idea."

◆◆◆

"Someone's pulling up out front," Okie called out from the living room.

I surveyed my uncle and saw that the circle of blood that had been seeping into the towel from the wound on his thigh hadn't grown any since the last time I marked it, so I hopped up and rushed out into the hallway. Just as I got to the front door, I heard Rooster say, "Down the hall to your left."

My dad appeared at the mouth of the hallway and smiled sadly when he spotted me. "Rosie-girl."

"Hey, Dad."

"What kind of people have you gotten yourself mixed up with?"

"The best kind," I assured him before I kissed his cheek.

"Show me the way," my friend Jewel called out from behind my dad. I leaned around him and smiled at Jewel and the woman walking behind her.

"Hey, Ro! This is my friend Sandi. Sandi, Rosie . . . blah, blah, blah. Where's my patient?"

I saw Rooster standing behind the women with his eyebrows so high they were almost touching his hairline and laughed. "Did you meet Rooster, Jewel?"

"Meet him? Honey, I tried to get him to agree to spend the night with me, and he blushed like a schoolgirl."

"I even offered to join them to sweeten the deal. The man damn near passed out," Jewel's friend, Sandi, said with a grin. "Sad, really. He's sort of cute for a younger guy."

"He's all mine, girls."

"Yeah," Dad grumbled. "I guess we'll have to see about that."

I ignored Dad's comment and turned around to walk back into the bathroom. "We did as much as we could to keep him comfortable."

"I hope he doesn't whine as much as he did the last time I had to work on him," Jewel said as she walked behind me. "You'd have thought I was the one that stabbed him from how much he complained."

"Great," Sandi said in exasperation. "You didn't tell me I'd have to deal with a pussy, Jewel."

"If I had, you wouldn't have come with us."

I heard Rooster start to cough behind me and realized he was trying not to laugh. "It's okay to laugh, Strange. Get them in while you can because it's Jewel's mission to make every person she meets cry at least once."

"I've upped my game," Jewel assured me when I stopped just outside the bathroom door and motioned for her and Sandi to go inside. "My New Year's resolution was to make it happen at least twice."

"How's that working out for you?" my dad asked as he walked past me.

"You cried on the way here, so what do you think?"

"I did not cry!"

"Maybe not," Jewel allowed. But then she winked at me behind his back and said, "But you wanted to."