Chapter 22

Harley

After our session with Allisha,Tommy walked me back to my room and we’d decided we would start every day by having breakfast together. We’d see each other in group therapy, and we planned to alternate sessions with Allisha; one day we’d have individual sessions, and the next we’d meet with her together. It sounded good when we planned it, and I found myself looking forward to when I’d see him again.

I was in dangerous territory with this new quest for friendship, but I hadn’t been able to bring myself to say no when Allisha suggested it. I’d talked to her about that at our session today, and she’d reminded me the whole purpose of this was to test out the waters. If it wasn’t comfortable, or if it made things worse, we could end the experiment at any time.

The funny thing was I didn’t want to end it.

I couldn’t wait until breakfast so I could spend more time with him. If it were up to me—and my treacherous heart—we’d be together all day.

Tonight was bingo night in the main hall, and I found myself heading in that direction after dinner because I wasn’t ready to go back to my room. To my surprise, Tommy was already there, sitting next to Quinn and surrounded by a handful of older ladies I didn’t recognize. They seemed enthralled with whatever he was saying, and I watched for a moment, remembering a time when he’d enthralled me too.

“You still love him, huh?” Mina’s soft voice made me jump but I turned to give her a wry smile.

“Unfortunately.”

“He loves you too, you know.”

I laughed. “Oh, I’m willing to bet he doesn’t.”

She shook her head. “I don’t know much, but I know a man in love when I see one, and that boy has it bad for you.”

I looked over at him and couldn’t help but sigh at the picture he made sitting there surrounded by people twice his age. Yet he was completely at ease, telling a story that had the group hanging on his every word.

“I used to look at him like that,” I said softly.

“You still do,” she whispered. “You just try to do it when he’s not looking.”

“I wish I didn’t do it at all,” I admitted. “I’m trying so fucking hard to get over him.”

She arched her perfectly drawn-on eyebrows. “How’s that working out for you so far?”

I made a face at her. “You’re not helping.”

She laughed and slid her arm through my elbow. “Come on. Let’s play bingo and I’ll tell you a story about unrequited love.”

“That sounds depressing,” I protested, even as I let her drag me to a table across from the one where Tommy was sitting.

He caught my eye as I sat down and gave me a quick wink before turning back to his story.

And like a dumbass, my heart fluttered with excitement.

The night we’d met, our eyes had locked across a crowded dance floor, and he’d winked. Winking had become our thing and having him do it now reminded me once again of how much fun we’d had together. And how hard it had been to leave him.

I didn’t know if there was even an iota of truth to what Mina thought, but if there was, I had to fight for it. Because I couldn’t lie to myself and pretend I didn’t want him to love me again.

“You gotta play a little hard to get,” Mina whispered, nudging me with her elbow. “You’re practically simpering over him.”

“Simpering?” I repeated the word and burst out laughing. “How old are you again?”

“Hey, don’t make fun of old people.” She wagged her finger at me. “You’ll be my age before you know it.”

“Regardless, Tommy and I were together a long time. I don’t even know how to play hard to get with him.”

She rolled her eyes. “You could start by not staring.”

“I’m not staring!” I protested.

“Are too.”

Instead of answering, I grabbed a couple of bingo cards from the middle of the table and reached for a handful of chips that would be used to mark our spots on the cards.

“Did you save a seat for me?” Harriett dropped down in the seat next to mine with a grin.

“Sure did.” Mina nodded.

“What are we staring at?” Harriett followed my gaze before I could avert it. “Oh. Tommy. He’s hot as fuck.” She looked at me. “Why are you divorced? Did he cheat?”

“No. It’s a long story.”

“We have time.”

“I don’t really—” I was saved by the announcement that the game was starting.

Mina and Harriett were funny, talking like they were old friends, and I was content to listen to them chatter in between rounds. They’d only met a week ago but were already fast friends and I wondered if I could make friends that quickly. I’d had a lot of friends before Tommy, but I’d let go of a lot of them after we got married and I’d slowly let most of the rest go after the divorce.

Tommy had never put demands on me, so I couldn’t blame it on him. Yes, he’d been busy writing and playing music, but it had been my choice to follow him. We’d been so deeply in love, it never occurred to me that it might not be healthy for us to be so co-dependent. Especially me, since he had a career and the band. Back then, all the guys in the band had been perpetually single, making me the sole band wife. I’d taken on the role of platonic wife to all of them, making sure they ate and didn’t get into too much trouble.

I’d been the one who made sure the girls who came backstage were of age, and despite Carter’s addiction, I’d done my best to get him safely to bed at night. It hadn’t always worked out, because no one could stop him when he was on a bender, but we’d all given it a shot. I’d also been the one to suggest rehab the first time. That hadn’t gone over well until Kingston found him in a puddle of his own puke one morning when he didn’t make it to the bus on time.

Those had been hard times, but we’d weathered them together, and then when both the fame and money started rolling in, we’d had good times.

“You’re not even paying attention,” Harriett said to me as she marked the B16 box on my card. “You okay?”

“Just thinking about the past.”

“Don’t do that.” She grimaced. “All it’ll do is rip open the wounds.”

“I’ve done that just by coming here.”

“B9!” The announcer called.

“Bingo!” Tommy stood up with his arms in the air.

I couldn’t help but laugh at his excitement.

The prizes were ridiculous.

A pair of socks.

A candy bar.

A box of tissues.

Gambling wasn’t allowed, so they framed it as providing us with necessities, and everyone had a good laugh every time they got up to choose their prize.

Tommy went to the prize table, picked up something I couldn’t see, and then headed in my direction.

“For you,” he said, presenting me with a package of Twizzlers.

He’d remembered they were my favorite.

This friendship thing was going to be so easy if he kept this up.

“Thank you,” I whispered.

“Any time.”

“Awww… look who has a crush!” Harriett teased.

I blushed, which made no sense, but I felt just like I had the night he’d asked me out for the first time. Had it really been thirteen years? It felt like a lifetime ago.

“You ladies want to come up to my room for a nightcap?” Harriett asked us as the evening came to an end. “I’ve got champagne and a charcuterie board coming.”

“I don’t think so,” Freya murmured. “I have some paperwork to catch up on. But thank you for inviting me.”

“I could have some bubbly,” Mina said, ignoring her.

I hesitated.

I didn’t have a drinking problem, so I was allowed to drink if I wanted to, but I’d been working on my health and alcohol seemed counterproductive.

“Come on, one glass of champagne won’t hurt you,” Harriett said. “And I can order some sparkling juice if you really don’t want to drink.”

“All right, I’m in.” I fell into step with them and followed them toward the elevators.

“Harley.”

I turned at the sound of my name and found Tommy a few feet behind me.

“What time do you want to meet for breakfast?” he asked.

“Nine?”

“Sure.” He nodded and we got into the elevator with him and Quinn behind us.

“What are you ladies up to tonight?” Quinn asked.

“Cheese and champagne,” Mina told him.

“I saw the new charcuterie boards on the late-night menu,” Quinn said. “I wasn’t sure if it was worth it, but maybe I’ll order one.”

“I’m down for cheese and cold cuts,” Tommy told him. “Though I’m not a big fan of champagne.”

“I’ve got beer in the fridge, so we’re good.”

Their floor came up first and they stepped out.

Tommy turned, winked, and disappeared around the corner.

“Sweet Jesus.” Harriett fanned herself. “If he winked at me like that, I might combust on the spot.”

“Believe me—I’m familiar with the emotion. Why do you think I married him?”

We all dissolved into giggles.

When was the last time I’d giggled?