Chapter Three

I woke up seeing white. White ceilings, white curtains, and white sheets.

"Where am I?" I asked mostly to myself.

"You're in the Il Duce Luna pack infirmary. You had a run in with some hunters. You suffered a__"

"An arrow was shot through my arm and I got shot in the leg almost died of exsanguination from a femoral artery." I finished his sentence.

"Yes, how are you feeling?" the young man asked as I looked over at the voice that was speaking to me to see a kind man who resembled a young Santa Claus. He had rosy cheeks, the makings of a scruffy beard, a jolly round belly, and a smile that put you at ease.

I assessed my body mentally, and I could feel my wolf but I still did not feel like I could shift.

"I think I was poisoned." I said bluntly ignoring his question of how I was feeling.

"Why, do you feel nauseous?" he asked.

"No, I can't shift. That's why I couldn't get away from the hunters, the arrow had something on it that kept me from shifting." I clarified.

"That is quite alarming, it sounds like Wolfsbane," the doctor rumbled and began looking through books and medicines. "But you certainly did quite the number on those hunters."

"How am I supposed to get out of here if I can't shift?" I asked aloud to myself, burying my face in my palms.

"It's not so bad here you know, this pack has been my home and family for many years." The doctor grumbled.

"I've never lived in one place for more than three months." I stated and dared him to say another word.

I hopped off the table and made my way to the door grabbing a robe from a chair to cover my naked body.

"Wait, please," the doc stopped me. "take this as you need it, for the pain."

"I'm not in pain," I said handing the bottle back to him.

"You aren't in pain yet," He assured. "I have some of that already in your system," he said pointing to the bottle I had held out in front of me.

"Thank you,"

The doctor assured me that the poison would filter out in a matter of days and I had nothing to worry about, other than not being able to shift for the time being. I was sitting on the porch when I saw a figure running towards me with a group of patrolling wolves running behind him.

"Jez!!" Jason yelled for me. "Where are you?!"

I hobbled toward him and waved, "Jason! I'm here, I'm fine!" he tackled me to the ground and embraced me, holding me tightly.

"Thank the gods!" he whispered over and over.

I relished in the feeling of safety I had with Jason. The one person who actually cared about me was finally here. His warmth radiated around me. I buried my face in his chest and smelled him. The smell of the forest and his wolf relaxed me. The tension that I was holding unaware of melted away.

"Who are you? And what are you doing on my territory?" A booming voice broke through, interrupting our reunion, and my wolf stirred.

"I'm guessing you are the alpha." Jason said turning to face him.

When Jason moved I got my first look at Alpha Stefan. He had black hair, and brown eyes. Broad shoulders, muscular…everywhere, and tall. I couldn't keep from staring. Intimidation flowed out of him like crashing waves.

"Yes, now there better be a good explanation." Stefan said sternly. "We can talk in my office."

I got up and limped after them, but I couldn't stop looking at Stefan. The way he walked told me a lot about him. He was arrogant, but not so much that he couldn't pass it off as confidence. He probably was a lady's man, with many broken hearts in his past. I could see him as one of the guys in high school that was always getting out of trouble thanks to reputation alone.

As soon as the door closed Jason started explaining the phone call from me.

"Why did you call him asking for help?" Stefan asked me, looking at me for the first time.

"I was on a run when I was attacked on your land, I was calling him to check in when I noticed I was being tracked, all that was said was that I was being followed and the line went dead. I was out for a few days so I'm guessing he got worried."

"You aren't considered a threat, Jason, I don't know about." He said. I understood Stefan's side I really did.

"I left Melbrooke because I was in a life-threatening situation, and I called Jason. We are leaving first thing tomorrow morning." I said. "I need to get as far away from Melbrooke as I can." Then I remembered my predicament.

"Shit, Jason, I haven't been able to shift since the attack. " I said, not thinking about who else was in the room.

"Wait, you can't shift since the attack?" Stefan interrupted.

"No, I can't, the arrow I was hit with was tipped with some form of Wolfsbane." I answered.

Stefan's face turned more serious than it was before.

"If you don't mind, I wish you would stay until we figure out how to reverse your… predicament." Stefan asked, as diplomatically as he could.

"The doc says it should flush out of my system eventually." I waved him off.

"Please, stay until it does." Stefan said, nearly dismissively.

"Jez," Jason stopped my upcoming response, forcing me to look at him, "take the offer."

Jason and I understood one another, I knew he had more experience than I did, but he always let me make my own decisions. He understood that I had life experience in spades in heartbreak and tragedy. So I took his advice seriously, no matter how much I didn't want to stay, it would be safer here rather than in the wilderness and not being able to change if you really needed it.

"Fine, but just until I change." I conceded. "Take blood samples, whatever you need."

"Thank you," Stefan said simply.

"If I stay, Jason stays."

Stefan looked at me with a hint of annoyance. "Fine," he growled, "But if either one of you starts something, both of you will be asked to leave, depending on the severity, your lives could be forfeit."

"Understood," Jason said and held out his hand to shake it.

Stefan shook his hand with one good hard shake and turned to me to reciprocate. The moment I took his hand, my breath caught in my throat as my wolf roared through my mouth. Mine. Mate. Stefan's hand tightened on mine sending fire up my arm. His eyes widened and I knew my eyes were now ice blue and matched his.

"Shit!" Jason cursed. "This is gonna complicate a lot." He huffed and stepped to one side of the room and started making calls. I didn't notice who he was talking to.

"Jez," Stefan whispered pulling my attention back to him.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Why didn't you wait to find me before…" Stefan said sadly looking down at my body as if I were a whore.

"I'm sorry, did you just say that?" I asked backing away from him. "You aren't a virgin either,"

"I have to know, who it was?" he growled. I admit, I get that he was protective, possessive, and alpha, but I couldn't help being pissed at what he was insinuating.

"Are you suggesting I'm a whore?" I growled.

"Are you?" he growled back. He's perfect for us. My wolf gloated. I on the other hand wanted to kill him.

"You ignorant little ass, you don't know anything about me, and you are judging me. What the hell?" I said lowly.

"What am I supposed to think? I find my mate who has been had by another wolf? Who are you with? Is it him?" he asked pointing at Jason.

"Eww! No! Jason is like my father. Already you don't trust me." My voice broke on the last note. "I find my mate, at the worst possible time," I'm starting to cry from the pent up rage, "He thinks I'm a whore, and doesn't trust me," tears start to fall. "Just reject me and let me get on with my life!" I yelled and stalked to my room slamming the door.

I cried some, but I didn't let myself cry too long. Luckily, Stefan had so much anger he didn't mark me on first sight like some shifters end up doing. After I quit crying, I felt the anger building. I couldn't believe he could judge me that fast. It about made me stomp in there and tell him the truth about it, how a hunter raped me and would sell me to other hunters. That would shock him and make him feel shitty. What leg did he have to stand on, he wasn't a virgin, but because he is male he doesn't have to follow that standard. What bullshit.

I don't want to be like that though. That is just how immature crazy girls act around their men. I wasn't going to be like that. No, I would do much worse. I would let Jason tell him. That would be even better. If Jason said something to him, it would mess with his head more, and the guilt would eat him alive until he worked up the courage to come see me. I'd be tickled pink.

What is wrong with me? I don't like manipulating people like that. Mind games always end up hurting more than anything else. I never acted this way, plotting how to get him where I wanted him. I didn't want Stefan to grovel at my feet for forgiveness, I wanted him. I didn't care about what may happen because of me being rogue and not a virgin, I just wanted to see him again.

But maybe my evil side is right. Letting him come to us was probably the best thing in this situation. He needed to apologize to me. I mean I was the one slighted, it's not like he had gone through hell to gain freedom. I needed to go for a run, but with my leg mending I couldn't do that. I could hobble out to the woods and just sit for a while. That sounded okay.

Just as I opened the door, Stefan was there like he was about to knock.

My breath caught in my throat and I was speechless.

"We need to talk." He said seriously.

"Okay," I whispered.

I stepped aside and he walked in. He stood nervously in the middle of the room. He kept his eyes glued to the floor, and he looked…ashamed? Was that shame on his face as he looked up at me?

"What is it?" I asked, breaking the silence.

"I talked to Jason, and he told me that I needed to hear your story." He said looking down again.

"Ah, well that sounds like him." I said and sat down on the bed.

He looked at me expectantly when I failed to bust out with my story, but I felt hesitant to tell him. What would he think about me? Would he think I was tainted…defective maybe? I couldn't take his rejection. I'd just die. That may sound slightly dramatic, but with the pain killers not really working, the present stress, and finding my mate, it was a little bit more than over-reacting.

"Well, what do you want to know?" I asked, quietly, my voice barely audible, but I couldn't speak any louder for all the emotions I was overloaded with.

"Just what I need to know, why you aren't a virgin, and who it was." He said taking extra care to erase any judgmental or condescending tone from his voice.

My eyes began to well up. He wouldn't want me after he knew.

"To the human world, he is my foster father," my voice started breaking. I couldn't hold the tears back much longer and I would not cry in front of him, he would see me as weak as it is. It was too much to explain about why I didn't fight him off. "In our world, he is a hunter, he knew what I was, he did it." I said almost choking on my words. I swallowed and closed my eyes, trying to rein myself back in, but I knew it wasn't working.

"What are you saying, Jez?" Stefan said taking my hand.

"I'm afraid of what you will think," I whispered. "It's best if I show you,"

I turned and showed him my back, and he gasped but recovered.

"Nothing you could ever do in your past will make me think less of you." He told me.

"Because you already think low of me." I growled.

"No I don't, I don't know you because you won't tell me anything about you, but what you showed me, I know you are a survivor, you endure, you are strong." he asked.

"Did you study law or something?" I asked.

"Well that was random." He said.

"You just lawyered me." I said pointedly.

"Did I?"

"Yeah,"

"Sorry, but it's true, I am trying to get to know you, and if I don't know, it will drive me crazy, did your father do this to you?" he had started to raise his voice and I could feel the anger and jealousy roll off of him in waves. Stefan moved from sitting next to me, to kneeling down in front of me so he faced me and made me look him in the eye.

"My mother and father disappeared when I was a baby, I've been in the foster system my entire life." I said defensively, "Jerry raped me!" I yelled at him. How could he think my father could do something like this to me? How vile and repulsing to think of something like that! Wait, he got it out of me.

Stefan's eyes glazed over with understanding, and then a fire sparked inside of him that I felt go through me as he exploded. He grabbed a lamp from the bedside table and threw it across the room. He moved to the furniture, tossing it around like it was weightless, and I started to cry again. I sat on the bed while his path of destruction encircled me. The dresser, the sink in the bathroom, the windows, the mirrors, everything was destroyed except for the bed that I was curled up on.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU FIGHT HIM OFF?! DID HE MAKE YOU THINK YOU WERE SO POWERLESS? YOU ARE A DAMN SHIFTER! HOW COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN?!"

I knew he would say something like that at some point. I just didn't expect it when I felt so weak. How could he talk about it like that? For the first time ever, I was about to pick a fight, with my mate. I didn't think this would end well.

"Are you suggesting I'm weak? I grew up not knowing I was a shifter, unlike you who has been practically bottle fed your entire fucking life! So I dare you, test me!" by this time I was standing toe to toe with Stefan, and I knew I was shaking. "Do you know what Jerry loved about having shifters in chains in his basement? He loved drugging us and then forcing us to fight other hunters so they could practice against a shifter, then afterwards I'd be tied up and beaten three fold for every blow I had landed. Every fucking weekend I was the entertainment."

"Why did you stay as long as you did!" he snarled.

"Go ahead and blame the victim you stupid Neanderthal, I will beat your ass if you ever insult me again," I roared.

"We'll see about that"

Stefan and I stared at each other and started circling cautiously. We were only inches from one another. I wouldn't break eye contact to watch his body, I could see everything he was thinking right there in his eyes. We circled, and the tension grew to the point I could barely stand it, and then like an idiot, I made the first move. Stefan easily grabbed my wrist and twisted me around into a hold, but in a way that he wasn't hurting me I noticed.

"You call this beating my ass?" he teased in my ear.

That's when I broke his hold and elbowed him in the lip, then did a round-house kick into the side of his head.

"You call that training?" I smirked.

Stefan laughed, holding his bleeding lip. "Not bad, but let's see how well you can defend yourself,"

Stefan came at me and I easily dodged his advances, but I didn't take into account all the debris on the floor. He didn't either because as I tripped on a piece of the dresser and fell backward Stefan's eyes widened in shock as he tried to reach for me. I waited to hit the floor, but the broken glass of the window caught me at the back of my calves, flipping me out the three-story window. My head hit the second story balcony. Then everything went black. Again. I had barely been conscious for four fucking hours.

I awoke to the sound of people yelling and fighting which lured me out of the deep sleep I was in. When I started to open my eyes, all I saw was bright light, and colors that blurred together in giant blobs, making me want to shut them again. Then a voice called out to me from the chaos that was invading my peace that made me force myself to focus. Stefan was calling out to me.

"Jez, please, come on Jez wake up!" he yelled lightly shaking me.

I opened my eyes and looked up at him, I was so angry, I could scream, but why do that when a gesture could say so much more. I rose up to a sitting position in a flash, bringing my right hook across his face at the same time. When he fell to his back, I ground my forearm onto his throat and straddled him.

"You insensitive bastard, Jerry is a hunter. I've been held at gun point. Beaten, whipped, chained up, and sold out for training other hunters, but did you ever stop to think of any other circumstances? No, you'd rather assume I'm useless and push me out of a window! Fuck you!" I growled quietly so no one but Stefan would hear.

"Who is Jerry?" he asked, his voice a bit strained.

"Jerry Madigan, the oldest girl he has is twelve next week, he wouldn't rape her when I was there, but she's human so he beats her for the hell of it." I glared at him, I couldn't believe I had my alpha mate pinned to the ground.

Do you really think he can't get out of this? My wolf chuckled.

Oh, shut up and let me be happy that I'm winning! I growled back at her. Sure you are winning.

Stefan's eyes shifted from confused, misplaced rage, to compassion as he finally began to think instead of floating in rage.

"Forgive me," he whispered.

"For what?" I asked, lightening the pressure on his throat.

The second I let up the pressure, Stefan flipped us over so my back was to the ground, and I was belly-up so to speak.

"For doubting that you were perfect for me." He said in a deep husky voice that sent chills down my body.

"Oh, don't get all corny on me now. I'm still pissed!" I yelled.

"Don't talk to me like that!" he yelled back.

"You don't own me!"

"You will respect me!" he growled and picked me up rising to his knees, slinging me up into the air, then catching me, placing me on my feet with his hands on my shoulders. "Now let's find some privacy." He said lowering his voice and looking over to his left. We had begun to draw a crowd. The pack had started filing out of the house, staring at us.

"Why? Are you afraid that they will get the wrong idea? That we aren't a happy couple just because our skin tingles and our wolves howl that destiny demands that we be together? Doesn't mean that it is always a fucking fairy tale, so welcome to reality." I whispered, sending daggers even though his eyes weren't meeting mine.

"No, because I don't want my pack to feel insecure just because we are having problems, please understand that I am responsible for them and I don't want them to feel unsure about their leadership. It is my duty to them, that is what an alpha does, so I won't discuss this matter further until you calm down, and aren't in hearing distance." He whispered back.

"Oh I need to calm down?" I whisper/yelled. Even as I said it, I knew that he was right. I did need to calm down. He had tried being nice and I turned into crazy pissed off bitch.

"You will do as I say," he growled at me.

I froze, and I felt myself retreat into my subconscious on instinct. He used to say that to me. I just stopped talking and limped into the woods. I felt Stefan following me, but I wouldn't turn to look at him. I had stopped steaming, but it was replaced with emptiness and fear. The deeper into the woods, the calmer I felt. The woods always made me relax, which I was grateful for when I stopped and turned to Stefan. He looked like he had calmed down some too, and there was a look on his face and I could already tell he was trying to hide his emotions.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't begin to explain to you how I feel so out of control right now." I said, sitting down, resting my back against a tree.

"No, I'm being inconsiderate. You are going through something completely foreign to me. I wasn't expecting to have a mate that was… well you know." He said sitting down against his own tree across from me.

"No I don't, please elaborate." I said glaring at him.

"I mean that you aren't like any woman I have ever had the privilege of meeting. You are hardened by the world most pack wolves never experience the harshness you have seen."

"Nice save." I said looking away and lowering the hackles.

"I understand."

I stared at the ground, studying the different colors on the ground. The leaves were reddish brown as they covered every inch of the forest floor.

"So…?" I started, my voice questioning.

"Are you staying?"

I glanced up at Stefan, his eyes were hopeful in that way little boys look on Christmas Eve that they will get presents the next morning. I thought to myself, if I did stay here, would I be far enough away from Melbrooke? What if I became Alpha Female to his pack, could I handle that? Yes, you can. We are strong, and we are stronger with our mate. Stay. As I heard the reasonable voice of my wolf I was again reminded of how she was always right. I trusted her, and things always turned out bad when I didn't trust her. So, I nodded my head yes. I would stay. If things didn't work out I could always leave. I thought to comfort myself. From the way my wolf was purring I wondered if I could leave, no matter how bad things got.

"Jez, are you saying you will be my mate?" he asked hopefully.

"I'm saying I will try." I surprised myself with a genuine smile as I watched the happy grin on his face reflect mine.

"I'll take that as a yes." He said and moved toward me, closing the distance between our lips. My body lit up like it was on fire. His lips were soft and possessive. He held me in a way that claimed me and protected me. My wolf rejoiced.