Chapter 35: Jamie

35

JAMIE

I n animal form, I run, stumbling and shaking, all the way back to the packhouse, checking over my shoulder every few steps, half expecting, half hoping, that Dean’s wolf will be hot on my tail.

If he had harmed my mother, he would have followed me and hunted me down.

Maybe that’s why I'm disappointed every time I look back, and he's not there. Because it proves that all the awful things I accused him of aren’t true. Which, if I’m honest with myself, I knew deep down anyway.

It’s eating away at me with every step I get further away from his home… the home he built as a sanctuary, as a place to get away from his dark memories. And now, I’ve sullied it with my unwanted presence and my baseless insults.

I knew he'd be furious to find me there. I’d hoped he’d get mad enough to admit what he’d done with my mother, because that would prove I was right all along. My words hurt him, but though he was angry, he showed more restraint than any alpha I’ve ever come across. His disappointment was the hardest to take. Because it tells me he really isn't the awful person I convinced myself he is.

Breaking into an alpha’s office is a serious offence. Nobody would question him for tossing a rogue wolf he caught stealing from him into the dungeon and throwing away the key.

Fuck.

Those aren't the actions of a manipulative dictator. I might not understand his behaviour but he’s a good alpha. His pack is lucky to have him. My footsteps slow as my wolf fights me, wanting to run back and beg for forgiveness for my cutting words. Her gut-wrenching sorrow when he looked at me like I’d stabbed him in the back floored me.

He’s my mate. I still can’t believe it. Maybe not for long though.

I shift back and climb the steps to the packhouse. I hear my name, but I don’t stop walking, blindly pushing past a sea of wolves coming in the opposite direction in search of Wyatt.

Maybe he'll have a clearer take on what I should do next. I'm reluctant to go to him, because he won't approve of what I've done, but he’s still the only person I can talk to.

“You look like shit. What's going on? I thought you were recuperating in the alpha's house.” Wyatt glances up at me as he sits down on the bed and pulls off his shoes. “Must be nice being the teacher’s pet. Even if you had to throw yourself off a bridge to gain favour.”

The lightness in his voice, the happiness I can feel radiating from him, makes this even harder. I can’t remember the last time he joked around as easily as this.

I’m about to burst his bubble.

Grabbing a blanket from the bed, I wrap it around myself, and stand silently in front of him, so choked up with emotion that I can’t bring myself to speak.

“Callum gave me the good news that I’m through to the second round, so I went for a jog to loosen up my muscles,” he continues, distracted by the thrill of getting through to the next round. “I'm still sore after yesterday and didn’t get any sleep. Thanks for that, by the way,” he says sarcastically, as he kicks off his runners and walks toward his en-suite, ready to go and get cleaned up. “I can't believe Dean's letting me stay. I thought he'd take the opportunity to get rid of us. The more I think about it, Jamie, I think he seems like a pretty solid guy.”

I swallow back a groan. For fuck’s sake. Is he making this harder on purpose?

“Maybe we just need to talk to him, face to face, ask him what happened. I think he'd appreciate that.”

Now Wyatt has all the answers. Where was he twenty-four hours ago when I really needed him to shake some sense into me?

“Maybe he helped mum to escape, and he can tell us where she went. I mean, I am about to win us a pack and become his colleague.”

Wyatt laughs at his own joke while I slump in the armchair in the corner.

He stops, finally realising I’ve been far too quiet, and stares down at me, his cheerful mood fading when he sees the tear tracks down my cheeks. “What have you done?”

Throwing my arms out, I look up at him, feeling prickly and more than a little defensive. “Fucked everything up.”

Wyatt groans, throwing his head back to stare at the ceiling, before stumbling back and sinking down on the bed behind him. “No. Please, no.”

“I didn't know what to do. I needed to find out what happened to Mum, and I thought he was about to send us away. Then he left me all alone in his house, and I just, my mind just started spinning. I wasn't thinking straight. I found his office. His real office.”

Shaking his head, Wyatt’s mouth falls open, horrified. “You didn’t. Tell me you didn’t.”

I wish I could. “It wasn't locked.”

“So?” Wyatt backs away, as if to distance himself from my actions. “Don't tell me you broke into his private office. Jamie, we talked about this. What if he caught you? Do you think you left your scent behind?”

Wyatt’s eyes are wide as he paces, problem solving mode activated. “Maybe you can find him and apologise, say you went in there by accident.”

He’s gone from pissed off to crisis management. He really would make a great alpha. He was like this when Mum left us, and then again when we got booted from the pack. I know he’d do anything to protect me, but I’m on my own with this one.

“It’s too late for that.”

The look on his face when I said I didn’t want to be his because his father killed his fated mate haunts me. If I could take those words back, I would.

“He caught you. He fucking caught you? Oh god, he’s going to send me packing.” Hands on top of his head, Wyatt sucks in a couple of deep breaths as his mind races. “How are you here? And not locked up or dead.”

I shrug and shake my head at the same time. “I don't know.” I admit. “Because he’s a good guy. Because he’s torturing me by proving just how fucking decent he is.”

I mean he did lock me in his house, I’m not sure what he thought would happen, but I went too far.

“He just told me to get out.”

Wyatt looks as stunned as I feel.

“He knows who we are, Wyatt. Probably since yesterday.”

My brother stops wearing a path in the deep carpet and turns, his face turning as white as a ghost, as understanding dawns on him.

“So, is she here?” Wyatt asks, the fact that our mother is here just dawning on him. It’s not the only bombshell I have to drop.

“I still don’t know,” I whisper, “But we have a brother.”

Wyatt’s freezes. He wasn’t expecting that. He stares at me, in complete and utter shock. Our little pack of two is bigger than we thought.

“He looks just like you, Wyatt.” I hand over the photo and Wyatt clutches it, his eyes going glassy.

He stares at it, then at the door, as if he expects Dean’s enforcers to burst through the door and drag us away any second.

“None of this was part of the plan. You've gone completely rogue here, Jamie.” His poor choice of words would be funny if this situation wasn’t so tragic. “Is he going to throw us out? Maybe if you just go and apologise, he’ll let us stay. We could meet our brother. I don’t care what you have to do, just make this right. I could really win this thing. For once, something could go right for me…”

The longing in his eyes for just one good thing to happen for him is something I feel deep in my heart. He’s given up everything for me, and now I’ve probably ruined his best chance at a fresh start.

Wincing, I own up to the worst part. “I accused him of keeping her from us.” My voice cracks, and big fat tears fall from my eyes as my worst fear seems like the most logical answer. “But I think… she just didn’t come back for us.”

She didn’t want us anymore.

Wyatt stops in front of me and pulls me in for a hug. He’s annoyed with my actions, but he can see I’m beating myself up enough for both of us. Finding her has been my obsession. I’ve let it cloud my judgement. And I’ve hurt Dean.

‘He hates me.”

“Well, you've just accused him, without any evidence, of holding somebody hostage.” Blunt, but accurate. Wyatt rocks back and looks me in the eye, deathly serious. “Jamie, I went along with your plan to come here and look for her because I wanted to win this thing. Not to go breaking and entering. You’ve overstepped. Again.”

My heart drops, because it’s true.

“But why the lies?” I put my head in my hands, and the tears begin to fall again. “Why not just tell us she doesn’t want to see us?”

“I don’t know, Jamie. Maybe she’s sick.” Wyatt wraps his arms around me, his big hand cradling the back of my head to his shoulder. “He lost his mother, too. He’ll understand why you went a bit crazy, eventually.”

My brother is always so positive. He hasn’t heard the real kicker yet. The thing that has my wolf howling in despair.

“He’s my mate,” I whisper, finally saying the words out loud that I can scarcely believe myself.

Wyatt stills, all the colour draining from his already pale face.

“I knew it. When he was more focused on you than me, the giant male wolf stomping through his land....” Burying his fingers in his hair, Wyatt tugs hard, eye wide in disbelief. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t know! She’s been keeping secrets from me.” I bury my face in my hands at the absurdity of the situation. “He’s mine, and now he wants nothing to do with me.”

“But he didn’t reject you straight away.”

“Probably because he has a competition to run, and it would draw attention to us. Give him time.”

And I would have accepted it on day one. But now I’ve had a chance to see the real Dean, not the dangerous alpha I’d heard about, it’s a harder prospect to face.

“How do I fix it, Wyatt?” I demand, feeling more and more desperate, now that the obvious is becoming clear to me. “I accused my mate of being a terrible person. I went through his private things. I told him he didn’t deserve to be the alpha of this pack.”

I’ve potentially damaged our relationship beyond repair.

Wyatt whistles low and grimaces, his worried expression growing more and more solemn with each revelation. Mates are supposed to be cherished, not accused of kidnapping.

“Okay, that’s bad, but we will figure it out. If you're meant to be together, it'll work out. It has to.”

He didn’t see the look on Dean’s face when I said his brother would hate him too .

“I don't know, Wyatt. I've never… never seen anybody look so destroyed.”

Wyatt narrows his eyes, not entertaining my wallowing and grabs my hands. “You're going to have to swallow your pride and apologise. And really mean it.”

Damn it. Damn it, damn it.

I swipe at my eyes with the back of my sleeve and stare at the floor, despairing. The ache in my chest is unbearable. Even if he wants to reject me, I can’t bear the thought of him hating me. Maybe with time, we could be friends. He is my stepbrother after all.

“You have to get through the next round, Wyatt. He said I could stay as long as you’re here, and he won’t go back on his word.”

That’s a totally unfair burden to put on him, but he nods, determined to win this pack, not just for himself, but for both of us.

“Sleep, Jamie. Get some rest, and we’ll figure it out.”

As the adrenaline in my veins wears off, exhaustion creeps in. I'm debating whether I have the energy to go to my room, or if I should just crawl straight under the covers here, when there's a knock at the door.

One quick sniff tells me it’s not Callum here to drag me across the border. It’s Lynn. Sighing, I stand there, unsure what to do. I’m not ready to face anybody yet, but she’s been so good to us. Most of the competitors have begrudgingly accepted our presence here, but to say they welcomed us with open arms would be overstating it somewhat. Lynn has been nothing but friendly.

Wyatt ducks into the bathroom to get changed and leaves me to speak to the she-wolf. She’s probably here to move me somewhere away from the other competitors.

Taking a deep breath, I steal myself for what could be a very unpleasant conversation, depending on how much she knows. I yank open the door, but it's not Lynn who catches my attention, it's the she-wolf standing by her side. With a scent that I recognise.

I can’t move, can’t speak, can barely breath as an avalanche of memories knock the air from my lungs.

Her hair is pulled forward, covering one side of her face, and her hands are clasped together in front of her. Nervous energy pours off her in waves, despite the fact she has a strong wolf. But when she looks up at me from behind the curtain of dark hair, the same colour as my own, I know it’s her.

“Jamie, I believe you've been looking for somebody,” Lynn says, jarringly calm when my world is imploding.

My mother. My mother is standing in front of me, alive and well.

“Jamie's been causing a bit of trouble trying to find you, but hopefully, that’s all at an end now.” Lynn gives me a sharp look. “You’re not to leave the packhouse.”

Nodding, I don’t take my eyes off my mother’s face. She’s skinnier, and the light in her eyes has faded, but other than that, she looks almost exactly the same.

“Just let me know if you need me to come back.” Lynn touches Maggie’s arm and studies her closely, concerned. Lynn seems to think she’s fragile, but I don’t see any signs of ill-health. Nothing that would have meant she couldn’t return to us.

Maggie nods but doesn't break eye contact with me, either.

“I can’t believe it’s you,” she says. We’re both stunned. I don't know how to respond. I don't know what to do. I'm thrilled that she's alive. But why didn't she come and find me? Has she been here all this time? I’ve so many questions I don’t know where to start.

The proof that I was completely wrong about Dean is standing, alive and well, in front of me.

Have I ruined whatever chance I might have had with Dean for a woman who couldn’t even be bothered to make sure we were okay and to let us know she was alive?

But… she’s still my Mum, and I’ve been looking for her for so long.

“Mum,” I whisper, my voice cracking at the end. “I can’t believe you’re alive.”

Tears spill from Maggie's eyes as her thin body shakes.

“I'm so sorry,” she whispers. “I'm just so, so sorry. Dean told me what happened, what you thought he did. It wasn’t him. It was me. I made him promise not to tell anyone. I was just so… ashamed.”

She made him pretend she was dead. He was keeping his word.

“It's okay,” I whisper.

I’m not sure that it is, but she’s here. We’ll get through the rest in time, because that’s what family does.

I'm reaching out to pull her into an embrace when the door to the bathroom opens. Wyatt stands there, jaw hanging open.

“What the hell?” He blinks rapidly, takes a step forward and stops, takes another step and stops, like he can’t believe his eyes.

“It can't be. It can't be.” Shaking his head, he rears back.

“Wyatt, baby,” Mum whispers, unsure of his reaction, but just like I knew he would, once he realises this isn’t a hallucination, he hurries forward, scooping her up and twirling her around.

“I can't believe we found you. But where have you been?”