16. Sixteen

Sixteen

Cass

Life is good! Better than good. Being with Kendrick and Cassidy fills that empty, restless feeling that has hounded me for the last year. I feel less restless, almost content. And there’s a feeling of happiness and satisfaction in my life that just wasn’t there before.

I decide to enjoy what I have–and not take it for granted. The next couple of days blur together in a haze of laughter, quiet moments, and nights filled with passion. Kendrick slipping into my bed after Cassidy falls asleep is the highlight of every evening. But as much as I want to revel in this newfound joy, a looming performance at a rough venue intrudes on my peace.

The venue’s reputation for drugs and rowdy crowds has bothered me from the start. I voiced my concerns to Derrick, but he brushed them off as usual. Kendrick overheard the conversation, and I noticed her growing unease. I suspect she’s worried about Cassidy being exposed to things she’s not ready for—and I can’t say I blame her.

Sitting on the deck with Kendrick, the waves crashing in the distance, I decide to confront the tension. “What’s been bothering you lately?” I ask softly.

She sighs, her gaze fixed on the horizon. “It’s the venue. You said yourself it’s not a good place. I don’t want Cassidy exposed to anything dangerous… or people who might try to manipulate her. She’s still so young and innocent.”

I nod, understanding her concern. “I get it. I want you both to be a part of my life, but if it’s not right for Cassidy, we’ll figure something out. Maybe there’s a way to shield her from the worst of it.”

Kendrick meets my gaze, her expression grateful. “Thank you, Cass. Let’s see how it goes. Then we can decide what’s best for her.”

When we arrive at the venue, it pulses with a restless energy. The arena buzzes with eager fans, but there’s an undercurrent of something darker. Backstage is a mess—cluttered, noisy, and anything but professional. Kendrick and Cassidy take it all in with wide eyes, and I see the hesitation in Kendrick’s expression. I can feel it, too–something just feels off.

Some of the crew acknowledges them with a curious nod, recognizing they had been with me during the previous performance.

Derrick strides toward us, his disapproving gaze sweeping over Kendrick and Cassidy. “They’re here again?” he snaps.

“Yes, I brought my family with me.” My jaw tightens as I meet his glare. “Get used to it.”

Before Derrick can respond, Sam appears, grinning. “Hey, Cass. Girls, good to see you guys.”

“Thanks, Sam. It’s good to be here,” Kendrick says, though I catch her glancing around at the less-than-clean surroundings. I reach out and give her hand a reassuring squeeze.

“It’ll be fine,” I murmur, though even I’m not convinced.

Sam shakes his head. “Why did Derrick book this place? Seriously, it’s like he’s trying to sabotage us.”

“He wanted to appeal to a rougher audience,” I reply with a grimace. “But never again.”

Sam snorts. “Don’t let Derrick’s bad choices ruin the night. Let me introduce you to the band.”

He waves toward a group of guys standing near the equipment. “Everyone, come say hi. This is Kendrick and Cassidy. They’re visiting Cass.”

The band gives me a curious look, wondering who the gorgeous blonde and her child are to me. But when I don’t elaborate on Sam’s words, they don’t ask any questions.

First up is Vince, the lead guitarist. He steps forward with a nod and a half-smile that’s more polite than warm. His sharp features and dark hair give him a brooding presence. “Nice to meet you,” he says curtly.

Cassidy tilts her head. “Do you play the really loud guitar solos?”

Vince’s lips twitch into the faintest smile. “That’s me.”

“They’re cool,” Cassidy replies earnestly, and Vince’s expression softens slightly.

Next is Luke, the blond, laid-back keyboardist, munching on a granola bar. “Hey there,” he says with an easy grin. “Welcome to the chaos. Don’t mind Vince; he’s always grouchy before a set.”

“Luke, do you ever stop eating?” Vince quips, his tone dry but tolerant. “It’s like your entire personality revolves around food.”

Luke grins, unfazed. “What can I say? I’ve got a fast metabolism and excellent taste.” He holds up the wrapper. “Want some?”

“Pass,” Vince replies with an exasperated shake of his head. “You’re unbelievable.”

Finally, there’s Nate, the drummer. He’s tall and quiet, with an air of calm that contrasts sharply with the backstage frenzy. He gives a small wave, his dark eyes kind but reserved. “Hi,” he says simply.

“Hi,” Cassidy replies, studying him curiously. “You don’t talk much, do you?”

Nate chuckles softly. “Not unless I have something worth saying.”

Sam claps Nate on the shoulder. “Man of mystery, this one. But trust me, he’s the glue that holds us together. If Nate’s chill, everything’s chill.”

“That’s true,” I add. “Nate’s drumming is our heartbeat. He keeps us all on track.”

Kendrick smiles, her initial hesitation fading as the band’s camaraderie becomes apparent. “It’s great to meet all of you. I’ve heard so much about all of you Wild Band musicians.”

“Hope it’s all good things,” Luke quips, earning a chuckle from the group.

The light moment is interrupted by the sound of rowdy fans breaking through security. Their shouts echo down the hallway, slurred voices calling my name. One of them spots us, her eyes lighting up. “What the fuck! Is that—is that Cass Wild?” she screeches.

Security rushes in, ushering the fans out as they protest loudly. Cassidy’s wide-eyed expression shifts from excitement to something uncertain. Kendrick instinctively pulls her closer, her protective instincts kicking in.

Cassidy looks at Kendrick, a question in her eyes, and I can tell Kendrick’s thinking the same thing I am. It’s not exactly the scene we’d hoped to share with her.

When things finally settle, we retreat to my dressing room. But the atmosphere backstage remains chaotic, and I catch Kendrick’s worried glances. She’s trying to keep calm for Cassidy’s sake, but I can see the strain.

As we sit in the dressing room, Cassidy scrunches her nose. “What’s that smell? It’s gross.”

I sigh. “It’s… this place. It’s not as professional as New York. I’ll make sure we don’t come back here again.”

Kendrick’s gaze is steady. “Cass, I love being part of your life, but this isn’t the right environment for Cassidy. She’s eleven. She doesn’t need to see… all this.”

I nod, guilt settling in my chest. “You’re right. I’ll make some changes. She shouldn’t be exposed to this kind of chaos.”

The tension between us eases as I pull her into a quick hug. “We’ll figure it out. I promise.”

Later, as I step onstage, I channel the chaos and my determination into the music. Each note, each lyric, is for them—for my family. By the time the show ends, the crowd is in a frenzy, but my focus is on the two people waiting for me backstage.

When I find Kendrick and Cassidy, Cassidy’s beaming face reminds me why I’m doing this. But Kendrick’s cautious smile tempers my exhilaration.

“That was so great, Dad! I love your shows!” she exclaims, throwing her arms around me.

Derrick is there, hovering. “Great performance, Cass. You really brought the energy tonight,” he says, almost grudgingly approving. But I still notice the disdain he doesn’t try to hide as he frowns at Kendrick.

Ignoring him, I quickly lead the way back to my dressing room, hoping for a quieter setting. But the backstage area is swarming again, and it doesn’t take long before we spot something alarming.

A few groupies, obviously inebriated, are crowded into one of the backstage rooms. A haze of smoke fills the space as someone cusses a blue streak. When I glance around, I notice a girl bending over to snort a line of cocaine. Cassidy sees it as well, her eyes wide with stunned disbelief as she takes it all in. She glances up at me in horrified confusion. “Are they using drugs–”

Cutting her off, Kendrick steps closer. Her hand is on Cassidy’s shoulder, firmly guiding her toward the dressing room with a forced smile. “Why don’t we wait here until things calm down?”

I follow, shutting the door behind us, the earlier exhilaration fading as I see Kendrick’s worry hardening into something closer to resolve. We sit in stony silence for a moment, and I can feel the tension building.

Glancing at Kendrick, a new determination settles over me. She’s right. Boundaries need to be drawn and priorities established, and I need to start visualizing what that looks like.

Back in the suite, after Cassidy falls asleep, Kendrick and I make our way quietly to the outside balcony that looks over the city. Kendrick has a glass of red wine, and I have a cold beer. I sit down on the seat for two, and Kendrick nestles into my side, her head resting on my shoulder as if it’s the most natural thing in the world.

“Cass,” she says quietly, breaking the silence, “Cass, I need you to know... I’m still willing to find a way to be together—as a family.”

Pulling her close, I say softly, “I understand. And I don’t want to lose this–us. Our connection.”

Holding out my hand, I pull her up beside me and walk with her to my bedroom. Where I make slow love to her. Only stopping after she calls out my name as she finds her bliss. Once she falls asleep, I watch her as she sleeps, her face bathed by the dim light, and I can’t help but think that I haven’t felt this good since she left.

Being with Kendrick again—it’s like remembering a part of myself I thought I’d lost forever. Someone who cares for me and who I am. I had forgotten how easy she is to be around. How quickly my body responds to hers. I thought my need for her would decrease, but it hasn’t. Instead, I only crave her more.

I just claimed her body, and yet even now, as I lay beside her, watching her, my body stirs and hardens, and I want her all over again. I want to feel her soft skin against mine. I want to watch her face when she orgasms in my arms. Damn.

Ignoring the urge to wake her up and take her again, I slip from the bed. Grabbing one of the provided robes from the back of the door, slip it on, and quietly shut the bedroom door behind me. Walking onto the balcony, I lean against the railing, feeling the metal’s coolness beneath my palms.

Lifting my face to the night sky, I close my eyes and just stand there, soaking up the quiet and letting it surround me. Finally, I open my eyes and take in the city’s lights below as a new determination fills me.

I’m fully aware that the road ahead won’t be easy, but I won’t let that stop me. Kendrick and Cassidy are my future, and I stubbornly want it all–the music and them. I’m ready to take on whatever or whoever tries to stand in my way.

When I wake in the morning, the space beside me is empty. I reach out with my hand, but the sheets are cold. I grin, knowing Kendrick left my bed to slip back into hers before dawn. I wonder when or if she’ll ever be willing to share with our daughter that we’re in a romantic relationship.