Chapter 44

Harley

I wasin bed reading when I heard the lock on the door disengage. I quickly got up and hurried into the main room. Tommy looked deliciously disheveled as he came through the door, and my first thought was to strip off my clothes and let him see how badly I needed him to touch me.

But we’d agreed we’d do things differently this time.

Besides, River was asleep, but he was known to get up to go to the bathroom or ask for a drink of water. He didn’t need to see us naked in the living room.

“Hey, beautiful.” Tommy approached me with a smile, dipping his head for a soft but meaningful kiss.

“Hi,” I breathed against his mouth. “I can’t tell you how much I wanted to be waiting for you naked.”

“I know. I would have liked that too. But with River in the next room…”

“Yeah, it’s probably better if we’re clothed.”

“Well…” He looked thoughtful. “Actually, I have an idea.” He took my hand and pulled me into the bedroom, closing the door behind us. “We won’t lock it,” he said, “but this way it gives us a little warning if he comes in.”

“Warning?” I cocked my head.

“Take your clothes off, baby.”

I didn’t move right away, watching him tug his T-shirt over his head.

He was so fucking hot.

I never tired of looking at his bare torso.

Flat abs, broad shoulders, a spattering of tattoos in random places.

He was absolute perfection in my eyes.

“Stop drooling and get undressed,” he said in a soft but firm voice.

And of course, that turned me on.

What the hell was wrong with me that I liked it when he ordered me around?

It was just so sexy.

I took off my shirt, slid down my yoga pants, and stood there in nothing but my panties since I’d taken off my bra hours ago.

“Panties too,” he said, taking off the rest of his clothes.

“I thought we were going to talk?” I said, even though I’d already stepped out of my panties as I said it.

“We are. But I figured out when you’re most open and vulnerable, so I’m going to capitalize on that. Now get under the covers.”

“Okey-okey,” I said, chuckling and sliding under the cool sheets.

He turned out the light and opened the curtains, letting the illumination of Las Vegas fill the room.

Then he got into bed beside me, turning on his side and tugging me into position so I was on my side facing him, our bodies a fraction of an inch apart.

“So.” He ran a hand along the curve of my hip. “Hi.”

“Hi.”

“First, let me apologize for the way I behaved. I was upset about you blabbing to Freya, but I should have expressed that instead of just calling off the wedding and acting like a jerk.”

“It’s okay. I understand.”

“No. It’s not okay. We can’t behave that way. It’s not healthy.”

“No, it’s not.”

“So I really am sorry.”

“I accept your apology. And I apologize for opening my mouth about private band matters. I honestly don’t know what I was thinking. It truly never occurred to me that I needed to be careful with those ladies.”

He put a hand on the side of my face. “I know that. Deep down, I always knew. I guess I’m still a little raw after spending more than a year believing you and Carter had been cheating behind my back, that the threesome was a way to cover it up or something. I know that turned out to be wrong, but I believed it for sixteen months. For more than a year I lived with the knowledge that the love of my life and my best friend had been going behind my back. And this felt like another betrayal.”

“Oh, baby, I’m sorry.” I nestled into his hand. “But we didn’t. You know that in your heart of hearts, right? Carter and I were only together that one time, with you.”

“I do know that. I guess my subconscious just had a moment of…insecurity. And it’s not fair of me to take out my insecurities on you in that way.”

“You’re entitled to your feelings.”

“Yes, but not to make you feel bad about something you didn’t do. You never cheated. Just because I thought you did doesn’t mean it happened.”

“But I left you without an explanation, so you were free to think whatever you thought.”

He edged closer to me, pressing his body to mine. “We’ve both made mistakes, and we’re continuing to make them, so we have to promise each other something.”

“Okay.”

“No matter what, no matter how angry or frustrated or disappointed we are in each other, we talk it out. No knee-jerk reactions, no name-calling or raised voices, and absolutely no walking away until it’s resolved. It’s okay to take five or ten minutes to cool off, that’s normal, but we have to work through things.”

“Promise.”

He lifted my leg and gently moved it over his hip, angling his cock at my entrance. “Are you wet, baby? Will I hurt you if I do this now?”

“I was wet the minute you told me to take my clothes off,” I admitted.

He slowly and gently pressed into me, a fraction of an inch at a time, until he was fully seated. Then he leaned forward and kissed me. Lightly. Gently. A breeze against my lips. It was so deliciously sensual I felt my skin tingle with need.

“This right here, when we’re connected in the most intimate way possible, is when you’re most vulnerable. I never realized that when we were married before, but I figured it out at Harmony Place. You like it rough because it eliminates this type of connection…and protects you in a way.”

“I never needed to be protected from you!” I said in surprise.

“Maybe not consciously, but you were keeping me at a slight emotional distance, just in case.”

“Just in case what?”

He reached out and gently kneaded one of my butt cheeks, pulling me closer to him, his cock sliding even deeper. “You tell me.”

Our eyes locked and a million scenarios floated through my mind.

Because he was right.

I’d been holding on to a tiny piece of soul, just in case… he stopped loving me. Just in case it turned out a simple California girl wasn’t enough for one of the biggest rock stars in the world. Just in case our life wasn’t satisfying, especially once we found out we couldn’t have kids.

“Just in case our life wasn’t enough for you,” I whispered.

“Aw, baby. You’re all I’ve ever needed. You and my band, but mostly you, because I can still make music without them. I can’t do much of anything without you.”

“Oh, Tommy.”

“Marry me again, Harley? On Thursday, just like we planned?”

He moved, sliding halfway out and then gliding back in.

A slow, practiced movement that made me moan.

“Oh, fuck…yes.”

“Yes, you’ll marry me or yes, you like when I make love to you?”

“I…” I lost my train of thought as he started to pull out again.

He pushed back in.

“You what?” he whispered, his eyes laser focused on mine.

“I can’t think when you’re inside me like this.”

“You’re not supposed to think. Just feel. Feel how much I love you. How much I want you. How good it is between us, even when things are tough.”

“Tommy…” I groaned as he pulled all the way out to the tip.

“Look at me, baby.” He didn’t move and I whimpered.

“Look. At. Me.” He repeated himself in that deep, sexy, commanding voice I loved so much.

My eyes moved to his, and as I stared into them, I saw my entire world.

Our love, our life, our child—our child, because River had somehow always been his. Almost as if Carter had done it on purpose, giving us something we thought we’d never have. I didn’t know where that thought came from, but I suddenly knew it to be true. He’d known he wasn’t going to be around to raise his son. He’d always known he would die young.

River had been his gift to us.

“I know,” Tommy whispered. “Me too.”

He couldn’t know exactly what I’d been thinking, but it didn’t matter.

All that mattered was us, this moment, and the forever waiting on the horizon.

All I had to do was let go.

Trust him.

Trust us.

Trust this was all there was.

“I love you,” I said in a shaky voice.

In a way I’d never said it before.

Because this time I was giving him my all.

There was no more holding back, not even the tiniest sliver of my soul.

“Please…” I whispered. “Please.”

And he knew what I meant.

Knew what I needed.

Knew everything about me.

He pressed into me with gentle, loving strokes, giving himself to me just as I had just given myself to him.

The first time all over again.

He moved onto his back, bringing me with him, and settled his hands on my hips.

“Take me,” he said in a gruff voice. “Take every fucking thing I have to give you.”

There was so much meaning to his words, but I didn’t have to think anymore.

All I had to do was feel.

I rocked my hips back and forth, finding a rhythm that had us both groaning.

But we were in no hurry.

He kept me grounded, safe, content to take my time, soaking in everything that was this man.

My man.

My husband.

My love.

My everything.

“You’re so beautiful,” he said, a dark lusty look in his eyes. “Watching you riding me is still one of my favorite things. And it always will be.”

“I need to come,” I moaned.

“Whenever you’re ready.” He didn’t move, his eyes glued to mine.

“Tommy…” I picked up speed, grinding back and forth on his cock, loving how thick and hard he was.

“I love you, baby. More than anything in this world.”

And there it was.

The orgasm that hit me was intense and explosive, shaking me from head to toe as I continued to writhe over him. His fingers dug into my hips, adding the slightest hint of pain, and I went over the edge again, crying out.

“Shh.” He leaned up and captured my mouth with his, kissing me with everything he had.

And it was so much more than enough.

It was fucking everything.