17. Seventeen

Seventeen

Kendrick

I gaze out at the ocean view, feeling a sense of calm being back at the beach house. Pouring myself a cup of coffee, I hide a yawn. Nights with Cass are wonderful—and exhausting—but I wouldn’t trade them for anything. Still, we need to talk to Cassidy about us. Sooner rather than later.

When Cass joins us for breakfast, I hand him a cup of coffee, my fingers brushing his shoulder in a quiet, lingering touch that brings a gleam to his eyes.

Clearing my throat, I remind them, “I promised Leah that I’d visit the coffee shop later this morning.” My eyes dart from Cassidy to Cass. “Why don’t you two make a day of it? Enjoy some father-daughter time.”

Cass looks over at Cassidy. “Sounds good. What do you say, Cassidy?”

Our daughter quickly agrees with a vigorous nod.

An hour later, I park in front of my house and step inside to check that everything is un-disturbed. As I step inside, the air feels stale, carrying a faint mustiness, so I open some windows to allow in the fresh air.

As I wander through the familiar rooms, a strange unease settles over me. The house feels foreign; its warmth faded. And then it hits me: this place isn’t home anymore. The realization is so startling I stop in my tracks. For years, this house was our sanctuary. But now Cass’s house somehow feels more like home. Is it because Cass is with us?

I take a deep breath, grappling with the truth: home is wherever Cass is. But the thought isn’t comforting—it’s terrifying. Can Cassidy and I truly fit into his world, or are we just another complication in a life already bursting at the seams? What if Derrick was right, and we’re only jeopardizing Cass’s career by staying with him? By wanting more?

I stand there feeling numb. Finally, glancing at the clock, I proceed to shut the windows and secure the house. Stepping off the porch, I decide to walk the short distance to the coffee shop. The brisk walk feels good. There’s not a cloud in sight as I walk down the familiar streets.

As usual, Heart & Grinds is busy, the line snaking toward the door. I spot Leah behind the counter, chatting with a customer as she prepares an iced coffee. Her face lights up when she sees me, and then her eyes go wide with shock at my new hair color. She excitedly waves me over with a grin, and I take a seat at a corner table to wait for her.

As the line thins, Leah makes her way over. “Love the new you,” she says, motioning to my hair and setting down a steaming cup of coffee for me and a latte for her.

“This is real coffee,” Leah says with a grin as she slides into the chair across from me. “None of that fancy New York stuff.”

I laugh, wrapping my hands around the warm mug. “You know you make the best coffee around, Leah.”

She chuckles, but her eyes linger on my face, studying me. “You seem... different. Besides the hair,” she laughs. After a moment, she says, “No, it’s something else. You’ve changed—you’re more peaceful. Lighter, as if a weight has been lifted off your shoulders.” She gives me a knowing nod. “It looks like having Cassidy’s father back in the picture suits you.”

I hesitate, feeling my cheeks warm. “It’s been... a good couple of months,” I admit. “Her father has been incredible. She’s getting to know him, and he’s been nothing short of amazing with her. It’s a lot to take in but in a good way.”

Leah’s eyes soften as she listens, a gentle understanding in her gaze. “That’s wonderful, Kacey.” Then she looks thoughtfully at my hair. “Is that really your name?” she adds with a gentle raise of her eyebrow, and I freeze.

I knew this conversation might come eventually, but am I ready to confess all? Leah notices my expression and leans in, her voice softening. “Your secret’s safe with me. But… I’ve been curious for a while. You don’t have to tell me anything, but if you want to…”

Something in her expression, so open and understanding, makes me feel like I can finally breathe. I take a sip of coffee, letting it warm and steady me before I glance again at Leah. “Alright,” I say, my voice barely a whisper. “But you have to promise not to tell a soul.”

Leah crosses her heart, her eyes sparkling. “Scout’s honor.”

I take a deep breath. “My real name is Kendrick Cushman. I had to lay low—to make sure no one discovered I was Kendrick Cash.”

Leah’s eyes widen slightly, and she gives a slow nod. “Kendrick Cash... I knew I recognized that name and the hair from somewhere. You used to sing, right? I remember hearing about you years back. You were just starting to get big.”

I nod, swallowing hard. “Yes, I opened for Cass Wild when he was first starting out. We were... in love back then. I was happy until things changed. A record label wanted to sign Cass at the same time I found out I was going to have a baby. He had this massive opportunity, the kind of thing we both dreamed about. And I couldn’t bring myself to tell him that I was pregnant, knowing what it could cost him. So... I disappeared.”

“Cass Wild, the famous rockstar, is Cassidy’s father?” Leah squeaks. She then lowers her voice, “Sorry. Sorry. It just came as a shock.”

I give an unhappy nod. “Now you know why I had to keep it a secret.”

Leah gives me a kind look and reaches across the table, covering my hand with hers. “You poor thing. I’m sure you did what you thought was best at the time.”

“I did,” I admit, my voice a little shaky. “I convinced myself I was doing the right thing—that his dream was more important than us. But now, seeing him with Cassidy, I can’t help but wonder if I made a mistake. I see the bond he and Cassidy are forming, and it’s incredible. But it’s also terrifying because there are still things I haven’t told him. There’s so many things left unsaid and unforgiven between us.”

Leah listens quietly, her hand still resting on mine as I sort through my thoughts.

“I care about him,” I continue, speaking more to myself than to her. “I think... no, I know that I still have feelings for him. But I’m afraid. His world, the fame, the spotlight—it’s intense. I don’t know if I want Cassidy dragged into that. I don’t want her to get hurt by it.”

Leah squeezes my hand, her gaze filled with understanding. “I can’t tell you what to do, Kacey–um… Kendrick. But from what you’ve told me about Cass, it sounds like he genuinely wants to be a part of his daughter’s life and yours. Things have a way of working out for the best. Maybe you just need to have a bit more trust in him.”

I nod slowly, her words resonating with something deep within me. But there’s another question on my mind now. “Do you think... do you think I should tell Cassidy that Cass and I are, um, starting to have feelings for each other again?”

Leah tilts her head, considering. Then, a delighted smile starts to form. “You’re sleeping with him?” she asks, her eyes darting around the mostly empty coffee house. She leans in and excitedly whispers, “You’re sleeping with Cass Wild?”

“Yes.” The word feels heavy, loaded with the implications of what that would mean for us. “Cassidy sees him as her dad, and she’s bonding with him, which is wonderful. But she doesn’t know about... us. She doesn’t know what we meant to each other back then.”

Leah’s gaze is steady. “It’s tricky, no doubt about it. Cassidy’s smart, though. She’ll pick up on things if she hasn’t already. Kids are perceptive. If you’re serious about building something real with Cass, it might be worth telling her soon so it doesn’t come as a shock or she doesn’t catch you two together.”

The thought fills me with a mix of fear and relief. Fear because Cassidy might not understand, and relief because maybe it’s time to let go of trying to hide my growing feelings for Cass.

“Thanks, Leah,” I say softly, squeezing her hand. “You’ve always been such a good friend.”

Leah smiles, a warm, knowing look in her eyes. “I’ve seen you juggle so much over the years. I know how fiercely you’ve protected Cassidy, and I know it’s been hard doing it alone. But you don’t have to go it alone anymore.”

The truth of her words settles in my chest, grounding me. She’s right. Cass is now in our lives, and he wants to be. Maybe it’s time to start building something real we can all hold onto.

Leah lets out a sigh, leaning back and giving me a playful grin. “You’ve got me all emotional. Now, enough of this serious stuff. Let’s talk about something else. What else did you do in New York?” Her eyes suddenly widen, her mouth forming an O. “You and Cassidy were with Cass Wild in the pictures they showed on TMZ! I couldn’t see your face–but it was you. Wasn’t it?” She leans forward eagerly. “Tell me all about it!”

I laugh, feeling a rush of gratitude for her light-heartedness. “Alright. Yes, the image was of Cassidy, me, and Cass’s sister, Emily.” Leah’s eyes shimmer with excitement as I continue. “We attended his sold-out performance. The crowd and energy were amazing. Then we did the whole tourist thing. Cass showed us around Central Park, and Cassidy was thrilled with every second of it. And get this—he even took her shopping for a new guitar.”

Leah raises an eyebrow. “A new guitar? Wow, he really knows what’s important to her, doesn’t he?”

I nod, my heart swelling as I recall the day. “He does. And she was so happy. It’s been beautiful to see.”

Leah listens as I recount stories from our trip, her laughter filling the air at my descriptions of Cassidy’s excitement when she met her grandparents and aunt.

“Hey, you didn’t forget you promised to help me with Cassidy’s birthday party. Did you?”

“No, and I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Still having it at your house?” At my nod, she teases. “Great, maybe I’ll get to see you and Cass making eyes at each other.”

By the time I leave Heart & Grinds, I feel lighter, as if talking things out with Leah has helped me understand my feelings better.

As I walk back toward the house, I realize that the fear holding me back isn’t as strong as it was. I think I was hesitant about telling Cassidy because I was worried that things might not turn out. But that’s just fearful thinking.

Leah is right–I need to trust that everything will work out. Maybe it’s time to start letting Cass in completely, to stop guarding myself against something that could be incredible. Because that’s what it was–once.

By the time I reach the oceanfront house, I’m filled with a new sense of resolve. I’m ready to face whatever happens—with Cass and Cassidy. I open the door to the sound of their voices.

Cass glances up at me with a smile. “Glad you’re back.” The warmth in his eyes sends a tingle down my spine.

“Did Cassidy remind you about her birthday party?”

“Of course! Dad promised he’d be there,” Cassidy states with a wide smile.

A feeling of unease goes through me. “Um… you said your friends saw those photos of all of us together on the internet. Right?”

Cassidy says, “Yes. But you said I couldn’t tell anyone he was my dad–it’s a secret.” She glances up at me with a shrug. “So, I told them he was your friend.”

“I see,” I mutter with a helpless look at Cass.

He returns my look with a hint of amusement. “A friend. That works.”

After Cassidy goes to bed, Cass’s arm goes around my waist, and he nuzzles my neck. “A friend with benefits,” he murmurs with satisfaction. “I like the sound of that. Walk with me?”

Nodding, I take his hand and follow him out to the moonlit beach. The cool night air brushes my skin as we step onto the sand. We walk in silence for a while, the only sound being the soft crash of the ocean waves.

When we arrive back at the beach house, Cass leans down to kiss me. I melt into the kiss, deepening it as he pulls me closer. Hand in hand, he leads me to the silent dunes, where he gently lays me down on the soft sand.

He quickly strips off my clothes as my hands reach out and unzip his pants, and he shimmies out of them. My trembling hands unbutton his shirt as his broader hands cover my exposed breasts. I shiver at the sensation of his warm palms replacing the cool ocean breeze.

“I’ve dreamt of making love to you on this beach,” he whispers huskily.

Pressing me backward, he covers my body with his, sharing his warmth. His rough knee spreads my thighs. Covering my mouth with his, he parts my lips and thrusts inside at the exact moment that he does the same to my lower body, filling me thoroughly and completely. I’m surrounded by him as he claims me. Right there, under the sky, the moonlight our only witness.

He steadily increases his pace, and I feel my first tremor. He reaches down between us, his fingers finding my clit, and he thrums the small bundle of nerves, propelling me toward my release, and I shatter in his arms. Crying out his name softly.

He quickly follows me, finding his own climax. After a few blissful moments, Cass shifts his heavy weight to the side. His arm around my waist anchors me to him.

As our breathing returns slowly to normal, we hear the sound of distant laughter, and he swiftly rolls, shielding my nakedness with his body. We both remain motionless and silent until the couple passes us by, and the threat of being discovered is gone.

As we lie there, him holding me tenderly against his chest, I lean toward him and whisper, “I can see the headlines now, Cass Wild caught bare-assed on the beach. Followed by pictures of your naked backside.”

A soundless chuckle spreads through him. “How would they recognize my ass, Kendrick?” He finally questions, his voice dripping with amusement.

“Surely, it’s on record somewhere. I’m surprised Derrick hasn’t had it copyrighted already.”

Laughing, he stands, pulling me up beside him. “Come on, let’s rinse off in the surf.”

Walking over to the deck, he grabs some towels. Making sure no one’s around, we step into the water, letting the waves wash over us.

Handing me a towel, we both dry off. After he wraps a towel around his hips, he turns, using the ends of my towel to pull me toward him. I willingly melt against his chest.

As his lips brush my neck, I tilt my head, my eyes fluttering shut. In this moment, every fear fades. This is where I belong—in Cass Wild’s arms, daring to believe in our future.