51. Pallas

The overland journey to the Torr was miserable. Every night the soldiers set up a rickety canvas tent for Jun and me, where every insect and miserable creature could come and go freely. I pulled back the coverlet on my cot one night to find a spider the size of my palm happily waiting within. I had screamed so loud that Avlyn had come running, only to meet me with laughter. What was worse, I'd thrown my shoe at the thing, and turned around to see Spinner staring at me with eight big, hurt eyes. I hadn't had time to even try and apologize to him before he sped off into the night. I hadn't seen him since. My sleep had suffered for it.

So, instead, I lay awake listening to Jun's breathing and the rustling of every foul creature of the night scraping at the side of my tent. Somehow, this wasn't drowned out by the rambunctious activities of the soldiers that went on every night, the princess being the loudest and the most obnoxious of them all.

Afterdays of no baths, cold meals, wet feet, and freezing nights I was about ready to end it all. I smelled like horse, dirty bodies, and gods knew what else. I was about ready to rip my own skin off if it meant I might feel clean again.

Irolled over on my cot that was harder than stone, trying to drown out the sounds of braying laughter with my wafer-thin pillow when a loud crash broke through what little calm I had found. Next to me, Jun gave a small snore and rolled over, returning to sleep, but I'd had it.

Iscrambled off my cot, the meager blanket getting tangled around my legs in my frustration, and I tumbled onto the dirt floor. I hissed and scrambled out of the tent making for the ring of light surrounding the campfire.

Thecrash had come from a huge crate that now lay in scattered pieces around the body of Raula, who was laughing jovially. Tori reached down beside her and picked up a wooden tankard, noticeably empty of the ambrosia that leaked from the nearby barrel. She chucked it at Raula with all her strength, and it hit the orcess square in the abdomen. The wooden vessel shattered and Raula let out another booming laugh.

"You're going to need to do better than that. We orc aren't as soft as you fae." Tori lurched around for something else to lob at her when a slurred voice called out from the ground near my feet.

"Don… hic… t encooorage ‘er, she'll have yuh gettin' the knives ou… hic… t next."

Raulaflashed her tusks with a wicked grin, but Tori's face fell, suddenly very sober. "Who gave Noki ambrosia?" She scrambled over to the prone man.

"Was just a little sip, Princess. Didn't think it would hurt him." A soldier I didn't know chuckled, hitting a comrade on the shoulder. Tori spun on the man and his face went whiter than the snow at the peaks of the ColdMountains. "I didn't mean any harm by it!"

"That's ‘YourHighness' to you, CaptainLem. Get out of my sight, now." Lem scrambled away without so much as a glance back. Tori heaved a sigh as she moved next to Noki and finally noticed me.

"Oh, Pallas? I'm surprised to see you out here after dark."

"I couldn't sleep with all the noise." I was trying to antagonize her, but she clearly wasn't very interested. She knelt in front of the inebriated man with a worried look. She gently pushed the dark hair back from Noki's sweaty face, placing her hand along his forehead to cool him. He was barely conscious and mumbling some tune I had never heard.

Shescooped him up easily despite him being nearly the same size as her. She wrapped his knees over one arm, his shoulders the other, and stood with little effort. "Come on, let's get you to bed before you do something stupid," she tutted gently.

"I think you mean something stupider, Princess," Avlyn called from the other side of the fire.

Shegave them a flippant glare before walking off into the dark, the human male snoring gently in her arms. I now stood very alone at the edge of the fire light.

"Hey, dijurk, stop skulking and come join us, will you?" I looked up. Raula had found a seat on the ground next to Kaleos and Oryx, the smaller man huddled under the larger one's arm in the brisk night air. Raula patted the ground on her other side, which was directly next to CommanderAvlyn. Raula flashed her tusks at me in a wicked grin that very clearly communicated she knew I had been avoiding the commander ever since Xyr.

Ishuffled from foot-to-foot, unwilling to decide what to do, when Avlyn did it for me. They stood from their crossed-leg position with an exaggerated stretch. "I'm off to bed; don't get too rowdy out here, younglings." They passed by me, laying a hand on my shoulder for a moment and giving me a soft smile before heading into the dark. I could barely meet their eyes.

"Get over here, dijurk," Raula hollered. I meandered over to her and sat down, only to find six pairs of eyes staring at me.

"What?"

"Don'twhat us. Why are you and the commander acting like this?" She scowled at me.

"I don't know what you are talking about. We aren't acting any different than normal."

Kaleoslaughed at that. "Yeah, that's the problem."

Raula'sdark green mouth curved into an even deeper frown. "It's bad enough I have to deal with these two." She jerked her thumb over her shoulder at Oryx and Kaleos. "But now I have to smell you and the commander as well."

"What do you mean, smell us? I'm sorry, but it's impossible to bathe out here and trust me when I say—"

ButRaula was shaking her head, and then her dark eyes lit up in a way that reminded me of a wolf with a rabbit. "I don't mean you're unclean. You smell like… well if you were orcs, I would say you were about to go into a breeding cycle."

"What?" I clutched my hand to my chest, and my mouth hung open.

"No use denying it, my lady. I might not have Raula's sense of smell but it's pretty obvious with the way they look at you," Kaleos commented.

Oryxchuckled, "It's just like the princess all over again, isn't it?" All three of them laughed, and I was sure I was about to melt into the ground with embarrassment. My mind was still clinging to Kaleos' words "the way they look at you."

"What's just like me again?" Tori had come around the nearest tent, arms empty and Noki tucked into bed.

"Oh, we were just asking Pallas why—" I punched Raula hard on the arm. It was like a fly trying to knock over a teapot, but she laughed instead of finishing her sentence. "Hey, look who's got some strength after all?"

"I'm going to bed," I grumbled, starting to stand up when her arm came down over my shoulders.

"Don't run away, my lady. We'll stop teasing. Sometimes, we soldiers forget how to act around the gentry."

Torisat down beside me, and we sat in silence for some time. I counted, wondering how long it would take for her to break it.

"So, have you seen Spinner lately?" Ten seconds.

"Pardon?"

"I know he likes you, and I haven't seen him in two nights. I was wondering if you had?"

"No, I haven't. We had a bit of a… falling out." I couldn't believe how sad that made me.

"He saw you squish a spider, huh?" Kaleos asked, knowingly.

"I didn't even squish it!"

"Take it from me, check your boots for webs before you put them on next time." He laughed, but Tori looked out along the horizon.

"We aren't far from Tenebrae; I wonder if he went home?" Her mouth twitched in a sad smile before she stood abruptly.

"We should all get to bed. Who knows what we will find tomorrow."

TheTorr rose ahead of us, but I felt it long before we had crested the final rise of hills that preceded it. It wasn't visually different from the ColdMountains that spanned the horizon behind it. Dark rock jut up into the sky, curious in its solitude. The surrounding, flatter earth quickly shifted into a steep cliff that formed a single tower of rock. It was taller than any palace, at least tenfold, and the top looked as if a great hand had cut it flat. All around the exterior of the natural tower, the dark openings of caves could be seen.

Perhapsthat is all it looked like to the humans in our entourage, notably devoid of plant life but not so extraordinary. ButI would have known this place was an abomination had I been stripped of all my senses. A terrible wrongness pulsed from it that wrapped its horrible tendrils around the very pit of my stomach and tugged with great force. My breath started coming in shallow pants with each step towards the Torr as if it was trying to squeeze the life directly out of me.

Isaw numerous members of our party falter as we drew closer. Most who did were fae, or partially so, but on none was it so obvious as it was with the king.

Hisskin had grown even more pale, and his entire brow shone with sweat. He pulled up the reigns of his horse and didn't move; his eyes locked on the Torr. Tori rode her horse beside him, somewhat awkwardly, clearly not used to riding. She leaned over and lay her hand on the king's shoulder, whispering something.

Abraxasbarely reacted, but she turned her horse away and shouted, "Far enough. Let's set up camp two hundred pace to the east."

Shegrabbed the reins of his horse with her own, and gently guided them away from the Torr. The king was still locked in a trance.

Ilooked over to Jun, who rode beside me, and was surprised to see him looking remarkably unperturbed. He saw my gaze and asked, "Are you alright, Pallas?"

"Yes, this place is far more unnerving than I thought it would be." He didn't respond. "Can't you feel it?"

"Yes." A blank answer. I waited to see if he would give me more, but instead he turned his horse around, following the flow of travelers behind his sister.

Wesettled at the top of a slight rise as the soldiers began setting up the camp. It was unnaturally silent, especially compared to every night on our journey out here. Everyone moved as if they expected to be attacked at any moment.

Noone looked worse than Noki, though. He had huge bags under his eyes, sallow skin, and cracked lips.

"Lem's a right bastard; he was just jealous you chose me to lead this," he mumbled as he helped the princess pull a huge canvas tent up. She saw me walking by and tossed a rope at my face. I barely managed to stop it from making contact before fumbling and dropping it to the ground.

Shesighed. "Be useful and hold that tight." I glared at her but obeyed. Everyone was wound tight, and I didn't want them to snap. She ducked behind the other side, and I gripped my rope tight as she tugged in the opposite direction.

"IfI may, my lady?" Noki took the rope from me and tied it to a stake he had placed in the ground. He gave me a pained smile as he stood before rubbing his head.

"You know, klaris root would help with that hangover," I advised.

"Yeah, Oryx already brought me some. My head still feels like it's going to split open. I'm gonna kick Lem's ass when I get the chance."

"You're lucky you remember last night at all."

Hegroaned again. "WishI could forget right now. I see how it's easy for humans to get addicted to this stuff. Felt amazing last night." He sighed and rubbed his head again. "Not worth it, though." He straightened his shoulders. "The princess has given me the honor of running this operation, and I won't let her down."

Iraised an eyebrow at him, examining him from head to toe. His dark hair was messy and hung in front of his face, and I could see the tremors in his fingers as the ambrosia still lingered in his system. This little, hungover human was who Tori decided to put in charge of the investigation of the Torr?

"How old are you?" I asked.

Hisface tightened and he straightened a bit more. "Twenty-eight."

Ilaughed, and his face grew red. Twenty-eight? For the fae, that was practically still a youngling. I didn't know what we would find in this horrible, cursed place, but there was no way a human would be able to handle this.

"Pallas! Stop harassing my men and come help me." The princess had come back around the tent and looked ornery. "Noki, start gathering your cohort for the first scouting mission." Noki snapped into a salute, and she gave him a soft smile. "You've got this under control, Lieutenant." He ran off, and Tori gave me another displeased look.

"A strange leader you have chosen, Princess."

"I didn't see you volunteering to lead the charge."

Ishivered. "I don't think I would last very long in there."

Sherolled her eyes. "Exactly. Why do you think I put Noki in charge."

"But he's so young and only a human. How do you expect him—?" She gave me a harsh look, like I was missing the very obvious. It turns out, I was. "It's because he's human. He's less affected by the curse."

"I knew you'd get there eventually, Pallas." She wrapped an arm around my shoulder and dragged me away quite aggressively. She'd been spending too much time with the soldiers; she's forgotten how to be a lady.

"Didn't forget, just never much cared to lock myself in that particular cage."

HadI said that out loud?

"You still are, Pallas. An effect of the curse, perhaps? Best be careful. You might admit some things you would rather not. I'll warn the camp to be on their best behavior."

The next few days were spent with Noki and his cohort of humans and a few orcs investigating the Torr. Tori planned on one scout mission each morning and one in the afternoon, but that had quickly fallen apart. Groups of humans would enter the Torr only to emerge minutes later, claiming they had been lost for days deep within the caves. Others would enter only to emerge days later, claiming they had been inside only a few hours.

Theprincess had quickly become much more cautious, sending only small groups and waiting for them to emerge before sending others. So far, everyone had come back, eventually. The days ticked by with little progress.

Thecamp became putrid, and it wasn't just from weeks of waste. The non-consensual honesty that had been placed on those of fae blood had started more than a few fights and ended more than one relationship. Kaleos and Oryx were currently not on speaking terms it seemed, so the healer had been spending more time with Jun, the two of them often foraging together in the surrounding fields.

Thereports that came back from the Torr were just as festered. Visions of grand ballrooms and ancient temples. Some said they had seen their childhood homes, complete with the family pet, down to the last detail. Others reported seeing their loved ones torn to shreds, their bodies massacred and feasted upon.

Itsounded like classic illusion magic, calling on the memories and fears of the intruders. I made the mistake of mentioning this to the princess and she called me to every debriefing of the scouts since.

Isat in an uncomfortable chair in the corner, mostly ignoring them until one day, something impossible happened.

"It was the emperor; I was sure of it. It was like I had wandered into his war council or something," Noki said. He'd been in the mountain for three days, and for once, his timeline lined up with ours. He had gotten the furthest into the caves, the best we could surmise. Abraxas had drawn a map from what he remembered, but by his own admission, those memories were over six hundred years old and "cloudy."

"But he wasn't the emperor yet. They kept calling him ‘PrinceHadeon' and this other guy ‘king.' Hadeon was working to strategize an attack on something. I wasn't sure what. AllI could think about was how pissed that king guy was as he watched Hadeon. Just fuckin' staring daggers into him. Especially when the commanders were all ‘great job, Hadeon' and ‘you're a great strategist like your father, Hadeon.' After they all cleared out, the king went up to him, grabbed his collar, and was all, ‘remember your place, boy.' The whole thing was weird as hell. No way any of that was real."

Itwas real. I hadn't been there, but it played like so many similar incidents I had seen in those years before Obion's death, that there was no doubt it had been true. How had Noki seen such a thing? A true vision of the past—that was a magic that could only be woven by the most complex of enchantments… or curses.

Thesoldiers quickly devolved from any useful topics and I left the tent. This was something that I needed to update the princess about. I walked to her tent but paused outside when I heard lowered voices. I stood outside, listening through the paper-thin walls and peering through a small crack in the canvas.

"It's like Tenebrae, the warping of time. But so far no one has been lost."

"Not yet, but I can feel it. The curse was sleeping, but it slowly awakens." The king shook his head. "It's calling to me, calling for blood. Our people won't be safe in there much longer."

"Then we have no choice. I have to—"

"No! I will not allow it." I saw her expression twist in annoyance, but it softened, and she gripped Abraxas' face gently.

"I can feel it, that well of mana beneath the mountain. ButI can't reach it! This damn curse is blocking me."

"Exactly, I won't be able to connect with you, Tori. The curse will warp our bond. I can't stand it. I won't be separated from you again."

"Do you not believe I am strong enough on my own?"

"Of course I do. Don't you see? It is I who isn't strong enough without you."

Myheart twinged at how he looked at her, how he held her close, and meant those words. I hated how very jealous it made me. I let out a soft cough and they turned as I entered the tent.

"Pallas, good. Any news from Noki?"

"Yes, everyone came back without injury again, but there was something interesting this time."

"Let us hear it. I have no time for dramatics." The king's face was ashen, with deep bags under his eyes. I almost felt bad for him but couldn't quite find that sympathy. I turned to the princess.

"Noki saw a vision of something that happened in the past."

"Yeah, we've seen that before, people's memories. Was there something else?"

"The past he saw was not his own. It was an event none of the humans in his party could have known, as it happened four hundred and fifty years ago."

Atthis, I had both of their attention.

"And you are sure the things that Noki saw were true?"

"Yes." I didn't explain more. I could not lie, but I didn't have to tell the whole truth. Neither of them pressed me. Instead, Tori turned to the king.

"Think of what we might learn, Abraxas. We could destroy the node and perhaps discover something, maybe something that would help us."

"I hate to say it, YourHighness, but for once, I agree with Abraxas." They both looked at me with surprise. "This curse is beyond anything I've ever read about before. Ithas warped the very fabric of reality. Who knows what you will see? What will you find? You say you will find knowledge, but I say you will find untold danger."

Abraxasnodded. "EvenPallas agrees, Tori, you must—"

"No. I will not put my cohorts at risk, a risk I wouldn't be able to tackle myself. I'm going in there tomorrow morning."

Theybegan to squabble again, and I excused myself before I saw anything I didn't care to witness.

Iwandered back to the tent I shared with Jun, and once again found myself listening in on a conversation from the outside.

"He's just always so damn overprotective of me. I'm older than he is! I can take care of myself."

Junnodded; his face grim. "I know. Tori is the same way. She treats me like I'm still a youngling, and it makes me… beyond frustrated." I froze, unable to believe what I heard. The truth of his heart revealed.

Ipeered through the gap in the tent and saw Oryx lay his hand gently on Jun's. "Have you talked with her about it?"

"I feel like now may not be the best time. We might end up just fighting over it like you and Kaleos."

Oryxwaved his hands. "Yeah, I mean, it was really upsetting what he said, but now we understand each other a bit better. We have to work on his protectiveness, but at least now we are starting from a place of honesty. Maybe this curse really was a blessing in disguise?" He laughed. "I've really already forgiven him."

Junchuckled, too. "Then why are you here talking to me and not him?"

Oryxtwitched his soft, pointed ears. "He can't stand the silent treatment, and he still needs to grovel a bit more for what he said." They both laughed amicably, and I cleared my throat.

"Come on in, Pallas." Jun turned to me with his soft smile.

Oryxrose off the cot. "Guess it's time for me to go and end his suffering."

Isat down. "You two seem to be getting close."

"He's easy to talk to."

"As you predicted, your sister has come up with the reckless idea that she's going to head into the Torr solo."

Jun'sface tightened. "When?"

"Tomorrow morning."

"I'm going with her." His response was so fast and cold I thought I misheard him. His mouth was set into a grim line, and I knew that I had not.

"You can't do that. It's too dangerous!"

"Would you keep me caged, too, Pallas?"

"Jun, I don't understand."

"Ever since Koron, you and Tori both; you've doted on me like I'm a youngling. A weakling who needs protecting. But have you ever considered that I don't want that? ThatI just might be able to take care of myself?" His words were soft, they always were, but they were laced with a venom I've never heard before.

"I'm sorry. I never meant to make you feel that way. I love you. I can't bear the thought of you hurt."

"I know, but that's not your choice to make."

Ilooked at him and swore I could see those shadows Tori had talked about swirling in his eyes. How many years had I longed for a choice in my own life, no matter what the consequences were? I understood his need completely. And he was strong, not just in magic, but in his heart. That is why I loved him so.

"I'm sorry, Jun. What can I do?"

Isaw those shadows fall back, just a little. "You have to let me go, Pallas."

Ilinked our pinkies together. "Better than that, I'll let you fly."