Chapter 43

Tommy

The house wasempty when I got there, which was odd. Wynter liked to chill on Sundays, and she had to work tomorrow. It made sense that the three of them might have gone out for a little while, taking River to the park or something. Harley was most likely upset, so she would be doing something to take her mind off of what I’d done.

Shit.

I’d handled everything badly.

I hadn’t realized the situation would bring on a panic attack. I needed to talk to Allisha about that at some point, but for now, I decided to relax. I’d been in a tailspin all day so if I could spend an hour or so watching football while I waited for them to get home, I’d be in a better state of mind to have the conversation we needed to have. There might be some groveling on my part, and I impulsively dug out my laptop and went online.

Back in the day, sex had been our answer to all our problems.

Had an argument about how long it took her to get ready?

Fuck her against the wall.

Disagreed over whether or not to extend the tour another three months?

Tie her up and make her come until she forgot why she was upset.

Get frustrated with me because I didn’t answer her thirty-five texts in what she considered a timely manner?

Bring out the nipple clamps and add some pain to her pleasure.

Was that all we thought about in those days?

Part of me was ashamed to admit that yes, sex was a huge part of our lives, and it made no sense because I loved her more than anything. It wasn’t like we had nothing beyond our sexual attraction. We both loved good food and wine and travel. We liked much of the same music, we enjoyed the beach, and she loved fast cars and motorcycles almost as much as I did.

There had been a million reasons I fell in love with her, yet we’d somehow put a lot of our energy into the physical part of the relationship, as if we were running away from something. Deep-seated pain or childhood trauma or whatever the fuck else was roaming around in our subconscious.

I guess that was something else to take up with Allisha.

I was thinking maybe we’d take a few days and go back to Harmony Place for a little tune-up of our therapy sessions with Allisha. It was a safe, comfortable place for both of us, and if we could get coverage for River, even if it was just two days, it might be a good way for us to flesh out some of these issues I’d never thought about before.

Sex was great, but it wasn’t the answer to everything.

We would do plenty of that regardless of whether we fought first or not, but I wanted our marriage to be different this time.

This time, I needed to show her a different side of me.

We had a son now and I wanted to be a role model he could look up to, so that when he had a wife or girlfriend of his own, his love language wouldn’t be to toss her over his shoulder and drag her up the stairs. Not that I’d let him see me doing that, but kids were smarter than we gave them credit for. He’d figure it out at some point, so I had to do better and show him how a real man treated the woman he loved. Even when going through tough times.

Like right now.

I didn’t want to do the same things I’d done before.

And not just because of River.

For both Harley and for myself, because we deserved to be our best selves for each other. As corny as that sounded, I was going to do everything in my power to be the best husband and father I could be.

Carter had left me a huge part of his legacy, and I didn’t want to let him down either. I didn’t know what kind of afterlife existed, if any, but I knew with everything inside of me he was still around, watching over us. Right now, he was shaking his head at me. I could picture it.

And it made me smile.

Yeah, I had a whole new plan for Harley and me.

I was going to apologize with sweet words and presents this time around.

Maybe not all the time, but definitely this time.

Except…what the hell did you buy someone for having a knee-jerk reaction and canceling a wedding? The Hope Diamond?

I’d never bought her much in the way of jewelry when we’d been together, even though I could afford it. She’d never asked and it never occurred to me to just do it.

Well, that ended now.

I found a place in Vegas that would deliver to the hotel and made arrangements.

At some point, I must have fallen asleep because I woke up to my phone buzzing on my chest.

It was later in the day, it didn’t appear as if anyone had come home, and I sat up in alarm.

It was almost five o’clock.

Where the hell was everyone?

I grabbed my phone and decided to call her, because now I was worried.

“Tommy?” She sounded surprised to hear from me.

“Where are you?” I demanded, probably with a lot more irritation than I intended.

“I…” She faltered. “I’m in Las Vegas.” She paused. “Where are you?”

“Are you kidding me?” I opened my mouth.

Then I burst out laughing.

“Jesus.”

“Tommy?”

“I’m at home!” I said, throwing up my hand even though she couldn’t see it. “Your home, I mean.”

“Oh.” She was quiet for a beat.

Then she snickered. “We just got here. We’re in a car on the way to the hotel.”

“You went anyway?” I asked in confusion.

“I did. You don’t get to run away like I did. If we have a problem, we have to talk it out. That’s what Allisha said.”

“You talked to Allisha?”

“Not today, but in therapy. She said it, like, a million times. Don’t you remember?”

“I remember,” I mumbled. “I just maybe forgot for a minute.”

“Didn’t Wynter tell you where we were?”

“She’s not here either.”

“Oh. She might have gone shopping or out with friends after she dropped us off at the airport.”

“Shit. Now I don’t know what to do. Should I drive up?”

“Well, yeah. You’re not leaving me by myself in a hotel in Vegas with a bored toddler!”

I chuckled. “Yeah, okay. I’ll go to the bathroom and hit the road again. I was already to Fontana when I turned around. This time of day, on a Sunday, it’ll probably take three-and-a-half hours to get there. Less if traffic cooperates getting out of L.A.”

“Oh, babe, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. This is on me. I should have called to tell you I was coming back.” I was already headed to the bathroom to freshen up so I could get back on the road. “And I handled this whole situation like a dumbass anyway. I’m sorry. We should have talked things out.”

“It’s all right.”

“Did you get a room?”

“Nope. I was planning to knock on your door.”

“I’ll call the hotel and let them know you’re arriving before me. I think Z and Presley are already there, although they didn’t bring Jeremy.”

“That’s okay. River’s hungry so I’ll see if they want to get dinner. If not, we’ll order room service and I’ll get him ready for bed.”

“I got the two-bedroom suite, so we could have a little privacy.”

She chuckled. “Now why would we need privacy?”

“Well, I don’t want to traumatize him by watching me grovel.”

“You don’t have to grovel,” she whispered. “I’m the one who screwed up.”

“We both screwed up, but we’ll work through it.”

“I love you, Tommy. I don’t know what I’d do if you left me.”

“Not going to happen.”

“How long until you get here?”

“Three hours. Less if I have anything to say about it.”

“Drive safe,” she said softly. “I’d rather wait a little longer and you get here in one piece.”

“I will. Promise.”

“See you soon.”

“Love you, beautiful.”

“Love you too.”